[Spoilers] Funny Rise of the Runelords Moments

Rise of the Runelords

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On another Vinder note...

I have a party of a Cleric, Fighter, Alchemist, and Oracle.

Major Foxglove Manor Plot Spoilers:

My group just recently made it to the Misgivings. All my party members are male, so I wanted to spice things up a bit. I decided to have Shayliss Vinder show up wanting to come with them because she 'convinced' one of the guards to tell her where the PCs were going. She meets them outside the manor and says she is coming to get revenge on her sister's killer. No one in the party tries to stop her, so I'm controlling a level 1 Shayliss Vinder.

The alchemist sets off the fire trap and falls unconscious. The Cleric, who Aldern is obsessed with is attacked by the scarf, falls unconscious and I make a twist to where he believes he is Iesha for the rest of the 'night.' I also decided to make Aldern question his sexuality after the affair, so I am following the lust path. I hope they find Aldern this night.

The alchemist then goes to the Worried Wife haunt and believes the Oracle is his child, they head outside to fight the Carrion Storms. Shayliss does 2 damage to a swarm, killing it. Shayliss Vinder saved the Oracle's life.

They then go back inside the manor. The Cleric slaps Shayliss in the face for being so 'slutty' looking. This causes the Oracle to take Shayliss with the Fighter upstairs because the Cleric is acting funny. Yes, they split the party.

The Cleric and the Alchemist decide to go to the basement, fighting the swarm rats. Well, the Cleric ignored the rats, but the Alchemist had to fight them with his bombs.

The Oracle was hoping to get some 'personal time' with Shayliss, so they go upstairs to the bedroom with the face scratching haunt with the Fighter. I gave festering to Shayliss. She starts clawing her face, being first in the initiative. The fighter goes next, deciding to knock her out with non lethal damage. Non lethal damage... with his +1 Great sword. He ends up criting damage, but chooses to not confirm. He still does 21 damage to a mere 7 health Shayliss Vinder, killing her with the hilt of his sword to the back of her head. The Oracle saw all of this. He's Chaotic Good. The Fighter is Chaotic Neutral. That's where I ended the session.

At least Ven doesn't have to worry about his daughters anymore... Now what am I going to do about the Misogynistic Rage haunt? Oh well...

Where I found Shayliss' stats

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The party has killed all the Glassworks goblins, and they descend to the Smuggler's tunnels. The cleric goes first, and looks down the corner.

Cleric: What do I see? *rolls perception and fails again T's stealth'.
Me: You look down the corridor and see nothing.
Cleric: I'm a dwarf, I've got dark-vision!
M: Well, you look down the corridor. It's dark, and you see nothing.
C: I don't see anything?!??!?! It's magical darkness!!!
M: No, I mean...
M: ... I mean that you see it's emp...
M: I give up.

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook Subscriber

My group is currently going through the Graul Homestead right now. The halfling cleric was about ready to torch the place when she saw the kitchen. She insisted the group go in through the living room instead... so I decided when they got into the dining room to require Fortitude Saves which they skipped by not going into the kitchen.

The halfling promptly failed. ^^;; And fled outside to throw up.

Her Cohort handled the combat for her (not that they needed a cleric - the Graul "kids" were useless, especially after one was hit with Hideous Laughter), but when they moved back to the bedroom where Mammy was located, the halfling wandered back in.

As the group was fighting Mammy (who I beefed up to a level 10 Necromancer - didn't do her any good, she didn't hurt the group once, her Mirror Image lasted two rounds, her Displacement was Dispelled, and she failed her Concentration check for the crucial Dimension Door spell), the Halfling caught one glimpse of her... and ran off shouting "No! No no no no no!" =^-^=

Even more amusing was the response of the Irrisen Ice Sorceress "Remind me never to invite Marjoram back to my home country..." :D (Lady Sasha is good-aligned and fled Irrisen when her cousins tried to kill her, but isn't horrified by some truly sick things she's seen because she's already seen worse.)

My players have discovered M's prison. They have absolutely no idea what they are dealing with. I expect a very long and tiresome fight, and it's already late so I want to finish the session.

Me- OK, guys, we should stop here and continue next session.
Everyone- Nooooooooo!!! Just this fight!!!! It'll be quick, we promise.
Me- Guys, this is going to take more time that you think.
The cleric- I already buffed the bard, he has +2 to AC, and +1 to attack, and still have rounds of channeling and...
The bard- Yeah, and I have heroism, and allegro, and rounds of dance. *stands straight* This will be a piece of cake!!!
Me- OK. 43, 42 and 38 against your AC?
The bard- *suddenly becomes pale and silent* Drag me out. Drag me out and run!!!!

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I used Shayliss as a Red Herring to a bigger extent for the Skinsaw Murders, I created a long hunt for the Sandpoint Devil between Burnt Offerings and Skinsaw murders that took the PCs away for 3 months. Upon their return they walked into the murders and Shayliss had run away from home in that time, truth of it being that she was pregnant due to relations with one of the PCs and she was trying to escape her father's anger. When she was eventually found he offered to marry her and I decided to set the wedding at the start of Book 4 so that the raid would take place during the wedding.

One of our Player's on their way out of Foxglove Manor decided to take the Skinsaw man's corpse with him and got a Taxidermist to stuff it. At the wedding he casually set it in one of the chairs and when the PC getting married noticed it (He was also the Obsession and was not impressed with all the erotic art.) He charged off stage and destroyed it. Moments later the attack started and all he could do was exclaim "NOW WHAT!??"

