You know you're in trouble when you get to the table and...


Pathfinder Society

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The player playing the bard says, "I just made my perform check, and I actually wrote an epic poem for just this situation. Here goes..."

Lantern Lodge 5/5

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...your players are 1001 replies into a thread.


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...the girlfriend of one of your players has come to the game, not because she's interested, but because she doesn't believe him when he says that this is what he does every week when he goes to "hang out with the guys". (True story)


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BigNorseWolf wrote:
The Morphling wrote:

I have literally sat at a table where the following sentence was uttered with complete seriousness.

"The allosaurus will aid on the diplomacy check."

I don't find that implausible in the least. If someone was being followed around by an allosaurus i would be VERY inclined towards granting their requests.

That sounds more like Intimidate. Unless you mean: "Hey, help us out, would you? I'll let you ride around town on my pet dinosaur!"

5/5 5/55/55/5

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Matthew Downie wrote:
BigNorseWolf wrote:
The Morphling wrote:

I have literally sat at a table where the following sentence was uttered with complete seriousness.

"The allosaurus will aid on the diplomacy check."

I don't find that implausible in the least. If someone was being followed around by an allosaurus i would be VERY inclined towards granting their requests.
That sounds more like Intimidate. Unless you mean: "Hey, help us out, would you? I'll let you ride around town on my pet dinosaur!"

Good cop, devour you cop.

Good cop makes diplomacy, devour you cop makes.... spit him out!

Liberty's Edge 1/5

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Randarak wrote:
...the girlfriend of one of your players has come to the game, not because she's interested, but because she doesn't believe him when he says that this is what he does every week when he goes to "hang out with the guys". (True story)

Sounds like something my girlfriend would do. Mostly to make sure that I am not checking out girls while there, though.

Dark Archive 3/5

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My druid character just dropped out of the pfs. Strangely though, his spionosaurus AC just JOINED the pfs. Eventually, they will have the same intelligence at 5(yay stupids!).
This is going to be interesting to roleplay from here on, with the dino as the pathfinder.


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Your first encounter begins with a contest of who can hide farthest in the back.

"I'm staying in back."
"I go full withdraw."
"Shouldn't one of you guys go into the room? I'll wait here as backup."
"Well, I'm still out here in the hallway. YOU go in."
"Heck with that, I cast Vanish and run away."
"Hang on, maybe I can charm a rat and send it in ahead of us...."

Paizo Employee 3/5 5/5

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Calybos1 wrote:

Your first encounter begins with a contest of who can hide farthest in the back.

"I'm staying in back."
"I go full withdraw."
"Shouldn't one of you guys go into the room? I'll wait here as backup."
"Well, I'm still out here in the hallway. YOU go in."
"Heck with that, I cast Vanish and run away."
"Hang on, maybe I can charm a rat and send it in ahead of us...."

Hey, what do you expect when the encounter is really your mission briefing with Drangle Dreng.


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No one brought Funyons.

Sovereign Court

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When the highest bluff score is borne by the paladin.


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Pathfinder Maps, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
FranKc wrote:
...your 1st level wizard has the highest amount of hitpoints and best AC. He was also the other character to survive the scenario.

I just re-confirmed that the wizard in our party has the most hit points in the party -- and he is even one level below the rest of the party. That sort of thing can happen when you are playing a gnome and make constitution one of your highest stats.

5/5 5/55/55/5

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Crashwheeler wrote:
Randarak wrote:
...the girlfriend of one of your players has come to the game, not because she's interested, but because she doesn't believe him when he says that this is what he does every week when he goes to "hang out with the guys". (True story)
Sounds like something my girlfriend would do. Mostly to make sure that I am not checking out girls while there, though.

Its dungeons and dragons! What makes her think there will be GIRLS there?

ow ow ow ow ow! kidding ow ow ow

5/5 5/55/55/5

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One players puns are so bad the DM rules they constitute PVP

Grand Lodge 2/5

The cleric has the highest strength and lowest charisma in the party...oh wait..that's me..

Silver Crusade 4/5

claudekennilol wrote:
The cleric has the highest strength and lowest charisma in the party...oh wait..that's me..

What's the matter with that?


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Kurik Grandhelm wrote:
claudekennilol wrote:
The cleric has the highest strength and lowest charisma in the party...oh wait..that's me..
What's the matter with that?

Cleric am smash puny scenario!

Sounds cool to me!

Sovereign Court

MrSin wrote:
Kurik Grandhelm wrote:
claudekennilol wrote:
The cleric has the highest strength and lowest charisma in the party...oh wait..that's me..
What's the matter with that?

Cleric am smash puny scenario!

Sounds cool to me!

It works if you're the dwarf archetype which gives up channel for tankiness.

