"Don't bother coming tonight" - how can I say it nicely?


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See the end of the post for the TL;DR version; continue reading for the full description of my conundrum.

For context, I run a Legacy of Fire game (original 3.5) every Tuesday night, in my own home (not my house; I live with my mother, her fiance, and his two daughters, both around my age).

One of my players, one of the aforementioned fiance's daughters, has a habit of being late for the game - which is weird, since it's in our home. We both live here. Yet she has a habit of going out, and not telling anyone where she is or how long she's going to be. She has a mobile phone, but she doesn't text anyone, leave a note on the fridge, let anyone else who's home know where she's going - if we ask as she's leaving, she just says she's going "out". "Oh, when will you be back?" "Don't know."

Several times, she's been late for the game without prior notice, or just plain not shown up at all. She's walked in halfway through the game, or come home halfway through and just gone straight to her room, or she's just not been home at all for the four hours it's on. Sometimes she's at work, sometimes she's at her mother's, sometimes she has no reason for being out. Again - this is always, without exception, entirely without notice.

Last week, when she was an hour late to the game, I asked her afterwards if she could please give me prior notice if she was going to be absent or late - the more the better, as I sometimes need time to make sure the encounters are balanced. She said she would, but I didn't fully believe her, as we'd had that conversation half a dozen times before that point.

Today - the day of the game - I go to the shops for a few things. When I get back home, this player is gone. I ask her sister where she is, sister doesn't know. When will she be home, no idea. Does she know it's D&D night, I guess so.

So I send her a text message. "Hey, will you still be home in time for the game tonight?" I fully expect her to ignore me, as she has a tendency (on top of all this) to get snarky when I ask her such things.

She calls me. "Yes, as far as I know, I WILL be home in time, since I haven't CALLED OR TEXTED YOU. F****** calm down, it's not even one o'clock." It's hard to convey the tone over text, but she was practically shouting at me, and then hunbg up before I could get another word in.

Being an extraordinarily sensitive person, it reduced me to tears, and now that I've calmed down, I'm wondering if I even want to continue playing with this person. It's not like the party will suffer for losing one of its two barbarians. The only in-game complication I can see is that she's the moldspeaker. The out-of-game complications are far more severe.

My question to you, fellow forumites, is this: what should I do in this situation? The game starts in three hours. I want to tell her not to bother sitting at the table, but I don't know how to say it without being just as snarky and horrible as her. Even my boyfriend (the party's other barbarian) is saying he doesn't want to continue playing with someone so hostile. What would you do in this situation, and how would you suggest I deal with this?

The TL;DR version:
-Player lives with me.
-Player has a history of nonattendance/tardiness without notice.
-I ask the player if she'll be here for the game; she responds in a hostile fashion.
-Myself (DM) and at least one other player have been affected and offended by this behaviour.
-How do I tell her not to bother showing up without lasting repercussions?

Silver Crusade

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Ah, the open communication question.

My take on it:
1. Sit down with her.
2. Talk to her.
3. Ask her if she's got something else going on, and would like to just maybe hang out later instead of game.
4. Decide whether you can deal with this insensitivity. (Personally I would not, especially if others are affected.)

But hey, since starting with a better group I don't put up with this sort of crap from folks. Just sayin'.


I've tried talking to her directly and asking her whether she usually has something else on. She works at McDonald's, and sometimes gets shifts without much notice. But again, she lives with me and three other people - making sure I know in advance, or just as she's heading out, really isn't hard for her to do.

I've also just realized if I tell her she's not welcome at the table anymore, it will cause another family issue - my mother and her fiance tend to argue quite a bit, and if there's a problem with us kids, he'll take the side of his daughters, while she'll take the side of hers. If I refuse to play with this player anymore, it's likely to turn into another "us vs. them" situation.


Judging by your reply I didn't see when making mine, I was right about the first paragraph.

Project Manager

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Removed sexist insults. Not acceptable here.

Sovereign Court

I'd simply, but politely, in an even handed tone of voice tell her not to bother coming home for the game.
But then, I'm the kind of person who would stand in a copper tub full of water on top of a hill during a thunderszorm, yelling ”all gods are bastards. Especially zeus!” If it would get me get my way.
Or simply act as if she isn't playing, and if she comes zo the game on time add a monster. If she is late, inform her that she is late and that you have begun the game without her.


