Michael Bay's Ninja turtles


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Sovereign Court

Yeah, a bit uncanny vallyish I agree.


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Rynjin wrote:
Heathansson wrote:
yeah; the 90's version was soooooo much better.

Much, actually.

Even Vanilla Ice's cold dead eyes aren't as creepy as that...thing wearing Mikey's headband/mask.

the original movie was cute. I liked it- had more in common with the darker original comic. The sequels... Not so much. You want to hold those up over Bay just cuz, well, I'll pass you an extra large glass of haterade.


I hope Splinter is not removed. If this movie is good i would be ok with him showing up in the end as a mentor. Maybe Shredder is tied to a company like Oscorp that makes other mutants.


Hama wrote:

So the trailer came out

I will actually go and see this. It looks cool.

That's the thing with Bay Movie Trailers. They always look cool. Buildings collapsing or other suitably large and impressive amounts of property damage, military shot, hot girl, then the badass reveal of the protagonists and action scenes. But once you see the movie, you realize that you've already seen everything worth seeing in the trailer.


Heathansson wrote:
yeah; the 90's version was soooooo much better.

Damn right they are. At least they didn't look like the Kane from See No Evil...


Freehold DM wrote:
Rynjin wrote:
Heathansson wrote:
yeah; the 90's version was soooooo much better.

Much, actually.

Even Vanilla Ice's cold dead eyes aren't as creepy as that...thing wearing Mikey's headband/mask.

the original movie was cute. I liked it- had more in common with the darker original comic. The sequels... Not so much. You want to hold those up over Bay just cuz, well, I'll pass you an extra large glass of haterade.

If I'm a hater for recognizing when something has started its own creepy colony in the uncanny valley, then pass me all the haterade you've got because nothing's going to make that less terrifying.


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Hey man, the things from the dark crystal freak me the hell out. Everyone's uncanny Valley is different.

Sovereign Court

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Irontruth wrote:

I don't mind Michael Bay, I really only have one complaint about his movies: they're too long.

I enjoy brainless action movies with lots of explosions. The thing is that too much and too long gets boring. 90-100 minutes is the sweet spot of an action movie with little to no plot IMO. The acting doesn't need to be great, the plot can have holes, it just needs to be edited well and have an eye for pacing.

If they were tighter time-wise, it would seriously solve almost every other issue with his movies.

This....and well the terrible stereotyping.


Freehold DM wrote:
Hey man, the things from the dark crystal freak me the hell out. Everyone's uncanny Valley is different.

I think this is a rare instance where you and I are in complete agreement pop-culture-wise, Freehold. I cannot watch that movie. Brrr.


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Shadowborn wrote:
Rynjin wrote:


Also one has to wonder if "heroes are created" and someone purposefully decided to splice animals together to make superheroes why the f!*$ would they pick a turtle

I'll play devil's advocate.

  • natural armor
  • all of a turtle's senses are keen, especially their eyesight and sense of smell
  • natural longevity
  • being able to quickly retract one's head into an armored space makes for a decent defensive maneuver

Yeah, that's all I've got. Apparently they're not going for the accident storyline, which might mean they're phasing Splinter out entirely, which is a bad move to me.

Then again, their original origin story dovetailed off Daredevil's, which of course is a sticky IP situation.

And yeah, those eyes and the fingernails are just enough to drop them right into the uncanny valley and deposit them directly in the Creepville town square. Ugh.

plus, they can breathe through their back side nethers.

Liberty's Edge

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Freehold DM wrote:
Rynjin wrote:
Heathansson wrote:
yeah; the 90's version was soooooo much better.

Much, actually.

Even Vanilla Ice's cold dead eyes aren't as creepy as that...thing wearing Mikey's headband/mask.

the original movie was cute. I liked it- had more in common with the darker original comic. The sequels... Not so much. You want to hold those up over Bay just cuz, well, I'll pass you an extra large glass of haterade.

