Alliterative item names: Clever or Campy?

[Bryan Bloomer]

Like the title says, do you think alliteration in your item's name helps you, or hurts you?

[Chris Shaeffer]

Ehem, er, I would know nothing about this...

I think it only hurts you if it seems forced. Something like Skull Skinner might be cool, but Sumptuous Sail of the Savvy Sailor might not work out so well.

[Kiel Howell]

Depends entirely on the name and the style of writing.

I would say it doesn't help often but it can hurt when it is forced.

So, if the item is cool and the name makes sense while being alliterative...that makes the item look tightly written. If it is ok but has an alliterative name...that's not so tightly written.

[Neil Spicer]

Typically, it doesn't help and can often hinder. If you're depending on alliteration in your item name to somehow elevate it to Superstar status, you've misplaced where you should focus as a designer. It's far more important to simply assure that your item name doesn't sound hokey and that it reasonably reflects what the item is with hints toward what it can do.

[Tom Forkbeard]

But does it grab the average voter's attention? Or the voter who is just clicking until a friend's item pops up? Or am I being too cynical.

On the other hand, Beowulf was written in alliterative long lines, so maybe it is the proper way to write in English.

[Jeff Lee]

Tom Forkbeard wrote:

But does it grab the average voter's attention? Or the voter who is just clicking until a friend's item pops up? Or am I being too cynical.

On the other hand, Beowulf was written in alliterative long lines, so maybe it is the proper way to write in English.

I'm pretty sure there were people last year hoping to boost their friends' chances by creating an account to vote. Those were the people complaining long and loud about the voting system being "stupid." However, structured the way it is, you'd have to be pretty dedicated to keep voting until your friend's item popped up, and your vote wouldn't significantly increase their chances if their item wasn't very good. I voted well over 1000 times, probably closer to 2000, and saw my item a grand total of three times.

Beowulf is written in a language most people wouldn't recognize as English, so I wouldn't take it as a "how to" guide for modern English.

As has already been said, alliteration probably isn't the key to getting people interested in your item. I've seen items where it works well. Others, not so much.

[James Casey]

Adding alliterative elements to your title for the sake of being cute is a sure way to lose a vote.

[Anthony Adam]

Try searching for feedback on Proliferating Pocket Purse

That was the item that kicked me hard in the a** in feedback and made me start taking things a lot more seriously both in the competition and at my game table.

[Bryan Bloomer]

Anthony Adam wrote:

Try searching for feedback on Proliferating Pocket Purse

That was the item that kicked me hard in the a** in feedback and made me start taking things a lot more seriously both in the competition and at my game table.

Anthony, you are supremely helpful, as usual :)

And for what it's worth... OUCH. I feel for you. It must not have been easy hearing those critiques. I fully expect you to rebound this year and blow us all away :)

[Samuel Stone]

I'd say "campy," BUT it really depends. Does the item's name have a sort of flow to it? Does it roll off the tongue?

I would try to avoid more than two alliterative words in a row, maybe three if you want to push it. "Belt of Storm-Shielding" has a nice flow to the name, while "Belt of Gozreh's Gilded Gale-Guarding" sounds a lot more forced. The alliteration actually draws attention to the fact that the name is alliterative, and that draws attention away from the item itself.

Basically, the name should sound natural. If it sounds forced, axe it and come up with a new name. You may want to run the name by friends and/or family first to see if it sounds cool, or just silly.

[Maurice de Mare]

Sash of the Salty Seas

So yeah, it can work if you make it work ;-)

[Jacob Trier]

Same goes for a Sunrise Sash, although several people commented that the name was their least favorite part of my item.

[LazarX]

Bryan Bloomer wrote:

Like the title says, do you think alliteration in your item's name helps you, or hurts you?

If the name is stupid, as most alliterative ones are, it puts a strong bias towards a no vote in my hand. It's not an automatic no in my book, but it's definitely starting with a disadvantage, and yes, if I'm on the razor edge of deciding, a dumb name will push it into the no bin.

Try to remember that this isn't American Idol.

[Maurice de Mare]

Jacob Trier wrote:

Same goes for a Sunrise Sash, although several people commented that the name was their least favorite part of my item.

Actually you had a shawl.....

And the sunrise shawl was kind of a mystery item based on that name.

So, what we can take away from this is that an alliterive name (or any name) should also give a vivid description of what the item will do.