I would say there are several ways to deal with a situation like this. First, it's time for a serious sit down chat about mutual respect. She brought you to tears with her mistreatment of you and that should not be. This can be a group discussion, or it can be delivered by the GM privately. In either case, it should be a simple process of saying that things are not working out and that people are not enjoying things like they're supposed to when the group is incomplete/changing due to lates and absences. Whether or not you decide to keep her in the group, her treatment of you should not be so bad as to harm you. This is the first concern.
Second, to get closure with the attendance, which you have recently and repeatedly addressed already, let her that you're concerned about her missing meetings and that it is affecting the group. Here you may find more than you bargained for. Judging by the hostile response and the unusual behaviour, I wonder if there is something private/secret that your player is doing around game time that she can't get out of/doesn't want people to know about. With that being said, I'm not a professional psychologist, and I'm going only off what you've posted, so I could be out to lunch. What we do know is that there is some reason that she is not able to make the meeting times.

Hope that helps and good luck.


In short, you don’t. If she is already acting in a hostile manner, it is likely anything you do will only exacerbate the situation. Furthermore, if you honestly feel that you telling her to stop coming is likely to cause a great debacle at your home (assuming you don’t want such an occurrence), it simply isn’t worth the risk to try. Now that said, it isn’t fair to pile up the pressure and stress on yourself over the situation, so what I would suggest is to simply design events with her not being there as the norm, and simply be pleasantry surprised when she does show, and do your best for on the fly adjustments to compensate (three of one mob instead of two can save you from having to actually rebuild from scratch).

If you’re really lucky, in time she will calm down and start showing up more regularly. Honestly, I don’t know the specifics of your home life, but if your mother and her fiancée argue frequently, it may simply be hard for her to be home. The hostility you’re receiving in return for asking her relatively small things like when she’ll be home, etc. might just be her lashing out against you since she can’t do so to the real stressors. Stuff like that can affect people in a lot of different ways. Note, though, I by no means wish to imply any fault on your part, simply that there just may be some factors that are making her behave poorly.

Even if she doesn’t start showing regularly, though, it shouldn’t make things worse (I hope) to simply plan as if she won’t show always.

Sovereign Court

Yeah, maybe the best thing you can do is simply work around her. Treat the game as if she isn't going to be there. It's easy to compensate for additonal players.


Are you sure you want to keep gaming in this situation? Maybe it's time for a break.


It's possible that she games with you (to the extent that she does) because she wants to hang out with you because you are future stepsiblings. Another possibility is that she hangs out with her friends when she doesn't attend, and tells her father that she spent the evening at the game. The issue might not be related to the game, even though it affects the game.

Even though it sounds like you've gone above and beyond the call of duty in the sensitivity department, it might require a different kind of sensitivity. You mother and her fiancee might see you as a responsible influence, and might have encouraged her to spend more time with you (it sounds like she can be insensitive and/or irresponsible). So one possible baseline assumption is that she wants to join the game every week and an issue interferes with that, and another possible baseline assumption is that she joins the game when she doesn't make other plans, and the game is not a priority. Either way, I like the advice to plan on her not joining and to adjust if she shows up. And I hope I'm not being insensitive to you. It sounds like your mother and her fiancee might be expecting you to shoulder more than a reasonable amount of responsibility, and I'm adding my thoughts on how to interpret the situation.


Hama wrote:
Yeah, maybe the best thing you can do is simply work around her. Treat the game as if she isn't going to be there. It's easy to compensate for additonal players.

If the issue, as I understand it, boils down to "how do I tell a player that usually doesn't show, not to bother showing up", I think the above is a pretty good suggestion if you want to avoid direct confrontation.

Let her know when the game is on, but don't go out of your way to remind her or ask her if she can make it. Don't nag. Just assume she won't, and if she do, hey, bonus player.

Besides, who knows, she might actually notice that you stop caring whether she shows, which could prompt her to take action (whether to leave the group more officially, take a greater interest in the game, or whatever.)

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

Turn her character into an on again off again mercenary. If you are worried about this affecting your family dynamic talk to her parent and tell him the situation, ask what he thinks, and let him know what you're doing so that she can't spring this on him and start drama. If you know this could cause friction it's best to try and control the message so that it stays what it is, you trying to schedule an event with family and friends, rather then a fight amongst a newly formed family.

