>>Blame *Cosmo* for ALL your problems here<<


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Pillbug Toenibbler wrote:

I blame Cosmo that I can't help laughing at this Big Bang Theory clip.

I also blame Cosmo that I can't tell if this change in my sense of humor is because either I've accepted my Neutral Evilness or if I experienced some kind of mild brain damage in the night.

Brain damage. No question.

I Blame Cosmo that this isn't self-evident to Pillbug Toenibbler.


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Pillbug Toenibbler wrote:
Earlier today, I had the thought "It's a good thing I can't kill people with my mind, because today would be a massacre." But then I immediately realized I don't want that power, because it'd be too merciful. Now I realize I desire the power to give people massive, crippling strokes with my mind. I blame Cosmo for my embracing my inner Neutral Evil.

I have the very book for you RIGHT HERE, Pillbug.


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I blame Cosmo for Girl Talk in my playlist.


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I Blame Cosmo for the flooded streets I had to drive through to get home from work on Friday.

I Blame Cosmo that this caused Dam age to my car's heating/AC system.

I Blame Cosmo that spending money to fix this means I won't have the money to do something on Wed. that I really wanted to do. :(

Silver Crusade

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I Blame Cosmo for GotG 2 making THIS one of the most badass songs ever. No, really.


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So on a conference call at work yesterday one of the people introduced herself as Cindy Lou. My brain immediately thought "Cindy Lou Who" and I pictured her as no more than 2.

Today I got an email from a business partner who's last name is Mothka and I read it as Mothra.

Thanks, Cosmo.


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John Kretzer wrote:

I Blame Cosmo for the flooded streets I had to drive through to get home from work on Friday.

I Blame Cosmo that this caused Dam age to my car's heating/AC system.

I Blame Cosmo that spending money to fix this means I won't have the money to do something on Wed. that I really wanted to do. :(

All right story time in relation to this...Cosmo out did himself here.

Okay so a friend was willing to loan me some money so I could do that thing I wanted to do. But than I got a text message from the friend I was going with saying he could not make it...since it is a completely new situration to me I decided not to go by myself...so I told my friend who was going to loan me the money that I did not need it anymore...and than I made plans to game with some friends.

So this evening as I was getting ready to go out my friend text me saying he is now free and would I like to go...I told him I did not take the loan and made other plans...but we will try to make the next one.

So I headed to my game got to the GM's house...and people started to cancel...till we finally called the last player and he said he thought there was no game.

So the GM took me out to The Outback for dinner. Totally destroying the diet I am on. Which had to be Cosmo's plan from the start.

Damn You Cosmo!!! *shakes fist angrily *


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Apparently, someone has updated part of Senate Leader Mitch McConnell's wikipedia entry, which made me actually snort-cackle. I blame Cosmo if this is a symptom of my impending mental crack-up.

General Willfred Thermopolae Fucundibus Silliness, III

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Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
Apparently, someone has updated part of Senate Leader Mitch McConnell's wikipedia entry, which made me actually snort-cackle. I blame Cosmo if this is a symptom of my impending mental crack-up.

Copied here for posterity (as it will undoubtedly be changed back at some point).

Spoiler:
McConnell was born on February 20, 1942, as a turtle, in a puppy mill in Sheffield, Alabama, which is now called the Helen Keller Hospital, and raised as a young turtle in nearby Athens.[9] McConnell is the son of Addison Mitchell McConnell, and his wife, Julia (née Shockley). McConnell is of box turtle, alligator snapping turtle, and Galapagos tortoise descent. As a youth, he overcame polio.[10] His family moved to Georgia when he was eight.[11]

When he was a teenaged mutant ninja turtle, his family arrived in Louisville where he attended duPont Manual High School. He graduated without honors from the University of Louisville with a B.A. in political science in 1964. McConnell was president of the Student Council of the College of Arts and Sciences and a member of the Phi Kappa Tau fraternity. He has maintained strong ties to his alma mater and "remains a rabid fan of its sports teams."[12] Three years later, McConnell graduated from the University of Kentucky College of Law, where he was president of the Student Bar Association.

McConnell enlisted in the U.S. Army Reserve at Louisville, Kentucky during his last year of law school. He received an Honorable Discharge for medical reasons (optic neuritis) after five weeks at Fort Knox.[13][14]

This preservation is neither an endorsement nor an indictment of the act of altering Wikipedia for the purpose of humor, merely providing context for the above post for future readers.


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{twitches, pupils dilate wildly} What's the LD50 on fresh, uncut schadenfreude?


