>>Blame *Cosmo* for ALL your problems here<<


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Silver Crusade

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Pillbug Toenibbler wrote:
Rysky wrote:
GM_Beernorg wrote:
Your taste buds just can't repel flavor of that magnitude.
But can they see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Flumph?

I blame Cosmo that Rysky's comment is much funnier than mine.

I also blame Cosmo that I'm still hungry for cereal.

I Blame Cosmo for unintentional upstaging Pillbug.


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I blame Cosmo for my employer f%cking up my weekend, calling me 2 minutes ago to say they've scheduled me on the two free days.

Damnit!

Not funny Cosmo >:(


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I Blame Cosmo for my light bulb burning out.

I Blame Cosmo for making me type in the dark.


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I blame Cosmo for the fact that the Imperial Goblin Navy has no ships.

And is based over a hundred miles away from the ocean.


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Captain Killjoy wrote:

I blame Cosmo for the fact that the Imperial Goblin Navy has no ships.

And is based over a hundred miles away from the ocean.

I Blame Cosmo for Captain Killjoy not realizing that due to this BRILLIANT strategy, the Imperial Goblin Navy can never have a ship sunk or be defeated in naval combat! Huzzah!!!


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Rysky wrote:
Tels wrote:
Rysky wrote:
GM_Beernorg wrote:
Your taste buds just can't repel flavor of that magnitude.
But can they see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Flumph?
Silly Rysky, Flumphs are for Trumps.

-_- not cool.

Flumphs are good aligned.

Mah flumphs! Ma flumphs, ma flumphs, mah flumphs!


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The Yodelling Smurf wrote:
Mah flumphs! Ma flumphs, ma flumphs, mah flumphs!

I blame Cosmo that I now want to see this as an actual parody...


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Wait a minute, I didn't say smurf! Oh, wait...

I blame Cosmo that I can't quote The Yodelling Smurf without catching it...


Rysky wrote:
Tels wrote:
Rysky wrote:
GM_Beernorg wrote:
Your taste buds just can't repel flavor of that magnitude.
But can they see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Flumph?
Silly Rysky, Flumphs are for Trumps.

-_- not cool.

Flumphs are good aligned.

So is Ragathiel.. your point?

...

Wait a damned second! is Trump actually Ragathiel?

Silver Crusade

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Nutcase Entertainment wrote:
Rysky wrote:
Tels wrote:
Rysky wrote:
GM_Beernorg wrote:
Your taste buds just can't repel flavor of that magnitude.
But can they see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Flumph?
Silly Rysky, Flumphs are for Trumps.

-_- not cool.

Flumphs are good aligned.

So is Ragathiel.. your point?

...

Wait a damned second! is Trump actually Ragathiel?

No

Dark Archive

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So it must be Cosmo's fault that I keep getting junk mail flyers about the upcoming election. Ten out of twelve have been, somewhat creepily, for the exact person I was thinking of voting for, and since there are at least three people running from one of the parties, and thirty or so from the other party, I am extremely impressed that the other couple dozen candidates have somehow received my subtle signals that I'm not all that into them and not sent me any information on their positions.

Those other two, 'though, were both dire warnings about what a nightmare the *current* President has been for the country, and had not a single bit of information recommending any alternative candidate, making them, essentially, paid-for advertisements encouraging me *not* to vote for someone who *isn't running for President anyway.*

I mean, it's cool and all, that our political class has enough money to blow that they can counsel me not to do what I can't do anyway, but why not something less quixotic and more entertaining like, 'Don't vote for Kaiser Wilhelm! He's not even American (and also dead)!' or 'Don't eat the moon! It's not really made out of cheese!'


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Vingorg wrote:
Captain Killjoy wrote:

I blame Cosmo for the fact that the Imperial Goblin Navy has no ships.

And is based over a hundred miles away from the ocean.

I Blame Cosmo for Captain Killjoy not realizing that due to this BRILLIANT strategy, the Imperial Goblin Navy can never have a ship sunk or be defeated in naval combat! Huzzah!!!

I also blame Cosmo that Captain Killjoy did not realize this. Think it through, man.

You have not lived until you've seen the carrier IGS Flammable Wooden Target launch landboats against a town full of unsuspecting Taldan nobles, who are then clubbed and skinned! War on the pinkskins for fun and profit!


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Fireman Gob Montag wrote:
War on the pinkskins for fun and profit!

But I HATE fun!

For which I blame Cosmo!

Silver Crusade

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I Blame Cosmo for my mom calling me at work a little while ago.

Why?

Because she was concerned.

Why?

