Fetish of the Frog Queen


Open Call: Design a wondrous item

RPG Superstar 2014 Top 32 , Star Voter Season 7 aka Total Biscuit

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Fetish of the Frog Queen
Aura strong transmutation; CL 17th

Slot none; Price 9,000 gp (lesser), 32,500 gp (normal), 73,000 gp (greater); Weight 4 lbs.

Description

Created from the bodies of certain frogs whose poisons induce potent hallucinations and delusions, these mummified husks are variously cited as the invention of either grippli druids or an unusually cunning boggard priest-king. Regardless, their powers are a boon to any caster favouring mental manipulation and alteration.

Three times per day, while casting a targeted mind-affecting spell that allows a Will save, a caster holding a fetish can draw upon its powers to lace the spell's energies with a magical poisonous essence. Instead of affecting the target's mind directly, the altered spell attacks through the victim's body as a psychotropic toxin, necessitating a Fortitude save in place of any Will saves the spell normally allows.

An altered spell is considered a poison effect, with the following provisos:

  • Time spent suppressed by effects such as delay poison still counts against the spell's duration.

  • Accelerate poison halves the spell's duration but does not affect saving throws.

  • An altered spell transferred to another target, such as by absorb toxicity, is still considered cast by the original caster for the purposes of adjudicating effects (whom a charmed victim regards as their friend, for example).

  • Effects that duplicate poisons, such as toxic gift, cannot duplicate altered spells.

An altered spell is still vulnerable to spell resistance, dispelling and other such effects as normal.

Three varieties of fetish exist: lesser, normal, and greater. A lesser fetish affects spells of up to third level; a normal fetish affects spells of up to sixth level; and a greater fetish affects spells of up to ninth level.

Construction

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, poison; Cost 4,500 gp (lesser), 16,250 gp (normal), 36,500 gp (greater)

Paizo Employee Developer

Format fail.

This is a pretty neat item. The writer took care to account for all of the nuances of poison effects. The writing is precise and finely wrought. The item is a bit far-reaching as far as magic items go (I could see this becoming a staple item among nearly every spellcaster), but it's not by any means broken, as far as I can tell.

Weak keep

Paizo Employee Associate Editor

Took me a while to wrap my mind around this—it's a complicated item despite having only one effect. The writer really thought through the consequences and interactions with other spells, though, which is great.

Keep.

Publisher, EN Publishing aka Russell Morrissey

Interesting. I like this; it's not a misty cloak, for one thing, which is a bonus.

Keep.

Shadow Lodge RPG Superstar 2015 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka mamaursula

Congratulations and Good Luck in the next round!

RPG Superstar 2014 Top 32, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka motteditor

Interesting. I think this is the one Top 32 item I didn't see during voting, but at least one person I know mentioned really liking it. Very interesting idea.

Oh, and congrats, of course!

Sczarni RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32 , Champion Voter Season 6, Champion Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Champion Voter Season 9

This was my favorite item mechanically. Well thought out and a great name.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

This was a complex item, I'm surprised the voters didn't get lost and it made it in front of the judges. Cool item deserves its spot so congrats and good luck.

Liberty's Edge Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012 , Star Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9

I thought this had a lot of unnecessary complication, but it is a neat idea. I like the consideration of three tiers for this item, so it becomes useful/affordable for spellcasters of all levels in some form or other.

Congratulations, and best of luck in the monster round!

RPG Superstar 2010 Top 32, 2011 Top 4 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka DankeSean

This is one of those items I thought I was going to hate upon first reading, then after taking a minute found myself really loving it. Simple effect, but excellent thinking ahead of the curve to eliminate as many voter questions as possible. Upvoted this every time it crossed my path, and it's apologetically one of my personal top 32. Good job.

Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9

I liked this item during voting.

Great name that - either incidentally or designed - feels like an homage to elder editions.

Great description of the item that is suitably creepy.

Wonderful tweak to mechanics.

Great understanding of just how those mechanics interact with the system.

All in all fabulous. Well done, congratulations and let's see an equally well-designed monster and more!

Grand Lodge Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7

this was my favorite item during voting.

congrats

Dark Archive

This is one of my favorites.

In Mutants & Masterminds, it's a standard feature to be able to change the saving throw type of an attack, but that's a rarer thing in D&D/PF. (Indeed, the only time I remember it in PF off the top of my head is in the Osirion Players Companion, where the Rod of Uraeus can conjure a stream of poison that acts like color spray, but uses a Fort save.)

Good detail on how various poison rules specifically apply to the mind-affecting spells. Nicely reasoned out.

