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CHIMAERIC MANTLE
Aura strong abjuration; CL 17th
Slot neck; Price 128,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This high collar offers continual magical protection in the form of a deflection bonus of +3. Once per day, the wearer may activate the collar to prevent all alignment-based or racial based bonuses to attack, damage or other effects from affecting the wearer for five consecutive rounds. This applies to the additional damage and effects such as bane, anarchic, axiomatic, and other enchantments, class abilities such as favored enemy bonuses or a paladin’s smite ability, and racial traits such as the gnomish Hatred bonus vs. reptilian and goblinoid subtypes. The collar will not prevent bonuses from any non-alignment or non-race specific damage or effects from affecting the wearer as normal. So a +1 goblin-bane longsword would still be treated as a +1 longsword, but would not receive the +2 to attack and +2d6 damage bonuses when attacking a goblin wearing and activating this collar.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, forbiddance, shield of faith; Cost 64,000 gp
I have to think about this, but on first blush I like it. It has a good theme--it removes or blocks your alignment or race feature so that weapons or attacks that are triggered if you meet those requirements are fooled.
Simple, beautiful. THIS is what a wondrous item should be. Break the rules in a limited way that is fun. Not just a spell or two wrapped into an item. Wondrous items are fun because they are the things that are little rule breakers. I think this one is elegant and cool.
Its late and I'm tired so maybe I am not seeing its issues. But I have to admit this one has grabbed me more than many of the others.
KEEP, I think. Still under consideration.
Well, it's an expensive item. And it should be for what it does. It's one of those items that can easily be seen as partaking in the arms race between PCs and GMs in the tug-of-war of various powerful abilities that lay enemies low really quickly in high-level games.
I agree that they're breaking new ground here by playing around with the alignment- and race-based abilities by nerfing them against whoever wears this thing. It's interesting enough and innovative enough that I'd like to see what else this designer could dream up and accomplish over the course of the contest. I like that they didn't go overboard with it. You can only use the item once/day and it only runs for 5 rounds. That's unlikely to last an entire combat at such high levels. So, it's not an absolute game changer. But it could prove very handy in the right circumstances.
In terms of possible improvements to the item, I'd have liked to see alter self, misdirection, and/or undetectable alignment show up in the construction requirements. That would help explain why a ranger wouldn't still recognize the wearer as belonging to the race of one of his favored enemies and also how it's able to fool align weapon and the like.
All in all, though, I'm inclined to...
...Keep.
I'll hold off on moving it to the Keep folder, however, until you've established a firm Keep, as well...or until one of the other judges chimes in.
I did not like this item. It is, to me, more of a monster item than a player character item. A villain would love to wear this, whereas players would not. How often are the player's attacked with bane effects? How often do the players attack something else with a bane effect? You see the imbalance immediately.
Worse, the player characters may have worked really hard to get the right weapon (or enchantment) into the encounter and will be shocked to find that the Foozle (the big bad guy at the end) is partially immune to their prepwork. That's the kind of thing that turns players off - the feeling that no matter what they do the GM will just counter it.
I recommend that you do not vote for this designer.
BTW: How does this relate to the concept of the chimera?
Really? Ryan I am surprised at you. That was one of my favorite parts about the item, the reference to the chimera. A chimera is a lion and a dragon and a goat. Yet, it is not an animal, nor is it a dragon, nor is it a mix of those. You'd think having a dragon head would get you the dragon creature type, but it doesnt. So really a chimera is the perfect reference for an item that makes you what you are not, that removes your creature type, which is what this item does. Because though this item cancels all racial or alignment effects, obviously what that really means is "ones that you have." For instance, a human getting hit by a goblin bane weapon wouldnt take the damage from the goblin bane weapon anyway. But a goblin would. So a goblin with this would avoid "being a goblin" just like the chimera is not a dragon, even though it is.
I think that is perfect. I saw that as one of the real points of excellent design about this item is finding that link to that creature as the creature embodies some of the things that are reflected in the item.
Also, it is not a monster item. It is a PC item for sure (sure, monsters could use it, which would be nasty! it is more properly a potential npc item more than a monster item) In fact, giving the big evil boss one of these would piss off paladins. So that is something to think about. You dont want these to become as universal as alignment detecting blocking items (like every bad guy having a ring of undetectable alignment back in the day) but there are all sorts of things that could be abused that you just have to trust the GM not to abuse.