Because while she was getting food next door she saw a black male enter my place of employment.

...

...

I work at a gym.

*head* *desk* *head* *desk* *head* *desk*


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I blame Cosmo for the amount of painkillers Rysky's going to need, after repeadtedly slamming her head into the desk.

Silver Crusade

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The Fiend Fantastic wrote:
I blame Cosmo for the amount of painkillers Rysky's going to need, after repeadtedly slamming her head into the desk.

I Blame Cosmo for running out of Smirnoff.


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I blame Cosmo for one of the players in my party blowing his top today because I wasn't countering the magic of the enemy spellcasters. We're playing Spelljammer (converting it to Pathfinder, somewhat, on the fly). We got boarded by two goblin wizards who teleported aboard, bringing with them a troll and a naga buffed with resist fire and stoneskin along with two mutant goblins with dragon wings and an acid breath weapon (who also had stoneskin). The goblins flew around the ship, using their breath weapon and alchemist fire to bomb anyone on the outside, while the troll and naga engaged the party. The two goblin wizards immediately teleported elsewhere on the ship and began to reek havoc.

I'm a 5th level Bard. Both of the goblins were 10th level wizards. I have access to 2nd level spells, they have access to 5th level spells. HOW THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU EXPECT ME TO GO TOE-TO-TOE WITH THEM!?!!?!

Anyway, 3 characters and a lot of our npc crew memebers were killed before we slew the naga, troll and one of the mutants. The two wizards teleported away before we could so much as hurt them.

Silver Crusade

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I Blame Cosmo for Tels' GM being a Jackass.

I also Blame Cosmo for Tels' fellow players blaming him for their GM being a jackass.


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I blame Cosmo for Rysky having to blame you for Tel's GM being a jackass.

Also, I blame Cosmo for Tel's party mates having unreal expectations of a 5th level bards spell power and countersong capacity.


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I blame Cosmo for Fireman Gob giving me the idea to create a "goblin dirt armada" and me actually deciding to do it, now no one is safe from goblin land pirates.


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I blame Cosmo for GM-Beernorg sullying the mighty Imperial Goblin Navy's name by calling it a mere "dirt armada."

THERE WILL BE BLOOD! SOME OF IT POSSIBLY NOT OUR OWN!


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See what I mean, goblin land pirate, arrived after only 9 minutes...what have I done!

Paizo Employee Malaise-Inducement Construct

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GM_Beernorg wrote:
"goblin dirt armada"... now no one is safe from goblin land pirates.

Let me just tie a few images together in your mind, regarding Goblin Land Pirates:

Think various types of ships* covered with legions of goblins and being lead/piloted by hobgoblins.

...maybe with an ogre mage leading the whole show.

Have fun!

*:
...aka war rigs.

Paizo Employee Malaise-Inducement Construct

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...and we certainly cannot forget the goblin bard, of course!


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::evil grin + tented fingers:: Crazy Malg: Fiery Trade Route is a go!


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My new in-ear headphones arrived today, and the retail package was extra sturdy plastic. After scrounging around, I spotted the waiter-style corkscrew with foil-cutting knife, and decided it would do to slice open this not-too-big plastic packaging I am holding in my other hand. With a little persistence, I manage to saw through the packaging and not cut the earphone cord with the blade.

Or myself. Hooray!

But then...

somehow...

as I half-paid attention to folding away the blade, one-handedly, I managed to slice my fingers. And the cuts bled much more than I thought they should, only stopping after a 7-8 minutes of direct pressure and many paper towels.

Is it my fault for using a dull-ish blade and trying to fold it away with one-hand? No. It's my fault for actually "paper-cutting" my other hand on the plastic packaging.

...

So, thanks for that, Cosmo.

Edit: And yes, apparently, I bled on the headphone cord too.

Silver Crusade

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*kisses Slaadi's booboo better*


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Rysky wrote:
*kisses Slaadi's booboo better*

Hey I got booboos....

Oh I Blame Cosmo for the GM of my group going away for the week.


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*Puts a plaster bandage with a picture of a fuzzy kitten on JK's booboo.*

I also blame Cosmo for the missing of small cloths needed for decorating a serving platter.

Silver Crusade

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I Blame Cosmo for The Fiends Fantastic alleviating John's booboo before me. Oh well, what I get for requiring sleep.

Silver Crusade

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I Blame Cosmo that I require sleep.


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I blame Cosmo for The Ninja.


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The Fiend Fantastic wrote:

*Puts a plaster bandage with a picture of a fuzzy kitten on JK's booboo.*

I also blame Cosmo for the missing of small cloths needed for decorating a serving platter.