Meh....

it was pretty much the difference between

"Splinter taught them to be ninja teens (He's a radical rat!)
Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines (That's a fact, Jack!)
Raphael is cool but crude (Gimme a break!)
Michaelangelo is a party dude (Party!)"

and

" We are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. ... We strike hard, and fade away... into the night,"

that put me off the whole live action/and/or/animated turtle thing.

Bay's sins against.....whatever don't even factor for me. It's been corny for forever and a day.

They cashed in on their creation though; glad they made some dough.


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Michael Bays films are almost bad enough to make me want Uwe bowl back in the "scam money from the german government" business


BigNorseWolf wrote:

Michael Bays films are almost bad enough to make me want Uwe bowl back in the "scam money from the german government" business

seriously. Uwe boll? Good god, Bay is cheesy and an explosion nut, boll is something else.


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Yeah, but Uwe will fight you.


Yes, but the government never brought Uwe Boll in to help fight terrorists.


Look, all I know is that Bay is a bad enough dude to save the president


Freehold DM wrote:
BigNorseWolf wrote:

Michael Bays films are almost bad enough to make me want Uwe bowl back in the "scam money from the german government" business

seriously. Uwe boll? Good god, Bay is cheesy and an explosion nut, boll is something else.

yes but at least Uwe had the decency to ruin his own stories, not my childhood.

Shadow Lodge

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Most of Boll's movies were video game based.


Isn't he doing a Candy Crush Saga movie?


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Forget that it's a Bay movie, or that the Turtles look creepy, look at the casting. Megan Fox as April? William Fichtner as Shredder? Not that Fichtner is a terrible actor, but he's white. I'm not usually one to complain about a race swap, but in this case it's pretty important to the character. And Megan Fox is less an actress than a mannequin. Even with these concerns though, I'm going to hold off judgement until I see the movie.

Sovereign Court

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Ivan Rûski wrote:
Forget that it's a Bay movie, or that the Turtles look creepy, look at the casting. Megan Fox as April? William Fichtner as Shredder? Not that Fichtner is a terrible actor, but he's white. I'm not usually one to complain about a race swap, but in this case it's pretty important to the character. And Megan Fox is less an actress than a mannequin. Even with these concerns though, I'm going to hold off judgement until I see the movie.

I think they are going off the beaten path with the story so shredder being white isnt that problematic. Of course its evil corporation experimenting on stuff and evil lead dude of said corportation becomes a villian so nothing new here.


Pan wrote:
Ivan Rûski wrote:
Forget that it's a Bay movie, or that the Turtles look creepy, look at the casting. Megan Fox as April? William Fichtner as Shredder? Not that Fichtner is a terrible actor, but he's white. I'm not usually one to complain about a race swap, but in this case it's pretty important to the character. And Megan Fox is less an actress than a mannequin. Even with these concerns though, I'm going to hold off judgement until I see the movie.
I think they are going off the beaten path with the story so shredder being white isnt that problematic. Of course its evil corporation experimenting on stuff and evil lead dude of said corportation becomes a villian so nothing new here.

But why Shredder with this whole experimenting with mutagen thing then? Why not, say, Baxter Stockman instead? Or literally anybody but the best known villain from the franchise who is known to be Japanese? Come up with a new one even, and setup Shredder as the villain of the inevitable sequel. It's just not smart deviating from the character as much as they seem to be, especially when there is a successful tv series airing right now with a Japanese Shredder. It is just going to confuse the kids who see the movie. Anyways, rant over. Still going to see it.


Having finally seen the trailer, it looks better than I expected. But the changes don't make a lot of sense, especially with them contradicting the on-going cartoon.

I agree, Baxter Stockman would make far more sense if they wanted to go for a "created by a known villain" angle.


It seems K. Todd Freeman will be Baxter Stockman in the upcoming flick, though based on the preview I'm presuming it'll be as more of a supporting villain. Still, Stockman's in the film at least.

