Fun (or funny) ideas for magic items.


Homebrew and House Rules

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Sczarni

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So I thought I would ask what are some of the fun or funny magic items people have come up with for their games.

One I came up with were the Gloves of Invisibility, They render the wearer invisible when the wearer places his hands over his eyes, one drawback, the wearer can not see while they are invisible.

What items have you came up with?


I didn't come up with this, but I've used it in my games. The "balancing quarterstaff" which is a staff that magically balances itself standing straight up. Give one to your group for all sorts of hilarity.

My brother once gave my fighter a magic sword that squealed with joy every time I got a critical hit.

It's probably best not to talk about the spear that grew longer if you rubbed it...

Then there was the uncuttable magic rope. If you tried to cut it, it would instantly fix the cut. We made the mistake of tying up someone in it and had to make our rope checks to untie it since we couldn't cut him free.

Some other things that come to mind:

The magic tube that projected light in a single direction by pressing a button.

The "portable campfire" that was a normal campfire that you could roll up into a tube and put in your backpack. When you unrolled it, it was a campfire again.

The "seeds of the green giant" that when planted would grow almost instantly into giant versions of whatever was on the label.

The "dancing sword" that literally "danced". As I recall it did the "Twist" and the "Foxtrot".

There were more. I played with some real funny dudes.


Adamantine Dragon wrote:

It's probably best not to talk about the spear that grew longer if you rubbed it...

power pole extend!!!

Sczarni

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I also came up the Bag of Dead Kittens, it functions as a normal Bag of Holding but had a 25% chance that when you retrieved an item instead you pulled out a dead kitten. You wouldn't know what that you were pulling out a dead kitten until it was out of the bag.


An Intelligent Artifact Spear that could shift into a Javelin, Shortspear, Spear, or Longspear. All could be thrown and instantly returned to the thrower once the attack resolved and had shocking burst. Oh and a +6 base bonus.

The drawback: It would only work in the hands of the Female with the Highest Charisma within 30 feet. And was a horribly rude Pervert.


The whole flashlight thing was so simple back in 2ED. Shiny silver scroll tube, continual light on a Platinum or Silver piece, cap it with glass or whatever and you have a flashlight.


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northbrb wrote:
I also came up the Bag of Dead Kittens, it functions as a normal Bag of Holding but had a 25% chance that when you retrieved an item instead you pulled out a dead kitten. You wouldn't know what that you were pulling out a dead kitten until it was out of the bag.

Heh. Guess you could say that when you roll a 25 or lower, the cat's outta the bag.


Rynjin wrote:
Heh. Guess you could say that when you roll a 25 or lower, the cat's outta the bag.

Okay you need to lay off the Dominic Deegan...

Flashlights are still easy. A Modified Hooded or Bullseye Lantern with an Ioun Torch in it.


Azaelas Fayth wrote:
Okay you need to lay off the Dominic Deegan...

Who?


Azaelas Fayth wrote:
Okay you need to lay off the Dominic Deegan...

And you deserve a high five.

@ Rynjin: Clicky. It has some of the best/worst puns in existence. Off the top of my head, I can't think of particular pages with them, but they happen a lot.


Any strip with Dominic's Father in it is guarenteed at least a Minor Pun.

Perfect for this thread.


Dorn Of Citadel Adbar wrote:
The whole flashlight thing was so simple back in 2ED. Shiny silver scroll tube, continual light on a Platinum or Silver piece, cap it with glass or whatever and you have a flashlight.

Yep, every single character of mine had one of these, and a bag of continual light pebbles in an opaque pouch. Lots and lots of uses for continual light pebbles...

Some other items that have come to mind since my other post...

Self-cleaning plates and utensils.

Return-teleport coins and jewels (you buy something with them, and they teleport back to your pocket 24 hours later)

2D permanent illusion box - Point it at something, activate it, and it creates a 2D permanent illusion of whatever you pointed it at.

There were more. We took great pride in creating stuff like this...


Modern Tech Fantasy Style!


i once had a red fuzzy doll, that when you tickled it, casted hideous laughter. give you three guesses as to the inspiration.


+5 Toaster wrote:
i once had a red fuzzy doll, that when you tickled it, casted hideous laughter. give you three guesses as to the inspiration.