5/5 *****

Charon's Little Helper wrote:
MrSin wrote:
Kurik Grandhelm wrote:
claudekennilol wrote:
The cleric has the highest strength and lowest charisma in the party...oh wait..that's me..
What's the matter with that?

Cleric am smash puny scenario!

Sounds cool to me!

It works if you're the dwarf archetype which gives up channel for tankiness.

Or, frankly, almost any other variety of cleric.

4/5

Charon's Little Helper wrote:
MrSin wrote:
Kurik Grandhelm wrote:
claudekennilol wrote:
The cleric has the highest strength and lowest charisma in the party...oh wait..that's me..
What's the matter with that?

Cleric am smash puny scenario!

Sounds cool to me!
It works if you're the dwarf archetype which gives up channel for tankiness.

is the Cleric's companion a Panzer, Sherman, Abrams?


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Stephen Ross wrote:
Charon's Little Helper wrote:


It works if you're the dwarf archetype which gives up channel for tankiness.
is the Cleric's companion a Panzer, Sherman, Abrams?

An Abrams in the party? Great, the opposition will be permanently dazzled by lens flare :D

Dark Archive 4/5 5/5 ****

BigNorseWolf wrote:
One players puns are so bad the DM rules they constitute PVP

Had that happen Saturday at a table I was GMing. Well, I didn't rule it as PbP, but I should have.

Grand Lodge 4/5

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Silbeg wrote:
BigNorseWolf wrote:
One players puns are so bad the DM rules they constitute PVP
Had that happen Saturday at a table I was GMing. Well, I didn't rule it as PbP, but I should have.

Puns are Play by Post, now?

... your Magus is the party healer, and is the only one with any sort of healing, and that requires rolling UMD... With a +5...

Grand Lodge

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The gaming couple across from you spends the first 3 minutes making out...

4/5 5/5 Venture-Lieutenant, Finland—Tampere

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blackbloodtroll wrote:
The gaming couple across from you spends the first 3 minutes making out...

...or most of the game, and you're the GM, and not quite sure what to say to them to make them stop.

The Exchange 5/5

blackbloodtroll wrote:
The gaming couple across from you spends the first 30 minutes making out...

there, fixed that for you....

Shadow Lodge

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blackbloodtroll wrote:
The gaming couple across from you spends the whole scenario making out...

but at least they are doing so in character.

The Exchange 5/5

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Dylos wrote:
blackbloodtroll wrote:
The gaming couple across from you spends the whole scenario making out...
but at least they are doing so in character.

it wouldn't be as bad ... if they weren't both older gamer dudes, playing a hot Aasimari couple...

Shadow Lodge

nosig wrote:
Dylos wrote:
blackbloodtroll wrote:
The gaming couple across from you spends the whole scenario making out...
but at least they are doing so in character.
it wouldn't be as bad ... if they weren't both older gamer dudes, playing a hot Aasimari couple...

Not a hot Ifriti couple? Or maybe an Ifriti/Oread, one has the hots for the other, and the other...

The Exchange 5/5

Dylos wrote:
nosig wrote:
Dylos wrote:
blackbloodtroll wrote:
The gaming couple across from you spends the whole scenario making out...
but at least they are doing so in character.
it wouldn't be as bad ... if they weren't both older gamer dudes, playing a hot Aasimari couple...
Not a hot Ifriti couple? Or maybe an Ifriti/Oread, one has the hots for the other, and the other...

that would work I guess... wait... the other is just dirty?

ice skating close to the edge aren't we? going to get us deleted

Grand Lodge 4/5

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nosig wrote:
Dylos wrote:
nosig wrote:
Dylos wrote:
blackbloodtroll wrote:
The gaming couple across from you spends the whole scenario making out...
but at least they are doing so in character.
it wouldn't be as bad ... if they weren't both older gamer dudes, playing a hot Aasimari couple...
Not a hot Ifriti couple? Or maybe an Ifriti/Oread, one has the hots for the other, and the other...

that would work I guess... wait... the other is just dirty?

ice skating close to the edge aren't we? going to get us deleted

Probably not, as long as you keep it within the same bounds as the naked female Druid grappling the Succubus thread....

5/5 5/55/55/5

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Rei wrote:
blackbloodtroll wrote:
The gaming couple across from you spends the first 3 minutes making out...
...or most of the game, and you're the GM, and not quite sure what to say to them to make them stop.

