Dedicated Voter Season 7
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Below is my first-ever wondrous item and first-ever submission (just a fact, not trying to make excuses here). It's 287 words and I think I already know several of its significant shortcomings, but would be very happy to have your thoughts on this item.
Coil of Ionic Inversion
Aura moderate necromancy; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 18,500 gp; Weight -
Description
The coil is a thin, serpentine ribbon of woven copper wire studded with dozens of tiny meteoric lodestones. Wrapped around the hilt or handle of a metallic weapon, it crackles with pale green, spark - like emanations. When this weapon damages a living creature, the coil inverts and disrupts the electrical ionic flow within its body, often with dire consequences.
The coil functions as a reservoir and conduit for ionic energy only when in contact with the wielder’s bare skin. In addition to normal weapon damage, the coil saps ionic energy equal to the wielder’s Constitution modifier, adding to total damage. The coil absorbs and stores this sapped energy, up to the wielder’s Constitution score.
Three times per day, once fully charged, the next successful attack discharges the coil’s reservoir through the weapon as an ionic surge added to normal weapon damage. This surge also risks overwhelming the living creature’s brain or nervous system synapses (or equivalent), requiring a Fortitude save (DC 14 + the wielder’s Constitution modifier) or paralyzing it for 1d4+1 rounds. Failure by 14 or more signifies the creature instead suffers sudden cardiac arrest (or equivalent effect if no circulatory system is present). It is staggered for one round before falling prone and dazed for 2d4 rounds, taking ionic damage each round equal to the coil’s reservoir capacity.
Electricity - based living creatures are exceptionally susceptible to the inversion of their natural ionic energy flow and all coil damage, effects and durations are doubled.
When held, the coil’s latent energy increases the wielder’s Constitution modifier by 1.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, shocking grasp, slay living; Cost 9,250 gp
Dedicated Voter Season 7
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Here's mine. This may not be the final, final form as I may have done some last few edits in the submission field.
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COAT OF THE ETERNAL VAGABOND
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 12th
Slot body; Price 24,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
A sturdy wool greatcoat with capacious pockets, the coat of the eternal vagabond protects its wearer as the endure elements spell. This abjuration is included as a precaution in light of the coat’s other property: once per day, by tugging upon the coat’s lapels, the wearer and all her gear teleports to a random location within 200 miles.To determine where the wearer arrives, the GM rolls a d100 twice, adding the results together. This indicates how many miles the wearer has traveled. The GM then rolls 1d8 to determine the cardinal direction (1 is north, 2 northeast, 3 east, and so on).
The wearer always arrives outdoors on a patch of unoccupied, solid ground nearest to the rolled result. The coat never takes any one wearer to exactly the same place; the wearer can find herself no less than one mile from where she has already traveled via the coat. If any of these restrictions prevent the wearer’s arrival, the GM rerolls the location.
Up to four creatures of Medium size can join the wearer by grasping the coat before she activates it (Large creatures count as two Medium creatures and two Small creatures count as one Medium. Huge or bigger creatures cannot be transported). Unwilling or unwary creatures touching the coat when it is activated remain where they are. No one can activate the coat except the wearer.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, endure elements, teleport; Cost 12,000 gp
-------------------------------------Self-critique and musings: ** spoiler omitted **...
Full disclosure - I think from a rules perspective I end up being very much by the book, perhaps too much. That said...
I think you're right in that you came up with something thematicly nice, though maybe not "it". This felt like a plot device for the GM to say the party basically bounces around to where they're needed next. Neat for a traveling party, maybe a campaign plot item, but not an item I think many characters would actively seek out.
Otherwise, it's solidly written, and doesn't try to do too much. Keep submitting!
Boots of Spellwalking
There are some good ideas here. The first ability is really powerful and well done. It is similar to Shot on the Run, and other feats, but there is no feat that lets you do this for spell casting. I believe that is intentional, but I'm not sure if this is something the designers want to avoid totally or if it is ok for magic items, but not ok for feats. I think it is fine as a magic item, and it is mostly balanced well, though I think it didn't need to ignore difficult terrain. This seems a bit outside the theme.
The second ability I'm less impressed with. It is super weird that you have to make a concentration check to activate a magic item. Are there any in the SRD that require this? I get that the theme is that the spell "walks", but this seems to be a bit different than the first ability that allows the user to walk and cast. They are just kind of dissimilar. It might have been more cohesive if the spell area moved with the caster's own movement. Anyway, there are some cool ideas here, but I think it just needed a rehash or two to really firm it up.
Cilice of Shared Suffering
Aura faint necromancy; CL 5th
Slot wrist; Price 31,500 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This finely made silver chain bears many garnet studs and numerous barbs curved inward to pierce the wearer's skin when worn wrapped around the wrist. The barbs inflict five points of piercing damage on the wearer when donned. This damage cannot be whiled while it is worn. The wearer may remove the cilice as a standard action. A single chain occupies the wearer's entire wrist slot.
Twice per day, upon suffering damage from a melee attack, the wearer may invoke the cilice's power as an immediate action to influct half the damage just suffered from that attack upon the attacker as piercing damage. The cilice inflicts only hit point damage, not ability damage or any other conditions or effects that the wearer suffered from the attack. This damage manifests as a series of puncture wounds in the pattern of the chain's barbs around the attacker's wrists, or center of mass for creatures without comparable anatomy. The attacker must also make a DC 14 Will save or suffer the effects of a howling agony spell for five rounds from the pain of the wounds. Whether or not the safe succeeds, an attacker cannot again be the target of the chain's effect for one day.
For the duration of the howling agony, the cilice's garnets glow red, providing light equivalent to a candle.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, howling agony, inflict serious wounds, light; Cost 15,750 gp
1) There's some clunky writing that mostly appeared in last second editing in the submission box. In particular, I used a pronoun in the first paragraph when I really ought to have called it a chain or something again.
2) I probably overwrote the primary effect.
3) It's not a weapon, per se, but is awfully weaponlike with how the primary thing it gives you is a nasty, damaging surprise for the first pair of dragons to try chowing down on you each day.
4) The pricing of the damage effect was a pure stab in the dark.
5) The light effect was probably gratuitous and certainly not useful.
6) I ought to have linked howling agony and did not. Changing the save from fort to will was deliberate since it's an item that's meant to be used against big brute monsters who usually have good fort saves. A really cool effect that just never happens against what ought to be the item's primary targets is lame.
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Dedicated Voter Season 7
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Below is my first-ever wondrous item and first-ever submission (just a fact, not trying to make excuses here). It's 287 words and I think I already know several of its significant shortcomings, but would be very happy to have your thoughts on this item.
Coil of Ionic Inversion
Aura moderate necromancy; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 18,500 gp; Weight -Description
The coil is a thin, serpentine ribbon of woven copper wire studded with dozens of tiny meteoric lodestones. Wrapped around the hilt or handle of a metallic weapon, it crackles with pale green, spark - like emanations. When this weapon damages a living creature, the coil inverts and disrupts the electrical ionic flow within its body, often with dire consequences.The coil functions as a reservoir and conduit for ionic energy only when in contact with the wielder’s bare skin. In addition to normal weapon damage, the coil saps ionic energy equal to the wielder’s Constitution modifier, adding to total damage. The coil absorbs and stores this sapped energy, up to the wielder’s Constitution score.