I think that's three more than we need...


+5 Toaster wrote:
i once had a red fuzzy doll, that when you tickled it, casted hideous laughter. give you three guesses as to the inspiration.

Gah! By the Goddess you devil!


The Ring of Mel: back when he was epic, Mr Gibson the younger could get the tar beat out of him and STILL look cool. Modern versions of this ring could be updated to The Ring of Statham or some-such. Anyway, its a minor Prestidigitation effect. It didn't make you look any cooler, but it DID preserve whatever coolness your character had going on, regardless of ANY situation.

Examples included a character thrown into a mud pit to be humiliated stood in dramatic slow mo and the mire sloughed off JUST SO to highlight his cheekbones as he grimaced and glared at the villager muttering "Big mistake..." There was also the time that a female paladin stripped of her armor stood in front of a young red dragon, failed her save and took a massive charring; her clothes also failed but the ring didn't, meaning that instead of being naked her tattered rags hung in JUST the right places to preserve her dignity.


A small box that when activated plays a song imbued at creation via Ghost Sound.

Yes, a one-song magical I-pod.


Darigaaz the Igniter wrote:

A small box that when activated plays a song imbued at creation via Ghost Sound.

Yes, a one-song magical I-pod.

LOL, you reminded me, we were gaming when the original "Sony Walkman" was introduced, and so of course my brother had to have one in-game. Back then our group was all about researching and creating custom magic items, so he created an item that would record Bardic performances and replay them.

We even used it in game to reproduce a bard's performance as a distraction...

We had a coin that would cast "hyptonize" or "fascinate" (I don't recall which) when it was spun on a tabletop...

I would guess that well over half of our magic stuff back then was totally custom stuff...


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i heard this from one of my friends at a comic shop.

a cursed magical gold coin

one day a party of adventures were walking down a gravil road, and the greedy one saw something shiny on the road. he found 1 gold coin. he then put it in his coin purse. moments go by and the same guy heard a munching sound. he stopped and didn't hear it again. this happened 2 or more times before he realized it was coming from his coin purse. he then opened it up and saw just 1 gold coin left.


Wilbur35 wrote:

i heard this from one of my friends at a comic shop.

a cursed magical gold coin

one day a party of adventures were walking down a gravil road, and the greedy one saw something shiny on the road. he found 1 gold coin. he then put it in his coin purse. moments go by and the same guy heard a munching sound. he stopped and didn't hear it again. this happened 2 or more times before he realized it was coming from his coin purse. he then opened it up and saw just 1 gold coin left.

We'd need an entire thread just for cursed items...


I wrote this to solve the 'new guy in the party when the party is where no new guy could appear' problem:

The Bag of Trickeds

This bag, when found, typically will appear to contain nothing. If felt into without looking within, a small, warm, vaguely-sensed object is detected. If it is drawn forth, it becomes surrounded by mists, and enlarges and resolves into (The New PC). At this point, the bag will suddenly contain various adventuring equipments as might be expected to be used by (The New PC). These cannot be removed from the bag by others, by any means, short of the death of (The New PC). (The New PC) will be helpless for an hour, disoriented for the next, dazed for an hour after that, and thereafter, normal. If the adventurer's equipments are all removed from the bag, the bag will thereafter show in the gloom at its bottom the sparkle of something metallic and silvery. If the unknown something is reached for, the person reaching becomes the bag's next occupant. If they are drawn forth promptly, their helplessness will be only very brief. Their equipments will be found in the bag, as expected. Occupancy of a Bag of Trickeds for long periods of time often causes profound and lasting amnesia, delusional memories of distant places and events, or combinations thereof. Or not. :)


i would like to see all the cursed items people have made.


Cursing sword (or any weapon)
+1 magic weapon that increases its "+" value (max +5) for every round it's weilded and the weilder yells an expletive in common as loud as they can. The "+" value decreases by 1 for every round out of combat or that they don't yell expletives. This effect is cumulative (-2 per round if out of combat and not cursing)


Dotting. Good stuff by the way.

Sczarni

I created the Wings of Icarus, the functioned identical to wings of flying except when you reach the maximum height the wings fall apart and the character plummets to the ground.