[Jacob Trier]

Maurice de Mare wrote:

Jacob Trier wrote:

Same goes for a Sunrise Sash, although several people commented that the name was their least favorite part of my item.

Actually you had a shawl.....

And the sunrise shawl was kind of a mystery item based on that name.

So, what we can take away from this is that an alliterive name (or any name) should also give a vivid description of what the item will do.

Doh....I blame all this Christmas commotion for not being able to remember the name of my own item.

But other than that, I agree completely.

[Monica Marlowe]

In the end, pick the best name for your item and then ask your 5 closets friends to read it and ask for sincere feedback. Then take it if they say the name is bad/annoying.

[GM DarkLightHitomi]

How did you get five close friends? I wish I had even one close friend.

:p

Guess Im stuck asking the judges what they think.

[cwslyclgh]

If the name is alliterative with out feeling forced than I do not think it will hurt the item (I also don't think it is all that helpful in getting it any extra votes either though)... if the alliteration feels forced, then it might hurt the item, as if people think your items name is 'stupid' they are less likely to think that it is 'superstar' over all.

[Nazard]

Personally, I think a single run of no more than two words with alliteration can make the name flow off the tongue, but it starts to "feel forced" once you hit three words.

"Sash of the Salty Seas" works because the "of the" breaks up the alliteration. "Salty Seas Sash" is bleh, as is "Sash of the Seven Salty Seas".

"Spider Slippers" has a flow that "Spider Moccasins", "Spider Galoshes", and "Spider Boots" all lack. "Silvery Spider Slippers" goes too far.

"Last Leaves of the Autumn Dryad" works nicely, whereas "Last Lingering Leaves of the Autumn Dryad" and "Last Leaves of the Awesome Autumn Dryad" stretch too much. Would "Final Leaves of the Autumn Dryad" have worked as well? It doesn't flow.

I think alliteration in a name is a device like any other--as soon as it becomes the focus and not the item, you've lost the mojo.

[Sushewakka]

"Alliterative item names: Clever or Campy?"

The only real answer to this question is "Yes."

[Tom Forkbeard]

I feel it falls freshly from the tongue
When writing thus, wizardly thoughts
And Tolkein taught this timely course
of ancestors always answering wisely

(not quite alliterative long lines,but I just woke up)

[Bryan Bloomer]

Wonderfully well written :)

[Jeff Lee]

Cecil sells seashells, by the seashore
Nigel's numbed by necrosis, so him, nevermore
Alliteration's alright, if used sparingly
But gamers glare glumly, if used glaringly

[James Casey]

Well 8 of the top 32 from last year had some form of alliteration in their title so it certainly isn't a death sentence. I will have to look at additional previous year items.

[James Casey]

2012: 6
2011: 8
2010: 3
2009: 6

Those are the numbers from the last several years that included some alliteration in their top 32 wondrous items. At least two winners (Steven Helt and Neil Spicer) used alliteration in their items- quicksand cloak and last leaves....

I believe if we widen our scope to include entries from later rounds you will see more alliterative elements. Alliteration rolls off the tongue and greatly helps the mind to remember things. Of course it can help to remember the good or the bad. I am going to check the other rounds and see what I find.

[Kerney]

Jrcmarine wrote:

2012: 6

2011: 8
2010: 3
2009: 6

Those are the numbers from the last several years that included some alliteration in their top 32 wondrous items. At least two winners (Steven Helt and Neil Spicer) used alliteration in their items- quicksand cloak and last leaves....

I think 'Last Leaves' illustrates why a alliteration is good but too much is not so good. I think 'Glittering dust of Giggling Girliness as a counter example of too much.

[Chris Shaeffer]

Abridgement: Alliterative arrangements are allowed. Admittedly, almost all advise against artificially applying alliteration above an acceptable amount.

[Eric Morton]

Well played, Mr. Shaeffer. Well played.

[Chris Shaeffer]

Mr. Morton! My mind might make masterful machinations midst many midnights. Morosely, my magical machines made miss marks maddeningly.

[Kiel Howell]

I challenge you now to the letter V!

[Pamela Elizabeth]

Quote:

Abridgement: Alliterative arrangements are allowed. Admittedly, almost all advise against artificially applying alliteration above an acceptable amount.