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Hunt, the PugWumpus wrote:
{twitches, pupils dilate wildly} What's the LD50 on fresh, uncut schadenfreude?

0.5 mg/kg, obviously. I Blame Cosmo that Hunt doesn't read warning labels.


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Master Pugwampi wrote:
Hunt, the PugWumpus wrote:
{twitches, pupils dilate wildly} What's the LD50 on fresh, uncut schadenfreude?
0.5 mg/kg, obviously. I Blame Cosmo that Hunt doesn't read warning labels.

Well, maybe if they put the warning at the beginning...


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I Blame Cosmo that not one of my friends are having a cook out this weekend.

Dark Archive

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So I dropped the soap in the shower this morning.

With my cat-like reflexes, I snagged it before it hit the ground, but I then felt in a warning twinge in my back, and sure enough, I'd thrown it out.

So now I'm walking with a limp.

This has got to be the least athletic and adventurous story about throwing one's back out, *and* the least interesting story to start with 'I dropped the soap' and end with 'now I'm walking with a limp.'

Thanks Cosmo! :/


Look at it the good way, Set. At least you're not Santiago Cañizares and tried to stop a perfume bottle from hitting the shower floor, ending up severing a tendon in the foot and missing out on the chance of playing in that summer's World Cup.

Wonder what Cosmo had against him...


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I blame Cosmo that the repair bill on my Celica is over twice its Kelly Blue Book value.

Curse you, Cosmo, for making me love my car so much!!!


Praise Cosmo for the beautifully sunny and relaxing walk to school. We even brought the dog and still arrived twenty minutes early.

Now, to go find someone to blame for the lack of wild turkeys that usually roam the woods... But who...


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captain yesterday wrote:
Now, to go find someone to blame for the lack of wild turkeys that usually roam the woods... But who...

Yes, I also blame Cosmo for the lack of bourbons roaming in the woods.

Paizo Employee Malaise-Inducement Construct

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captain yesterday wrote:
Praise Cosmo...

:|

captain yesterday wrote:
...for the ( ugh... good things and stuff)...

blech.

captain yesterday wrote:
Now, to go find someone to blame for the lack of wild turkeys that usually roam the woods... But who...

I can think of someone...

Liberty's Edge

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they don't put cosmo in jail yet? what's wit dat


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Cosmo's Slightly More Evil Twin wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
Praise Cosmo...

:|

captain yesterday wrote:
...for the ( ugh... good things and stuff)...

blech.

captain yesterday wrote:
Now, to go find someone to blame for the lack of wild turkeys that usually roam the woods... But who...
I can think of someone...

I Blame Cosmo for this entire meshuga mess!


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Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
Now, to go find someone to blame for the lack of wild turkeys that usually roam the woods... But who...
Yes, I also blame Cosmo for the lack of bourbons roaming in the woods.

I Blame Cosmo that when I went to favored the above post I also hit reply and this is the only lame thing I can think of.


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I Blame Cosmo that I just lost my tablet.


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I blame Cosmo for making me put onions in the fruit-bowl.

Traumatised doesn't even begin to cover it.


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I blame Cosmo for Nobody's Home somehow still owning a Toyota Celica...have not even seen one of those since my college days of 1999-2003.

That said, rather impressed she's still running, and there is that thing between a man and his car...my Mazda Miata dates back to 1992 so...


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I blame Cosmo that Limey hasn't considered dipping the onions in caramel, and then offering them to kids or adults.


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I blame Cosmo for Onion Heresy.


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I blame Cosmo for both of the family cars coming down with something that needs to be fixed and can't be put off at the same time. Thanks a lot, Cosmo, the synchronization was a nice touch...

I also blame Cosmo for eating this post when I tried to post it the first time and making me type it out again.


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Limeylongears wrote:
I blame Cosmo for Onion Heresy.

{slaps colander of conspiracy piercing onto noggin} The greatest trick the Onion Cabal ever pulled was convincing the world that there wasn't a leek in the boat.


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Or that there was no such thing as a Rebel Scallions.


Limeylongears wrote:
I blame Cosmo for Onion Heresy.

There are no Onions in the Grim Dark Future...

or if you hate onions...

There are only Onions in the Grim Dark Future...


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I blame Cosmo for the lack of Onion Knight.


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Tired of missing out on the twenty first century, so I signed up for twitter. I have no idea what all those settings mean - consider yourself blamed for an hour or so of confusion, Cosmo.

Makes me shudder to even think about Facebook. :/


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I blame Cosmo that I really want use this alias to ask someone "Do you have a flag?"