One of mine is a Feather Fall Item that takes up the Shoulders slot. It only activates if you fall 20 or more feet but negates any falling damage regardless of the distance and once it has activated you must spend 1-Minute Resetting it to be used again.

So I made a Magical Parachute. It is a pretty cheap item. Around 3/4 the cost of a Ring of Feather Falling or such item.


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OK, some cursed items from our games:

The cowardly +3 longsword which worked perfectly as a +3 longsword, but screamed in wild panic whenever it was in combat and was in the habit of trying to escape from its "owner."

The "finger of doom" which radiated powerful magic and if placed where a finger had been freshly cut off would attach in the place of the missing finger. Once attached the finger would allow the "owner" to shoot magic missiles as if a wizard of the same character level. However, it also would randomly fire off "finger of death" at a randomly chosen target within range. As the GM should have predicted, the ultimate owner of this finger changed alignment to chaotic evil and just went with it.

Boots of stumbling and slipping: These boots seemed to be boots of striding and jumping until the wearer attempted to use them in combat, at which time they gave the wearer an automatic "1" roll on any attempt to use them.

Feather Token - Magpie: This appeared to be a normal message carrying feather token until it was triggered whereupon the token became a magpie which stole the shiniest thing available and flew away.

Belt of Chastity - This appeared to be a normal belt of strength until the wearer engaged in any sexual activity upon which case it gave the wearer a -4 to str for a week. Yeah, this was a custom GM object designed purposely to curb the raging libido of a particular player character...

The dagger of betrayal - This appeared to be a standard +2 dagger until used for a backstab, in which case it yelled out a warning to the intended victim, negating the backstab and exposing the wielder.

Most of these were not my own creations, but were things we encountered in our games. Some may even have come from books, I dunno. I never bought those kinds of books.

My "cursed" items are generally more subtle things. A typical curse would be a sword that provides a direct visual and audio link back to the curse creator. Most of the time my players have no idea they have any cursed item at all.


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How about this for a curse (it's not fun or funny though): Weapon of Remorse

At the moment when the player actually strikes a killing blow with the weapon they percieve, w/all 5 senses, every wound sustained by the victim. They lose no actual HP but if they fail a decent will save they are Stunned for 1 round, sickened for 3; even if they make the save they're nauseated for 1 round.

The only way to remove the cursed item is to repent for all the killing.

I just always liked that moment in the movie "The Crow" where the hero, an undead avenger, meets the BBEG at the end - the BBEG is the mastermind whose schemes brought a horrible death on the hero and his girlfriend. Anyway, the hero grabs the villain and "gives" him 36 hours of pain and agony his girlfriend had to endure before she actually died. This curse is also kind of in line with a forlarren fey.


Dot


The Dagger of Friendship (adapted for Pathfinder)

A simple +1 dagger that casts Cure Moderate Wounds (2d8+4) on whomever it pierces.

Thing heals more damage that it could ever deal but the entire process if as painful as being stabbed.


Of course on Undead, it's the Dagger of F#@6 S#!7 up.


Club sandwich: Two slices of rye bread with a hand club in between.
The club is bane to vampires if you care more about the wording of the title than the spirit.

Grand Lodge

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A while back, I wrote up an idea that got rejected from a major publishing studio. I wonder why:

Orcish Ioun Stone

Aura weak transmutation; CL 12th

Slot -; Price 5,000 gp; Weight - (or 10 lbs)

DESCRIPTION

This crude ioun stone is little more than a rock the size of a watermelon imbued with telekinetic magic. When active, it infuriatingly circles the user's head at close range, intercepting incoming attacks but also impairing his vision. The user gains a +2 deflection bonus to his AC but also suffers a -2 penalty on Perception skill checks.

CONSTRUCTION REQUIREMENTS

Craft Wondrous Item, creator must be 12th level; Cost 2,000 gp.