Not quite part of the AP, but my players insisted on about a dozen post-AP sessions where they cleaned up the politics around Sandpoint, Magnimar, and Varisia in general.

During the course of this they got two mythic tiers; one for defeating Karzoug and one for defeating Black Magga.

So of course our psychotic gnome pyromancer just HAD to take "mythic disintegrate". Just because.

So post-AP they were tracking down the crimes of one Jubrayl Vhiski and learned that he had a lair in the Fatman's Feedbag. The paladin used Detect Evil to pinpoint his location behind the false wall and asked the sorcerer to remove said wall.

Yes, the sorcerer used a mythic Disintegrate. Yes, he fumbled his to-hit roll.

The Fatman's Feedbag is now missing significant portions of its superstructure.

(Unfortunately, the barbarian had a ring of Freedom of Movement and had no trouble retrieving Jubrayl from the wreckage...)

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Oh, and while I'm here (and I just did my handoff at work), did any other GMs have significant issues with the trolls "hiding among the vines" at Skull's Crossing?

Check your Bestiaries, folks. Trolls have a natural Stealth roll of -2 (+2 DEX, -4 size). So when my wily trolls rolled 4, 7, 6, 2 on their Stealth checks, the party wandered in to see four trolls standing there, quite obvious, with their heads enshrouded in vines.

Not exactly sneaky, though the party did have trouble stopping giggling long enough to dispatch them.

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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

Sharktopus. It became the barbarian's catchphrase.

When my party was looking for rumors about Thistletop, I had them talk to two old sailors who had once tried to fish around there. One of the fishermen had spotted the bunyip that lives near there, and had assumed it was the Sandpoint Devil. He described the bunyip fairly accurately. To which the barbarian replied, "Wait, that's not the Sandpoint Devil-- that's a sharktopus!"

Later, when the PCs actually attacked Thistletop, the barbarian got dropped off the rope bridge into the water. I deiced that the bunyip would come around and take one attack, then swim off. When that happened, the player shouted, "Holy sh*t! There really is a sharktopus!"

Later, when the PCs explored the bunyip's lair, and ultimately killed it in one round, the barbarian exclaimed, "Man, that sharktopus was a sharktopussy!"

Several sessions later, when the PCs were playing tourists in Magnimar (during the course of The Skinsaw Murders), they paid an impromptu visit to the Aquaretum. One of the exhibits on display was a stuffed bunyip, labeled properly. The barbarian called over the proprietor and explained, "Hey-- you've got the wrong label on your sharktopus!" A long argument ensued between the barbarian and the gnome, and the PCs were finally asked to leave. On the way out, the barbarian exclaimed, "I can't believe we're getting kicked out because of a stupid sharktopus!"

And, finally, when the PCs fought Black Magga, the Barbarian exclaimed, "Holy sh*t! That's the biggest freakin' sharktopus I've ever seen!"

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Skinsaw Murders turn into naked streaking


While investigating the skinsaw murders the PCs discovered that most of them had occurred near water ways, they began entering all the premises on the outer edge of the town and by dumb luck bumbled into the Scarni guild house.

The front operative none too please with their uninvited entrance and demanded they leave immediately. Quickly suspicious the PCs demanded they be let into the back rooms, the Scarni operative at this point began swearing and telling them to leave the establishment as it was none of their business.

Offering them a chance I asked them to roll a knowledge local, to which the ninja answered with a natural 1. The Wizard thought torture would be the best option and cast one of the necromatic pain spells on the operative and the party tried to force their way into the back rooms. Upon hearing the commotion out front many heavily armed thugs poured out of the woodwork and the party realised they had made some very poor choices.

The Scarni supervisor offered them the chance to leave with their lives as long as they paid a 1000 gp fee but being the cheap skates they were, the wizard threw out a burning hands spell and set fire to the guild house, letting them escape in the confusion.

After a short period of hiding where the ninja hid in a bin, the wizard in a barrel of water and the Samurai in a bale of hay, they eventually regrouped and began asking the folks of Sandpoint about the Scarni. They quickly pieced together how how much of the town the Scarni owned and how dangerously influential they were. The PCs waited till cover of dark and only moved at night to avoid being spotted. While updating the Sheriff on their investigation, the Sheriff revealed that he had heard about 1000 gp bounties being placed on each of their heads.

Forced to lie low and increasingly paranoid about assassins they decided the best place to sleep was sleeping in the town crypts. The wizard ended up catching a disease in the poor conditions, they continued sneaking around town for a period until they decided it was best to offer tribute to the Scarni. Through the Sheriff they were able to meet Titus Scarnetti and they paid a sizable sum in gold to remove their bounties, with further punishment Titus ordered them to run around the town naked for an hour to learn humility.

I asked the negotiator (the ninja) to roll 1d6 to measure the decreased amount of respect the town had for them and this number would be subtracted from their diplomacy/intimidate checks inside the town, he rolled a 6.

I haven't laughed so hard in one session before.

Deadalready wrote:

Skinsaw Murders turn into naked streaking

** spoiler omitted **...

My absolute favorite part of this is the juxtaposition between our groups. A bunch of 4th-level PCs throwing out a Burning Hands and running away isn't *quite* the same intimidation factor as a group of 18/2 PCs throwing a mythic Disintegrate and asking, "Any arguments?"

Guess it depends on when your PCs want to start digging into Sandpoint's soft white underbelly...

At Thistletop:
When I was describing Bruthazmus's room to the group and I mentioned all the bird feet in a pile, the Rogue PC became fascinated with them.