I still don't know how I feel about it though. I think I'm mostly experiencing fear and confusion.


who creates splinter and is he old or young?


wicked cool wrote:
who creates splinter and is he old or young?

Also is he Hamato Yoshi in this version or his rat? Or also completely unrelated? And in case of him being unrelated, is he a man mutated towards rat, or a rat mutated toward man?


Splinter, also white. Unless, of course, Danny Woodburn can do a mean Japanese accent...well, and he's a rat, so I suppose he'll be brown...unless he's an albino rat, in which case, yes, white.


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Ivan Rûski wrote:
Not that Fichtner is a terrible actor, but he's white. I'm not usually one to complain about a race swap, but in this case it's pretty important to the character.

Shredder has a race? And it's important? o.O


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Slaunyeh wrote:
Ivan Rûski wrote:
Not that Fichtner is a terrible actor, but he's white. I'm not usually one to complain about a race swap, but in this case it's pretty important to the character.
Shredder has a race? And it's important? o.O

The original shredder is a Japanese Ninja master. And most adaptations portray him as such, or as an alien posing as such.

Sovereign Court

Yeah, his real name being Oroku Saki. Now if Finchter's shredder was adopted by Japanese and grew up there....


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Huh. I've seen a lot of TMHT as a kid, and I never once wondered about his race. Or why he had an army of ninja.

When you fight mutant turtles, I guess it never did register as important whether you're from Japan or Okinawa. :)


Hama wrote:
Yeah, his real name being Oroku Saki. Now if Finchter's shredder was adopted by Japanese and grew up there....

This I would be ok with.


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Shadowborn wrote:
Splinter, also white. Unless, of course, Danny Woodburn can do a mean Japanese accent...well, and he's a rat, so I suppose he'll be brown...unless he's an albino rat, in which case, yes, white.

*sigh* Methinks I need to just stop watching for news about this movie and wait until it comes out. Otherwise I'm gonna be going into it with so much baggage there will be no way I'll like it.


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Considering that in the original movie, which some people here have lionized, had splinter as a pet rat practicing martial arts in his cage before mutating, I'm taking this with a grain of salt.

Sovereign Court

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Wow y'all are really getting worked up about this. Its Bay don't do this to your selves.


I would say much the same, but I love Bay and hate whedon, so.. There's that.


Freehold DM wrote:
Considering that in the original movie, which some people here have lionized, had splinter as a pet rat practicing martial arts in his cage before mutating, I'm taking this with a grain of salt.

Didn't the original comic also have this as part of the story. At least in the beginning? Am I misremembering? Its been a lot of years...

Sovereign Court

Freehold DM wrote:
I would say much the same, but I love Bay and hate whedon, so.. There's that.

A perfect prompt for me to disregard everything you say about movies and tv shows...


Hama wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
I would say much the same, but I love Bay and hate whedon, so.. There's that.
A perfect prompt for me to disregard everything you say about movies and tv shows...

sorry, but I don't think TV and movies were in an abyss until whedon appeared. I will never understand the fanatical devotion his fans display, and I never get tired of the look of shock horror and dismay I see on their faces when I simply state whedon isn't perfect, much less what I think of him.


Freehold DM wrote:
Considering that in the original movie, which some people here have lionized, had splinter as a pet rat practicing martial arts in his cage before mutating, I'm taking this with a grain of salt.

I'm going off of a reference from the role playing game I believe something along those lines was in the comic too. (if not the actual practice, the fact that he was an exceptional rat even before mutating)

Sovereign Court RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8

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Shadowborn wrote:
Splinter, also white. Unless, of course, Danny Woodburn can do a mean Japanese accent...well, and he's a rat, so I suppose he'll be brown...unless he's an albino rat, in which case, yes, white.

Yes, because you can't have the voice actor not match the ink suit..

Sovereign Court

2 people marked this as a favorite.

I dont pray to the hate or love shrines of Bay or Whedon but I do know where to set my expectations of them. Just sayin.