Three times per day, once fully charged, the next successful attack discharges the coil’s reservoir through the weapon as an ionic surge added to normal weapon damage. This surge also risks overwhelming the living creature’s brain or nervous system synapses (or equivalent), requiring a Fortitude save (DC 14 + the wielder’s Constitution modifier) or paralyzing it for 1d4+1 rounds. Failure by 14 or more signifies the creature instead suffers sudden cardiac arrest (or equivalent effect if no circulatory system is present). It is staggered for one round before falling prone and dazed for 2d4 rounds, taking ionic damage each round equal to the coil’s reservoir capacity.
Electricity - based living creatures are exceptionally susceptible to the inversion of their natural ionic energy flow and all coil damage, effects and durations are doubled.
When held, the coil’s latent energy...
Full disclosure - I think from a rules perspective I end up being very much by the book, perhaps too much. That said...
I think this item ended up suffering from the the penalties. More than one penalty, paralyzing for many rounds in exchange for 14-18 damage doesn’t seem like an appetizing trade. I think it's a little unclear on how the item gets charge. As part of an attack I'm guessing. I'm not sure how much I like referring to ionic energy, cardiac arrest, and other things listed here.
That all said, I think This is at least a good core of an item. Something that builds up energy as you attack and eventually unleashes the energy in one big hit. Just don't penalize the wearer as much, allow them to finish that full attack they're making, and you have a nifty item I would like to have.
Below is my first-ever wondrous item and first-ever submission (just a fact, not trying to make excuses here). It's 287 words and I think I already know several of its significant shortcomings, but would be very happy to have your thoughts on this item.
Coil of Ionic Inversion
Aura moderate necromancy; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 18,500 gp; Weight -Description
The coil is a thin, serpentine ribbon of woven copper wire studded with dozens of tiny meteoric lodestones. Wrapped around the hilt or handle of a metallic weapon, it crackles with pale green, spark - like emanations. When this weapon damages a living creature, the coil inverts and disrupts the electrical ionic flow within its body, often with dire consequences.The coil functions as a reservoir and conduit for ionic energy only when in contact with the wielder’s bare skin. In addition to normal weapon damage, the coil saps ionic energy equal to the wielder’s Constitution modifier, adding to total damage. The coil absorbs and stores this sapped energy, up to the wielder’s Constitution score.
Three times per day, once fully charged, the next successful attack discharges the coil’s reservoir through the weapon as an ionic surge added to normal weapon damage. This surge also risks overwhelming the living creature’s brain or nervous system synapses (or equivalent), requiring a Fortitude save (DC 14 + the wielder’s Constitution modifier) or paralyzing it for 1d4+1 rounds. Failure by 14 or more signifies the creature instead suffers sudden cardiac arrest (or equivalent effect if no circulatory system is present). It is staggered for one round before falling prone and dazed for 2d4 rounds, taking ionic damage each round equal to the coil’s reservoir capacity.
Electricity - based living creatures are exceptionally susceptible to the inversion of their natural ionic energy flow and all coil damage, effects and durations are doubled.
When held, the coil’s latent energy...
Basing an item's power on an ability score of the wielder is problematic. What happens if the 18 Con barbarian charges it up and hands it to the 12 Con rogue? Also, the bit about raising the wielder's Constitution modifier is problematic. Does it affect hp? Does it increase the maximum capacity of the coil?
Also, the item basically seems like a TASER, which falls into the modern technology as magic trap, and the talk of ionic flow just kept me thinking of those ionic bracelets from late-night infomercials.
I get what you're trying to do: incapacitate a bad guy, useful for characters needing to quietly take out some sentries, but there were just too many why and what if questions for me.
Abiding Light
Not crazy about the name. Doesn't sound like an item to me. Probably should have "candle" or a synonym in the name.
I agree with others that it does a bit much. That is a big save bonus and it does dispel a lot of things. I guess I don't really see a the theme being very tight. It is a hard to extinguish light that strengthen's everyone's willpower and can dispel a bunch of fairly unrelated effects. I guess I get that it gives everyone a stalwart beacon of hope, and perseverance, and keeps them focused, but I think it could have used a few words alerting the reader to this theme right after the description. Despite being a bit overpowered, it is not terrible as a magic item. I just don't think it lives up to superstar status. Hope this helps and good luck in future competitions.|
Dedicated Voter Season 7
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Full disclosure - I think from a rules perspective I end up being very much by the book, perhaps too much. That said...
I think this item ended up suffering from the the penalties. More than one penalty, paralyzing for many rounds in exchange for 14-18 damage doesn’t seem like an appetizing trade. I think it's a little unclear on how the item gets charge. As part of an attack I'm guessing. I'm not sure how much I like referring to ionic energy, cardiac arrest, and other things listed here.
That all said, I think This is at least a good core of an item. Something that builds up energy as you attack and eventually unleashes the energy in one big hit. Just don't penalize the wearer as much, allow them to finish that full attack they're making, and you have a nifty item I would like to have.
Perhaps I was unclear (which could have been it's true downfall), but the wielder gets no penalties. All the effects are on the attacked living creature.
RPG Superstar 2013
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Steven T. Helt
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Provocateur’s Pamphlet
I see a lot of small quibbles with this item, and most of the time it was enough to warn me off voting it up. The idea is kind of neat and seems popular with voters, but to me it felt like a passive story item and not an exciting thing to put on my character sheet.
What's an intelligent humanoid? Higher than 3? Is literacy required? What constitutes my nearest family member, friend, etc. The person I feel closest to, or the person physically closest to me? Do I stop what I'm doing and hop across town and country to share the flyer?
Eliminate the word "will" from your writing. Use exciting, active language that speaks to the reader NOW.
How is the intent of the original message fulfilled? If the message says "The Gray Gardners must identify themselvess and be executed", does the effect wear off when I volunteer the cause? When one gardner comes forward? When I expose the gardners? What if I am a Gray Gardner?
These questions could throw an entire campaign into a tizzy. That might be exciting, or it might be chaos. I think tightening your language and gray areas is essential for next year, but I definitely think you show some imagination and awareness of the kind of world Golarion is, so there should absolutely be an attempt next year.
Star Voter Season 7
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Skeleton Orb
Aura faint necromancy and evocation; CL 3rd
Slot slotless; Price 800gp; Weight —
Description
This glass orb has a bone sliver suspended in the middle. The orb allows the holder to command a skeleton as the spell command undead. This skeleton does not count against the total number of undead you can control. The orb can be thrown against the ground breaking it. Causing the skeleton being controlled to explode damaging anyone within its reach dealing the same amount of hit points that the skeleton had left before exploding (reflex for half). This damage is piercing damage.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, command undead, and shatter; Cost 400gp
Here's the item I submitted. This was my first year entering RPG Superstar. I'm happy to notice that it made the top 100. Feedback would be greatly appreciated!
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Mantle of Butterflies
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 9th
Slot chest; Price 12,000 gp; Weight --
Description
This garment is usually decorated with images of stylized butterflies, and is worn over normal clothing or armor. Up to three times per day, as a standard action that does not provoke an attack of opportunity, the wearer can summon a swarm of brilliant butterflies that surround her to a radius of 20 feet. The swarm is centered on, and moves with the wearer, but has a maximum movement of 60 feet per round. If the wearer moves out of the swarm, it immediately dissipates. The butterfly swarm blocks vision as per obscuring mist. The butterfly swarm does not deal any damage to creatures within the swarm, but is distracting. Any creatures inside the swarm must succeed on a DC 15 Fortitude save or be sickened while they remain within the swarm. Spellcasters that attempt to cast a spell within the swarm must make a concentration check (DC 15 + double spell level) or lose the spell. The wearer of the mantle of butterflies can see through the swarm normally, and is not affected by its distracting effects. The swarm lasts up to 10 rounds, and may be dismissed by the wearer as a free action. The swarm is immune to weapon damage, but will dissipate if it takes 40 hp of damage from area-effect attacks. The butterflies are otherwise treated as a swarm of Diminutive creatures (see Swarm creature subtype). The wearer of a mantle of butterflies also receives a +2 luck bonus on all Fortitude saving throws against poison from insects.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, darkvision, insect plague, obscuring mist, resistance; Cost 6,000 gp
I set the requirements such that either a druid or a cleric could craft one. The main intent was a defensive cloud of butterflies that protected the wearer: a cloud that the wearer can see through and cast spells and/or attack through.