*Ray of frost*

*Create water*

Shadow Lodge

kinevon wrote:
nosig wrote:
Dylos wrote:
nosig wrote:
Dylos wrote:
blackbloodtroll wrote:
The gaming couple across from you spends the whole scenario making out...
but at least they are doing so in character.
it wouldn't be as bad ... if they weren't both older gamer dudes, playing a hot Aasimari couple...
Not a hot Ifriti couple? Or maybe an Ifriti/Oread, one has the hots for the other, and the other...

that would work I guess... wait... the other is just dirty?

ice skating close to the edge aren't we? going to get us deleted

Probably not, as long as you keep it within the same bounds as the naked female Druid grappling the Succubus thread....

Ok, now I'm curious, where is this thread.

4/5

Dylos wrote:

Ok, now I'm curious, where is this thread.

Search is your friend. Enjoy.

Grand Lodge 4/5

Lithrac wrote:
Dylos wrote:

Ok, now I'm curious, where is this thread.

Search is your friend. Enjoy.

I knew better, I knew someone would ask, but I still mentioned it.

Mea culpa.

And my apologies.


....its made by Fisher Price.

Shadow Lodge 2/5

I dreamt last night that I dozed of while GMing The Merchant's Wake. One of the players asked, "Can we speed this up a bit so we can finish?"
"No problem," I said, "we should be able to get through the second half quickly." Then I saw it was 2am and we should have been out of the store about 5 hours ago. "Anyone interested in finishing this out PbP?"
Hopefully it goes better tonight.

1/5

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The druid thinks "BUT HE IS A PRIME APE" is a good argument for why his animal companion should be able to use its climb speed on the ceiling of a cave.

4/5

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Sitri wrote:
The druid thinks "BUT HE IS A PRIME APE" is a good argument for why his animal companion should be able to use its climb speed on the ceiling of a cave.

Check his climb speed, it should be something like 13, 17, 19, 23, ... otherwise he's not Prime... and you won't let him do it 'cause he's got a divisor... (it's a lot like a detractor)


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...the player playing the wizard pulls out a balloon filled with liquid and a lighter saying, "I found a way to make my fireballs seem more realistic..."

Grand Lodge

When the Lawful Good Paladin thinks that Knee bashing someone with a Tower shield or leg-breaking criminals is a not only good, but lawful practice

Silver Crusade

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Dumagand Bal'tok wrote:
When the Lawful Good Paladin thinks that Knee bashing someone with a Tower shield or leg-breaking criminals is a not only good, but lawful practice

Depends on if said knee bashing occurs before, during, or after said criminal activities.

Grand Lodge

Dylos wrote:
blackbloodtroll wrote:
The gaming couple across from you spends the whole scenario making out...
but at least they are doing so in character.

Actually, no. Players, not PCs.

Also, not very attractive, so not much entertainment value.

Liberty's Edge

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Dumagand Bal'tok wrote:
When the Lawful Good Paladin thinks that Knee bashing someone with a Tower shield or leg-breaking criminals is a not only good, but lawful practice

Judge Dredd-style Paladins are the best kind of Paladins.

Grand Lodge

PrinceRaven wrote:
Dumagand Bal'tok wrote:
When the Lawful Good Paladin thinks that Knee bashing someone with a Tower shield or leg-breaking criminals is a not only good, but lawful practice
Judge Dredd-style Paladins are the best kind of Paladins.

Cursed Nude Oracle Arshea-worshiping Paladins are the best.

Silver Crusade

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blackbloodtroll wrote:
PrinceRaven wrote:
Dumagand Bal'tok wrote:
When the Lawful Good Paladin thinks that Knee bashing someone with a Tower shield or leg-breaking criminals is a not only good, but lawful practice
Judge Dredd-style Paladins are the best kind of Paladins.
Cursed Nude Oracle Arshea-worshiping Paladins are the best.

Wait, we have a Nudity Curse? Why was I not informed of this?


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The paladin is honorable.


blackbloodtroll wrote:
Dylos wrote:
blackbloodtroll wrote:
The gaming couple across from you spends the whole scenario making out...
but at least they are doing so in character.

Actually, no. Players, not PCs.

Also, not very attractive, so not much entertainment value.

That kind of behavior is unacceptable in public ... ... Unless you're hot.


Hey TCG! Long time no see! It's been a while since we ran into each other on a thread.

Back on topic: You know you're in trouble when you get to the table and the Rogue has just reappeared with a shiny new Fiendish template and an evil talking cat, but is still saying everything's legit.

Yeah, the rogue isn't really that bright. Apparently still good, though we'll see if that lasts.


FuelDrop wrote:

Hey TCG! Long time no see! It's been a while since we ran into each other on a thread.

Back on topic: You know you're in trouble when you get to the table and the Rogue has just reappeared with a shiny new Fiendish template and an evil talking cat, but is still saying everything's legit.

Yeah, the rogue isn't really that bright. Apparently still good, though we'll see if that lasts.

Hello. *Waves*

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