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Let's do this. Legal questions welcome.

In what states can you get away with polygamy by hiding behind a corporation? Do your additional wives need to be members of the board for this to work?

What's your favorite color?

If you could make one sweeping change to the current legal system, what would it be?

3+5 = ?

What drink are you going to buy me at PaizoCon?


What do you use to polish your uni-horn...?


I've watched 80 episodes of Matlock more or less. Wondering if that makes me qualified to serve as my own attorney.


How's Belle?


Losers.


Secretlyreplacedwith wrote:
Losers.

It was either you or Sebastian. You got lucky.

Sovereign Court

3 people marked this as a favorite.

When did you realize Cosmo was better than you?

If there was any tort reform in this country, would you melt like the Wicked Witch or explode like Sauron?

Can Detect Magic detect invisible critters?


Do you love or SUPERLUV poodles?

*licks sebastian*


Now if my pal, Rocky, were in there, would I turn on the gas like this?

Silver Crusade

Sebastian, why haven't you showed up in this thread about you?


Sebastian, why haven't you responded to Celestial Healer's question?

Paizo Employee Sales Imp

Sebastian, why haven't you responded to Cheapy's question about Celestial Healer's question?

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Sebastian,

Why have you not yet responded to Cosmo's inquiry regarding your lack of response to Cheapy's concern about your not having answered Celestial Healer's question?

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

I think you must cast lawyer summons II. Or maybe invoke a subpoena.

Sebastian, do you fart rainbows?


Sebastian, is raining fartbows a misdemeanor or a felony?

Sovereign Court

Sebastian,

Why have you not yet responded to Aberzombie's inquiry regarding your lack of response to Cosmo's concern which is in regards to your lack of response to Cheapy's concern about your not having answered Celestial Healer's question?


Sebastian, you can't ignore fate.


Sebastian,

Why have you not yet responded to Callous Jack's post inquiring about Aberzombie's inquiry regarding your lack of response to Cosmo's concern which is in regards to your lack of response to Cheapy's concern about your not having answered Celestial Healer's question?

How long will this go on for before it becomes unfunny?


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Sebastian, you've gone on record as stating that The Big Bang Theory is the all-time best comedy in the history of television and film. Do you think the hilarity will only increase with the rumored addition of Chevy Chase to the cast?


Sebastian, which tastes better: Orphan hearts or Puppy livers?

As a corollary question, which is more refreshing? Game of Thrones' fans agony tears, or the rage tears of a poster once you pwn them?

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

6 people marked this as a favorite.
Cheapy wrote:
Let's do this. Legal questions welcome.

Each answer constitutes legal services for which you will be invoiced. All payments shall be made to my offshore Cayman Islands account or in the form of blow, at my discretion. By posting in this thread, you consent to abuse, scorn, and the occassional atomic elbow.

Cheapy wrote:
In what states can you get away with polygamy by hiding behind a corporation? Do your additional wives need to be members of the board for this to work?

Your question is stupid and you are stupid for asking it. Wives are for idiots who don't understand the concept of hookers. When you are done with a hooker, murder her and dispose of the body someplace discreet or, barring that, sell the corpse for meat to your local taco bell.

Cheapy wrote:
What's your favorite color?

All of them.

Cheapy wrote:
If you could make one sweeping change to the current legal system, what would it be?

More summary executions.

Cheapy wrote:
3+5 = ?

You're the client - you tell me what you want it to be and I'll make it work.

Cheapy wrote:
What drink are you going to buy me at PaizoCon?

Gasoline.

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

5 people marked this as a favorite.
Tirisfal wrote:
What do you use to polish your uni-horn...?

The tears of orphans.

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Spanky the Leprechaun wrote:
I've watched 80 episodes of Matlock more or less. Wondering if that makes me qualified to serve as my own attorney.

Provided you begin any closing speech with "I may not be a big city lawyer, with a fancy degree or teeth," your knowledge of Matlock should qualify you to act as your own counsel in Virginia.

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Kajehase wrote:
How's Belle?

Getting it on with a hairy animal and her talking inanimate objects.

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Secretlyreplacedwith wrote:
Losers.

This.

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Callous Jack wrote:
When did you realize Cosmo was better than you?

Your question makes no sense. Cosmo's only redeeming quality is that he defeated his moustache in unarmed combat.

Callous Jack wrote:
If there was any tort reform in this country, would you melt like the Wicked Witch or explode like Sauron?

Why would you assume that tort reform would result in fewer torts or smaller judgments. Need I remind you that most legislators are attorneys and that professional courtesy reminds us to look out for our own.

Callous Jack wrote:
Can Detect Magic detect invisible critters?

MOTHERF&++ING G*@!@&NIT SONOFAB#+#*!!!!

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Llamafrog wrote:

Do you love or SUPERLUV poodles?

*licks sebastian*

I superluv chihuahas, after two hours in a crockpot and seasoned with oregano. Poodles are only useful in the event that sheep become extinct.

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Bill Lumberg wrote:
Now if my pal, Rocky, were in there, would I turn on the gas like this?

It seems unlikely, rabbit.

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

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Celestial Healer wrote:
Sebastian, why haven't you showed up in this thread about you?