PCs would love this. Going into the underdark to fight drow rangers that have humans as their favored enemy? Get one of these. Going against hordes of evil creatures with weapons against lawful good or whatever? Get one of these.
Mechanics: So I spend a bunch of money getting just the right weapon, or XP on class features and spells, and the Foozle gets to negate my efforts? With a collar? That sucks. What a buzz-kill.
This thing is 128k gp. That's helm of brilliance expensive. So for that price, yeah, it gets to do that.
Solution? Kill the guy wearing it and take it from him. :) Then you are protected. Which is why GMs wont be giving this to every one of their NPCs or pretty soon every PC will have one--from taking them off the necks of the dead NPCs.
Writing needs some work, but I like the concept of the item.
The collar shouldn't and doesn't need to have a +3 deflection bonus, that's the ring shtick. Cut that and you can cut 27,000 gp out of this item's Price (18,000 x 1.5 for being a secondary property). It probably needs to cost less anyway because its defensive value is so situational.
But I really like the concept and the theme.
Keep!
Welcome to the Top 32!
You've given us an item that made me think why it wasn't already in the game. Many on these boards would agree that's possibly a sign of Superstar thinking.
However, your item isn't perfect. As SKR mentioned, you could get rid of the deflection bonus. I'm also a little surprised that you didn't mention any alignment/race-based spells in your otherwise exhaustive list of examples. I'm glad that the mantle doesn't seem to hide actual alignment and race, which is sure to make combats more interesting as players try to guess what they're really fighting.
Good luck during round 2.
What I like:
I liked the name right off the bat; it's actually interesting, since I assumed I was about to read a shapechanging or illusion based item. After reading it, though, I'm not displeased by the name vs. effect; you're clearly thinking in a different direction than most people would, with this item, but it still makes sense.
What I love:
And speaking of thinking coming from a different direction, this is a very clever protective item. It's negating a set of bonuses that aren't going to come into play every combat (and a user would need to be sure of when to activate it to make sure its rounds per day aren't wasted...) but can be invaluable when they are needed. Well. Maybe 'invaluable' is a pretty strong phrase here, because...
What needs a little sumptin' sumptin'...
Maybe I'm really underestimating the usefulness of this, but it seems crazy expensive to me, at first glance. For five rounds per day of protection? Yes, sure, those really specific race and alignment based bonus can really add up to a whole bunch of whoopin', but still... this just doesn't seem right.
All in all...
It's a pretty useful item at a much higher cost than I'd likely want it at. Looking over the other judges comments, though, they seem to think the pricing is justified, so maybe I'm the crazy one here. Nevertheless, I'd need to have a GM with a massive fetish for throwing antipaladins at the party before I'd be able to convince myself to spend this much character wealth on one. But the idea is what's important, and your idea is definitely worth its salt. Congratulations and welcome to RPG Superstar!
I'm really not a fan of items whose "hook" is that they negate some kind of ability/drawback from elsewhere in Pathfinder. They don't feel particularly creative to me, nor do they make me excited to play with them. Ignoring my preferences, however, this is a well-made item that is clear and elegant in its design, and fights an unusual problem.
I am a fan of the implication that the collar somehow changes/warps you so that race-targeting effects will fail. I wouldn't mind hearing a descriptive sentence or two at the beginning of the item rules explaining what this process looks like in the game fiction.
I don't really like the item, and I would probably not allow it, but the designer put a lot of thought behind it, and shows potential for greater things. On that merit I would advance him even though I dislike the item.
Congrats, and I expect for you to do well in round 2.
I like that it frees up a ring slot--there are a lot of fun rings out there, and most PCs can only use one of them because their other ring is a ring of protection of some kind. This item expands the versatility of its wearer without sacrificing a very useful bonus to AC (and touch AC!).
This is a really good defensive item, and fun to boot. I also really liked the chimaera reference, because it made me think of the Munchkin card, allowing you to have all the races you want - even though this is rather the opposite in feel.
