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So I was gifted Kobolds of Golarion for Christmas this year, and while reading through it again, I noticed something. Damiel falling into a kobold trap on the two-page art panel.
This got me thinking. Does ANYTHING ever go right for Damiel? Or Kyra? Or Lem? Thusly, this thread was born. The thread where you can post ANY time an iconic gets the short end of the stick in an artistic depiction. Let's see who the Art Department's whipping boy / girl REALLY is!
I'll start:
Damiel, Iconic Alchemist
- Get's pelleted with rotting food in Ultimate Combat.
- Winds up in the stockades in Ultimate Combat.
- Falls for a Kobold Trap in Ultimate Combat.
Kyra, Iconic Cleric
- Gets turned into a vampire in Faiths of Corruption.
- Gets infected with lycanthropy in Blood of the Moon.
Lini, Iconic Druid
- Gets thrown in prison in Ultimate Campaign.
Lem, Iconic Bard
- Gets rejected by his first love in Ultimate Campaign.
- Gets brutally murdered in Ultimate Campaign.
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Kyra also got soul sucked by a succubus in Demons Revisited.
Considering she was unbound, not grappled, and has a good will save, she probably brought it on herself... Kidding, just kidding. Mostly ;)
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Sajan gets a little tied up by a Constrictor Snake in Bestiary 2.
Erzen gets turned into a woman in the Advanced Player's Guide. He doesn't look like he's enjoying the process.
Score Card
- Damiel - 3
- Erzen - 1
- Kyra - 3
- Lem - 2
- Lini - 1
- Sajan - 1
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And then there's Valeros, who is getting beat up, crushed, chewed on, thrown, or otherwise assaulted in nearly every picture he's in.
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Occasionally hit back?
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Not with that oversized sword and armor spikes they won't.
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Kyra's disqualified as Merisiel is her whipping girl.
According to the internet.
Damiel sure does put up with a lot of crap though. Such as Alain in Ultimate Campaign...
I want to say he ran into trouble again in Kobolds of Golarion, but I'm not sure. I think he was pictured along with Alain, so that should probably count twice.
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The other characters don't seem to care much either. The story of him and Seoni fighting the hydra in UC? "The spell needed to be finished, and he wouldn't hit the ground for another few seconds at least. Plenty of time."
Remember, guys, I can't give your favorite iconic points unless you actually cite the artwork where they get beat up in.
Saying, "Valeros gets crushed in every picture he's in" doesn't net Valeros any points. You gotta say something like, "In Ultimate Whipping Boy, Valeros gets the smackdown from a succubus."
And actually, I'd place Valeros and Amiri as the primary contestants for the Iconics who the least bad things happen to off the top of my head. PROVE ME WRONG, PEOPLE!
Valeros gets hit in the face by Damiel's alchemical frost in one of the title cards of Ultimate Equipment.
Although never clarified, it appears that Balazaar gets eaten by his Eidolon in Ultimate Campaign.
Score Card
- Balazaar - 1
- Damiel - 3
- Erzen - 1
- Kyra - 3
- Lem - 2
- Lini - 1
- Sajan - 1
- Valeros - 1
Well, as mentioned above, in Advanced Player's Guide (sorry, wrong book, not UC) he's flung off into the background by a hydra while Seoni ignores him to finish casting her spells.
I'm sure I can find more when I get home.
I don't think anything bad happens to Amiri. I mean, in Kingmaker & Ultimate Campaign she's shown as a Barbarian Heroine Queen.
On page 66 of Ultimate Campaign Sajan is shown on a wanted poster for treason, so I guess that could be considered bad.
Amiri is eaten by a carnivorous crystal in one of the bestiaries.
Question: Do we count the various picture from the Monster x Revisited line of books? Because everybody gets bad stuff done to them. I mean Lini got her companion turned into a pelt in that book....
@John: Count EVERYTHING.
+1 Valeros (flung off a cliff)
+1 Amiri (eaten by a carnivorous crystal)
+1 Lini (friend turned into a pelt)
Score Card
- Amiri - 1
- Balazaar - 1
- Damiel - 3
- Erzen - 1
- Kyra - 3
- Lem - 2
- Lini - 2
- Sajan - 1
- Valeros - 3
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I mean Lini got her companion turned into a pelt in that book....
Poor Droogami.
Lini definitely had one of the most brutal experiences in Demons revisited.
Didn't Lini also have her animal companion turned into a kitten at one point?
It's either Ultimate Combat or Ultimate Magic.
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Meresiel's getting Black Tentacled by a Drow Priestess on the cover of Into the Darklands... That sentence really sounded wrong.
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Oh, and getting wrapped up by an Octopus monster on the cover of Wake of the Watcher. What is it with her and tentacles..?
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Kyra gets Perma-frosted in Rise of the Runelords Anniversary Edition, page 334 (fighting
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NO! The
+1 Kyra (Perma-Frosted)
+1 Merseiel (Black Tentacled)
+1 Merseiel (Octopus Attack)
+1 Merseiel (Hidden Beast Tentacle)
+1 Lini (Demon Horribleness in Demons Revisited)
Score Card
- Amiri - 1
- Balazaar - 1
- Damiel - 3
- Erzen - 1
- Kyra - 4
- Lem - 2
- Lini - 3
- Merseiel - 3
- Sajan - 1
- Valeros - 3
So far, Kyra is the Pathfinder Whipping Girl. Can we come up with more?
I'm not sure if I should count Droogami getting smacked by Pup Shape in Ultimate Campaign; its a temporary effect and Lini's reaction seems to be more of a facepalm. What do you guys think?
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WTF?? p.8 of Ultimate Magic has Meresiel being grabbed again by some sort of tentacled creature... Is this some sort of thing?