The player rolled and said, "I got a 18 on Knowledge: Bird Feet. What can I tell?"
I admit, I wasn't paying him as much attention as I could have, since that player is a easily distracted. I responded with, "With an 18 you can tell..... Wait. Did you say Knowledge: bird feet?!?" Needless to say, by starting to answer his question the rest of the group got a hearty chuckle and at least once a session now someone will roll a "knowledge: bird feet check" at an innappropriate time.

Also, our group's Ranger recently played wingman to get the Paladin laid, because she was grumpy and he thought it would cheer her up. But that's a different story altogether.

I feel your pain. In Runequest, where EVERYTHING is a skill that can be learned, one player declared that he was taking, "The Art of Love".

Cue two friggin' YEARS of GM'ing dozens if not hundreds of PCs, ALL seeking training and practice in "The Art of Love".

At least Knowledge: Bird Feet is pretty darned funny!

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

After a quick aside where my party solved a rash of murders targeting Sarenrite priests, they got back to the main plot, and visited Foxglove Manor. They remembered they had the hat of disguise and briefly thought about disguising themselves as Aldern before going in. They didn't, but it would have been amazing if they had, for obvious reasons!

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

This one already appeared in the obituaries, but I think that it bears repeating just once more. It falls under the categories of "the best-laid plans of players and PCs" and "he had no chance whatsoever" ... and caused considerable amusement after the fact.

Tsuto had escaped the party under the Glassworks, and as a result had scarpered off to Thistletop to join Nualia's group there. Later, the party went over the bridge to Thistletop - but without discovering or triggering the trap.

They found Tsuto, managed to reduce him to negative hp, and took him prisoner. He was stablised (but still not conscious), bound, and gagged. There being a paladin in the party, of course Tsuto was going to be brought to trial in Sandpoint on various charges of treason, murder, battery, arson, etc. ... only things didn't exactly go as planned.

On the way back over the bridge, the party managed to trigger the bridge trap. Orik, who had given his parole and been told to carry the unconscious Tsuto, did not make his save. They fall. Orik had the hp to survive, but Tsuto - bound, gagged, and still very unconscious - had no chance whatsoever. He was dead on impact. And then the bunyip realised that lunch was served just outside its front door, with the result that there was nothing even to bring home to Ameiko for burial. No trial for Tsuto! :)

As many of you know, my players have quite a temper each. Last session, they were arguing about some shenanigans (after the 13th argument about lunch schedule I just stop listening), when I suddenly hear:

Sorcerer: ...you just can't go in there and tell them what to do!! He's the Sheriff!! I mean, his work is to keep the town safe, what do you do for a living?
Cleric: *says proudly* I'm the hero of Sandpoint.

I could only chuckle, I mean, there's a chapter named after it, you can't argue with that xD

Misroi wrote:
After a quick aside where my party solved a rash of murders targeting Sarenrite priests, they got back to the main plot, and visited Foxglove Manor. They remembered they had the hat of disguise and briefly thought about disguising themselves as Aldern before going in. They didn't, but it would have been amazing if they had, for obvious reasons!

My rogue tried that bit when they used the key to get into Foxglove's Townhouse in Magnimar.

Rogue's player: "I use my hat of disguise to look like Aldern when we approach the house, and use the key to open the door." (Party all stomps inside, making a good amount of racket.)

Aldern-Stalker: (from further in the house) "Was that the door? Wentworth, be a good man and check it out."

Rogue's player: "Ah! I'm not Foxglove! I'm not Foxglove!"

The PCs referring to themselves as "The Heroes of Sandpoint" has been a bit of a running gag in my game, with the socially-inept Alchemist frequently adding "And Magnimar, and Turtleback Ferry, and The Shimmerglens!"

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Erylium had escaped the Catacombs of Chaos, and after a party wipe at Thistletop a new party was recruited by Belor to find out what had happened to the previous adventurers.

No one on the top level had survived the past adventurers, so I decided Bruthamus and Erylium would be protecting the top, with the idea to use Erylium as a surprise Command: Approach over the wooden bridge.

The not quite yet Swordlord crosses the bridge, feeling a strange urge to step into the rain, he shrugs this off and continues his way across, not paying any attention to it.

The sorcerer of the party casually crosses afterwards, casting hideous laughter on the tiny demon in the rain, she drops 500ft and drowns in one spell. I just had my jaw open in shock, Erylium had very nearly party wiped the original party before hand.

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OK, this was today.

We ran a couple of sidequests before running the catacombs/Erylium encounter so the PCs were getting used to the Sihedron symbol and go to ask Brodert about it. He tells them about the 7 runelords and the 7 sins.

Griffon-head Jack (PC under a curse, built as a reskinned bat skinwalker) says "So, they're like the seven dwarves of sin?"

Dark Archive

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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Yep. Greedy, Envy, Gluttony, Angry, Sexy, Lazy and Vainy.

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook Subscriber

Not so much a funny moment but still a Crowning Moment of Awesome for my group.

After having finally killed Lucrecia (using Locate Creature and burning a Hero Point to drive it home), they found her List. Included was the name of a certain Black Arrow who had betrayed his companions.

Sadly, it was late and we'd gone through a three-hour combat (Lucrecia and two Frightened Ogre Fighters (who suffered from a truly impressive Intimidate check using a certain head, but were told by Lucrecia that if they fled, she would find them and make them wish they'd died fighting) so they weren't quite on the ball. Thus they were trying to find out what Lucrecia had circled his name. I decided to have a 2 in 6 chance of the Black Arrows realizing he'd betrayed them. And a 2 came up.