Since the swarm of butterflies does not cause damage, I wanted it to have a lesser effect than a true swarm: which is why a caster in the swarm must make a concentration check rather than a caster level check; the other effect is sickness rather than nausea.
In hindsight, I perhaps should have made the swarm immobile. As is, it's perhaps too powerful in the hands of a melee fighter. For the requirements, I should have listed slow poison instead of resistance for the saving throw bonus vs. poison, which is admittedly very much a secondary effect.
And, now that I'm thinking of it, this concept might work better as a spell than as an item.
Finally price: I didn't do any math there-- I compared it to other items that seemed in the same ballpark, and 12K seemed about right.
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Dedicated Voter Season 7
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Perhaps I was unclear (which could have been it's true downfall), but the wielder gets no penalties. All the effects are on the attacked living creature.Full disclosure - I think from a rules perspective I end up being very much by the book, perhaps too much. That said...
I think this item ended up suffering from the the penalties. More than one penalty, paralyzing for many rounds in exchange for 14-18 damage doesn’t seem like an appetizing trade. I think it's a little unclear on how the item gets charge. As part of an attack I'm guessing. I'm not sure how much I like referring to ionic energy, cardiac arrest, and other things listed here.
That all said, I think This is at least a good core of an item. Something that builds up energy as you attack and eventually unleashes the energy in one big hit. Just don't penalize the wearer as much, allow them to finish that full attack they're making, and you have a nifty item I would like to have.
And thank you for taking the time to provide your critique, MrCab!
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Dedicated Voter Season 7
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Boots of Spellwalking
Aura moderate abjuration and transmutation; CL 7th
Slot feet; Price 21,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
These garnet-colored boots are made of fine silk elegantly embroidered with ornate symbols, glyphs, and sigils of thin silver thread.
Three times per day, as a full-round action, the wearer of these boots can move both before and after casting a spell, but he must move at least 10 feet before casting the spell and the total distance that he moves cannot be greater than his speed. When using the boots in this manner, the wearer ignores the adverse effects of difficult terrain and the square he starts out is not considered threatened by any enemies (therefore he never provokes an attack of opportunity when moving out of that square).A spellcaster who stomps the ground with these boots to fulfill any somatic components for casting a spell with a duration greater than instantaneous that affects an area, must make a concentration check (DC 15 + double the level of the spell) or lose the spell. Success means the point where the spell originates moves up to 30 feet per round as long as the caster actively directs it (a move action for the caster). A spell that moves in this manner winks out if it exceeds the spell’s range. Failure by 5 or more causes the spell to automatically move up to 30 feet per round towards the boots and renders them useless for 24 hours. The concentration DC increases by +5 for each time this ability has been successfully activated.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, freedom of movement, mage hand; Cost 10,500 gp
Full disclosure - I think from a rules perspective I end up being very much by the book, perhaps too much. That said...
I think you meant to say that the DC increates by 5 (no +) for each time the ability has been activated on a given day. Otherwise by the 5th day the wearer is making a concentration check of 50 or 60. I think it's also unclear how or why teh spellcaster is stomping the boots for somatic components. This part otherwise seems kind of neat.
My main problem with the item is that it is shot on the run or spring attack, but for spells. As other people are mentioning, I'm guessing if Paizo wanted spring attack to exist for spells it would exist by now. This feels like it just make powerful spell casters even more powerful.
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RPG Superstar 2013
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Steven T. Helt
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Abiding Light
I think the candle commits the sin of making adventuring easier. If some of us fail our saves against these affects, we can all abolish them with this candle.
A candle that doesn't extinguish or burns really bright upon command just doesn't seem unique or original to me. It's like a daylight in a can. The extra benefits make adventuring too easy, so they don't help the concept as much.
Skeleton Orb
Aura faint necromancy and evocation; CL 3rd
Slot slotless; Price 800gp; Weight —
Description
This glass orb has a bone sliver suspended in the middle. The orb allows the holder to command a skeleton as the spell command undead. This skeleton does not count against the total number of undead you can control. The orb can be thrown against the ground breaking it. Causing the skeleton being controlled to explode damaging anyone within its reach dealing the same amount of hit points that the skeleton had left before exploding (reflex for half). This damage is piercing damage.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, command undead, and shatter; Cost 400gp
I loved the idea behind this item, and I voted for it every time I saw it, which was a lot of times. It does have two problems (beyond minor formatting and grammar errors): you didn't specify how the skeleton becomes controlled/connected to this orb, and you didn't limit the HD of the skeleton. As written, I can blow all my undead-controlling quota to animate some colossal beastie with a 100 HP, transfer its control to the orb, then take control of my normal army (or worse, buy 10 of these orbs, animate 10 massive beasts, and put them in orbs), then lead them into battle and area effect deal 70+ hp of damage for the cost of an 800 gp item.
It seemed to me that you were thinking the standard human skeleton when you wrote it, and didn't consider possible abuses. Another fifty words could have made this item a real contender.
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Dedicated Voter Season 7
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I just saw the comment saying it's a taser and re-read it...now I get it. That does make a lot more sense.
Change "living creature" around. Go with "The next sucessful attack against a living creature discharges the coil's resevoir..." and otherwise refer to The Target/victim.
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Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7
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my second year ... i really need to open up my imagination after voting. I have been GMing low-power games for so long, that running games for straight power gamers really squashes the creativity. what i wouldn't give for a couple true role players. Thank you for your comments.
Fierani Fletching Hoop
Aura moderate transmutation/conjuration; CL 8th;
Weight — Slot none; Price 4,200 gp
DESCRIPTION
This simple brass hoop is approx. 3" in diameter and is usually affixed to a quiver or belt.
The user of the hoop, by drawing any arrow-sized wooden shaft through the hoop will create a nocked, tipped and fletched common arrow. The wooden shafts can be common arrow stock or simple foraged and cleaned sticks of the right size. The hoop can create 12 common arrows/day.
In addition, any arrow drawn through the hoop can be enchanted with the bane ability. The user may name any race as the arrow's designated foe and may change the foe with each enchanted arrow. This ability may be used 3/day.
Any arrows created or enchanted by the hoop that are not used the day they were created will revert to its original state.
CONSTRUCTION
REQUIREMENTS Craft Wondrous Item, fabricate, summon monster I; Cost 2100 gp
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Dedicated Voter Season 7
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I'm actually really proud of my item. It's useful, but I'm not so sure it's superstar. Also, a couple of people informed me that it was a mid level item when it should have been more of a low level item.
Spellsnaring Canvas
Aura moderate abjuration and illusion; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 7,400 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This scrolltube of meshed electrum houses a rolled canvas of dragonskin vellum. An embossed leather strap allows it to be slung over the back or shoulders.