Other thing remember that her dad doesn't nessecarily have to know all the ins & outs of pen & paper gaming just make sure he understands that you work hard to make this work and when someone keeps leaving you twisting in the wind it can really mess with the experience you and what seems to be a large chunk of your family have.


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I'm an asexual starfish.

But anyway, another suggestion is that in this potentially hostile environment, you may want to consider taking the game to someone else's home. If you simply go out every Tuesday then come back its out of sight out of mind to the sister and gives her less incentive to be involved as she'd have to travel to go to the game.


My advice? Stop waiting around for this person and just move the game on without them. If this person gave a crap about your game, they'd prioritize at least a little, and bother showing up more often.

If this person gets upset that you gamed without them, remind them of when the game starts, and how often this person makes it a point to not bother showing up. If they want to play, they'll play.

You can try the whole "sit down, coffee-talk, afterschool special" bit with them, which normally works, but given the hostility and flat-out apathy shoved in your direction regarding the game, I don't think I'd bother trying to figure them out. If you talk to them, do it casually, not like a sit-down confrontation.

If anything, just casually ask them "Hey, I see you've been pretty busy lately. Do you want to take a break from gaming?" At this point if they waffle and act like nothings wrong, mention that they are frequently late and miss a lot, and it's messing up the game for everyone else. If they still want to play, it's cool, but they need to be a little more prompt, or at the very least, improve communication.


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Thanks for the advice, everyone. Since most of you seem to be suggesting the same thing, that's what I'll do: I'll stop chasing after this player, and prepare the game as if she won't be there. If she shows up, great, if not, no loss. Guess I'll just wait and see how much she really wants to be in the game.

Sovereign Court

Good luck, keep us posted on new developments...

Project Manager

Deleted off-topic posts. If you have questions or issues with moderation decisions, please feel free to contact a moderator.


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El Ronza wrote:

-Player lives with me.

-Player has a history of nonattendance/tardiness without notice.
-I ask the player if she'll be here for the game; she responds in a hostile fashion.
-Myself (DM) and at least one other player have been affected and offended by this behaviour.
-How do I tell her not to bother showing up without lasting repercussions?

I have step brothers and sisters... so I know there are layers of issues way beyond a simple game or being polite to others going on in the background here.

That said, You are BOTH acting impolite at this point. She by treating attendance as whenever I feel like it. How are YOU being impolite? You asked her to notify you before missing or being late to a game... THEN before she even had a chance to to it again started getting on her case about missing the game (that hadn't even started yet). She was rude to you in return and you cried... why? You WERE being rude to her first, so why the suddenly hurt feelings over a situation YOU started. Games are supposed to be fun, if you are acting rude and crying then this is way more than a game to you. Maybe you should stop running the game for a short bit. Get your feelings straightened out first and then return to the game.

If you do decide to keep running then by all means Give her a chance to mess up again before accusing her. If she does mess up again then and only then issue her an ultimatum to notify you ahead of time or be booted from the game, and YES please WAIT till after she messes up again. Why? Because doing so right now will be absolutely unfair. You gave her another chance before you started the drama. Why not show some faith in her for a change and give her the benefit of the doubt till she does it again?

TL;DR version:
- You have no faith in your sister and treat her that way.
- She in return treats your event as whenever I feel like it.
- These sorts of behavior patterns have a tendency to just spiral on and on. So why not break the pattern? Treat her with the respect and faith that you don't give her. And watch her start to act better toward you as well. Have you told her you miss her at the games and are sad when she doesn't show? It might be a start.


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Player chasing seems to be a reoccurring theme I'm seeing. It seems like something that should be added to DM Advice pages: If the player shows a lack of concern for the game, you may want to just let them go.


Here's what I would do. This is purely my preference. It partly comes down to play style and some people will detest mine I'm sure.

Assume she won't be there. Track the location of the character in game world. If she shows up mid session and the party has travelled or entered a dungeon or something, she is welcome to join the table but her character is still wherever she was last time the player was present. It's up to the group whether they want to break the flow of the adventure to return to where that character was and retrieve her. She can't just *poof* and fast travel to join the party.

That's what I would do. I wouldn't kick someone I lived with out of the game, it would just cause to many difficulties I imagine.


My group typically starts around 11am. This means, of course, that two of my players (who carpool) arive typically around 12 or 12:30. We start without them, and have the other two players play the other characters.