Headfirst wrote:

A while back, I wrote up an idea that got rejected from a major publishing studio. I wonder why:

Orcish Ioun Stone

Aura weak transmutation; CL 12th

Slot -; Price 5,000 gp; Weight - (or 10 lbs)

DESCRIPTION

This crude ioun stone is little more than a rock the size of a watermelon imbued with telekinetic magic. When active, it infuriatingly circles the user's head at close range, intercepting incoming attacks but also impairing his vision. The user gains a +2 deflection bonus to his AC but also suffers a -2 penalty on Perception skill checks.

CONSTRUCTION REQUIREMENTS

Craft Wondrous Item, creator must be 12th level; Cost 2,000 gp.

So this one Orc paid a witch to put permanent silence on his rock, and now they can sneak up on hoomans. They don't coordinate attacks very well.


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Lets try this again. From a previous campaign I ran:

Cloak of Emptiness
This is a silver lined, blue velvet cloak. The wearer can cast greater teleport at will. The snag is the cloak is always left behind.

For added giggles, a GM can have the cloak activate sporadically. Its a great way of solving the new party member problem as well.


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Pouch of instant water
There are 50 pinches of water in here. One pinch added to a drop of water(including spit) will produce a gallon of water, possibly overflowing your canteen. The funny part is when some noob ads a drop of water to a new pouch.
Craft wondrous item, create water, 100GP per dose. 5000GP total. I think.


This started off as a silly idea whenever my characters fail diplomacy checks, then I just went bonkers with building on it.

Imposing Cloth Gauntlet
When worn on your arm, this thick woolen garment grants a +1 sacred or profane bonus to AC, depending on your alignment. If used for no other action, it grants a +3 bonus to social interaction skill checks (Intimidate, Bluff, Diplomacy, spoken-word Performance) with intelligent creatures. However, if you fail such a check, your roll retroactively has a -5 penalty to the outcome (so failing by 1 becomes failing by 6). While the retroactive penalty applies whenever you wear the Imposing Cloth Gauntlet, the bonus to skill checks only applies if you hold up said hand while opening and closing it in tune with your words.

Because you're using a sock puppet.
Made from Gorum's right sock.

The Imposing Cloth Gauntlet is woven from grey and brick-red wool, and has the symbol of Gorum woven in a repeating pattern around the rim. Two buttons taken from Gorum's dress shirt are sewn on as eyes, and these too bear his symbol. Because of this, the Imposing Cloth Gauntlet counts as a holy symbol and channel focus for worshippers of Gorum.

More:
While wearing the Imposing Cloth Gauntlet, if the wearer loses that hand or arm (typically in battle), the next time they awake they will find their severed limb (if it was recovered) turned into rust, and a metal facsimile where the limb was formerly attached. This prosthesis superficially resembles iron armor and cannot be removed, but has the stats for Living Steel (Ultimate Equipment page 51) and can be repaired like any magical armor. An interesting property of this "Blessing of Our Lord in Iron" is that the prosthesis will be styled in a manner reflective of the bearer's faith, or at least their aesthetic tastes.

The prosthesis is cumbersome, however, and imposes a -3 penalty to skill checks involving fine handiwork made with that hand. This penalty can be removed if the bearer 'practices' with the prosthesis, at a rate of an hour a day for each penalty point. As the bearer gains levels, they get used to the prosthesis. For each hit die the bearer gains after acquiring the Blessing, the penalty is reduced by one, until it is gone three levels after gaining the Blessing.

Lore:
The Blessing of Our Lord in Iron has notably happened twice in history. The first instance was an elven high priestess of Shelyn who lost her right arm in a battle with Asmodeans after attempting to intimidate their leader, a Hellnight marshal, into a truce. She was woken the next day by her acolytes, who saw the metal prosthetic where her arm once was--heavy, metallic, but pleasantly styled in a manner befitting Shelyn, and the clawed fingers made perfect guitar picks for her skald magic, which she used to rally her forces and claim victory.

The other instance was the Hellnight marshall, conniseuer of oversized spikes, fangs, and jagged edges, who before being hilariously wounded, boasted his mockery of the high priestess by wearing her sock puppet someplace private.

Legend has it the socks the Imposing Cloth Gauntlet originates from were woven by Shelyn herself, and made by Cayden Cailean when he literally knocked Gorum's socks off in a duel, while Calistria stole the buttons from his dress shirt.