What would have made me love this item would be a lesser version. for 128k, it's going to be something a high level character has to think seriously about. A more limited cache of effects (say, fooling only race requirements) for a lower price tag would be a perfect add-on to this, but I understand the balance concerns and word count within.
I did not like this item. It is, to me, more of a monster item than a player character item. A villain would love to wear this, whereas players would not. How often are the player's attacked with bane effects? How often do the players attack something else with a bane effect? You see the imbalance immediately.
With a bane or Favored Enemy? From time to time? With alignement-based effects? So damn often. The problem I see with this item is that it becomes a must-have if you are intending to fight one of the irritating blasphemy-at will fiends (i.e. Pit Fined).
Thank you all for your comments... I expect you all to continue to tell me how you really feel in future rounds :)
For costing, I was concerned that the effects of the Mantle were potentially a "game-changer" and priced it accordingly.
Although not specifically designed as hero-centric or villain-centric, I did have a concern that it may appear as more of an adventure prop for a BBEG.. The mind creates, the fingers type, and what comes out sometimes loses a bit in the translation.
Again, thanks for the critiques and keep them coming!
I can totally see a use for this as a PC. Wandering near a dwarf village you need to protect your half-orc from over zealous dwarves, then you cross the river and need to protect your dwarf from vengeful orcs. I would like it to be a little less block everything, maybe just race based effects.
I'd also be interested if the magic greataxe that requires you to be a dwarf still works properly while you use this.
Solid item, one I can see on the neck (wait, what? why neck and not shoulders??) of a level 20 PC.
I agree with those who pointed that the deflection bonus was not needed, but like the designer, I think the object needs some secondary property.
I mean, you paid a sum which no character should have until level 13 (and realistically wouldn't spend on such an object until level 18-19) and you get to use it only 5 rounds a day? Yes, it is a powerful item, but I want something a bit more durable for that money.
Personally, I would have given it something like a undetectable alignment effect (constant) or a disguise self/alter self ability (at will for disguise self, x times per day for alter self).
Congratulations Russel,
On first aspect I thought of the genetic term chimera even though the mythological creature is how most see it. I think you captured both well enough for me. Good job on not making this a pocket/dragon/goat/snake/lion. I think the alignment mask is going too far, but I still think this is a nice item. Good luck! :)
I totally see this item as Spike popping his collar to be immune to the paladin before doing battle. This amuses me.
The wording could use a lot of work. Instead of all the exhaustive examples and things, I think it would work better if it was just "your alignment and race are not considered for enemy spells and abilities." I think the fact that it needs so many clarifiers for is problematic.
I like this item, but I really see it as a villian thing.
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Thanks all, I really appreciate the comments! After reading some of the other items in my copious spare time I'm convinced that I will have to really buckle down to be competitive.
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I saw this and *immediately* added it to the final BBEG of my campaign. They are close to the end of the AP. I made sure to dump a ton of his other gear to make room for it. I'm so sick of the paladin and ranger taking down anything in one round. This will at least make for a good climatic encounter.
Give 'em heck!
The name is fun and evocative. Me like.
I loved your comment that this item could be a "game-changer," and I personally like to see the occasional game-changer pop into the game. It keeps everyone on their toes, both characters and bad guys.
Congratulations on making top 32 and good luck in the voting.
I think most of the issues I have with this item have been adressed fully, so I'll simply say this:
The Name: Uh, me like. It's creative, and I get it. I'm not sure the chimaera reference will work for everyone, and honestly "mantle" bothers me just a little. All the mantles in the books go in the chest slot, so I do wonder if you've really thought of that. It's refered to as a collar in several places, so honestly, I think collar would have been better.
Good luck in the voting!
It's clever. It's a good area for design as it seems such an obvious thing to create but no-one has thought of it before.
I wouldn't like to see it in the hands of a BBEG more than once in a campaign, as negating the PCs special abilities is not fun in the long term. Saying that, I can imagine a Paladin getting more and more irate at the recurring villain equipped with one of these. Now that would be fun!
Opponent overview
Style Mastry - Moderate. The writing flows nicely and is easy to take in. And you keep your item simple and focused. On the other hand, you have ample room for a bit more in the way of description. Paint me more evocative mental pictures in the future. All caps in the title is a no-no.
Mechanics Mastry - Strong. This is a good, tight item, well balanced, although the price seem a bit high.
