I know how to fight.


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Just thought it was important to let you all know. When I design rules and stuff, I use my real life hardcore fighting experience that I learned on the mean streets of suburban massachusetts. I know all about swords and armor and guns and stuff too. I'm like a total expert.

So definitely think twice before you tell me about how realistic the rules are, cuz I've lived them, and I will beat you up.

Silver Crusade

You've obviously never seen how well I wield a katana.


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I have the same last name as Bruce Lee. Just sayin'...


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I trained with an ancient japanese sword-master, it was pretty cool. I made my own katana, with steel folded 200 times. It takes a lot of work, most people don't realize.

Then I trained for years and years with it and I'm totally really good at it now.


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Are you starting to lose confidence? 'Cause there is probably a Sicilian you could work for to pay the bills.

Silver Crusade

Yeah, but I spent 4 years in the Himalayas mastering the spiked chain.


I play with fire and I set fires too.


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The problem with the spiked chain is that it totally doesn't work as a weapon. If you knew about fighting like I do, you'd know that.


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My dog peed in your drink.


Evil Lincoln wrote:

Just thought it was important to let you all know. When I design rules and stuff, I use my real life hardcore fighting experience that I learned on the mean streets of suburban massachusetts. I know all about swords and armor and guns and stuff too. I'm like a total expert.

So definitely think twice before you tell me about how realistic the rules are, cuz I've lived them, and I will beat you up.

so this is what bad trolling looks like.

I'm guessing this is in reference to some of the posts on the walking away mid combat thread?


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

Ha! I grew up in the Kettle Moraine area of Wisconsin and have mastered the art of the Improvised Weapon that I can pierce any armor with a thrown ball point pen. Give me a pitchfork and I cannot be defeated.

Sovereign Court

I learned how to kill a man using only a steely gaze and a piece of overcooked vermicelli. Gentlemen, fear the cold stare of pasta doom!!!!

Women, however, seem to be completely immune to this form of attack ... learned that one the hard way ... vermicelli does not fill one's nasal cavity with pasta goodness ...


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I am, in fact, La Parka.


kmal2t wrote:

so this is what bad trolling looks like.

I'm guessing this is in reference to some of the posts on the walking away mid combat thread?

Really not a response to that. That would have been some "I'm a sociopath who beats up my disobedient players" thread. Come to think of it, that would have been better than this one. But I didn't start this thread to mock that guy.

This is a thread about how I really do know how to fight, which is why I make game rules to simulate fighting.

What is "bad trolling?"

The opposite of "good trolling?"

very confusing.


Evil Lincoln wrote:


What is "bad trolling?"

The opposite of "good trolling?"

Well of course!


Well, kmal2t,

I'm not trolling. It's very important that people understand my martial arts credentials. It informs everything I do here.


I'm gonna be honest. I can't think of one person I've RPGed with that I wouldn't feel confident in a fight with. There's one guy that could potentially be more difficult but he's out of the norm of the usual 40 year old fat guys that I generally play with. As opposed to the majority of overweight 20 somethings I've come across at the FLGS's.


That's the spirit, kmal2t! :)


Besides Vin Diesel...is there a single muscular/in-shape guy that is known to play DnD?

Is there a single MMA/UFC fighter out there that admits he plays DnD? It doesn't count if it was when he was a kid. Many UFC fighters train and learn to become fighters from getting their ass kicked as a kid.


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I'm not saying I once killed another player for touching my dice, but no one has seen the guy in a long, long time.

On a completely unrelated note, the best reason to get a leather dice bag is that it's less likely to burst open if you use it as a sap on other players who touch your dice.

Paizo Employee PostMonster General

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Worf knows how to fight!


kmal2t wrote:
Is there a single MMA/UFC fighter out there that admits he plays DnD? It doesn't count if it was when he was a kid. Many UFC fighters train and learn to become fighters from getting their ass kicked as a kid.

I've been in the octagon.


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Being inside a strangely shaped Pizza Hut does NOT count!


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"I know kung fu, karate, and 27 other dangerous words."


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In Oct of 2010 I weighed 280 pounds. In March of 2011 I was told that I had type 2 diabetes, my AIC was 14.8%, and I was experiencing organ failure and severe nerve damage.

I changed some things.

I now weigh 200 pounds, run 12.5 miles every week, swim 5 miles every week, do two and a half hours of free weights every week (after many years of being "that guy" I can now squat 110 pounds - yes I know that's not a lot, but I have come a long way).