That's how we solve it, anyway.


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Slaunyeh wrote:
Hama wrote:
Yeah, maybe the best thing you can do is simply work around her. Treat the game as if she isn't going to be there. It's easy to compensate for additonal players.

If the issue, as I understand it, boils down to "how do I tell a player that usually doesn't show, not to bother showing up", I think the above is a pretty good suggestion if you want to avoid direct confrontation.

Let her know when the game is on, but don't go out of your way to remind her or ask her if she can make it. Don't nag. Just assume she won't, and if she do, hey, bonus player.

Besides, who knows, she might actually notice that you stop caring whether she shows, which could prompt her to take action (whether to leave the group more officially, take a greater interest in the game, or whatever.)

This ^^

I posted before I finished reading the whole thread and now that I have, I see that some others had similar advice to mine, but this one is the closest in spirit to what I would do.

The key is not only to avoid counting on her to show up, but also to do so without resentment, and to be genuinely welcoming when she does show up.

But remember, if you're like me and have certain preferences of play style that can be disrupted by an on-again off-again party member, you don't have to compromise those necessarily. If you do, you will just start to resent the players poor attendance again, and she will sense that.

So if it breaks your verisimilitude or immersion or whatever to have a character *poofing* in and out of the action whenever the player comes or goes, or earning XP for encounters the player was not present for, then run your game the way you want and make sure she knows it's nothing personal.

The worst that can happen is that her character trails behind in levels, and while this era of d&d derived gaming certainly does assume a party of equal level, it is not so impossible to run for a party of mixed levels as everyone makes it out to be.

{actually you are running an AP which I haven't done, so I can't attest for that. I'm speaking from the point of view of mostly homebrew gaming.}


Stop asking her to come.

It sounds like she doesn't want too anyway. Gently remind her once in a while "Game night is Wednesday, would love it if you could be here!" and THAT 'S IT! Don't ride her about something she isn't interested in. You can't MAKE someone want to play. Personally I've never had to beg someone to come game with me, if they don't show and don't respond I move forward with my plans and enjoy the game. Because games are supposed to be fun, you know.

Also,not to be rude, but it sounds like this is a symptom of your and hers family coming together. I don't know the whole backstory here, liek who moved into who's house, but was she a gamer before the two families co-habitated? If no, maybe she is only gaming out of a sense of obligation to the new family members. Again, not trying to be rude, but there is a lot of drama that sounds like it comes from non-gaming sources,like the stress of new family members, etc.

At worst you should be is cordial to her. If she outbursts and misbehaves and swears, that's on her. Always take the high road, especially with people who, liek them or not, will be in your life for years to come.


One of my regular players was always late -- it was just part of her personality. So I'd tell her that the game would start at 11 and tell everyone else that it started at noon (on a Sunday). When she arrived at noon, she was right on time! :)

I don't know if this will actually help in your particular situation, but I agree with the others. Plan for her not to be there and then you're pleasantly surprised when she arrives. Depending on the situation, I might have her character as a "ride-along." She's there, but she doesn't actually do anything until the player is there.

Good luck!


Let us know how it goes.

Silver Crusade

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I have a no reward or xp for missing players. Makes players show up more often if they risk missing out on things, and start to fall behind the other characters.

Though I also have a bonus for characters who are below the average party level, so they can catch up.

Also have the late player wait till their is a logical break in the game for their character to show up, as missing player usually means character not there as well.

I've stated this up from for my games, also noting that if they can convince another player to play their character they will be included in the rewards, but they need to arrange that before the game starts.

And they know I generally start at a set time every game so its no great surprise to see the game already started if they are late.

Dark Archive

Make Rules sheet for your game, have everyone sign it. and when she breaks it.. kill her character, Fill her space and move on!


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Came late to this one and haven't read other comments, but reading the whole OP pretty closely, I notice something.

This player does not seem to mind at all that you played without her.

Normally, being one of the old men of the forum, I am firmly in the "you'll have to talk this out and make a decision (likely asking her to leave) sooner or later, and sooner is best" camp.

But tonight, The Dude in me is saying, "@#$% it, man."

If she doesn't care that you are playing without her, then just start the game without her. Keep an extra couple monsters ready if/when she shows up, and include them to increase the challenge if she bothers to appear.