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Oooh! Lem has no mouth on p.97 of Ultimate Magic.
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Jeez... p.26 of Wake of the Watcher has Meresiel again getting wrapped up by
BTW, I am not into "tentacles on Merseiel.. Yeah!" or anything like that, these happen to be the three PF books that are closest to be right now. That's five artwork depictions of Meresiel involving tentacles... and I bet there's more.
Ultimate Combat, 241. Lini's animal familiar subjected to Pup Shape.
Amiri is getting speared through the leg on the cover of Dunegeons of Golarion by what looks like a Mohrg.
Lem is being abducted by Duergar on p.18 of Into the Darklands
I think your just having fun looking for merisiel pictures rak :)
Valeros is taking a Mimic tentacle to the face on p.22 of Dungeon Denizens Revisited.
Perhaps, but that's besides the point! ;)
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I'm not sure if I should count Droogami getting smacked by Pup Shape in Ultimate Campaign; its a temporary effect and Lini's reaction seems to be more of a facepalm. What do you guys think?
I don't think that counts. Being made cuter is not awful.
However, Droogami getting smacked down by an aboleth in Pathfinder #18 does.
Also, Harsk and Seelah getting hurt by a trap (that Valeros set off) in the Core Rulebook.
I don't think that counts. Being made cuter is not awful.I'm not sure if I should count Droogami getting smacked by Pup Shape in Ultimate Campaign; its a temporary effect and Lini's reaction seems to be more of a facepalm. What do you guys think?
Here's the description of what the spell does:
creating a young magical version of itself for a short period of
time. While in this form, the target has only 1 HD (maximum
hit points), and the target takes a –4 penalty to Strength,
Constitution, Intelligence and Wisdom (minimum 1). The
creature also gains a +4 size bonus to Dexterity and a +2
natural armor bonus.
Any nonevil creature that attempts to attack a creature
in this form must succeed at a Will saving throw (using
the DC of the spell) to overcome feelings of guilt and
protectiveness toward the young and innocent-seeming
creature. On a failed saving throw, it cannot follow through
with the attack, that part of the action is lost, and it can’t
directly attack the transformed creature for the duration
of the spell or until the spell’s target attacks it. This part of
the spell is a mind-affecting effect. Evil creatures have no
qualms about attacking the target of this spell, in fact, some
particularly heinous creatures might go out of their ways to
do the target harm.
It makes the animal cuter, weaker, and more attractive to evil creatures to attack.
And, I apologize for the delay on answering this. I was trying to track down the actual page.
Going through PF 1-24.. So far:
#3, p.39 Valeros getting grabbed by Black Magga
#5, p40 Valeros getting grabbed and carried away by an Alu-Demon
#6, p61 Valeros and Meresiel getting Meteor Swarmed by karzoug
#9, p.59 Seelah getting grabbed by a
#10, p38. Harsk is getting grabbed by Havero tentacles but doesn't really look worried, so I don't think it should count.
#11, p50 Ezren is getting Soul sucked by a
#11, p39 Lem is wrapped up in chains by the
#12 p.68 Meresiel is being wrapped up by a Couatl that is forming from a Harrow card she is throwing.
#12 p.37 Ezren is being man-handled by the
#15 p.22 Droogami getting ripped into by a Dretch
#16 p.47 Lini is either dead or unconcious beneath the girth of a
#17 p.23 Amirri is subjected to Wail of the Banshee (literally).
#18 p.19 The
I don't think that counts. Being made cuter is not awful.I'm not sure if I should count Droogami getting smacked by Pup Shape in Ultimate Campaign; its a temporary effect and Lini's reaction seems to be more of a facepalm. What do you guys think?
Here's the description of what the spell does:
** spoiler omitted **
It makes the animal cuter, weaker, and more attractive to evil creatures to attack.
And, I apologize for the delay on answering this. I was trying to track down the actual page.
I get that it's a spell like baleful polymorph. I mean that Droogami is prancing around and there is no danger in the picture. If he were being shrunken away by an evil spellcaster mid-battle, than that would be a problem.
AP 18-24
#20, p.46 Valeros is being wrapped up by The Waiting Beast. Meresiel, who is in the same picture but not being grabbed by tentacles, debunks my entire theory.
#20, p.37 Ezren is on the receiving end of a charge from Thkot Tal.
#21, p.47 Looks like a TPK, with the Emkrah wrapping up Ezren and Valeros.
#23, p.42 Ezren is being carried off by a Giant Dragonfly
#23, Cover Art. Valeros is being Crushed by a Red Dragon
#24, p.31 Kyra and Meresiel are subjected to a Vrock's dance of Ruin
#24, p.6 Valeros is either being petrified or electrified by a Retriever.
Gonna hold off a little before I go through Council of Thieves and Carrion Crown.
The ones I list are all pictures where the monster clearly has the advantage and is doing bad things to the heroes in quesrion. There's a lot of other artwork where the bad guys are doing their thing but the heroes are holding their own. These are the pictures where this is not the case.
There's only been two TPK-like ones so far in 1-24, Karzoug and the Emkrah. Maybe more points for multi-kills?
Moving on...
GameMastery Guide, pages 22-23: Valeros knocked down by a dragon.
GameMastery Guide, page 67: Lem dead from arrows.
GameMastery Guide, pages 78-79: Merisiel getting grabbed by vines.
GameMastery Guide, page 104: Sajan grabbed by tentacles
Ultimate Equipment page 54-55: Valeros caught in Damiel's AOE ice effect.
Ultimate Equipment page 204-205: Seelah knocked prone by big metallic crab thingie.
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Maybe Merisiel's Escape Artist is so good that she lets the monsters grab her just once, just so they don't feel bad about their abilities.
If I had the books with me, I could list all the Valeros beatdowns.