I Blame Cosmo for The Fiend Fantastic ready supply of bandages.


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Well it's in the kit. Maybe you don't like kittens, only the big ones like Floyd? ;)

I blame Cosmo for the evening crew of yesterday, not refilling cutlery supplies, which i now had to resupply myself.

I also blame Cosmo for JK getting a booboo in the 1st place. ;)


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I apologize for my boredom, and need for attention.

... wait a minute, wrong thread...


The Fiend Fantastic wrote:

Well it's in the kit. Maybe you don't like kittens, only the big ones like Floyd? ;)

I also blame Cosmo for JK getting a booboo in the 1st place. ;)

Damn you...you...fantasitc fiend! Foiled again.


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I having been dealing with a slow gnawing craving for chocolate the last couple days, which I'll probably attempt to sate with a mug of hot cocoa (from non-fancy envelope of cocoa mix). But late this afternoon, I was suddenly hit by an intense blast of Sudden-Onset Peppermint Withdrawal (none since Dec 31st). I am currently making my Will saves against a short drive to the liquor store for a bottle of Rumple Minze and getting totally snockered on mugs of peppermint cocoa... but just barely.

I blame Cosmo that high school health class never warned of the dangers of peppermint addiction.


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Cosmo's Slightly More Evil Twin wrote:
GM_Beernorg wrote:
"goblin dirt armada"... now no one is safe from goblin land pirates.

Let me just tie a few images together in your mind, regarding Goblin Land Pirates:

Think various types of ships* covered with legions of goblins and being lead/piloted by hobgoblins.

...maybe with an ogre mage leading the whole show.

Have fun!

** spoiler omitted **

That made my day today.

I Blame Cosmo for the massive smile I have now.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
John Kretzer wrote:
Damn you...you...fantastic fiend! Foiled again.

It's a devil's job, plan ahead. :)

I blame Cosmo for my boss planning me on three more shifts far away from home. The costs of fuel, damnit!!

Silver Crusade

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Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

I having been dealing with a slow gnawing craving for chocolate the last couple days, which I'll probably attempt to sate with a mug of hot cocoa (from non-fancy envelope of cocoa mix). But late this afternoon, I was suddenly hit by an intense blast of Sudden-Onset Peppermint Withdrawal (none since Dec 31st). I am currently making my Will saves against a short drive to the liquor store for a bottle of Rumple Minze and getting totally snockered on mugs of peppermint cocoa... but just barely.

I blame Cosmo that high school health class never warned of the dangers of peppermint addiction.

You can do it Slaadi! I believe in you!

Otherwise I Blame Cosmo if you fail.


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I blame Cosmo for the delicious cooling properties of peppermint, and its addictive effects on slaadi.


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Oh great and wonderful Cosmo, I praise thee for... wait a minute, I think I'm still a bit off here...


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I Blame Cosmo for all the annoying stuff that happened with my credit card this last week.


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I blame Cosmo for this horrid cold I got forcing me to use one of my paid sick days already so early in the year. C'mon C-Dude! I only get 3 a year!


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I blame Cosmo for Calex only getting 3 sick days a year, seriously, I work in an evil IT slave cubicle joint, and we at least get 5-14 sick days depending on seniority and time served. 3, that is just cruel Cosmo!


Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

I having been dealing with a slow gnawing craving for chocolate the last couple days, which I'll probably attempt to sate with a mug of hot cocoa (from non-fancy envelope of cocoa mix). But late this afternoon, I was suddenly hit by an intense blast of Sudden-Onset Peppermint Withdrawal (none since Dec 31st). I am currently making my Will saves against a short drive to the liquor store for a bottle of Rumple Minze and getting totally snockered on mugs of peppermint cocoa... but just barely.

I blame Cosmo that high school health class never warned of the dangers of peppermint addiction.

Wenn Slaadenfrauen zünchen in der Floridammerung

"Ich arbelduppoff sussenfricht der schappzenyumyumyum"
Ein Cosmoblamenimmerichzuröbelangerosen
Mit omnischmertz und zigmundfreude und vorsprung technik hosen


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I Blame Cosmo for the stomach issues I had to start the week with...than the back issues I got on Tuesday that lasted till yesterday...than my knee issue that came and went all during this week...and finally yesterday my heel started hurt so much I had a limp...all I did was stand up.


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I Blame Cosmo for hang overs.


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I blame Cosmo for not having invented a 100% efficient anti-hangover pill.

I'd be wealthy rich a thousand times over.


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I Blame Cosmo for this cold I think I am getting.

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