Otherwise, don't take any of this personally. Clearly she has HER issues, and those issues are indeed, HERS. Not yours. Don't make them yours. Give her a big smile if she shows up, have enough fun to make her wish she'd shown up earlier, and ignore her otherwise.


"Your frequent unannounced nonattendance has been really disrupting the game lately. I can understand if there is something preventing you from attending, but if this is going to keep up without you even giving us a heads-up, i think it might be better for everyone involved if we continued the game without you."

This is how you ay it diplomatically. It also gives the player a chance to explain or better herself.


El Ronza wrote:

I've tried talking to her directly and asking her whether she usually has something else on. She works at McDonald's, and sometimes gets shifts without much notice. But again, she lives with me and three other people - making sure I know in advance, or just as she's heading out, really isn't hard for her to do.

I've also just realized if I tell her she's not welcome at the table anymore, it will cause another family issue - my mother and her fiance tend to argue quite a bit, and if there's a problem with us kids, he'll take the side of his daughters, while she'll take the side of hers. If I refuse to play with this player anymore, it's likely to turn into another "us vs. them" situation.

You're in a tricky situation of trying to determine WHERE in the grand scheme of things, does 'showing up for game night' rate?

For strangers or friends... I personally think it should rate pretty high.

For family? Whole different ball of wax.

As you said, any pushing on this, is just going to cause strife in a new family unit... sounds like it has plenty already.

Since you said that the group isn't hurt by her absence... just chill out. Let her know when game night is, but if she's not there, don't fret about it.

Sovereign Court

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I don't see why family should be given preferential treatment.

For me, everyone gets treated on their own merit.


Threeshades wrote:

"Your frequent unannounced nonattendance has been really disrupting the game lately. I can understand if there is something preventing you from attending, but if this is going to keep up without you even giving us a heads-up, i think it might be better for everyone involved if we continued the game without you."

This is how you ay it diplomatically. It also gives the player a chance to explain or better herself.

This very well written, and reasonable, but in this situation, I think it's overkill. I get the feeling the guilty party would likely throw their hands up and walk away before you made it to the second sentence.

The person just doesn't care, period. Like most of the thread has been saying; just run the game without the person, and adjust for them if they bother showing up.


I want to make a strong appeal for something that many DMs and players will consider heretical, but here goes.

Don't ever -- ever -- whine about people not showing up or showing up late to your table.

Pathfinder is a fun game. Period. Being there, or not being there, should not be a pressure thing.

It should be the icing on the cake, not the obligation - always.

The good news is that when you arrange your gaming table this way, people tend to want to come.

So here's how it works. You always have in the back of your mind some flex points for the encounters you're planning.

If five people show up, I'll throw in this many orcs. If ten people show up, that many orcs.

I don't mean to sound glib. It's not always easy.

And sometimes it's necessary to take ten minutes to rethink the arc of an evening's game if a key PC doesn't make the table - happens to me all the time.

But calling audibles is about 90% of a DMs job really. The other ten percent is making things fun for people.

Same goes for people arriving late. I never, ever ask why they're late. Maybe it's work, maybe it's a boyfriend, maybe it's a weird mood.

None of my business.

I just assign them a certain loss of hit points and spells and other expendable powers to match the group's situation and let them jump in.

One final point: This strategy also takes a TON of power away from irritating players.

I've known players who use lateness or no-shows as a sign of disrespect or as deliberate sabotage.

This DMing approach gives them the colossal shrug. "Be here, great. Don't be here, great. The game goes on..."

--Marsh


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So... if your group decides to go see a movie and get dinner together and split the check, you should just shrug if half of them don't show up?

I really don't see how 'being flexible' is a good response to friends who break their commitments all the time.

Sovereign Court

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A certain flexibility is admirable. But social contracts shouldn't be taken any less seriously then written ones. If we have all agreed to be at a certain place at a certain time, barring unforseen issues of course, you should be there. If you really don't feel like it, call and say so.
Don't just dissapear and not even offer an explanation.


Captain Marsh wrote:

I want to make a strong appeal for something that many DMs and players will consider heretical, but here goes.

Don't ever -- ever -- whine about people not showing up or showing up late to your table.

Pathfinder is a fun game. Period. Being there, or not being there, should not be a pressure thing.

It should be the icing on the cake, not the obligation - always.

The good news is that when you arrange your gaming table this way, people tend to want to come.