When the bearer is targeted by or within the affected area of an arcane spell being cast, she may, as an immediate action once per day, speak the command word to allow the spell's effects to fully imprint upon the canvas. The imprint lasts 24 hours before fading.
To the untrained eye, an imprint is little more than a messy, if brilliant, cacophony of color splashed across the canvas. However, each hue and spatter, even the texture and intensity, translates into an aspect of the spell. Read magic allows the bearer to understand the imprint as if deciphering a scroll.
The bearer may attempt to copy an imprinted spell into her spellbook or formula book as if from a scroll, Conversely, if she is a witch, she may attempt to teach the imprinted spell to her familiar. The Spellcraft check is made normally for a spell that affects an area, but is made at a -5 penalty for a targeted spell, with an additional -1 penalty for every metamagic feat applied to the spell that the bearer does not have. Regardless of the outcome, the imprint dissipates after a single attempt.
The canvas grants its bearer a +3 competence bonus to Spellcraft checks made to identify spells being cast.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, color spray, siphon magic ; Cost 3,700 gp
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Dedicated Voter Season 7
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Basing an item's power on an ability score of the wielder is problematic. What happens if the 18 Con barbarian charges it up and hands it to the 12 Con rogue? Also, the bit about raising the wielder's Constitution modifier is problematic. Does it affect hp? Does it increase the maximum capacity of the coil?
I was thinking of a CON vs. CON item (wielder vs. victim) since it really comes down to the modifiers for the save vs. the heart attack.
Point taken regarding the barbarian trading with the rogue. I think the reading would mean that the capacity is equal to the wielder's CON. Not sure what happens to any excess energy.
Maybe a nasty carpet static shock to the nearest party member?
Yes, the +1 CON mod would effect HP and the maximum capacity of the coil, but only by 1 point which is why I did not have the coil actually increase the base CON score. I wanted it to be a very slight increase.
Like the 90s dance hit "I GOT THE POWER..."
Thanks you for your comments. Makes me realize that no matter how much things make sense to me, a successful designer makes sure that it makes sense to others...
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RPG Superstar 2013
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Steven T. Helt
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Boots of Spellwalking
I am not sure I saw this item during voting, but I can tell you I don't think I'd have upvoted it that often after the cull. The first paragraph really sends the message "I don't want tactical thought to get in the way of casting my spells". Players who had to fight an NPC wearing these boots would groan. GMs would start throwing reach encounters and other dynamics aimed at circumventing these boots. Magus players would insist they can move without provoking, cast a spell, move back to attack, and cast another spell as a result of the attack (or somesuch). That makes the boots super hairy...with a lot of gray areas and frustrated players/GMs.
The second ability is a little strange...the targeted point of the spell can move, unless you blow the concentration check, at which point the spell moves toward you. But supposed there's a strong wind and you cast incendiary cloud? Does the spell move as you intend, then move according to wind, and essentially cover significantly more or less area?
I think the attempt at battlefield control is neat, and a good space for clever designers and players. But I think you left a lot unsaid in this item.
I do kind of like where you're coming from though. Great luck next year!
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Dedicated Voter Season 7
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Here was my first time entry into the contest. I would like to start off saying thanks to everyone who gave me feedback during the weeks leading up to the submission and the few reviews I received the past few weeks.
The biggest complaint I heard and I sure it hurt me is that it is a golden tooth and people naturally thought of it as "bling". I honestly did not see it like that until I saw people saying that. I had the thought of pirates, traveling salesmen from lands much like Osirion, shady bandit leaders, etc. I am sure people discounted it as a joke item though which was an unfortunate oversight on my part.
I also knew I was taking a risk with the mechanics of the item but I personally feel they were well thought out. Biased opinion of course :D Instead of thinking of a cool spell and how I could add it into something that isn't a pair of gloves with similar spell like abilities or just controlling effects with an item I tried to analyze the game and what takes the fun away for people. I know it is gut wrenching when you just HAVE to make that roll and you roll a natural 1. I have seen it ruin the whole night in certain situations and I felt like this would be the ultimate turn around for what could be an unfortunate outcome for the group. Maybe I over thought it though :D
I did get some critiques that the item did not have enough flavor and I completely agree. I was more focused on delivering mechanics in a solid way with something that I could not find any information or rules on. Next year though I plan on using all that creativity I shoved aside.
Thanks for the input and advice if you give any! I hope to learn from everything I hear and apply it to future projects I have already planned out. Looking forward to practicing this year with the Paizo community and hopefully getting my opportunity next year.
Lucky Golden Tooth
Aura moderate divination; CL 6th
Slot none; Price 30,000 gp; Weight –
Description
This brightly polished golden...
I liked this item, got a few of my votes when I saw it. Definitely got the sly gambler with a golden tooth feeling when I read it. I have a feeling flavor won out over mechanics this year though. Here's to next year!
my second year ... i really need to open up my imagination after voting. I have been GMing low-power games for so long, that running games for straight power gamers really squashes the creativity. what i wouldn't give for a couple true role players. Thank you for your comments.
Fierani Fletching Hoop
Aura moderate transmutation/conjuration; CL 8th;
Weight — Slot none; Price 4,200 gpDESCRIPTION
This simple brass hoop is approx. 3" in diameter and is usually affixed to a quiver or belt.The user of the hoop, by drawing any arrow-sized wooden shaft through the hoop will create a nocked, tipped and fletched common arrow. The wooden shafts can be common arrow stock or simple foraged and cleaned sticks of the right size. The hoop can create 12 common arrows/day.
In addition, any arrow drawn through the hoop can be enchanted with the bane ability. The user may name any race as the arrow's designated foe and may change the foe with each enchanted arrow. This ability may be used 3/day.
Any arrows created or enchanted by the hoop that are not used the day they were created will revert to its original state.
CONSTRUCTION
REQUIREMENTS Craft Wondrous Item, fabricate, summon monster I; Cost 2100 gp
I voted for this one several times, though it never had stiff competition in its pairings.
Its first power (making arrows out of twigs) is the neat and original one, just I'm afraid not one that would resonate with a lot of players. Very few people actually bother to track arrows, and many people equip their archery characters with 100s of arrows at a time, so the ability to make 12 more...
As for the bane effect, that's where the item's true power lies, and unfortunately, it just boils down to applying a weapon ability a few times per day. Of course, you get to choose the type of creature to affect each time, which is very useful, but it's also been done many times before in Superstar, in one way or another.
So here's my Gauntlet of Having a Name Longer Than Any Other in the Top 100. I was really happy with my concept but knew my execution was flawed. Still, people seemed to like it enough. My word-count for my submission was 299 words but, to my everlasting dismay, a typo that escaped my vision sets that right up against the limit at 300. I'll highlight the word I added to fix the typo (I couldn't repost it without adding it in because I'm usually a grammar nazi).
It's late tonight, but I'm not proud of just sharing my item and not offering up much critique in turn. Tomorrow, I'll try and post some reviews of other's items, although how effective I'll be at it as a rather amateur designer, I'm not sure. Can't hurt to try, I imagine.
Gauntlet of Earth Shattering and Elevating
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 4th
Slot Hands; Price 14,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This oversized muddy gauntlet has five short miniature drills attached to the fingers and five pistons connected to an iron plate affixed to the knuckles.
