>>Gary Teter asks ALL his questions here!<<


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Paizo Employee PostMonster General

gran rey de los bacon wrote:
Where is my bacon?

Did you check the fridge? If you can smell the bacon, check the stove or oven. Someone may have even put bacon in the microwave, so check there too.

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

Thomas LeBlanc wrote:
The question is, can you afford not to know?

Can I pay you Tuesday?

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

Jiggy wrote:
Depends; are you looking for desserts or shoes?

Yes.

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
Is it too much to expect both?

Unless they're actually inseparable, probably yes.

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

Kilrex wrote:
They didn't add a racing stripe?

No, they ran out of budget for the stripe, so instead they're all standing around making whooshing noises.

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

AinvarG wrote:
Not reality or not TV?

My mental Venn diagram for the intersection of reality and TV is starting to look more like a crescent moon every day.

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

SnowJade wrote:
Do you think they'd know if you sort of substituted something like, say, a really big asteroid?

If the recipe calls for chicken, you can't just substitute anything else for chicken. I don't know why exactly, but the taste of chicken isn't actually transitive.

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

SnowJade wrote:
Who'd know?

Oh I think you know who'd know.

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

BigDTBone wrote:
I'm sorry, are those supposed to be different things?

Man I know it's just a drawing on the fridge but seriously can't you tell an elephant from a banana?

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

AinvarG wrote:
Is this the squeaky door?

Yeah whatever we throw into the vortex just comes back squeaking like a damn lab mouse.

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

AinvarG wrote:
Will that set off the scary doll's rampage special ability?

We can only hope. There's only a narrow window of opportunity when we can distract the guardian. I think we might need fire.

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

feytharn wrote:
Why would you try to avoid the dolls destruction in this case?

The. Case. Is. Rigged. If we destroy the doll in the case we release something really really bad. And it'll be hungry.


Did someone put some creamer out of space in the PMG's coffee?

If so, can I have some?

Spoiler:
Or is he testing some sekret anti-spamming code that forces a poster cooldown after several rapid fire messages?

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

Google, Demon Queen of Spiders wrote:
How about I bring Hell here instead?

That's fine but please use the back entrance this time. People are starting to talk.


Woah. Wait a minute.

When did Gary start *answering* questions?

This feels like walking into a room full of adult Justin Bieber fans. Some things are just *wrong*.

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

BigDTBone wrote:
Oh noes, where's Will Smith at?

I don't know, I've been waiting for the same answer but the noes are silent. Maybe I should have brought more than candy wrappers in propitiation.

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

Limeylongears wrote:
The main question is, why wasn't William of Orange a) actually orange or b) actually an orange?

Re-check your premises.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Matt Thomason wrote:
This feels like walking into a room full of adult Justin Bieber fans. Some things are just *wrong*.

This will make you feel better.

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

Limeylongears wrote:
Why has history lied to us?

History doesn't lie, people lie about history, at least until it's forgotten entirely.

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

Limeylongears wrote:
WHO IS RESPONSIBLE?

We're pretty much responsible for our own little parts of everything. Collectively we're still working out the best way to assign responsibility for larger chunks.

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

Oladon wrote:
Do you have a left and right?!

Let's talk chirality / they think they're onto me / but they on wrong like mittens supposed to be / that's right your other left dummy

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

1 person marked this as a favorite.
SnowJade wrote:
You thought you'd dreamed it, maybe?

Oh! I have a handy hint for this. If you can't tell if you're dreaming, just


Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
Matt Thomason wrote:
This feels like walking into a room full of adult Justin Bieber fans. Some things are just *wrong*.
This will make you feel better.

Whew. Thanks. Reality feels somewhat more solid now.

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

gran rey de los mono wrote:
Shred the couch instead of the $100 scratching post, hork up a handful of hairballs, poop in the shoes, and leave copious quantities of shed fur all over the damn place?

It's like you read my mind. Don't mind if I do!


Gary Teter wrote:
I HAVE STICKS THROUGH MY HEAD! wrote:
What?
I said, "Isn't it hard to hear with those sticks through your head?"

What?

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

How much of the dust on the record player used to be me?