Golarion Mastry - Unknown. The Chimaeric Mantle are pretty much setting neutral. Later rounds will likely reveal more about this.
Special Abilities - Good eye for spotting an unexploited niche in the game.
CR 10 - Likely to advance, but much depends on the round 2 entry.
Like others, I'm intrigued by the mechanic you chose to play with; I think others have called out paladins as possibly hating this item, but I was thinking of my friend's inquisitor, who would definitely not be a fan. I could see a whole order of them devoted to destroying these things. : )
I definitely like the name, as well, though it did make me think I was going to get something related to the classic monster.
I don't like this one. It seems like much more of a "mechanics thing" than a "story thing". That kind of creativity seems to work well for board games but it doesn't work for the role-player in me. There's no cool visual. No real reason that it does what it does - just a game mechanic that get's changed. Sorry not for me, but it obviously worked for someone because here you are. Congrats!
First off, I don't object to the deflection bonus to AC, and I think that the game could stand to be a little less stuffy overall about what sort of bonus goes where. One of the frustrating things about gear in Pathfinder is that PCs of a given type tends to converge on the same basic set of gear as the game progresses; they have to get all of their key bonuses by filling each slot "properly". More options to get those bonuses would result in more variety in gear, IMO.
Mechanically, this item works well. It interacts interestingly with a wide variety of mechanics, but those interactions are pretty well lccked-down within a short word count; nice work on that.
I agree with Sam that it would have been nice to know what this item does, concretely, within the fiction of the game. Just what does it look like when a collar makes you temporarily not a goblin for purposes of a gnome's wrath?
Here's the downer. Thematically, I hate what this item does. Smite and favored enemy just don't have the appropriate flavor to be shut down in this way. I can see a dedicated item that prevents alignment-based effects from working, but it would have to have some damn good flavor to justify blocking a paladin from smiting the wicked. Likewise, I'd need a very strong flavor justification for telling a high-level ranger that even though there's a gnoll standing right in front of him, being all gnolly, he doesn't get his FE bonus because the gnoll's got some magic collar. This item seems like an interesting mechanical idea with only the barest gloss of rationalizing flavor.
The latter complaint is only a personal preference. I bring it up because there's design work that you could have done to overcome that preference. Most importantly, stronger and more persuasive flavor would incline me to buy into your mechanics. Secondly, though, I needed you to throw a bone to paladins and rangers at my table who would feel cheated when facing this item (and rightly so). Perhaps you could have negated only one aspect of a racial or alignment based effect, such as the damage bonus? Perhaps you could have thrown in a limitation on the wearer for the duration of the effect, so that he's at least handicapped by protecting himself from the PC's ability? Against a paladin, this item comes real close to casting negate character class, and that's just not cool.
I hope that my criticism is helpful and not too harsh. On a purely mechanical level, this item is well-designed and creative, so I give you points for that. Good luck in the coming rounds.
A couple of quick comments - I love the name, though, like someone else mentioned, I think Chimaeric Collar works a little better than Chimaeric Mantle, but that might be because I sometimes like a little alliteration...
Congrats on finding an effect overlooked by so many other magical items out there; namely negating racial and alignment bonuses. I have no problem with that, in terms of other items with magical bonuses, such as bane weapons, or even the paladin’s smite ability, since that is technically a “magical” effect, as granted by a deity, though that’s a little harder sell.
I can see the rules-lawyer ranger in my group getting all snarky, though – “What do you MEAN I don’t get my favored enemy bonus against [schnozwonkles]!?!, there’s a great big [schnozwonkle] standing right there!! And it’s not like it’s a magical ability to overcome –I WORKED to learn how to defeat these things. We HATESSS them, my Preciousss. Dammit Jim, I’m a ranger, not a paladin…”
(Though, in all fairness, I kinda smile a little as I play that out in my head; our ranger COULD use a little humbling now and again…)
Not at all what I was expecting… I almost want a little more flavor text explaining the ‘why’ of the mantle, but the core idea is very cool. The price is too rich for me, but a lot of characters if they got ahold of one would find good use for it.
Once per day, the wearer may activate the collar to prevent all alignment-based or racial based bonuses to attack, damage or other effects from affecting the wearer for five consecutive rounds.