Five times per day, the wearer of the gauntlet can smash his fist into the ground as a standard action. This lowers the ground the wearer is standing on by five feet and subjects every creature one square away from the epicenter to a trip combat maneuver. Treat the trip combat maneuver as if it has a CMB of 4 + the user’s strength bonus and size modifier. All squares adjacent to the epicenter are treated as difficult terrain for five rounds or until the gauntlet runs out of this specific kind of charge, whichever happens first.
Five times per day, the wearer of this gauntlet may plunge his fingers into the ground and pull upwards as a standard action. This raises the ground the wearer is standing on by five feet and prevents flanking bonuses garnered from creatures standing at lower elevations than the user. All squares adjacent to the hill are treated as difficult terrain for five rounds or until the gauntlet runs out of this specific kind of charge, whichever happens first.
The gauntlet cannot be used to raise or lower the ground of one square by more than five feet. Whilst the difficult terrain created by this item’s usage dissipates as described, the changes in elevation do not. The gauntlet cannot be used on walls or ceilings. Using the glove in either of the ways listed provokes an attack of opportunity. The usage of one effect cancels out the other.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, groundswell, expeditious excavation; Cost 7,000 gp
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RPG Superstar 2013
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Steven T. Helt
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Battleforge Gauntlets
This is not your first rodeo, so I'm not sure what value my comments can be to you. I think the first comment is that I really like these gauntlets!
Now there's some messy language and because of how weird it is, I had to read it a couple of times to get it. And I really think that voter fatigue is something you have to be careful of. So that might have been your main problem.
But wow! The cinematic and tactical value of these gauntlets is great, and I think a lot of fun.
Headcase, you are gonna get in this thing at some point and you are gonna do fine. To me, this is a great example of badass idea just a little off on execution. Good luck next year, or finding enough work so you don't qualify anymore.
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Star Voter Season 7
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Skeleton Orb
Aura faint necromancy and evocation; CL 3rd
Slot slotless; Price 800gp; Weight —
Description
This glass orb has a bone sliver suspended in the middle. The orb allows the holder to command a skeleton as the spell command undead. This skeleton does not count against the total number of undead you can control. The orb can be thrown against the ground breaking it. Causing the skeleton being controlled to explode damaging anyone within its reach dealing the same amount of hit points that the skeleton had left before exploding (reflex for half). This damage is piercing damage.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, command undead, and shatter; Cost 400gp
I loved the idea behind this item, and I voted for it every time I saw it, which was a lot of times. It does have two problems (beyond minor formatting and grammar errors): you didn't specify how the skeleton becomes controlled/connected to this orb, and you didn't limit the HD of the skeleton. As written, I can blow all my undead-controlling quota to animate some colossal beastie with a 100 HP, transfer its control to the orb, then take control of my normal army (or worse, buy 10 of these orbs, animate 10 massive beasts, and put them in orbs), then lead them into battle and area effect deal 70+ hp of damage for the cost of an 800 gp item.
It seemed to me that you were thinking the standard human skeleton when you wrote it, and didn't consider possible abuses. Another fifty words could have made this item a real contender.
Thanks Nazard yeah I was thinking more human or large size Skeletons not really thinking about ones bigger then that.
I'm actually really proud of my item. It's useful, but I'm not so sure it's superstar. Also, a couple of people informed me that it was a mid level item when it should have been more of a low level item.
Spellsnaring Canvas
Aura moderate abjuration and illusion; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 7,400 gp; Weight 1 lb.Description
This scrolltube of meshed electrum houses a rolled canvas of dragonskin vellum. An embossed leather strap allows it to be slung over the back or shoulders.When the bearer is targeted by or within the affected area of an arcane spell being cast, she may, as an immediate action once per day, speak the command word to allow the spell's effects to fully imprint upon the canvas. The imprint lasts 24 hours before fading.
To the untrained eye, an imprint is little more than a messy, if brilliant, cacophony of color splashed across the canvas. However, each hue and spatter, even the texture and intensity, translates into an aspect of the spell. Read magic allows the bearer to understand the imprint as if deciphering a scroll.
The bearer may attempt to copy an imprinted spell into her spellbook or formula book as if from a scroll, Conversely, if she is a witch, she may attempt to teach the imprinted spell to her familiar. The Spellcraft check is made normally for a spell that affects an area, but is made at a -5 penalty for a targeted spell, with an additional -1 penalty for every metamagic feat applied to the spell that the bearer does not have. Regardless of the outcome, the imprint dissipates after a single attempt.
The canvas grants its bearer a +3 competence bonus to Spellcraft checks made to identify spells being cast.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, color spray, siphon magic ; Cost 3,700 gp
Compare what this item does to the spell spell turning. Any item, effect, or ability that automatically stops a spell (any spell) from hitting you is hugely powerful.
Picture a 20th level wizard with hundreds of thousands of gold pieces at his disposal. He's about to walk into a wizard's duel...what's he going to bring? A dozen of these. 7,400 gp to make you immune to meteor swarm is just too good.
I do love the idea of capturing the spell and scribing it later. I'm not sure what colour spray adds to the item, except for the part about putting the colours on the canvas, maybe? Cap this item at a 3rd-level spell, and make it so that the wielder has to have it in hand to work, and you have a much more balanced item.
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Dedicated Voter Season 7
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I imagine this was a bit too niche and probably better served by being expanded as an artifact, but here's mine as it was submitted:
Scepter of Fools
Aura strong transmutation; CL 16
Slot none; Price 92,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
Originally created by trickster servants of Calistria to taunt Shelynite rivals in royal courts, this item initially appears as a bronze scepter with the head sculpted into an empty jester’s cap. A scepter’s wielder can point it at an intelligent living being to challenge them to a battle of wits. If the target refuses or loses an opposed Perform(comedy) skill check against the wielder, they must make a DC 20 Fort save. If the target fails, they disappear with a flash, their face reappearing in the scepter’s jester cap. If the target wins the opposed skill check, the wielder must save or be pulled into the scepter themselves. If the scepter already has a being trapped within, that being is restored and released in an adjacent square.A being trapped within the scepter does not need to breathe or eat. They can speak, but cannot cast spells. A trapped being is immediately released within 24 hours unless the wielder defeats them again in an opposed Perform(comedy) skill check, which resets the time of release. The risk of the wielder being trapped applies to this check as well.
When the scepter contains a trapped being, it imparts a free aid another check to any Perform checks in which the trapped being has skill ranks. The trapped head can also be commanded to laugh hysterically once per day, affecting all listeners within 30 feet as if targeted by hideous laughter.Anyone trapped within a scepter of fools can be released with command word from the wielder, destroying the scepter, or simply waiting 24 hours after the last duel.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, hideous laughter, polymorph any object; Cost 46,000 gp
I like the flavor of this item. A battle of wits, the loser is put to shame trapped in a sceptor...but it ends up becoming an item that can trap someone indefinitely. All someone has to do is make sure their Perform Comedy skill is relativel high, and their opponent is trapped indefinitely by daily checks. This is probably a candidate for "regardless of the result, a creature targetted by the staff cannot be trapped by it more than once within (some time span).
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RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16
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Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
aka FaxCelestis
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Spellsnaring Canvas
I loved this item. It's only flaw, in my opinion, is that it is priced too high. If you gave it a second ability (say, a save bonus vs. the captured spell, or consume the painting to counter the captured spell), that would solve the issue.
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Dedicated Voter Season 7
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| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Compare what this item does to the spell spell turning. Any item, effect, or ability that automatically stops a spell...I'm actually really proud of my item. It's useful, but I'm not so sure it's superstar. Also, a couple of people informed me that it was a mid level item when it should have been more of a low level item.