Sovereign Court

Freehold DM wrote:
Hama wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
I would say much the same, but I love Bay and hate whedon, so.. There's that.
A perfect prompt for me to disregard everything you say about movies and tv shows...
sorry, but I don't think TV and movies were in an abyss until whedon appeared. I will never understand the fanatical devotion his fans display, and I never get tired of the look of shock horror and dismay I see on their faces when I simply state whedon isn't perfect, much less what I think of him.

I honestly couldn't care less about your opinion on Whedon himself. I, myself don't have a very high opinion of the man. What I do love is some of his works, which are beyond quality.

Firefly coming to mind first. Plus he wrote some amazing scripts. Plus he wrote and directed Avengers.

See, I've found it a perfect gauge of personality. A person who doesn't like Firefly? Someone I don't want to be hanging out with.


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Hama wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
Hama wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
I would say much the same, but I love Bay and hate whedon, so.. There's that.
A perfect prompt for me to disregard everything you say about movies and tv shows...
sorry, but I don't think TV and movies were in an abyss until whedon appeared. I will never understand the fanatical devotion his fans display, and I never get tired of the look of shock horror and dismay I see on their faces when I simply state whedon isn't perfect, much less what I think of him.

I honestly couldn't care less about your opinion on Whedon himself. I, myself don't have a very high opinion of the man. What I do love is some of his works, which are beyond quality.

Firefly coming to mind first. Plus he wrote some amazing scripts. Plus he wrote and directed Avengers.

See, I've found it a perfect gauge of personality. A person who doesn't like Firefly? Someone I don't want to be hanging out with .

yup, perfectly sane and reasonable, as all other whedon fans....

Sovereign Court

@hama that is a bit extreme. I have major disagreements about art, philopsophy, or things in general with many of my friends. I can have constructive interesting conversations despite our differences. I really value that and have to say if the person is incapable of having a civil discussion only then I wouldnt want to hang out with them. /shrug

Sovereign Court

This didn't come as a fluke. Like OMG HE NO LIEK FIREFLIEZ ME HATEZ.
It's just that I've found that people who don't like Firefly and I generally have very, very little in common. And friendships very rarely form out of it.

I mean I dated and was engaged to a girl who hated Firefly vehemently for 6 years. And everything Whendon. We broke it off, but not because of a TV show.


Matthew Morris wrote:
Shadowborn wrote:
Splinter, also white. Unless, of course, Danny Woodburn can do a mean Japanese accent...well, and he's a rat, so I suppose he'll be brown...unless he's an albino rat, in which case, yes, white.

Yes, because you can't have the voice actor not match the ink suit..

You seem to have missed what should be fairly obvious as me making light of the situation.

Movies and cartoons have made a habit of messing up the original storyline in one way or another for over 30 years now. Nothing this movie can do will make it that much worse, unless Bay decides to lower the bar once more.


Hama wrote:

This didn't come as a fluke. Like OMG HE NO LIEK FIREFLIEZ ME HATEZ.

It's just that I've found that people who don't like Firefly and I generally have very, very little in common. And friendships very rarely form out of it.

I mean I dated and was engaged to a girl who hated Firefly vehemently for 6 years. And everything Whendon. We broke it off, but not because of a TV show.

my days of not taking whedon fans seriously are coming to a middle.


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Shadowborn wrote:
Nothing this movie can do will make it that much worse, unless Bay decides to lower the bar once more.

You're the guy in the horror movie that says "I'll be right back" aren't you?


Shadowborn wrote:


You seem to have missed what should be fairly obvious as me making light of the situation.

Movies and cartoons have made a habit of messing up the original storyline in one way or another for over 30 years now. Nothing this movie can do will make it that much worse, unless Bay decides to lower the bar once more.

Sure, but not in this case. In the original work, Splinter is a mutated rat. He has no race that can be "accurately" portrayed by a real actor.

That said, I was not impressed by the trailer. I may still see the movie, but we'll have to see.

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