It is believed the Imposing Cloth Gauntlet is one half of an opposed pair, and the Savored Sting and the Drunken Hero also acquired Irori's left sock for the same purpose. What properties the other sock puppet would have are a mystery, as are what would happen if someone were to wear both sock puppets at the same time, as nobody has ever found it.


Adamantine Dragon wrote:
I didn't come up with this, but I've used it in my games. The "balancing quarterstaff" which is a staff that magically balances itself standing straight up. Give one to your group for all sorts of hilarity.

I had a monk in 3.5 that had one of these. I'd just leave it sitting around, standing up all by itself and come get it later. It was really handy to make a simple tent with.

I once created Nunchucks of Zombie Explode. Players were wandering around in this sewer/catacombs, looking for this monster the townspeople said was down there. One of them, the monk, had no weapons, and so he decided to take the leg bones of a skeleton and tie them together with a piece of cloth to make nunchucks.

They became Nunchucks of Zombie Explode because he kept getting critical hits with them, and because they dealt (on a crit) about three times more damage than the zombies had in hp, I said that the zombies exploded. Everyone laughed, and it became a great magical item. All it really does is explode zombies into bits when you crit against them.

Another item I like to employ is the Necklace of Race Change. When a character puts it on, the necklace changes the character's race to one determined from table rolling. It's a fun way to make your players groan.


Occam's Razor
a 2'x1" adamantine razor attached to a 3' mithral rope with a darkwood handle. The razor is swung like a bullroarer and makes a similar sound when used in combat.
The razor confers proficiency in it's use to any being of Intelligence 6 or above ($4000 of 5000GP). The weapon comes in various enhancements, usually +1 to +5.
Sadly, should you miss to hit with the razor, so long as the d20 roll is below your Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma (choose the highest) you simply miss, otherwise, roll 1d6;
1-3: use roll to see if you strike an adjacent random opponent (if any).
4-5: use roll to see if you strike an adjacent random ally (if any).
6: use roll to see if you strike yourself.(-25% enhancement cost)

Bullroarer razor exotic onehnded martial melee dmg:1d6s/1d8m S crit:18+ *2, rng:- 4lbs base price 30GP. Adamantine, mithral with darkwood handle 2560GP{MW}. As listed; +1 Occam's Razor $7310, +5 Occam's Razor $44060.


Not really a funny magic item but a funny way to make one. I had a paladin of irori who wanted a replacement for the holy symbol he had lost in a previous encounter. Our sunder build barbarian promptly took a lump of gold out of his pouch and punched a dent into it. It's since been an agreed upon way to make irori's holy symbol with my group.


First Pathfinder campaign I was ever in, I convinced the GM to give our Rouge an intelligent dagger. It was a fairly good weapon, had special abilities (something like a Feint and a free throw attempt at the Feinted target, automatically returning afterwards), and did extra damage to demons (fairly large amount of them showed up near the end of the campaign.) The dagger also gave it's wielder a heads up when demons were around. However, it had a flaw. If the rogue decided to sneak around and do stuff not related to killing demons, it had a percent chance to start singing that Trololo song that used to be around the internet. Rogue went 4 nights without it going off. When it finally did, he spent a good minute or two trying to figure out where the singing came from. Good times were had.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16

Jube Jube Fruit has extremely potent magic related to coloration. The oracle of the party ate one and turned emerald green for a few weeks.


Pet Stone
these odd fist sized smooth stones are usually granite or basalt with an inclusion of non-precious mineral or ore which makes them somewhat interesting. The stones are actually intelligent items capable of spellcasting. Generally they are looking for a friend that will carry them about and expand their experience of the world. Once they bond with a friend(carrier) they listen and quietly offer somewhat helpful advice (see ability scores). Chatty stones are the bane of a stealthy party.
To befriend a stone one must succeed Diplomacy DC:17 after carrying it for one day. Convincing a stone to cast a spell usually requires just asking or a success Diplomacy DC:14 from a comrade.
Int:12, Wis:10, Cha:12, Ego:4, Alignment:d10:1-5 NN, 6-7:CN, 8-9:NG, 10:NE. Speech (usually common), Senses:30'. AC:11 Hrd:10 HP:12.
Cast (learned) first level spell at caster level 1 up to 3/d. Starts with a useful spell such as Vanish, Grease, or Shield. Pet Stone spell list is limited to Oracle, Sorcerer, Wizard, Witch spell lists.
Spellcraft +9.
Craft Wondrous Item, creator must be 12th level; Cost 3450gp. 2lb. Price:$6900


Goblin Pebbles
these green and gray mottled 1/2" diameter stones are usually found in small grubby pouches amongst a hag's effects. The bags usually contain 2d6 pebbles. Each Pebble is usable once.