Spellsnaring Canvas
Aura moderate abjuration and illusion; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 7,400 gp; Weight 1 lb.Description
This scrolltube of meshed electrum houses a rolled canvas of dragonskin vellum. An embossed leather strap allows it to be slung over the back or shoulders.When the bearer is targeted by or within the affected area of an arcane spell being cast, she may, as an immediate action once per day, speak the command word to allow the spell's effects to fully imprint upon the canvas. The imprint lasts 24 hours before fading.
To the untrained eye, an imprint is little more than a messy, if brilliant, cacophony of color splashed across the canvas. However, each hue and spatter, even the texture and intensity, translates into an aspect of the spell. Read magic allows the bearer to understand the imprint as if deciphering a scroll.
The bearer may attempt to copy an imprinted spell into her spellbook or formula book as if from a scroll, Conversely, if she is a witch, she may attempt to teach the imprinted spell to her familiar. The Spellcraft check is made normally for a spell that affects an area, but is made at a -5 penalty for a targeted spell, with an additional -1 penalty for every metamagic feat applied to the spell that the bearer does not have. Regardless of the outcome, the imprint dissipates after a single attempt.
The canvas grants its bearer a +3 competence bonus to Spellcraft checks made to identify spells being cast.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, color spray, siphon magic ; Cost 3,700 gp
It doesn't stop the spell; it just imprints on the canvas while it's hitting you...
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Dedicated Voter Season 7
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It doesn't stop the spell; it just imprints on the canvas while it's hitting you...Compare what this item does to the spell spell turning. Any item, effect, or ability thatI'm actually really proud of my item. It's useful, but I'm not so sure it's superstar. Also, a couple of people informed me that it was a mid level item when it should have been more of a low level item.
Spellsnaring Canvas
Aura moderate abjuration and illusion; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 7,400 gp; Weight 1 lb.Description
This scrolltube of meshed electrum houses a rolled canvas of dragonskin vellum. An embossed leather strap allows it to be slung over the back or shoulders.
...
I also read "imprints" as "you dodge the spell" and was thinking about Spell Turning when voting. The learning new and interesting spells aspect was neat.
I don't think I survived past the cull. I must have done something seriously wrong. I don't know if it's flavor, that it is probably best for only one class, that I neutered down a powerful item by limited uses, pricing, partaking of some other taboo, that I over-engineered the name (Coeurl being a creature in the back of the Legacy of Fire AP, domino meaning the mask and not the game piece), etc.
Coeurl Domino
Aura faint transmutation; CL 3rd
Slot head; Price 8,200 gp; Weight ---
Description
This thin, silky mask melds into the flesh painting the areas surrounding the wearer's eyes as well as the entirety of the wearer's ears with shadowy black skin. The domino may be activated as a free action for three rounds per day which need not be consecutive rounds. When activated, wavering tendrils sprout from the wearer's ears, and the wearer becomes acutely aware of and capable of manipulating vibrations. The mask grants the ability to perform a ranged Disable Device check up to 15 feet against mechanical devices. The wearer automatically knows whether or not this check has succeeded. The wearer also gains Blindsight out to a range of 60 feet. Additionally, all attacks by the wearer against Constructs causes an additional 2d6 points of damage. While the domino is activated, the wearer is vulnerable to sonic damage. Deafening the wearer thwarts all capabilities of the mask. Once donned, the mask may only be removed by the wearer or by others upon the wearer's death.Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, see invisibility, shatter, summon monster I; Cost 4,100 gp
I never saw this during voting, and sad to say, I can make a guess why: it's extremely likely you got disqualified. Unfortunately, you latched on to one of I think two monsters Paizo has published in the AP bestiaries that aren't actually Paizo-owned. (The Deep Crow, I believe, being the other one.) Paizo got special permission from Van Vogt's estate or literary agency or whoever holds the rights to his creations to publish it as a one-shot deal; you won't ever see the coeurl in a bestiary or published adventure because it's legally not theirs to do anything with.
It's really not your fault; it's something that you likely wouldn't know except coming across it as message board trivia (that's where I first heard about it) or else through, I assume, really careful perusal of the copyright/OGL info in that particular AP issue. And since I'm sure you assumed that anything put out by Paizo was fair game to use in a magic item entry, it clearly wasn't an intentional violation. It's just very unfortunate that you chanced upon the microscopically small percent of things that aren't fair game.
So here's my Gauntlet of Having a Name Longer Than Any Other in the Top 100. I was really happy with my concept but knew my execution was flawed. Still, people seemed to like it enough. My word-count for my submission was 299 words but, to my everlasting dismay, a typo that escaped my vision sets that right up against the limit at 300. I'll highlight the word I added to fix the typo (I couldn't repost it without adding it in because I'm usually a grammar nazi).
It's late tonight, but I'm not proud of just sharing my item and not offering up much critique in turn. Tomorrow, I'll try and post some reviews of other's items, although how effective I'll be at it as a rather amateur designer, I'm not sure. Can't hurt to try, I imagine.
Gauntlet of Earth Shattering and Elevating
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 4th
Slot Hands; Price 14,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This oversized muddy gauntlet has five short miniature drills attached to the fingers and five pistons connected to an iron plate affixed to the knuckles.Five times per day, the wearer of the gauntlet can smash his fist into the ground as a standard action. This lowers the ground the wearer is standing on by five feet and subjects every creature one square away from the epicenter to a trip combat maneuver. Treat the trip combat maneuver as if it has a CMB of 4 + the user’s strength bonus and size modifier. All squares adjacent to the epicenter are treated as difficult terrain for five rounds or until the gauntlet runs out of this specific kind of charge, whichever happens first.
Five times per day, the wearer of this gauntlet may plunge his fingers into the ground and pull upwards as a standard action. This raises the ground the wearer is standing on by five feet and prevents flanking bonuses garnered from creatures standing at lower elevations than the user. All squares adjacent to the hill are treated as difficult terrain for five rounds or until the gauntlet runs out of this...
I loved this. Loved the visual of the effect, though not the description of the gauntlet itself (not a steampunk fan, but that's not your fault).
I'm not sure why the difficult terrain had to fade after five rounds or the gauntlet ran out of charges. Also, with most gaming styles, 5 times per day might as well be at will (though maybe you wanted to give lots of uses without letting crafty players constantly make drymoats around their campsites every night). Personally, I would have gone with once per day for each power, but left the difficult terrain as permanent (barring natural erosion). I also would have worded the trip mechanic as the wielder makes a trip CMB check against all adjacent creatures with a +4 bonus. Then, in keeping with that theme, maybe the ground-raising effect should allow a bullrush against adjacent creatures?
These are all personal preference comments, though. I really liked this gauntlet, and was surprised not to find it top 32. Maybe there are some glaring design errors I'm not seeing.
Dedicated Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8
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Gloves of Mercurial Synthesis
Aura Moderate Transmutation; CL 8th
Slot hands; Price 9,000 gp; Weight - lbs.
Description
These black gloves have been embroidered with cold iron and silver thread.
When the wearer of these gloves makes an attack with a natural weapon or unarmed strike against a creature with damage reduction, the gloves will alter any further attacks to ignore any of the following types of damage reduction: Silver, Cold Iron, Lawful, Chaotic, Good, Evil. The effect is reset each time the wearer attacks a new target, with the gloves ignoring no damage reduction on the first attack, even if the damage reduction(s) are the same as the previous creature.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wonderous Item, Versatile Weapon, Align Weapon; Cost 4,500 gp
Pamela, my apologies. I see now that it never says that it protects you from the effects of the spell. I missed that. There were several items this year that did auto-protect you from spells, and I fear your item too easily fell in with that crowd.