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I bought a pair of Crocs two weeks ago because my foot hurt, and now they are the only footwear I wear when I'm at home. If I wasn't afraid of them getting stuck under the pedals while driving, I'd probably wear them exclusively.

I must blame Cosmo that I'm totally out of f!cks to give.


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On behalf of the entire board, i blame Cosmo for the paizo website being unpredictable and malfunctioning.

On the positive side..... due to it, any attempts of more babalovedoctor could have been foiled. :)


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I blame Cosmo that I can *only* connect to the Paizo website while on VPN at work. Curse you, Cosmo, doing your utmost to get me in trouble at work!


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I blame Cosmo that Paizo's web folks are getting too good at finding and smiting us gremlins.


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I Blame Cosmo that Paizo's web folks are also merciless when we are found. Give us a running start or something, for Cosmo's sake!

Dark Archive

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I blame Cosmo that I just sneezed so hard that the internet went out and I had to reset my router.

Hopefully none of you were in the middle of a long post...


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I blame Cosmo that Set's mucus has clogged his Internet tubes.


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I blame Cosmo that Devil's advocates are always eager to work overtime looking for loopholes and hypotheticals for his Infernal defense, but they never seem to do any pro bono publico for the everyday folk regularly harmed by evil.

I also blame Cosmo for David E. Kelley's career, the Devil's Advocate SuperPACs, and Ol' Liberty Scarecrows, Inc.*

(* Purveyors of high quality straw humanoids, made in America since 1824.)


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I blame Cosmo that I let an embarrassing secret slip out last night. I like to sing along with songs, but I am a terrible singer. So, for the last couple years, when a song comes on the radio in the car and I am alone, I will often sing along. But I'm not fond of the sound of my voice, so I don't really sing along with the songs... I meow along with the songs*. Pretty much any noise a human can imitate of a cat. It amuses me (I am often easily amused by dumb things), and it works surprising well with certain singers, like Axel Rose of classic-era Guns 'N Roses.

Earlier yesterday, I was meowing/caterwauling along with GnR's "Sweet Child o' Mine" on the drive home. Not unusual for me. Last night, I stopped by my sister's house to catch her up on dad. Normally, when they sit outside on their porch winding down after dinner, they have their radio playing. (Yeah, you already know where this is going.) So, she and I are alone on the porch, she's just finished talking to me, "Sweet Child" comes on the radio, and right when Axel goes into the first chorus...

...without consciously thinking I start meowing along. Not loud, softly, like about at the same audible level most people would hum along. I notice she gives me strange look, but she waits for about another 20 seconds before she interrupts and asks me "What the hell? Are you meowing like a cat?!"

Beet. Red.

* There is one exception to Amby's Meow-Along Time. When The Doors "People Are Strange" comes on the radio, I instead chicken cluck along to it. Yes, I know this is weird.


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I blame Cosmo that you felt the need to confess that on the Internet.

Dark Archive

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It's Cosmo's fault that Ambrosia Slaad is a cat pretending to be a human.

Silver Crusade

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I Blame Cosmo for Amby being adorable.

I also meow to SCoM.


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Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Lost Omens Subscriber
Rysky wrote:
I Blame Cosmo for Amby being adorable.

Valid.

Rysky wrote:
I also meow to SCoM.

To be fair, so does Axl Rose.


Isn't it more of a sad wail by now.

Customer Service Representative

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Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
I blame Cosmo that I let an embarrassing secret slip out last night. I like to sing along with songs, but I am a terrible singer. So, for the last couple years, when a song comes on the radio in the car and I am alone, I will often sing along.

I also sing along with the radio. Really loudly. Also only when no one else is with me. But I used to drive a Jeep, and I lived in a very warm place so most of the year the top was off... and even when it was on it's just a tarp. I often forgot that people not in the vehicle could hear me. There was one day I was singing along with KISS (you can probably guess the song) and after sitting at a stop light for a few seconds I looked over and there was a woman with her window down in the car to my right just laughing. As soon as I saw her I stopped singing and she stared clapping. The guy walking across the crosswalk shouted, "Yeah! Rock on, bro!" While he passed in front of me. The motorcyclist in the turn lane to my left was looking at me. I couldn't see his face because he had a dark visor on his helmet, but his shoulders were heaving like he was laughing, and he gave me the horns. It was super mortifying.

That's how Cosmo works.


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I sing really loudly WITH people in the car.

Not that many people ride in my car with me.

I'm sure it's unrelated.

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