So here's how it works. You always have in the back of your mind some flex points for the encounters you're planning.

If five people show up, I'll throw in this many orcs. If ten people show up, that many orcs.

I don't mean to sound glib. It's not always easy.

And sometimes it's necessary to take ten minutes to rethink the arc of an evening's game if a key PC doesn't make the table - happens to me all the time.

But calling audibles is about 90% of a DMs job really. The other ten percent is making things fun for people.

Same goes for people arriving late. I never, ever ask why they're late. Maybe it's work, maybe it's a boyfriend, maybe it's a weird mood.

None of my business.

I just assign them a certain loss of hit points and spells and other expendable powers to match the group's situation and let them jump in.

One final point: This strategy also takes a TON of power away from irritating players.

I've known players who use lateness or no-shows as a sign of disrespect or as deliberate sabotage.

This DMing approach gives them the colossal shrug. "Be here, great. Don't be here, great. The game goes on..."

--Marsh

It is a game, but it is also a social activity that requires a LOT of preparation and commitment. If I spend several hours planning this weeks session, spending money on books, figures(paints even), flipmats, tiles, or even just big blank paper and markers, just for everyone else to shrug their shoulders and go do something else, I'm going to be PISSED.

A commitment to show up, even a slight one, is the LEAST a player can give, compared to the investment the DM or house-host is committing to.

Board games are for nights when people can just show up or not, doesn't matter, blah blah blah.

In my gaming groups, participants schedule days off of work to show up. We arrange for babysitters/child-care, plan dinners, etc. for the game. This "show up or don't, no big deal" attitude would NOT fly around here. YMMV.

Sovereign Court

Josh M. wrote:

It is a game, but it is also a social activity that requires a LOT of preparation and commitment. If I spend several hours planning this weeks session, spending money on books, figures(paints even), flipmats, tiles, or even just big blank paper and markers, just for everyone else to shrug their shoulders and go do something else, I'm going to be PISSED.

A commitment to show up, even a slight one, is the LEAST a player can give, compared to the investment the DM or house-host is committing to.

Board games are for nights when people can just show up or not, doesn't matter, blah blah blah.

In my gaming groups, participants schedule days off of work to show up. We arrange for babysitters/child-care, plan dinners, etc. for the game. This "show up or don't, no big deal" attitude would NOT fly around here. YMMV.

Oh yeah. Even when there is not too much prep, there is still prep, plus resources spent. If a person cannot respect that, i don't need that person in my circle of players/friends.


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Even past the "session prep" investment, whomever is hosting the game is committing that time out of their day to host the game. This may involve not working a shift, taking time away from their family, or any number of other things that person can be doing with their time.

It's not about "pressuring" people to show up. If you have to pressure someone to show up, you're better off letting them go(like we see in the OP).

Project Manager

Removed post with inappropriate language.


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I go through and make pawn-style tokens, by hand, for every monster in the AP, after the adjustments I make for the fact that we have five players instead of four. I spent close to $100 on this AP, and another $150 on the player's handbook, dungeon master's guide, and monster manual; $70 on a battlemat; $20 on markers I had to get online because apparently you can't get wet-erase markers anywhere in Australia. I print off statblocks, I make spell cards by hand (gluing two sheets of paper back-to-back because NOTHING lines up right on my printer), and I take notes before each session of the loot I expect them to find. All my players have to do to prepare for the game is show up. If they can't do that, it's like a kick in the balls (or ovaries I guess would be more appropriate).

Someone above asked about the family situation. I'll condense it as such: family has been living together for about a year and a half. They moved into our home, then we all moved house together, been living as such for about a year. The game began this February, and it was the first real gaming experience for everyone in the group. So she wasn't a gamer before this game began, but neither was I, and she wanted to join the game.

Anyway, on a positive note, I ended up prepping tonight's session as if she wasn't going to show up, and sure enough, she was sitting at the table with everyone else by the time four o'clock rolled around. Didn't even mention the game to her beforehand. All seemed to go pretty well... here's hoping it will continue to do so.


Good luck! Hopefully things run smoothly for you now.


Thanks, mate. I hope so, too!


Hama wrote:

I don't see why family should be given preferential treatment.

For me, everyone gets treated on their own merit.

I dislike my siblings, so I wouldn't even think of giving my family any preferential treatment.

Also, good luck to the OP!

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