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511b: Orphans look to villain and then begin the Questions. "Mister, what's an ebil act? Why are you promising and acting silly? Is this part of the story? Why is li'l Tarrasque ebil?"
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512. Reading the Pathfinder rulebook. Give the players a few seconds to realize it's for the organization, not the game.
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Decorating his Christmas tree while singing carols.
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513:
Decorating his Christmas tree while singing carols.
513E: It's an Treant that he killed by chopping it down.
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514. Making ornaments for his Christmas Treant by petrifying people, painting the statues, and then shrinking them down.
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515. Picking a lock
Comic version: picking their nose
Social version: Picking their friends
Just disturbing version: picking their friend's nose
Co-hosting a cooking show with Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg.
Pole dancing.
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519. Pole dancing while the princess he "kidnapped" watches and critiques his technique.
521. Saying a dramatic line aimed at the person that is scrying him... and then his mom walks in and scolds the villain for being a nerd that pretends people are scrying on him.
The villain yells at his mom for not supporting his lifestyle, and then he continues with another line after she leaves (note- the new line makes it abundantly clear that he has not actually noticed anything about the party).
522. He's scrying. Not on the party, not on his enemies, not on his minions. He's got his feet up on a comfy ottoman, a nice glass of wine, and using his crystal ball to look into the future...for movie previews. This dastardly foe knew how Infinity War would end before the rest of us and MAY have leaked the ending....
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523. Sitting through the big dance number of a cabaret performance being put on by his goblin minions, pretending to be unamused, even though he makes them do this a couple times a year. (It takes them that long to replenish their numbers between shows...)
524. Giving mandatory safety talks to his household guard and servants about touching cursed relics, entering magically defended areas of the estate, putting your hands near the flesh-eating horses mouths or going anywhere near the hell hounds at any time for any reason. ('Cause hell hounds don't play.)
525. Choosing his next evil outfit from a half-dozen suits being modeled by simulacra whose entire job is to handle public appearances, and who are stored like ambulatory coat-racks in a literal 'walk in' closet when not 'in use.'
526. Attending a funeral. The villain is in a semi private space, weeping openly, possibly uncontrollably. Once they notice they are being scryed, they look at the scryer with no small amount of contempt, and state angrily that they need some privacy, there shall be no war between them this day, or for the next ten.
529. Grooming his familiar...so to speak.
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532. Making a girlfriend(Flesh Golem.)
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533. Smelling the hair of children.
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535. Playing chess with real people. Sadly he couldn't afford *real* Kings and Queens and Bishops for his 'chess pieces,' so he's got goblins dressed up as pawns, and human commoners as knights, bishops, etc.
536. Making goblins play a version of hopscotch that involves glyphs of warding and explosive runes etched onto the floor. "Hop, skip, kaboom!" "Okay, that didn't work. Now *you* try..."
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537. He's got a computer and he's running a bot that accuses posters of thread necromancy if the topic was over a week old.
538. At his day job, working away seriously. Once he notices he is being scryed he exasperatedly yells at the scryer for their lack of decorum, creativity, and industrious essential. "Get a life and a job, in that order!"
539. Helping a woman give birth, with a look of utter shock on his face. She gives one final push and the crying baby comes out. The villain starts to cry as he wraps up the baby.
540. Said villain, not a particularly physical type, is beating the absolute crap out of someone the PC recognizes. A small child is in the background, looking horrified. The villain, with effort, composes himself, picks up the person he has soundly beaten, and says "Never speak to me or my son ever again!" before grabbing the child by the arm and stomping off.
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542: Trying out his villain monolog in front of his collection of MLP Stuffies. (He brought them to life by imprisoning his enemies' life force in them.)