I will be fifty this Octorber. My goal is 185 pounds by then.

I'd take you on, but only if there was ice cream for the winner


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I'm actually prohibited from putting my hands inside my pockets. Weapon concealment is not permitted.


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Evil Lincoln wrote:

I trained with an ancient japanese sword-master, it was pretty cool. I made my own katana, with steel folded 200 times. It takes a lot of work, most people don't realize.

Then I trained for years and years with it and I'm totally really good at it now.

Was it forged in the fires of Mt. Fuji so that it could cut through a tank?


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Odraude wrote:
Evil Lincoln wrote:

I trained with an ancient japanese sword-master, it was pretty cool. I made my own katana, with steel folded 200 times. It takes a lot of work, most people don't realize.

Then I trained for years and years with it and I'm totally really good at it now.

Was it forged in the fires of Mt. Fuji so that it could cut through a tank?

I heard he made it by hammering down a tank into a blade inside the fires of Mt. Fuji. While the tank was shooting back at him.


Hahaha, yeah, that's all pretty funny.

But really, I do know how to fight in real life.


Ya, and Grizzly Adams had a beard.

Silver Crusade

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Evil Lincoln wrote:
The problem with the spiked chain is that it totally doesn't work as a weapon. If you knew about fighting like I do, you'd know that.

Pfft. My spiked chain-wielding ability requires me to register myself with the US Department of Martial Enforcement as a lethal weapon, pursuant to the classified Exotic Weapons Protection Act of 1963. I am also barred entry in 12 countries, including Canada, because my spiked chain skills make me a clear and present danger.

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook Subscriber; Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber

Nothing to do here.

Shadow Lodge

TriOmegaZero wrote:
Nothing to do here.

PCHOOOOO


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Evil Lincoln wrote:
... When I design rules and stuff, I use my real life hardcore fighting experience that I learned on the mean streets of suburban massachusetts.

Not the dreaded Lexington Longkick? The Framingham Fivefold Punch? The Weston Weenie Whip? The Newton Noogie? Few have walked those mean streets and lived to tell the tale...

Shadow Lodge

...the Wushi Finger Hold?


kmal2t wrote:

Besides Vin Diesel...is there a single muscular/in-shape guy that is known to play DnD?

Other than me?

*flexes*


Bah! I survived Martial Law, soldiers and tanks as a three year old child!

Sovereign Court

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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Suburban Massachusetts? I don't believe that, no one can survive all those Dire Soccer Moms and Hipster Golems.

The Exchange

Flexes Epee. Hmm really.


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I'm just gonna leave this here...


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I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you want our loot, I don't have it. But what I do have are a particular set of skills, skills acquired over many long, horrible campaigns. Skills that make me very a nightmare for DMs like you. If you turn this Belor around and don't kill our level 3 party, that will be the end of it. I will not disrupt your game, and I will ride your plot rails. But if you go through with this, I will look for you. I will find you, and I will defecate on your vehicle outside.


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Celestial Healer wrote:
Evil Lincoln wrote:
The problem with the spiked chain is that it totally doesn't work as a weapon. If you knew about fighting like I do, you'd know that.
Pfft. My spiked chain-wielding ability requires me to register myself with the US Department of Martial Enforcement as a lethal weapon, pursuant to the classified Exotic Weapons Protection Act of 1963. I am also barred entry in 12 countries, including Canada, because my spiked chain skills make me a clear and present danger.

I thought Canada banned you because of that incident with the "sausages".


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Ha! I'm in an ongoing lawsuit to prove that smiting can't really be considered battery. It's more like a citizen's proper application of lethal force!

Not much headway, but I'm hoping that someday I'll be allowed back into church with my holy fists which are currently considered deadly weapons.

Shadow Lodge

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Kruelaid wrote:
I thought Canada banned you because of that incident with the "sausages".

A rare sighting! He must be on parole from the gulag!


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Pathfinder Adventure Subscriber

I am not allowed outdoors, since the government doesn't want WMDs to be visible to spy-satellites.


TOZ wrote:
Kruelaid wrote:
I thought Canada banned you because of that incident with the "sausages".
A rare sighting! He must be on parole from the gulag!

I just scratched that message in the wall. I have trained rats that can now carry my messages out. They have the internets.


I'm strong and I can kick.


Guns don't kill people... I kill people... with guns...Probably NSFW for cursing?


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

I fear no man. Women on the other hand...


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