That's assonance. :P

[Neil Spicer]

Kerney wrote:

I think 'Last Leaves' illustrates why a alliteration is good but too much is not so good. I think 'Glittering dust of Giggling Girliness as a counter example of too much.

Speaking as a former-competitor rather than a former-judge, I didn't set out to put alliteration into the last leaves. It just kind of happened. I rolled that name around in my head for a really long time before settling on it. And, even then, it really worried me that it would be seen as too over-the-top....mostly because of its length moreso than the alliteration.

I think the one thing that helps improve an alliterative name is to keep some (or most) of the words to one syllable. That way, they run together in a fashion that almost makes it sound like a single mish-mashed word. I think last leaves pulls that off. The alliteration doesn't linger too much because the words are short, quick to get out (or register in the mind), and therefore easier to move away from so the reader can take in the remainder of the item's name.

Note that I expressly avoided introducing a third "L" word in the rest of the title. I didn't even ponder that exclusion, because it never occurred to me to get campy with it. The name wouldn't have sounded right if I'd gone that direction anyway. A good writer needs to instinctually realize that, I think. Glomming a bunch of alliterative words together rarely works. Two words together can...especially if you throw in something different along with them. But three words almost never do. I think my favorite of the ones that pulled it off was the flask of five fifths. Again, all three words are one-syllable words. So, it rolls quicker and works better.

[Johnny Jim-Jon]

Again, always avoid alliteration and all assonance.

[eldaryth]

Tom Forkbeard wrote:

But does it grab the average voter's attention? Or the voter who is just clicking until a friend's item pops up? Or am I being too cynical.

On the other hand, Beowulf was written in alliterative long lines, so maybe it is the proper way to write in English.

Sorry to be pedantic, but Beowulf is written in Anglo-Saxon.

[BigNorseWolf]

I like them. Makes the name easier to remember.

[Jacob Trier]

After the first hour of voting, I definitly wish some of the contestants had used just a little less alliteration. Really, if you MUST use alliteration, stop at two or three words. Please.

[Jeff Lee]

Jacob Trier wrote:

After the first hour of voting, I definitly wish some of the contestants had used just a little less alliteration. Really, if you MUST use alliteration, stop at two or three words. Please.

And don't add in the name of some unknown wizard who made the item as a possessive just to get that extra consonant in there...

[TimsterMon]

Two items, hard to decide based on what they do... re-check titles, one has rhyming name other does not... guess which gets voted down (approximately) 80% of the time... alliteration. I'm definitely not opposed to humour or cleverness (one of my life goals is to make at least 5 people smile everyday), but more times than not (8 out of 10!) alliteration hurts rather than helps (imho)

8')

[Sir William]

It's a matter of seeing so many that I think makes people react against it so often. It can get out of hand (and often does), but most of the time it doesn't make an item better or worse in my eyes.

Occasionally people have pulled off alliteration in titles...
Love’s Labor’s Lost by William Shakespeare
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy by John le Carré

[Nicholas Herold]

Like so many things, it depends. Used well, it adds a bit of poetry to an entry. Used poorly, it's an irritant.

[Tokoz]

Nicholas Herold wrote:

Like so many things, it depends. Used well, it adds a bit of poetry to an entry. Used poorly, it's an irritant.

Which is why my answer to the question is:

Yes.

[GM DarkLightHitomi]

Gadding with Ghouls
Magical Me
Holidays with Hags
Break with a Banshee
Marauding with Monsters
The Travel Trilogy
Travels with Trolls
Voyages with Vampires
Wanderings with Werewolves
Year with the Yeti
Gilderoy Lockhart's Guide to Household Pests,
Wait, forget the last one its no good.

Just cause I'm a fan :)

[Curaigh]

ooh well played GM Darklight :)

[Prizrak]

theheadkase wrote:

I challenge you now to the letter V!

Vanward versifier vamoosing, virgin vocalists vie valiantly. Vocalization-verging vocabulary: variable. Veil vigilantly.

[Lightminder]

Unveiled voyages into alliteration wear away itinerant's interest in valiantly voting. Subtle and sparse use uplifts the magical musical qualities of quantities of excellent entries. Clearly consider how the constancy of consonants confuses clerical considerations.

[Monica Marlowe]

Having read a lot of item names now, I can say most people might have been trying for clever, but they ended up with campy :-(

[James Casey]

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