So the group is talking about smuggling and the like (because of Greed) when suddenly the leader of the Black Arrows goes "You betrayed us!" and grabbed him. They start dragging him out and half the group is ready to cheer them on, while the loud-mouthed womanizer with the Chaotic Neutral alignment is urging that they need to keep him alive.

That's when the GMPC realized what he was trying to say, and simply said "everyone deserves a chance at redemption." The halfling cleric, who is redeeming herself from her past before becoming a priestess (before the game started), and the sorceress from Irrisen (who's part of Queen Elvanna's clan actually and fled because she wasn't evil) and who feels she needs to redeem herself for the actions of her heritage, suddenly went "we can't let him die."

So they went the route of Exile. Further, they are exiling the ex-Black Arrow... to Sandpoint, where he will be assigned to the Sandpoint Guard under Sheriff Hemlock.

Most interesting indeed.

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Made a thread of this, now realize I should have put it here, my bad.

This was one of the best coincidences our group has ever had.

We had just retaken the fort and, per our nonlethal views, captured Lucrecia. I, the monk, had been given the Boots of the Mire by the Paladin.

Unfortunately, I had suffered a wis drain of 12(1d4+10) from Lucrecia's wis drain spell, (realized two sessions later that it was a typo).

Lucrecia managed to Dimension Door out of the fort jail cells right infront of the pally.
Our summoner, by a crit arcane check, knew she was within a few hundred feet. Our paladin jumped to the conclusion that she was headed for the town to kill innocents. He ran out to me (I having been told to stay away from the bad snake lady because I was super gullible with my low wis) and told me we had to get to town ASAP.

Taking that LITERALLY, I ran full throttle right out of the fort, past the horses, all the way to the town. It being raining and starting to minorly flood, the Boots of the Mire kept me above the water, prevented any hindrance due to mud. I ALSO had taken Endurance as a feat back a few levels, so I passed all the fort rolls to sprint the entire distance back to town.

I arrived on scene 20 rounds before the rest of the party, just in time to save the boat of children and KO the Boa. IC I said, "Sarenrae must have smiled on us this day."

The table couldn't stop laughing. In Character it all seemed as if the Pally's God had interceded and guided him to the one course of actions that would put someone at Turtleback Ferry in time to save the people.

Of course, after that I was instantly KOed by the Black Magga's 1d6 wis damage breath and nearly drowned, but at least I saved the kids.

My parties Barbarian and Paladin were having trouble deciding whole would go first down each dark hallway, or who would touch a door first. First they were doing Rock paper scissors out of game, they they decided to in game invent Parchment, Boulder, Shears. Now any time they have to open a door, the barbarian and paladin stop, and do it.

It's also spread to our other games, and they even did it during some games at Gencon.

At the Seven's Sawmill, the party casts spider climb and fly and gets on top the sawmill and enters through the rookery. It takes them 3 rounds to open the trapdoor and the top level enemies are waiting and prepared. When they come into the top level of the mill, I describe the scene and note the 1 foot of sawdust on the floor. I note later in the battle that the sawdust is being stirred up and causing a cloud of dust. As more enemies arrive, the alchemist decides he can get 6 of them in a single bomb and so throws the explosive item. That sets off a fuel/air chain reaction that kills everyone enemy in the room, severely damaged the mill, and almost killed the alchemist that started the explosion (-12 hp w/13 con).

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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook Subscriber

After the group gained their 2nd Mythic Tier by battling Black Magga on the top of Skull Crossing (as the dam slowly cracked and threatened to break), the group travels into the dam to find a way to open the floodgates and prevent catastrophic failure (and the deaths of hundreds of marked individuals).

The group used Diplomacy to get past the trolls (seriously, rolled high enough to get the trolls from hostile to helpful in one fell swoop - that sorceress is deadly with the spoken word!) and past Papa down below. But when they opened the door to the Skulltaker construct? The Barbarian promptly failed his saving throw (despite being under the effect of Bless and Bardic Song) and fled.

Mind you. This barbarian went toe-to-toe with Black Magga, after she had wiped the floor with 16 ogres and one ogre fighter. But he not only failed his save... but he promptly failed it a SECOND time next round.

Finally the Sorceress had had enough and decided to use Telekinetic Charge to throw the Barbarian into combat. It worked... but the skull-scorpion promptly grappled him (and then succeeded in grappling the arcane trickster/swashbuckler who was engaging it successfully by herself).

So yeah. Big bad half-orc barbarian who stood up to Black Magga... was scared of a skull-covered scorpion construct. ^^;;

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

this has nothing to do with Runelords but i'm throwing it here any way:)
so this morning my wife was making pancakes with our daughter, our son Milo who is 3 find the marble tower crate in the closet and wants to build a sky scraper, so i go to the bathroom when i come out Milo says super proud "i built a sky scraper!" the issue? all the marble tower pieces are accounted for and i see no sky scraper, so i ask, afraid to know the answer "wh-Where did you build it and what did you use to build it? his answer, still with that proud smile "in the computer, with quarters" yep he filled the dsc slot on our Mac with change:(
thankfully we have the applecare or whatever and they were super nice and will be covered, still not the best way to start a saturday:)

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook Subscriber

There were a few fun moments as the gang assaulted Hook Mountain (and chatted it up with an undead faerie beforehand), including the Sorceress using Menacing Presence to freak out the targets of her Strangling Hair (double-checked the rules and found the targets can still attack enemies, just at a penalty, so the spell isn't quite as nasty now - add in Intimidate though and they don't do so well) and a crowning moment of "whoa" when the NPC Arcane Trickster/Swashbuckler tried to parry a Natural 20 (I have criticals auto-confirm but only do full damage multiplied by the critical modifier). The roll was not enough... until a Mythic Surge was used and a natural 6 was rolled.