The irony is, for me, that if it only trapped low-level spells and you had to hold it in hand to use, I like it better if it absorbed the spell and imprinted it. From the other wizard's perspective, it looks like you've pulled a scroll out to cast from until whoops! Where'd my spell go? Oh damn, it's coming back at me!
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Dedicated Voter Season 7
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Thanks for a great round one, everyone! I would appreciate any feedback, and fear that I should have paid more attention to formatting. Are there other problems?
Boots, Tower
Aura faint transmutation; CL 3rd
Slot feet; Price 4,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description:
Made of stiff leather and decorated with brightly painted tumbling acrobats and jugglers, a 3” x 4” block of darkwood is mounted on the outside base of each boot. The blocks extend to provide support for the feet, and lengthen into 2” thick stilts when activated.On command, the stilts lengthen up to 30’ as a standard action and shorten as a swift action. If at least 5’ above an enemy, the boots provide the wearer a +1 bonus for attacking foes from higher ground. The stilts can be used for a total of 30 minutes per day, although this time need not be consecutive.
The wearer makes an Acrobatics check to walk at half speed (DC 5), and can increase movement to full speed by adding 10 to the DC. All conditional modifiers listed in the Acrobatics skill apply as an addition to the base DC – including walking on narrow surfaces. The boots follow all the rules of Acrobatics with the following exceptions: moving through a threatened area or an enemy’s space and provoking an attack of opportunity allows an attack on the stilts if the user is out of reach; the wearer cannot use them in medium or heavy armor or while carrying a medium or heavy load; and the user cannot jump in them, although if lengthened to 30’ then up to 10’ wide pits can be stepped over as a regular part of movement.
If the user is tripped or the stilts are sundered (20 hps, hardness 5) then the wearer falls and takes damage as if deliberately jumping from the appropriate height (p.443).
Construction:
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Levitate; Cost 2,000 gp
I felt like this item was too close to boots of levetation, combined with boots that just had retractable stilts. A fun item, but not the best for superstar. I woudl also say the bit about Attack of oportunities being taken on the stilts probably doesn't concern acrobatics checks, unless one of the rules is meant to be that you cannot make a tumble acrobatics check to avoid AoOs.
Bauble of the Weeping Fey
Aura moderate divination and evocation; CL 6th
Slot none; Price 14,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This golden bauble contains the eye of a Leprechaun floating in its own tears which replenish daily. Once per day the liquid contents may be dropped into a user’s single eye, causing their iris to visibly glow a bright green as if affected by faerie fire and immediately obtaining the condition dazzled. The drops last for 6 minutes and leave the user dazzled for its duration. Only one functioning eye is required to apply the contents of the Bauble.
Any conscious creature within 40 feet, whose presence and location is known to the user, has eyes and an intelligence score of 1 or higher will appear to have glowing eyes that are visualized only to the user. This glow is visible through non-iron obstacles and requires a successful DC 19 Will to negate. Creature’s eyes will glow violet if they are aware of the user’s presence, blue if they are unaware and green if they are also currently under the effects of a bauble of the weeping fey.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, detect thoughts, faerie fire; Cost 7,000 gp
Gloves of Mercurial Synthesis
Aura Moderate Transmutation; CL 8th
Slot hands; Price 9,000 gp; Weight - lbs.
Description
These black gloves have been embroidered with cold iron and silver thread.When the wearer of these gloves makes an attack with a natural weapon or unarmed strike against a creature with damage reduction, the gloves will alter any further attacks to ignore any of the following types of damage reduction: Silver, Cold Iron, Lawful, Chaotic, Good, Evil. The effect is reset each time the wearer attacks a new target, with the gloves ignoring no damage reduction on the first attack, even if the damage reduction(s) are the same as the previous creature.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wonderous Item, Versatile Weapon, Align Weapon; Cost 4,500 gp
I kind of liked these, despite the formatting errors. I liked that they weren't just a "Dial-A-Bypass-DR" item, where you whisper, "Go, go, gadget silver gloves" when you see the werewolf charging out of the forest. The mechanic of having to hit first every time you attack a new creature helped there.
One question, though: what happens if I hit a werewolf with my first attack, a fey creature with my second, then go back to the werewolf for my third?
Bauble of the Weeping Fey
Aura moderate divination and evocation; CL 6th
Slot none; Price 14,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This golden bauble contains the eye of a Leprechaun floating in its own tears which replenish daily. Once per day the liquid contents may be dropped into a user’s single eye, causing their iris to visibly glow a bright green as if affected by faerie fire and immediately obtaining the condition dazzled. The drops last for 6 minutes and leave the user dazzled for its duration. Only one functioning eye is required to apply the contents of the Bauble.
Any conscious creature within 40 feet, whose presence and location is known to the user, has eyes and an intelligence score of 1 or higher will appear to have glowing eyes that are visualized only to the user. This glow is visible through non-iron obstacles and requires a successful DC 19 Will to negate. Creature’s eyes will glow violet if they are aware of the user’s presence, blue if they are unaware and green if they are also currently under the effects of a bauble of the weeping fey.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, detect thoughts, faerie fire; Cost 7,000 gp
I had two concerns with this item: I'm not sure what Leprechauns have to do with knowing whether or not other creatures can see me (maybe that's a bit of folklore with which I'm not familiar, quite possible), and this item makes me think of the minimaps common to many first-person video games, where the icons change colour when the bad guys are on to you. Since you specify non-iron obstacles, does that mean if I look at a stone wall, I can see blue glowing eyes telling me exactly where all the bad guys in the next room are standing?
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Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9
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| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Things I learned already:
1)Even though I know pictograms are not writing and that there are Paizo sources that specifically mention goblins using pictograms, that doesn't mean every voter knows this.
I also specifically copied goblin naming conventions (many legs, eat goblin babies many from We Be Goblins). People didn't get that. They just thought it was bad writing.
This an important lesson for me but also for others looking at doing 'racial' items.
Flawed Pictograms Eat Stuff Much
Aura Faint Conjuration, Enchantment, Necromancy CL 7th
Slot none Price 62,125 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description Pictograms Eat Stuff Much are goblin pictograms, produced on the poorly cured skins of a disturbing variety of creatures. They give directions for hunting and preparing any flesh. This includes not only animal and humanoid flesh but also vermin, undead flesh, equipment such as boots and wineskins, even magically treated flesh such as in some constructs. Such fare is delicious to goblins and edible by other humanoids. Because goblins aren't very good at magic and sanity is not a valued trait, most versions of the pictograms cause varied forms of mental instability. This is seen as divine revelation by goblins; in part because they end up killing many so 'inspired'. Pictograms that don't cause inspiration are considered flawed.
Users of 'flawed' (non cursed) pictograms who can make a DC 10 Linguistics check or speak goblin receive a +5 bonus to survival checks and directions to convert 3lbs of flesh into 1 day's iron rations and consumable liquid. Reading these recipes to an intelligent, helpless, non goblinoid creature for a continuous 12 hour period is so disturbing it causes a -6 wisdom penalty (as bestow curse, Will DC 14 negates). With a DC15 Linguistics check, bards may translate the horrific nuances of goblin cuisine to effectively use Perform: (Oratory or Sing) to recite these recipes while using their bardic performance, causing confusion in place of fascinate, targeting the same number of targets they would normally effect. Bards must consult the pictograms for each performance as the sane mind blocks out the details of such cooking.
