Pathfinder One-line


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I must not be getting half-orc more of these...


Gedichtewicht wrote:
humans: able to stand on their own two feat at level 1.

Human fighters: able to stand on their... doh!

Human fighters: makes the halfling rogue look 2 feats shorter.


not a joke but looks like a bad one: goblin shark


Clerics pray on the weak.


This has grown pathfinderological.


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Proxima Sin wrote:
Clerics pray on the weak.

O_O all week?


Not to bludgeon you with the obvious but there is some pretty piercing material here posted by you sharp people.


hmm, so lets all take a bow (and some arrows) and set out to make matters worse, shall we?

Proxima Sin wrote:
Clerics pray on the weak.

...i also heared that - clerics do it on their knees

Scarab Sages

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Elephants are a Babarian's favorite animal.


Rogues do it from behind.


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How do you know you're about to die?

The cleric says "aawwsdsadsadsawsadwsawdsda" in chat.


Paladins do it and feel guilty about it later.

Scarab Sages

Paladins can use Lay on Hands solo.


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Okay I was going to play nice and space these out as I thought of them but I can't hold it in anymore.

Bards only do it when lots of people are watching.
Druids do it like a beast.
Rangers do it from 100 feet away.
Mages do it just not as many times a day as sorcerers can do it.

Fighters do it whenever they have the opportunity.


Proxima Sin wrote:

Bards only do it when lots of people are watching.

Druids do it like a beast.
Rangers do it from 100 feet away.
Mages do it just not as many times a day as sorcerers can do it.

Fighters do it whenever they have the opportunity.

Okay how many more can you manufacture and how fast can you deliver them? I will bay top rubels for bad puns.


Frick frack snack pack ticky tack man I just want to make "Fighters do it whenever they have the opportunity" my signature but they don't have them here. :o(


'Fighters do it at every opportunity' is easier to say. Just a suggestion. Love your sense of humor Proxima ;)


Proxima Sin wrote:
Mages do it just not as many times a day as sorcerers can do it.

My favorite so far.


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Proxima Sin wrote:
Druids do it like a beast.

Btw, Druids do it with an Animal Companion.


Qallz wrote:
Proxima Sin wrote:
Druids do it like a beast.
Btw, Druids do it with an Animal Companion.

WHOA! Crossed a line there. Let's dial it back a notch please.


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Rogues do it in groups
Wizards do it by the book
Rangers do it outside
Shadowdancers do it in plain sight
Barbarians do it if they are in the mood

Necromancers do it... whoa, there's that line again.


Necromancers do it with spirit.

Scarab Sages

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Diviners like to watch.


Abjurers do it with protection
Summoners do it with someone else
Evokers do it spectacularly
Enchanters make you do it yourself
Transmuters do it differently
Illusionists do it only in your imagination


-Gunslingers do it gritty
-Summoners do it with their eidolon
-monks do it in silence
-sorcerers do it spontaneous
-all spellcasters like to do it aftera good nights sleep
-alchemists do it loud
-ninjas like to to it in the dark


Gedichtewicht wrote:


-monks do it in silence

~monks like to do in the lotus position


You don't even know ninjas did it till it's done.

Have a problem doing it? Alchemists have the solution.

Scarab Sages

Banesama wrote:
Gedichtewicht wrote:


-monks do it in silence
~monks like to do in the lotus position

~Monks do it with an open hand

~Monks do it animal style
~Monks can make you quiver with just a palm.
~Monks have many uses for the Tongue of the Sun and Moon.
~Monks do it to the Wholeness of [your] Body.

I was going to do one about Flurry of Blows, but though it might be crossing the line.


Why would I want a girlfriend when I can just cast Mage Hand?


Qallz wrote:
Why would I want a girlfriend when I can just cast Mage Hand?

Because fedoras come with a 95% chance of arcane spell failure.


Pale Masters do it where the sun don't shine.


Imbicatus wrote:
Paladins can use Lay on Hands solo.

And it's a swift action!

Digital Products Assistant

Removed some derailing posts and moved to Forum Games. Please revisit the messageboard rules.


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An elf, a human, and a half-orc walk into a bar. The gnome walks right under it.

Scarab Sages

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Actual quotes from other posters' signatures back on the wizards.com messageboards:

Player: Why does it say idiot3 on my character sheet?
DM: Wait, what? That's 1d10+3!

"Who will follow me!? We're going off campus for pizza! For Pizza!!!" - Tobias, 3rd year human Marshall

Now, then: Reap the whirlwind, for I have come prepared!

Neutral Neutral does it without anyone else getting involved
Lawful Neutral does it with a rod up its ass
Chaotic Neutral does it strangely
Lawful Evil does it with whips and chains
Neutral Evil does it for money
Chaotic Evil does it savagely
Lawful Good does it out of duty
Neutral Good does it with as many people as possible
Chaotic Good does it freely
Rogues do it from behind
Fighters do it with special moves
Druids do it like animals
Paladins do it with zeal
Antipaladins do it with the bad touch
Rangers do it in the woods
Sorcerers do it naturally
Wizards do it with reading material
Psions do it in their minds
Monks do it with their hands
Clerics do it on their knees
Bards do it to music
Barbarians do it angrily
Scouts do it in every position
Necromancers do it with corpses
Abjurers do it with protection
Conjurers do it with extra partners
Evokers do it by the fire
Diviners watch other people do it
Illusionists only pretend to do it
Enchanters have other people do it for them
Transmuters do it with inanimate objects
Artificers do it with gadgets
Alchemists do it with chemical ehancements
Swashbucklers do it with an advance, retract, advance, thrust, retract, LUNGE, thrust....
Binders do it first thing in the morning
Shadowcasters do it in the dark
Truenamers do it with their tongues
Marshalls bark out orders when they do it
Mountebanks do it exploitatively
Savants know many different ways to do it
Courtiers do it with style
Samurai do it lightning-fast
Inkyo do it gently
Mariners do it on the beach
Shamans do it with fetishes
Wilders do it passionately
Soulknives do it with a violent thrusting motion
Shugenja do it with incense
Sha'irs do it with a lot of rubbing
Cavaliers do it with horses
Oracles do it with fluid in their eyes
Ninja do it by surprise
Gunslingers do it in explosive bursts
Archivists do it out of sacred texts
Magi do it with just one hand
Inquisitors do it missionary-style
Summoners do it with their special friends
Witches do it with just a look
Jesters do it standing up
Warlocks do it nonstop


Heeeeey, a lot of that's 3.5 stuff. :P

Scarab Sages

Shane Gifford wrote:
Heeeeey, a lot of that's 3.5 stuff. :P

I said I'd come already prepared....

Q: What did the epic-level Cleric say to the 17th-level Wizard?

A: "Your wish is my command!"

Liberty's Edge

My character strikes like lightning...never in the same place twice.

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