Yes, the sneakthief managed to parry a natural 20. I looked in the rules and there was nothing in it that said it would not work - all she needed to do is roll above what was rolled.

A second natural 20 against the sneakthief was eaten by her Mirror Image.

The funniest moment though was out-of-character when the player running the bard/cleric saw the icon for the hill giant. "Oh my god, is that a bellydancing ogre? Kill it! Kill it!"

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xF18Z3IxStc/UlNRGPYbdqI/AAAAAAAABA8/fyWwMejSXgs/s 1600/Hill+Giant.jpg

Yeah, I needed a minute to recover from that one. :)

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Just had a wonderfully amusing encounter yesterday with my group.

It would have been horrific, had it not been for the fact that everything turned out okay.

Scene: Chapter 3, part 2 -- Retaking Rannick

Party members: Tiefling barbarian, kitsune oracle, kobold alchemist, nightmare bard (still regretting allowing that), and kobold wizard.

My party's been pretty handily dispatching encounters left and right without even feeling like they were at risk... so I made the fights upstairs in Rannick a bit tougher. Sorceress ogre lady had an alarm spell warding her room, set to trigger if any non-ogres entered, and it went off when the party tried to send Jakardros in to coup-de-grace her and her sleeping ogre-incest-lover-thing. Jaagrath and the ogres in the other room quickly responded, so the fight had things coming at them from all sides.

Barbarian drank a displacement potion the alchemist handed him, which saved him from not one, but TWO crits from Jaagrath's ogre-hook.

Fight ended up with the barbarian holding off Jaagrath, the alchemist bombing the crap out of the two ogres from the side room, and Jakardros wrecking Dorella and her lover's evenings. Dorella managed to get off a few good casts though: targeted the wizard, oracle, and barbarian with a confusion spell.

Barbarian passed, wizard and oracle failed.

Next round, she targeted the alchemist, jakardros, and barbarian. Alchemist passed, barbarian passed, jakardros failed.

Next round, she targeted the barbarian and bard. Bard failed.

During this, the confused folk spent a couple rounds slapping each other or babbling incoherently. Then, the kobold wizard rolled over 75 on the confusion table, and slapped the oracle. I then realized "Any confused character who is attacked automatically attacks its attackers on its next turn, as long as it is still confused when its turn comes."

Cue b~@$#-slap fight between the kitsune and kobold, both dealing 1d4 nonlethal damage to each other each round.

Jakardros (who already hated the nightmare bard) rolled similarly, and because the bard was right there next to him, he turned, backed up, and fired a volley of arrows at the nightmare. The nightmare then began countering by attacking him.

Meanwhile, the sorceress got a deep slumber off on the alchemist.

Barbarian finishes off Jaagrath, sees all of his teammates asleep or slapping each other. Raging, he ran down into the sorceress's room, activating his celestial totem's invisibility purge to find the now invisible ogre, and promptly beheaded her.

Realising the nightmare and Jakardros were liable to kill each other before their confusion wore off, he slapped them each in turn, then took a few rounds total defense action while the confusion wore off.

Finally, when everything cleared, everybody looked around... and I think decided to never speak of the incident again.

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook Subscriber

So the game descended into a slap fight. oO


I have no words.

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Tangent101 wrote:

So the game descended into a slap fight. oO


I have no words.

"Moe! Larry! Cheese!"

Yep. A slap fight between a magical fox-man and a magical runty lizard-thing, no less! While there were big scary ogres in the other rooms smashing the other adventurers' faces in!

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Running this on the Dragonlance Forums (just about to go through the Misgivings). One of my players is a snarky, wise-cracking Fighter (Archer archetype).

He enteres the dark lobby of the glassworks, takes a cursory look around, and then shouts into the dark, empty building:

"Hello?! Local heroes here to meddle in your affairs!"

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Superball wrote:

Running this on the Dragonlance Forums (just about to go through the Misgivings). One of my players is a snarky, wise-cracking Fighter (Archer archetype).

He enteres the dark lobby of the glassworks, takes a cursory look around, and then shouts into the dark, empty building:

"Hello?! Local heroes here to meddle in your affairs!"

I am so stealing that.

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook Subscriber

This was actually written up by the player of Tongs when he realized I'd not be able to write this up due to time constraints. I'm sharing it with little modification.


It was perhaps the strangest, and funniest, round of Skype play in quite some time.

A fight with a series of ogres began in earnest when our Irrisen sorceress Lady Sasha cut off half the ogre force in the forge with a wall of ice. That split the force in two, and allowed a fireball from the misanthropic blacksmith Tongs to cut down the weakened force. A series of attacks later from our halfling singing nun Marjoram and our massive half-orc barbarian Lucien--as well as the new and greatly improved swashbuckling thief Essanne--to destroy the ogre force.

Soon, the group found itself in the company of three hags, and this is where the evening took its biggest twist and went mostly off the rails for the rest of the evening. I decided that, instead of fighting the three hags, Tongs would recognize one of them from his brothel days, and soon enough, Tongs was reacquainted with "Three-Copper", who he recognized. The group chatted amiably, and the group was pointed in the direction of its next fight, with the undead archer who was the undead fairy's lover. A hail of frozen arrows greeted the group before it could even react, and the blacksmith took exception following a comment from the singing nun that his "perpetual erection" was in jeopardy, what with all that cold.