I like this item, and with one exception everything I would have mentioned about it both positive and negative have been written above. I'm surprised this hasn't been brought up already- how is it activated? I'd imagine it is either a free, swift, or immediate action...
CHIMAERIC MANTLE
Aura strong abjuration; CL 17th
Slot neck; Price 128,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This high collar offers continual magical protection in the form of a deflection bonus of +3. Once per day, the wearer may activate the collar to prevent all alignment-based or racial based bonuses to attack, damage or other effects from affecting the wearer for five consecutive rounds. This applies to the additional damage and effects such as bane, anarchic, axiomatic, and other enchantments, class abilities such as favored enemy bonuses or a paladin’s smite ability, and racial traits such as the gnomish Hatred bonus vs. reptilian and goblinoid subtypes. The collar will not prevent bonuses from any non-alignment or non-race specific damage or effects from affecting the wearer as normal. So a +1 goblin-bane longsword would still be treated as a +1 longsword, but would not receive the +2 to attack and +2d6 damage bonuses when attacking a goblin wearing and activating this collar.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, forbiddance, shield of faith; Cost 64,000 gp
Disclaimer:
Note:
Fair is foul and foul is fair supposedly . Basically, though, does this item have any useful application in a spa?
Given the lack of description of the item's appearance, I'm not inclined to give any benefit of the doubt, and I thus assume it's rather plain. Combine that with the fact that this is basically a brawler's item (and there are cheaper alternatives available with regard to the main, constant, effect) and it's pretty useless in a spa.
Assuming for a moment that it’s more convenient to pay taxes than to circumvent the system, does this item look likely to be a tax-deductible business expense for a succubus art-dealer?
Possibly. Given the presumed rather mediocre appearance, and the more cost effective options available in terms of other items, a succubus would have to be extraordinarily eccentric to be looking for one of these in the first place though.
Is the item useful in a strawberries-and-cream-tea context?
Not in the slightest.
Other Comments?
Since this is a collar, not a mantle, and since it has nothing obvious to do with extraordinary creatures which are a mishmash of several other creatures, the name of this item makes about as much sense to me as a hair-ribbon called a 'Flying Hat of the Seven Headed Hydra' which allows the wearer to run faster. Now granted that means that this item name is fun because it certainly confuses any obsessive lawful types which encounter one, potentially allowing one to escape successfully whilst they're scratching their heads and thinking 'huh, it does what?'
Gollum Rating:
Ant Health Warning: this year, I really worked hard on technical execution of my item, so these reviews will likely reflect template use. Brace yourselves for the template fu - it can sting.
Template Use: 8.5/10
template fu dances a jig to a lymeric about "italicise your spell, and all will be well, but a point I smell, will feed me well, so learn to italicise your spell", snatches a point, grins cheekily and devours it. He then reaches for some sweet half point pudding for wall of text-ness. I guess the chappie is hungry.
Slot affinity: 10/10
There are similar types of bonuses elsewhere in the neck slot, maybe not so high as +3, but that explains the price - yeah, I think you nailed affinity - well done.
Abuseability: 8/10
It has a very defined effect which limits abuseability very tightly. I did wonder if "undead" counts as a race as the GM within considers putting it on the vampire so he can cross the street in broad sunlight, hmmm, will have to check that up.
The bit that didnt sit well with me was discounting bonuses for favored enemy - which is borne from study of the creature and learning its weaknesses, so if you are a goblin, even with this item, you are still a goblin with all the same goblin weaknesses, so for me, it wouldn't affect that.
Plus the description says "alignment based and racial based" - favoured enemy is neither racial nor alignment based, it is class based.
I might even extend the arguement to some hatred type bonuses - if you hate goblins, you will still hate the goblin because you can see its a goblin, an item cannot see in the same sense, so preventing bonus from such a weapon or implement makes sense, but preventing benefits from study or mindset of wielders didnt sit right for me.
Desirability: 8/10
This is verging on a GM creature buff item to me, I would use it more as a GM than as a player. But that's just me.
Originality: 9/10
I loved the item as a whole, it showed moxie and originality as well as a good tightness in design. Well done.
Ant Score: 43.5/50 (87%)