When a pebble is thrown on the ground or against a hard surface within 10ft each pebble summons a goblin warrior 1 Bestiary pg 156 as per Monster Summoning 1 cast by a Summoner level 3 with the Augment Summoning Feat with Rng:10ft, Dur:30r and the caster gains a +5 on his Diplomacy role to influence the goblin to do things other than attack his enemies.

If 3 stones are stuck together with a bit of mud, glue, or sap and then thrown on the ground or against a hard surface within 10ft the 3 pebbles summons a goblin dog Bestiary pg 157 as per Monster Summoning 2 cast by a Summoner level 4 with the Augment Summoning Feat with Rng:10ft, Dur:40r and the caster gains a +5 on his Diplomacy role to influence the goblin dog to do things other than attack his enemies. A summoned goblin can automatically control the goblin dog.

Craft Wonderous Item, creator must be a 4th level Summoner or 5th level Sorcerer/Wizard, 1 pint goblin; Cost 203gp per pebble, minimum 7. Price [7] for 2842gp 7/10 lb.

Liberty's Edge

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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

belt of emergency shrinking.

A belt imbuned with an extremely potent(and potent) Shrinking spell. During an emergency situation, like facing a blow which would reduce the target to 0 or fewer hit point, the belt immediately shrinks the wearer to 3 sizes smaller than his current size, leaving his effects and clothes in a heap. It takes one round to disentangle themselves from the clothing. An dc35 arcana check, or perception check is required to locate the shrunk individual from his clothes, unless the person shrunk is at the same size or one smaller than the party facing them. The spell lasts for 5 days, then a dc 20 arcana check is made. If the check is passed, then the wearer is returned to their original size. If it fails, then the target is perminantly stuck at their current height, which can only be removed with a wish or divine intervention spell.

Craft wonderous item. Creator must be a 5th+ level spellcasters with Greater Reduce person, a belt of any material, cost 4500gp

Greater Reduce Person.
School:transmutation; Witch 5, sorcerer/wizard 5, bard 5, alchemist 5(as an infusion)
Casting time: 1-2 rounds
Componants: a handful of powdered iron, a pinch of powdered silver
Range:close(25ft+5/2 level)
Target:one creature
Duration:10 min./2levels(d)
Saving throw:fortitude negates spell resistance: yes

This spell functions like reduce person, except reduce the targets size by 2-3 depending on the length of the casting time.


This would also be funny

http://www.goblinscomic.org/02172012/


The best sword I've ran into was many years ago. A player got a Wish and the GM fulfilled his 7 page desire for a sword that had many many abilities... he was given the Sword of Love. Ohhh... it was powerful alright (as Harvey the Gm would say, "what's more powerful than love?", lol) it became clear that the sword had rather strong ideas of it's own and it was not what the munchkin player wanted, but it fulfilled what he asked for (and sooo much more...). You can imagine the shenanigans...

I created a sword where the player had to sing to get the benefits of the sword (que jazz band, "You ain't got a thing if you ain't got that swing..." ) lol, we had fun with that.

The Book of Swords series by Fred Saberhagen is a classic.
Elric series by M. Moorcock.
etc etc...

Shadow Lodge

My favourite colourful item was a pair of boots that cast Knock on anything you kicked with them.


Rynjin wrote:
northbrb wrote:
I also came up the Bag of Dead Kittens, it functions as a normal Bag of Holding but had a 25% chance that when you retrieved an item instead you pulled out a dead kitten. You wouldn't know what that you were pulling out a dead kitten until it was out of the bag.

Heh. Guess you could say that when you roll a 25 or lower, the cat's outta the bag.

Gotta love your sweet puns dude.

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