This opened an entire pony keg of worms, as the blacksmith then took "For the glory of my perpetual erection" as his battle cry for much of the rest of the evening, and soon, the group defeated the archer. Tasked to return a portion of the archer's anatomy for resurrection--something as small as a finger--Tongs then decided that, what was put in jeopardy on him was now to be removed from the archer. So after a forcible and thorough...unmanning...the group carried on to the next bout between the group and the return of Xanesha, stone giant, and stone giant wizard.

The fight began reasonably enough, with magic flying from both sides and Lady Sasha strangling the stone giant with her hair. That was when I introduced the mirror dodge mythic ability, allowing Xanesha to easily shunt around the field, hopefully providing the opportunity for her to do damage later.

That was when that bastard blacksmith--literally and figuratively--Tongs shut down the dimensional aspect with a shot of Dimensional Anchor. That opened up a host of problems as Marjoram then summoned a set of archon hounds and a spiritual ally. Xanesha took off flying...but so did the archon pack. Ball lightning from Lady Sasha--along with that strangling hair after the giant went down--only compounded the problem, and soon, I lost a perfectly good recurring villain.

The group turned its attention to the stone giant next, as Lucien had been laying into it for some time, though took plenty of damage at the hands of the thing's massive Earth breaker. But brought low, and kept alive only by the force of a magic item, the wizard subsequently surrendered. The blacksmith, meanwhile, ran the distance of several hundred feet to scream that Sense Motives and such should be embarked upon. The nun stepped in to "detect b+&++%*+," and discovered that the wizard wasn't lying. Lady Sasha stepped in to intimidate--she has massive intimidate capabilities--and learned the plans the stone giant wizard was a part of.

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The party is figthing Xanesha and the wizard - a conjuration specialist - is having a hard go of it. He has summoned a couple lantern archons and they can't hit the broad side of a barn. For three rounds, the archons can't hit her with their rays and he can't do anything against her SR. He rolls a lot of 2's. Not all of course, but several.

In spite of this ineffectiveness, the party manages to drive her off. She turns invisible and tries to trick them into thinking she's fled. The party scampers about the tower while she hides among the bells. It might have worked but the wizard pulls out a scroll of See Invisibility and spots her. She knows he's a wizard and will saves aren't likely to be a weakness but she doesn't have a much left so she hits him with Charm Monster. He rolls his saving throw and of course the roll is a... 2.

The cleric's player says with a high level of annoyance - "Just how many two's are in that piece of @#$%?" To which the fighter player responds - "There are an infinite number of 2's in that piece of @#$%."

Much chuckling ensues. The rest isn't so much amusing as it is clever. Xanesha speaks softly to the wizard in Thassilonian which only the two of them speak and encourages him to tell his friends she has fled to the roof. He does so. The fighter is closest to the wizard but he doesn't really hear what's said but something seems fishy. I tell the wizard player that he needs to treat her as important a friend as everyone else and since she wants to escapte, he should help her. So he pulls out his wand of haste and casts it on her.

Now the jig is up. The wizard only has two wands and the fighter knows it wasn't magic missile that just went off. The pc's now act as if the wizard is compromised and refuse to believe Xanesha has fled. For her part, being hasted changes her attitude. The pc's are strung out along the stairs inside the tower (from chasing up and down looking for her.) She moves to near the cleric - who's been healing people left and right - if she can kill him, she might have a chance. The wizard in a tit-for-tat response, hastes his companions. She manages one full attack with the bonus attack from haste on the cleric, nearly killing him before she falls but the hasted fighter and bard are too much for her.

(Upon reflection she should have just flung herself onto the section of stairs near the cleric forcing both of them to plummet. She had featherfall and he didn't. But I didn't think of that until later.)

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This was Jade Regent, but set in Sandpoint with Rise of the Runelords NPCs, so I figure it counts.

Our new player, a man who HADN'T played through Rise of the Runelords, chose to play a dashing young male halfling bard. The others, being familiar with RotRL, were playing locals. Showing him around town, they first took him to the Hagfish. He's hamming it up as a spendthrift wastrel of a son, so he had to borrow a silver piece from the catfolk summoner just to be able to try Norah's challenge.

Cue his first failed Will save so he couldn't even swallow the first swig. Not to be outdone by a simple fish (worshipper of Cayden Cailean and all), he next tried to chugalug the entire mug.

Cue decoration of the ceiling, searing cramps, and a crippled, nauseated halfling. The summoner quipped, "Well, THAT was worth a silver piece."
(And for those of you who've seen "The Emperor's New Groove", she's doing a magnificent Yzma for her voice, so it was really quite amusing.)

Later, they took him by the Rusty Dragon, where I emphasized Bethana's interest, age (I put her at around 60), less-than-stellar appearance, and interest. Not being able to find "anyone better" as he so delicately put it, he took the plunge, kept the lights out, and tried to sneak out in the morning.

As he rejoined the group, he asked, "Aren't there any really rich single women in this town?"
The paladin, in an act he will atone for for quite a while, said, "Yes. Don't you remember meeting her last night?"
"She's rich?"
"One of the richest nobles in Sandpoint!"
"Can I borrow a gold piece?"

The summoner was more than happy to lend him a gold piece and follow him first to the marketplace where he bought a magnificent bouquet, and then to the Rusty Dragon, where he made a spectacular Bluff roll (22, I believe) to convince Bethana that the only reason he'd snuck out in the morning was to buy her these wonderful flowers.

Bethana, ecstatic, showed the bouquet to Ameiko, who promptly said, "Why don't you take the rest of the day off to be with your new friend?"

The look on the player's face was absolutely indescribable as he realized that Ameiko was the rich noble. As the player turned red and then purple trying to think of a way to talk himself out of this one, everyone else at the table completely lost it.