Construction RequirementsCraft Wondrous Item bestow curse, confusion, create food and water, creator must be a goblin, five ranks survival Cost 31,062 gp
Revised version
Aura Faint Conjuration, Enchantment, Necromancy CL 7th
Slot none Price 62,125 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description Goblin Pictograms Eat Stuff Much are produced on the poorly cured skins of a disturbing variety of creatures. They give directions for hunting and preparing any flesh. This includes not only animal and humanoid flesh but also vermin, undead flesh, equipment such as boots and wineskins, even magically treated flesh such as in some constructs. Such fare is delicious to goblins and edible by other humanoids. Because goblins aren't very good at magic, have limited resources, and don't value sanity, most versions of the pictograms cause varied forms of mental instability. This is seen as divine revelation by goblins, partially because they end up killing many so 'inspired'. Pictograms that don't cause inspiration are considered flawed.
Users of flawed (non cursed) pictograms who make a DC 10 Linguistics check or speak goblin receive a +5 bonus to survival checks and directions to convert 3lbs of flesh into 1 day's iron rations and consumable liquid. Describing and showing these recipes to an intelligent, helpless, conscious, non goblinoid creature for a continuous 12 hour period is so disturbing it causes a -6 wisdom penalty (DC 14 Will negates). With a DC15 Linguistics check, bards understand the horrific nuances of goblin cuisine effectively enough to use Perform: (Oratory or Sing) to share these recipes while using their bardic performance, causing confusion in place of fascinate, targeting the same number of targets they would normally effect. Bards must have the pictograms for each performance in order to properly share key parts of the text.
Construction Requirements Craft Wondrous Itembestow curse, confusion, create food and water, creator must be a goblin, five ranks survival Cost 31,062 gp
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Dedicated Voter Season 7
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Sewing Form of the Steel Seamstress
Aura strong transmutation; CL 12th
Slot none; Price 90,000 gp; Weight 200 lbs.
Description
Resting on an iron columnar pedestal, this mahogany mannequin of a torso provides a +2 circumstance bonus on Craft (clothing) checks. Studying the form reveals a palimpsest of markings indicating previous patterns, and, within those lines, arcane runes that outline the item's functions.As a standard action, while wearing armor, anyone the form's size may touch it to become keyed to the mannequin. Upon the form's surface a design emerges that can be followed with a Craft (clothing) skill check (DC 15 + AC bonus). If the skill check is successful, when the armor is placed upon the sewing form, its armor bonus and special abilities are locked to the keyed individual when the outfit is worn. The item slots of the armor are utilized when wearing the outfit. While the armor remains on the form, this connection can be maintained indefinitely.
The maximum dexterity bonus to AC, armor check penalty, and other weight related penalties do not affect the wearer. Casting spells does not require an arcane spell failure check. All of the benefits apply only when worn within a 1 mile radius of the sewing form. Traveling outside the 1 mile radius and the use of extra dimensional spaces or other spells to transport the form breaks the connection. When the connection breaks, the armor gains the broken condition, and the outfit's benefits fade after 24 hours. If the armor is removed from the sewing form by anyone other than the keyed individual the armor is destroyed.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, treasure stitching, creator must have at least 5 ranks in Craft (clothing); Cost 45,000 gp
Didn't like this item since it breaks game balance. I see this item leading to wizards and other lightly armored characters figuring out how to carry the mannequin around with them in a cart to gain the benefits of full plate. It also lessens the value of a fighter's armor training abilities. By removing armor check penalties, it also removes non-proficiency penalties, since those are based on ACP.
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RPG Superstar 2013
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Steven T. Helt
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Coil of Ionic Inversion
Seomtimes, a new designer has to get really tough feedback. Trust that when you get feedback, it's because someone see something in you they think can be refined until you're doing decent design work.
So Zi'on, glad you entered the contest for the first time and I wish you best of luck next year. My review of the coil is gonna be hard, but it's intended to help you avoid some mistakes and show us what you've got.
First, don't ever use the words "ionic" or "central nervous synapse" or "cardiac arrest". It's a fantasy game, not a science fiction. Most players don't want ions to even exist. You could maybe call them ion coils, but describing the electric effects the way you do is poisonous to your end game: a powerful combat item that operates by disrupting the life force of living creatures.
Second little rules that you should not have included: your coil can't be used by someone with gloves, gauntlets, or full plate. If I put them on a dancing weapon they don't function. That's not very good design. The weapon deals damage (which should say electricity damage, but doesn't have a listed type) equal to my Con modifier, which can be a LOT. Naturally, the barbarian in the party gets this thing and takes Raging Brutality and the damage output gets nuts. Be aware of how players will twink out your item. At some point, 18,500 gp is NOTHING compared to the damage output the coil gives.
The next ability really needs attention. Any sentence that starts "three times per day, once fully charge, the next successful.,," risks losing its audience. Simplify this by just letting the 3/day ability happen 3/day, and ignoring the "fully charged". Plus that's confusing: I'm dealing my Con mod in extra damage, which is stored up to my Con SCORE, and then I force a FOrt save on a creature while dealing extra Con MOD damage, and then...does the item reset to my base Con damage to build up again? THis is all bad design, requiring extra tracking of two numbers that can change.
Increasing my Con MOD by one is also overpowered and dangerous. It's a +2 UNTYPED bonus to my Con SCORE, impacting hit points, save and damage output. Maybe I generate poison or I'm a Con-based spellcaster. This is a cheap but superpowerful add-on to a cheap and super powerful item.
That's enough of that. I think the imagination is there, and I think people will always want wondrous items that allow them a little more oomph in combat - maybe a finesse fighter hits well and struggles to do damage and this helps a lot. So there's attractive ideas behind the design, but you definitely have a lot of playing and GMing to do to figure out when something is broken.
A good practice for every contestant every year is to focus group your entry with folk who know the game well. Don't do it publicly, and don't let someone else essentially take over and write your item for you. But asking for feedback among seasoned Pathfinder players would have revealed some of this information to you.
Hope to see you in the Blazing 9 thread after this year's contest and see you develop your craft.
RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32
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Champion Voter Season 6, Champion Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Champion Voter Season 9
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Flawed Pictograms Eat Stuff Much
This is not the exact item you submitted. You didn't have "Craft Wondrous Item", adding those 3 words, the missing "and" in Aura, & other spacing issues in your item took you over word count. Original word count 295, final word count 301.
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Trickster’s Calling Card
Aura faint illusion; CL 1st
Slot none; Price 500 gp; Weight —
Description
This palm-sized pewter disk appears unremarkable to avoid notice. When it is touched to a solid object and a command word is spoken, the disk projects a visual figment, taking on the appearance of the object touched. The object touched must be no larger than 2 cubic feet. A creature that interacts with the figment receives a DC 12 Will save to recognize it as an illusion. After 6 hours, this figment fades, leaving behind a glowing personal rune similar to an arcane mark on the surface of the disk. Optionally, a short written message of 25 words or less can also appear on the disk. This message must be spoken when the disk is activated. The markings are permanent, but the disk cannot create another figment once activated.
The personal rune that appears on the disk is unique to the item’s user and is a reflection of his personality and defining characteristics, although it never reveals the user’s identity. This same mark appears on all of the user’s calling cards and does not change unless the user goes through a significant change in identity, such as a change in alignment or life goals.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, silent image, arcane mark; Cost 250 gp
I know, my spells are backwards.