Orphanages don't bulldoze themselves while singing Chirstmas carols and eating puppies.

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

Cheapy wrote:
Sebastian, why haven't you responded to Celestial Healer's question?

Bulldozers require a lot of liabilty waivers and releases.

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

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Cosmo wrote:
Sebastian, why haven't you responded to Cheapy's question about Celestial Healer's question?

Apparently you are expected to use a hose to dislodge orphan bits from the bulldozer treads after you're done with it.

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

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Aberzombie wrote:

Sebastian,

Why have you not yet responded to Cosmo's inquiry regarding your lack of response to Cheapy's concern about your not having answered Celestial Healer's question?

I was involved in a dispute with his mousatache over damage to the bulldozer, which was apparently in the liability waiver and release that I never read.

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Kilrex wrote:

I think you must cast lawyer summons II. Or maybe invoke a subpoena.

Sebastian, do you fart rainbows?

You know how they say opinions are like a$++!&+s?

Now you know why my opinions are better than yours.

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Limeylongears wrote:
Sebastian, is raining fartbows a misdemeanor or a felony?

Depends on the jurisdiction and the number of Care Bears in the jury pool.

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Callous Jack wrote:

Sebastian,

Why have you not yet responded to Aberzombie's inquiry regarding your lack of response to Cosmo's concern which is in regards to your lack of response to Cheapy's concern about your not having answered Celestial Healer's question?

Loser.

Silver Crusade

1 person marked this as a favorite.

The blessing of St Sebastian on this thread.

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Cheapy wrote:
Sebastian, you can't ignore fate.

He hasn't posted in this thread yet.

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

1 person marked this as a favorite.
JMD031 wrote:

Sebastian,

Why have you not yet responded to Callous Jack's post inquiring about Aberzombie's inquiry regarding your lack of response to Cosmo's concern which is in regards to your lack of response to Cheapy's concern about your not having answered Celestial Healer's question?

I have better things to do than call him a loser.

Wait...no I don't...

JMD031 wrote:
How long will this go on for before it becomes unfunny?

It was funny?

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Rawr! wrote:

Sebastian, you've gone on record as stating that The Big Bang Theory is the all-time best comedy in the history of television and film. Do you think the hilarity will only increase with the rumored addition of Chevy Chase to the cast?

No, that's the Gang Bang Theory, which, if I recall, was nominated for 43 emmys.

I do not want to see any part of Chevy Chase's body below his neck.


Congratulations! As of this post, people are more interested in asking you questions than a paladin's horse!

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Patrick Curtin wrote:
Sebastian, which tastes better: Orphan hearts or Puppy livers?

That is a good question. Usually puppy livers, because they can be removed from a living animal to maximize the suffering flavor. That said, orphan hearts eaten in front of other orphans, which are then ground into orphan burger, which is then fed to other orphans, who in turn have their hearts harvested, are really really good, but it's a lot of work.

Patrick Curtin wrote:
As a corollary question, which is more refreshing? Game of Thrones' fans agony tears, or the rage tears of a poster once you pwn them?

they didn't have to kill the wolf...


Cheapy wrote:
In what states can you get away with polygamy by hiding behind a corporation? Do your additional wives need to be members of the board for this to work?
Sebastian wrote:


Your question is stupid and you are stupid for asking it. Wives are for idiots who don't understand the concept of hookers. When you are done with a hooker, murder her and dispose of the body someplace discreet or, barring that, sell the corpse for meat to your local taco bell.

That is something I did not need to read. I will never graze at Taco Bell.

Paizo Employee Sales Imp

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Sebastian... Before I open it, are you the one who sent me this box on my desk? What's in it?

Will you please stop emailing me the link to this video every day?

Liberty's Edge

Sebastian, are you simply a unique demon or nascent demon lord/archdevil? If the latter, what are your domains?


Sebastian wrote:
Cheapy wrote:
Sebastian, you can't ignore fate.
He hasn't posted in this thread yet.

I have now!

Dark Archive

Well, what now Sebastian?

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Cosmo wrote:
Sebastian... Before I open it, are you the one who sent me this box on my desk? What's in it?

Ice cream sundaes and sunshine. Not a bomb. Or sharks. Or springloaded sharks with bombs in their mouths.

JUST OPEN THE BOX ALREADY.

Oh wait...shark box is still here at my desk. I think that one has Gwynneth Paltrow's head.

Cosmo wrote:
Will you please stop emailing me the link to this video every day?

It's the only thing that washes away the pain of the Rains of Castamere.

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

lucky7 wrote:
Sebastian, are you simply a unique demon or nascent demon lord/archdevil? If the latter, what are your domains?

I'm actually in the 1e Fiend Folio as a unique creature with my own plane, but they had to remove that page due to copyright infringement with the Necronomincon. Not sure on my domains - my clerics always seem to die horrific deaths before reaching second level.

On an unrelated note, I am currently accepting applications for worshippers.

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

God of Fate wrote:
Sebastian wrote:
Cheapy wrote:
Sebastian, you can't ignore fate.
He hasn't posted in this thread yet.
I have now!

You are not the real Fate. No imposters will be accepted.

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

Skyro Nude wrote:
Well, what now Sebastian?

Hookers and blow, duh.

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