The summoner? "THAT was worth a gold piece!"

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
NobodysHome wrote:
(And for those of you who've seen "The Emperor's New Groove", she's doing a magnificent Yzma for her voice, so it was really quite amusing.)

i love that movie!

its stories like these that make me wish they had more on sand point in Jade Regent, i didn't have rune lords then so we missed out on a lot of fun, however they recruited
Chief Gutwad and the We Be Goblins entourage into our caravan "King Gutwad and his Fire Breathing Acrobats"
so it all worked out in the end i guess:) still, it would've been nice to have more:)
and i do a spot on Kronk:)

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Just ran my group through foxglove manor on Saturday and they were having fun with the haunts. The paladin being immune to everything in there asked if he could make a will save. I had to respond with "Be my guest, be me guest, put your will save to the test." This led to my one player enjoying himself a bit to much and came up with this song after foxglove manor. To say the least the song goes to the song "Be our Guest"

Spolied it for page space.

The Song:

"Be our guest! Be our guest!
Put your will saves to the test!
Tie your scarf around your neck, Pally
Axfixiation does rest!
Through the floor, unholy surge,
Why, we only live to purge
Try the grey stuff, it's malicious!
Don't believe me? Ask the liches!
She can sing, she can dance
She’ll force you ‘til you collapse
And a haunting here is never second best
Go on, unfold your clue
Then kill a ghoul or two,
Be our guest, Yes, our guest! Be our guest!
Mold and goo, hope and pray
You won’t survive another day
We'll infect with none to spare
all with the vilest villainy
You're alone, and you're scared
You should be, you’re unprepared
We’re all gloomy and we’re maiming
While the Hurter does the shaming.
We make knives, out of sticks
wield by ghosts, mysog’nistic
So hope your dice are fast,
or through the glass you'll crash
So be our guest
If your stressed, it's holy fire we suggest
Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest!"

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

That's fabulous! :D

I must steal that for some post-Foxglove Manor amusement when that particular session ends.

Much like the most recent story, mine comes from Book 2.

Your players will ALWAYS surprise you:
My party of six 6th level PCs has just gotten into Foxglove Manor and had their first taste of a haunt as the Ranger dances about. They quickly move on and discover the monkey-head alarm in the dining room. The sorcerer and shaman are only been able to determine that it has an abjuration aura to its enchantment, but not what it might do (not the best Spellcraft rolls). They did not test it by pulling the rope (this becomes important later). The rogue threw it into their bag of holding and they went on their merry way.

Fast forward to the caverns below where they have attempted to follow Iesha. Not having seen where she went, they meander forward from the stairs. The warpriest, sorcerer, and shaman go left towards the "bat cave", while the Paladin, Rogue, and Ranger go up the middle path toward the first ghoul pack. I've kept them in initiative rounds as they chased Iesha, and they trip combats in the same round for both groups. The Sorc and Warpriest quickly hem the bat into a tight spot and are wailing on it, while the Shaman throws Hexes. As I have a large party, I end up adding hp and numbers on most fights, so the other group is currently facing 6 ghouls; the Paladin is out of LoH uses for the day, so no mass damage by channeling.

Enter our "ever so unpredictable Rogue".... Not having a clear path to get at the ghouls as the Ranger and Paladin engage them (d*&#@ tight quarters in underground caves), he decides they could use some help. The sorcerer had said that abjuration spells are usually protective spells of some type, so he decides to pull the monkey-head out and pull the chain to see what it does.

[I should note, the rest of the group is looking at him like he has 2 heads. Everyone else sees the severity of being split apart and in combat by capable opponents.]

He pulls the chain. A clanging sound, "like a dinner bell being loudly rang," emanates from the mouth of the monkey. The Paladin and Ranger swear at the Rogue, while the rest of the party wonders why they hear ringing bells. The second pack of ghouls though - they hear the dinner bell a ringing, and 5 more ghouls start heading their way.
It gets pretty tense as the trio are doing their best to dispatch the undead foes, even as they see more just waiting to move up to attack. After a little maneuvering to get into combat, the Rogue spent most of the fight being paralyzed by a ghoul, while the other two were in low double digit health and doing a remarkably good job of avoiding being paralyzed. Finally though, the cavalry has finished off the bat and arrives. The Warpriest finishes off the remaining ghouls with 2 channels and the party gets a moment to recover.

Needless to say, there was much criticism of our Rogue and he was threatened in various ways about not touching anything else. We'll resume our campaign next weekend, so we'll see if they hold him to that or not.

Never in my wildest plans of different ways those encounters would play out did I envision anything even remotely like that.

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Athos710 wrote:

Much like the most recent story, mine comes from Book 2.

** spoiler omitted **...

Perhaps you should mention to your players that there are two long-running threads on these boards: one for funny moments which they just (uncomfortably) qualified for and one for obituaries. The fastest way onto the other one is TO SPLIT THE PARTY.

Patient: "Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like that."
Doctor: "Don't move your arm like that."

Athos710 wrote:

Much like the most recent story, mine comes from Book 2.

** spoiler omitted **...

Oh, and I forgot to mention... From a DM perspective, that is totally hilarious.

The Exchange

Latrecis wrote:
Athos710 wrote:

Much like the most recent story, mine comes from Book 2.

** spoiler omitted **...

Perhaps you should mention to your players that there are two long-running threads on these boards: one for funny moments which they just (uncomfortably) qualified for and one for obituaries. The fastest way onto the other one is TO SPLIT THE PARTY.

Patient: "Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like that."
Doctor: "Don't move your arm like that."

