False factoids


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GM MacShack plays Major League Foosball.


JTD gets paid a nice salary to be a "player" on a giant's foosball table.


KahnyaGnorc's avatar is in the witness protection program.


JDTV is a keen Athlete's Football player.


Pulg exists in 3 different time periods in parallel, one that goes backwards at 1.3 speed, one the goes forward at 1.0456x speed, and one that goes in a random direction at any given point.

Sovereign Court

KahnyaGnorc has spent almost their entire lifetime studying not just Pulg, but several individuals who live in multiple time periods, indeed KahnyaGnorc would be dead from lack of sleep and nutrition by now had I not turned them into a vampire.


Every new moon, Count Heydrich coughs up a bezoar.


To GoatToucher, EVERY night is a Full Moon.


KahnyaGnorc was thrown out of the Vampire Hunters' Guild for trying to hammer a steak through the heart of a spatula.


Pulg's lungs have evolved to breath decadence.


JTDV was an anime catgirl in a previous life. There is a whole sect of reincarnationists dedicated to figuring out what the catgirl did in her life to warrant coming back as an ankheg. The two competing theories are "Something unspeakable" and "something unspeakably AWESOME!"

Scarab Sages

KahnyaGnorc was head of the secret government conspiracy project that researched ways to make cats go limp, leading to the genesis of the Ragdoll breed.

Grand Lodge

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I'm Hiding In Your Closet doesn't have an avatar image - that's their actual photo!


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Kittyburger was actually thrown out of Kittyburg for being insufficiently fwuffy.


Pulg is the Burgermeister of Kittyburg, bot due to his fluffiness, but due to a campaign of bribery, murder, and blackmail.


GoatToucher is actually 1/4 cat on his Grandmother's side.


JTDV has a lot of cat in him. Not genealogically, but dietary.

Sovereign Court

KahnyaGnorc hates cats, doesn't mind eating dogs though.


Count Reiner Heyrich is constantly searching or a way to keep his bird feeders from being raided by Dire Squirrels. So far he's been mauled three times and was once stored inside a cheek pouch for an entire day.


JTD produces five quarts of honey a day.

The process by which he does so is unsettling in the extreme, but the resulting honey is quite flavorful!


GoatToucher is JTD's apprentice honey-maker but hasn't got the formula QUITE right.


KahnayGnorc participated in creating Pulg

Scarab Sages

Ancient Dragon Master is dragonkind's foremost (well, okay, ONLY) polka composer.


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Whilst hiding in closets, IHIYC will terrify young and old alike with his mysterious and haunting accordion music.

Scarab Sages

GoatToucher died and went to Hell once, but was promptly kicked out - not for any of the countless reasons one might expect, but purely on the technicality that he's a preternaturally inept accordionist (and that's a big, big deal down there).


Little known fact: GoatToucher actually invented the accordion after a grueling session in which he realized his instrument was making noise. It was a rough session

A short hop and a skip later we all have accordions...and the accordion's origin...and bleach...for cleaning ourselves


Ahhhhh! Ninja Clown! A Ninja Clown who uses humor to wear us down! I'm keeping my first one up because it took hours to come up with that. But yeah, I'm Hiding In Your Closet is a Ninja Clown.


JDTV, having learned to play a piano-accordion with his mandibles, is the life and soul of every ankheg party going.


Pulg for some reason does not have a bias against accordions


I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
GoatToucher died and went to Hell once, but was promptly kicked out - not for any of the countless reasons one might expect, but purely on the technicality that he's a preternaturally inept accordionist (and that's a big, big deal down there).

Ahem.

ADM has a virtuoso's control of his gastrointestinal sphincters, and can reproduce the sound of any wind instrument with his anus.


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GoatToucher has so many multiple, a-hem, "entry points" in his body that he can become a bagpipe.


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Kahyna Gnorc is a recovering ocarina.

Scarab Sages

Pulg can play five kazoos at once by sticking one in his mouth, one in each nostril, and one in each of his beady little eye sockets.


I'm Hiding In Your Closet opens doors for little ol' ladies.

It's true. I saw I'm Hiding In Your Closet open the door for a little ol' lady. And as I observed his act of kindness, I thought: What a nice...jester...nyuk nyuk nyuk


You can watch JTDV's full act every Tuesday Night at the Ankheg Comedy Theatre in the Catskills.


KG used to be a regular at Catskills comedy clubs, but their bladder control has been... somewhat spotty since they had that acute UTI last year.

Now they fear to laugh, due to the tinkling.

Grand Lodge

GoatToucher keeps his right eye shut as part of an unholy priestly vow; the two sides of his face are meant to represent the duality of life and death.


Kali Altzairu is showing off one of the fashionable hairdos from Pulg's Salon And Sports Bar.

Sovereign Court

KahnyaGnorc has no neck to speak of, and a deep imprint on her forehead from when a diabolical chicken stepped on it.


Mercutio has just learned why it's a bad idea to try and wean baby badgers in your trousers.


Pulg was driving down the freeway, in the fast lane, with a rabid wolverine (or Wolverine?) in his underwear.

Scarab Sages

KahnyaGnorc was walking to the kitchen for some Golden Grahams when she accidentally got sucked into a parallel dimension.


and soon I got abducted by some aliens who kinda looked like I'm Hiding In Your Closet.

Liberty's Edge

We sucked out KahnyaGnorc's internal organs and we took some Polaroids, and said she was a darn good sport!


And, as a way of saying "Thank you," Laser Clown of the 34th Century offered to transport me back to any point in history that I should care to go.


KahnyaGnorc actually ruled that city that no one else should.


JTDV's head was severed two weeks ago, but they still function (mostly normally), and will continue to do so until dying from dehydration.


GoatToucher has spare heads should that ever happen to him (and it has, several times)

Lantern Lodge

KahnyaGnorc has copper-based blood, just like a horseshoe crab.


Sasithorn Loom is an actual loom that was given life in a tale as old as time, a tune as old as rhyme . . .

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