RPG Superstar 2014 Top 32 , Star Voter Season 7 aka Total Biscuit

Patrick Renie wrote:
Format fail.

Well, Applesauce. I presume it was the spacing? I didn't want the writing to be all bunched up, but it seems I overdid it, heh. Also I didn't italicize 'fetish' in the last lines...

Judy Bauer wrote:
The writer really thought through the consequences and interactions with other spells.
Mike Welham wrote:
I thought this had a lot of unnecessary complication

I actually thought this item up based on the D&D rules, when I only had delay poison and neutralise poison to worry about. Then I did an idle search for poison in the PRD spells and had a mild panic attack at what it brought back. ;)

Patrick Renie wrote:
The writing is precise and finely wrought.
Scorba wrote:
this was my favorite item during voting.
Set wrote:
This is one of my favorites.
Thomas LeBlanc wrote:
This was my favorite item mechanically. Well thought out and a great name.
Oceanshieldwolf wrote:
All in all fabulous.

And now I'm hyperventilating. Thank you all!

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 8 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7 aka Demiurge 1138

Totally didn't see this during my voting, but I wish I had. This is one of my favorites of the Top 32. Flavorful and useful.

Congratulations, and best of luck in Round 2!

Shadow Lodge Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7

I never saw this one either. Kind of awesome.

No relation to the Youtube video game reviewer of the same username, I take? Did a bit of a double take when I saw the name.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka theheadkase

This was a good item that at first made my eyes loll in my head a bit...but once I buckled down and read it through I liked it. It wasn't my favorite but it was neat and weird. So well done!

Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 9

I really like this item except for one critical caevat: It's a rod of metamagic, just wrapped differently so it qualifies for the contest. most of these effects could be stripped out into a feat, and then it would be a new feat (that alters spell level by 2) and a new metamagic rod.

RPG Superstar 2014 Top 32 , Star Voter Season 7 aka Total Biscuit

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Orthos wrote:
No relation to the Youtube video game reviewer of the same username, I take? Did a bit of a double take when I saw the name.

No - I named myself before discovering him. He's a fan of Terry Pratchett too, it seems ;)

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9

Congratulations Terry,
Though I think it could be reigned in a little, you took a provocative theme (fort saves from wil saves) and wrote tightly. It shows a designers with the catching of spells like absorb toxicity and toxic gift. I expect you will go far. :)

Good luck on R2!

Shadow Lodge Star Voter Season 6

I'm pretty sure this item is actually broken. The requirement of just poison is a bit weak for what this item does. Poison represents the result, but there's are elements of change and mind-affecting here, and that should be reflected.

I'm not sure, off the top of my head, what you could have chosen - but you've pointed out some talent for finding some of the more obscure-related spells mechancially. It's a fixable oversight, and you'll want to find a way to raise the price using this to fix the whole item.

Maybe a downside that affects the holder by the same thing for x amount of rounds if they fail a fort save after having the item activated would have balanced it further.


Well done Total Biscuit! Superb item name. Great flavour and well written. You can go far in this competition.
I like the 'Metamagic Rod' style pricing and power levels applied to a Wondrous Magic Item.
The word "priest-king" bugged me until I checked and saw its from Paizo's Boggard descriptive text.

After reviewing above feedback the submission is almost flawless. I've managed to add two lines of clarification but this takes the item over 300 word count limit so it's understandable why such statements weren't originally included.
(342 words)

Fetish of the Frog Queen
Aura strong transmutation; CL 17th
Slot none; Price 9,000 gp (lesser), 32,500 gp (normal), 73,000 gp (greater); Weight 4 lbs.

Description
Created from the bodies of certain frogs whose poisons induce potent hallucinations and delusions, these mummified husks are variously cited as the invention of either grippli druids or an unusually cunning boggard priest-king. Regardless, their powers are a boon to any caster favouring mental manipulation and alteration.

Three times per day, while casting a targeted mind-affecting spell that allows a Will save, a caster holding a fetish can draw upon its powers to lace the spell's energies with a magical poisonous essence. Instead of affecting the target's mind directly, the altered spell attacks through the victim's body as a psychotropic toxin, necessitating a Fortitude save in place of any Will saves the spell normally allows.

An altered spell is considered a poison effect, with the following provisos:
• An opponent may end the spell by casting neutralise poison on the victim and making a successful caster level check
• Time spent suppressed by effects such as delay poison still counts against the spell's duration
Accelerate poison halves the spell's duration but does not affect saving throws
• An altered spell transferred to another target, such as by absorb toxicity, is still considered cast by the original caster for the purposes of adjudicating effects (whom a charmed victim regards as their friend, for example)
• Effects that duplicate poisons, such as toxic gift, cannot duplicate altered spells

An altered spell is still vulnerable to spell resistance, dispelling and other such effects as normal. Immunity or protection against mind-affecting effects no longer apply however creatures that are immune or resistant to poison now apply those bonuses.