I poke my nose in here from time to time with DM permission and have to admit that the split in the party here was my fault. I rushed ahead to the left expecting to be able to get ahead of the Revenant. I am playing a rather impetuous and young ifrit who is inclined to get himself in over his head just a bit; but even I knew better than to yank the chain on an unknown magic item. Doesn't Konnor have a ranged weapon?

Note to oh glorious GM; remind me not to give Konnor any more information on any magic items until I confirm that they are safe for the Lord of Chaos to handle.

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We're almost at the end of Book 4, but the standout moment of the campaign so far came all the way back in the second session:

The party had routed the goblins in their attack on the town, and in investigating the corpses of the attackers, they noticed that some of the goblin gear seemed to have been salvaged from the town's own garbage. Two characters, an irresponsible rogue and a dissolute and slightly mad ranger, got very drunk, failed to drink the hagfish water, and decided that the fact that the goblins were scavenging trash was a Highly Significant Clue. Therefore they wandered over to Junker's Edge and tried to climb down to inspect the dump.

The rogue made his roll with aplomb, despite the penalty for drunkenness, and made it to the ground.

The ranger, however, rolled a natural 1 for a total of about 5; he also made it to the ground, but only by means of losing his grasp on the cliff face, pinwheeling down the rocks, and landing in the surf at something like -6 hp. The rogue hauled him out of the surf but was faced with a rising tide that threatened to drown them both. I had the ranger's player make a d20 roll as a Luck Roll (thank you, Call of Cthulhu!) and he rolled a 1. Just as he was staring up the cliff, trying to figure out how to haul an unconscious 220-lb man up them, the Gorvi boys begin tossing the detritus of the previous day's celebration over the cliff...

The ranger's player is long gone from the campaign, but we who remain often look back in amusement. :-D

The Exchange

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Latrecis wrote:
Athos710 wrote:

Much like the most recent story, mine comes from Book 2.

** spoiler omitted **...

Perhaps you should mention to your players that there are two long-running threads on these boards: one for funny moments which they just (uncomfortably) qualified for and one for obituaries. The fastest way onto the other one is TO SPLIT THE PARTY.

Patient: "Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like that."
Doctor: "Don't move your arm like that."

We didn't split the party this time but...

I almost made the second thread today falling out the window of Misgivings. A critical hit by the weathervane saved my life by nearly killing me. When the party revived me for the second time (they knocked me back below 0 HP yanking me off the weathervane; which would have killed me if they'd yanked me off of it before the first of many cure light potions was applied) I promptly informed them of my intent to burn the place to the ground when we're done.

The party ranger is probably regretting climbing out on the roof to save me; since I think my character is still dating his sister. I say, "I think" because when we showed up at his family's home she freaked out when Qakisst walked in covered in about 3 pints of his own blood. Yay Sandpoint!

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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

While preparing for the party's first trip together to Magnimar in order to purchase magic items, I ran a magic item generator tool for settlements. Imagine my surprise/bemusement when - among the Major Items listed for sale - I found a set of Talons of Leng.

Now I'm imagining an exchange between two NPCs along the following lines ...

K: "Drat! Someone's emptied most of my treasury while I was 'away'! How am I supposed to pay for an invading army now?"

X: "Boss, I'm going to Magnimar anyway. Why don't you just let me hock those nifty nail extensions for you? They should bring in a pretty penny in such a large city."

K: *greed!*

(Several months later)

K: "Fools! How dare you attempt to attack me? I am immune to everything and shall destroy ... wait, are those my old talons that you've got on? ... D'oh!"

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Up to Chapter 2 now and favourite bit is still that

although they didn't know what Elyrium was, they stuffed and mounted her and sold the "curiosity" to the Sandpoint Boutique.

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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook Subscriber

That is pretty amusing, yes. ^^

I will also admit last night's humiliation conga on Titus Scarnetti with high Intimidate and Diplomacy rolls (with massive bonuses from the Imperious Sorceress's Feat focus on those skills) turning his efforts to blame the upcoming giant attack on the Heroes of Sandpoint turning into a verbal castration of him before the entire town (and several people realizing that the short pretty blonde from Irrisen isn't a pushover and maybe those White Witches (even though she's actually a sorceress, not like the folk in Sandpoint would really know that though) are as terrifying as tales claim).

It should prove interesting to see what happens now that the town is being attacked, especially as Titus has a couple "helpers" who will utilize the disruption of the town to deal with his bastard nephew who seems at the forefront of all his woes... ^^

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Nice plot twist Tangent:)
i'd love to hear how they're stated up, even just the basics:)

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barry lyndon wrote:

Up to Chapter 2 now and favourite bit is still that

** spoiler omitted **

My PCs have stuffed and mounted the "major" beasts they've encountered along the way and sent them all back to the Rusty Dragon. So far, hanging on the wall at the Rusty Dragon:

Possible BBEG spoilers:

Malfeshnekor's Head (with articulating jaw!)
Mytarlacoraxithryl's Head (a dragon encounter [posted here on the boards by another member] I inserted into the journey to Turtleback Ferry)

Needless to say, Ameiko loves my party because they make her inn the most appealing adventurer's tavern in Sandpoint, and with all the action occurring in Varisia lately, Sandpoint's become quite the adventuring hotspot. The heads remind her of her own adventuring days. I imagine not before long, we'll see a few more additions to the wall at the Rusty Dragon.

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My party upon seeing the Giant Crab in Thistletop:

Fighter: Look! It's finally an enemy we can eat.
Swashbuckler: I dunno, we need butter.
Wizard: Butter is the material component for Grease. I have butter.

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