Sczarni RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

It depends how many times you scratched your head while standing over it.


Gary Teter wrote:
How much of the dust on the record player used to be me?

Less than you fear/hope.

Just blame the cat.


Gary Teter wrote:
How much of the dust on the record player used to be me?

All of it is yous. The other Teters from parallel continuities are using Dyson Quantum Dualities vacuums to suck up all the you dust from their realities and shunt it to yours.


5 people marked this as a favorite.
Gary Teter wrote:
How much of the dust on the record player used to be me?

this question is head and shoulders above the rest.

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

Heathansson wrote:
Gary,....I reckon... you know a lot about... cyberspace? You ever come across anything... like time travel?

Yes. There has been research.

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Matt Thomason wrote:
When did Gary start *answering* questions?

May 5, around 2:29 p.m.


Gary Teter wrote:
Matt Thomason wrote:
When did Gary start *answering* questions?
May 5, around 2:29 p.m.

As long as it isn't 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th.

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

What is it with bedtime?!

Sczarni RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

Its aso known as the hour before the magic happens, by parents the world over.


Gary Teter wrote:
What is it with bedtime?!

Don’t worry. This is the hardest bit. They’ll soon be teenagers – which is a breeze!


Pathfinder Companion, Maps Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Gary Teter wrote:
What is it with bedtime?!

I now get, "I can't go to bed!" Followed by all the things he has to do instead. Followed by carrying the kicking and screaming child to bed. So it hasn't gotten better here yet. :)

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

What do you call those stripey parts on the outside of the inside of a banana?


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber
Gary Teter wrote:
What do you call those stripey parts on the outside of the inside of a banana?

Technically, they're called phloem bundles.

As a kid, we always just called them "banana strings." Maybe we were just weird, but the kids in my school liked to collect them at lunch, and throw them at each other at recess.

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

Do I want to put the lettuce in the Humidity Controlled Crisper set to "Lo" or "Hi"?


Yes.


Well you could do it the dwarf way - swap between the 2.

♫ Hi- Lo, Hi - Lo, lettuce crisp you go. ♪


Crisper bins on refrigerators are keepers of Schrödinger's Verschränkung veggies. Unless you open the bin, your veggies (like Yellowdingo's mangos) exist in a quantum superposition, being simultaneously both perfectly fresh and Moander-level rotten. Thankfully, you have a child, as the number one job of children is to collapse this waveform into a quantifiable result; usually this occurs when the parent gives a child a bit to nibble after announcing "This smells off; here, you taste it and tell me if it's still good."

Recently, a milkman left a delivery on my doorstep. If you know how to get the milk out of the Klein bottles or the wedge of cheese out of it's wax tesseract rind, please let me know.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Isn't it veggies high and fruit low?


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Mairkurion {tm} wrote:
Isn't it veggies high and fruit low?

EEK! A ghost! {runs away}

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

What's the difference between every other day and three times a week?


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Weekends.


Gary Teter wrote:
What's the difference between every other day and three times a week?

The answer is likely related to that Beatles song.

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

1 person marked this as a favorite.

If your backyard is 200 square paces, and has 25 small pine cones per square pace embedded in the lawn and under the turf, which take 10 to 20 minutes per square pace to locate and remove, do you clear the pine cones before mowing? Clearing just the pine cones which might catch in the mower blades takes five minutes per square pace.

Because reasons, the following are apparently Not Open for Further Discussion as possible solutions: Establishing a tiger preserve; the use of fire, poison, heavy construction equipment including backhoes and excavator-diggers, any sort of laser or other coherent collimating radiation, radiation in basically any useful or glowing form, any lawnmower bot based on internal combustion powered chainsaws; any solution based on technologies provided by the people who come through the forest on the other side of the fence; any solution that involves strapping anything good (technically "dangerous") to the boy; the importation or use of livestock which require any food except pine cones; the creation of livestock which find pine cones irresistible; establishing a leopard preserve.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

You need a pinecone sucker.

Or this one, to pull behind your hugh-mongous tractor.

Bonus-wise, their utility is not limited to pinecones, but also includes dog 'problems', bones, small animals, insects, toys, pets, and neighbors.

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