Three varieties of fetish exist: lesser, normal, and greater. A lesser fetish affects spells of up to third level; a normal fetish affects spells of up to sixth level; and a greater fetish affects spells of up to ninth level.

Construction Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, poison; Cost 4,500 gp (lesser), 16,250 gp (normal), 36,500 gp (greater)

RPG Superstar 2014 Top 32 , Star Voter Season 7 aka Total Biscuit

RonarsCorruption wrote:
I really like this item except for one critical caevat: It's a rod of metamagic, just wrapped differently so it qualifies for the contest.

Drat, someone noticed :P I was a bit miffed I couldn't make it less rod-like - but I guess I shouldn't complain if it got me through...

Avatar-1 wrote:
I'm pretty sure this item is actually broken. The requirement of just poison is a bit weak for what this item does. Poison represents the result, but there's are elements of change and mind-affecting here, and that should be reflected.

Yeah - I thought I'd find something closer to what I wanted, but alas. I even considered a prismatic effect at one point - they're pretty much the only spells with a 'magic poison' in them. Or I'm pants at searching.

Silke wrote:

Well done Total Biscuit! Superb item name. Great flavour and well written. You can go far in this competition.

I like the 'Metamagic Rod' style pricing and power levels applied to a Wondrous Magic Item.

After reviewing above feedback the submission is almost flawless. I've managed to add two lines of clarification but this takes the item over 300 word count limit so it's understandable why such statements weren't originally included.

Protections against mind-affecting effects still apply - it affects the mind, just in a different way. I did want to add a line clarifying poison resistances etc work as normal, but yeah, word limit. Just assume anything poison-related works as normal unless otherwise stated :P And thank you for your appreciation!

Nicholas Herold wrote:
Totally didn't see this during my voting, but I wish I had. This is one of my favorites of the Top 32. Flavorful and useful.
Curaigh wrote:

Congratulations Terry,

Though I think it could be reigned in a little, you took a provocative theme (fort saves from wil saves) and wrote tightly. It shows a designers with the catching of spells like absorb toxicity and toxic gift. I expect you will go far. :)

Good luck on R2!

theheadkase wrote:
This was a good item that at first made my eyes loll in my head a bit...but once I buckled down and read it through I liked it. It wasn't my favorite but it was neat and weird. So well done!

Thank you!

RPG Superstar 2014 Top 32, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8

I liked this and upvoted it during the voting. Nice mechanics that fit the flavour.

Congrats!

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16 , Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka JoelF847

I have to agree with RonarsCorruption - that was my first thought when I read this - Metamagic rod. I hadn't seen it during the voting, but it would have gotten my downvote almost always because I feel that this is skirting the wondrous item requirement of the rules. Just like many submissions are really magic weapons in disguise, this is really a metamagic rod in disguise.

As for the effects, I'd be far to concerned how this could break the game - spells already target certain saves for a reason - a mind affecting spell should have an easier time affecting a non-spellcaster in general, and spellcasters and high wisdom characters should have a better defense around this.

Congrats on making it in, and while I know your monster is already submitted, I'd caution against skirting requirements like this - it could negatively impact your votes going forward.

RPG Superstar 2014 Top 32 , Star Voter Season 7 aka Total Biscuit

Joel Flank wrote:

I have to agree with RonarsCorruption - that was my first thought when I read this - Metamagic rod. I hadn't seen it during the voting, but it would have gotten my downvote almost always because I feel that this is skirting the wondrous item requirement of the rules. Just like many submissions are really magic weapons in disguise, this is really a metamagic rod in disguise.

As for the effects, I'd be far to concerned how this could break the game - spells already target certain saves for a reason - a mind affecting spell should have an easier time affecting a non-spellcaster in general, and spellcasters and high wisdom characters should have a better defense around this.

Congrats on making it in, and while I know your monster is already submitted, I'd caution against skirting requirements like this - it could negatively impact your votes going forward.

Yeah, I was worried about that when I submitted. Then I realized a couple days later it would have worked much better as, say, a material component - more wondrous, less abuse potential. Skin of the Frog Queen, maybe. But thank you for an honest appraisal!

Kalervo Oikarinen wrote:

I liked this and upvoted it during the voting. Nice mechanics that fit the flavour.

Congrats!

Thank you!

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