False factoids


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Scarab Sages

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It's a beautiful day in KahnyaGnorc's neighborhood, a beautiful day for a Khanya - would you be Gnorc? Could you be Gnorc?


Sometimes you wanna go where every clown knows your name, and IHIYC is always glad you came...


But I can't do this all on my own
I know
I'm no Vick Tim

I'm no Vick Tim

Grand Lodge

KahnyaGnork would rather die than have to view a meme.


JYAC once worked in a Burlesque show.


So did Cluny. It was delightfully unsavory! My gorge wasn't the only thing that rose!

Silver Crusade

GoatToucher is the prophesied savior of the world.

Sovereign Court

Lucky7 is professional prophecy maker (both genuine ones and fake ones) and likes to sell them all to highest (and often most desperate) bidder.


The Big Bad Wolf once bought a prophecy for 800 gold doubloons. He then neglected to listen to the end of it, which stated that bricks would be his downfall.


Ventnor is presently successfully marketing triploons to extra greedy pirates.


As a hair pirate, Pulg is very interested in these triploons.

Grand Lodge

KahnyaGnorc will only accept payment in shillings


JYAC is actually a rather sub- par clone. He came out of the tank with three penises too many. That's seven penises, which is just excessive.


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The RPG FATAL is based on life in GoatToucher's workroom with all of the more explicit bits toned down.


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Ventnor taught GT the Dance of the Seven Penises, for which he can never, never be forgiven.

Sovereign Court

Pulg is the original creator and teacher of the infamous dance.


BBWK scored the melody for the nefarious dance. It sounds suspiciously like the Safety Dance.


MD persuaded the North Korean delegation to perform it at the Olympics opening ceremony.

Grand Lodge

Pulg was Ventnor's unwitting accomplice in the creation of the Dance.


Ventnor wrote:
The RPG FATAL is based on life in GoatToucher's workroom with all of the more explicit bits toned down.

You'd be surprised at how often the equation to determine someone's anal elasticity comes in handy.

Not surprised... Alarmed? Disconcerted? Ah!: Filled with Dread.

JYAC did The Dance as the talent portion of the Miss External Genitals pageant.

Grand Lodge

When creating characters in F.A.T.A.L., GoatToucher will, without fail, always roll up a Black Dwarf who's only weapon is a Warhammer. They are chaotic, and have a thing for sadomasochism.


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JYAC played and played FATAL, until he grew bored with it and went in search of darker, more transgressive thrills.

He found G.O.A.T.A.L.

Gods, he wishes he hadn't.


Pulg fervently wishes this too, since he's contractually obligated to GM every game that Just your average clone wants to play.


When Ventnor plays, he always wins initiative.

He'd rather not tell you why.


GoatToucher knows why, but thinks that it's funnier if the reason remains a secret.


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S4's schemes are flawless masterpieces, in theory. In practice, something ALWAYS messes things up . . . *cough* GoatToucher *cough*


KahnyaGnorc only started posting on the paizo forums after they had been summarily ejected from Reddit. No easy feat, that.


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MD jammed the ejection hatch from reddit, causing my ejection seat to hit the closed hatch, bounce back to the floor, bounce back to the hatch, etc., etc. in a hilarious and painful sequence.

Grand Lodge

KahnyaGnorc has hacked reddit, 4chan, and isis before, but the government caught him and wiped all hacking knowledge from his mind.


When JYAC was in the mental institution, they made a copy of its brain. So now they can predict everything it does.


A single wink from Sissyl can cause empires to crumble.

Scarab Sages

A single ululation from Ventnor can cause any and all wedding and birthday cakes within 5 miles to explode.


After being flung into the far future, I'm Hiding In Your Closet assumed the persona of LASER CLOWN, Hero of the 34th Century!, while searching for a way to get back to his original time.


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Ventnor is LASER CLOWN's brainy but awkward sidekick. He just can't seem to get a date with any sexy 34th century cyborg ladies!


GoatToucher occasionally travels into the 34th Century with Ben Franklin when the two want to commit hijinks on a spaceship.

Grand Lodge

Freedom bird is actually a halfling slave in cheliax who has been diluted into thinking that they are an unshackled avian.


JYAC is LASER CLOWN'S nemesis - THE RINGMASTER!!

Or maybe that's GoatToucher.

Grand Lodge

pulg has an odd habit of mistaking GoatToucher for me


JYAC has my scent all over him, which confuses Pulg, who navigated primarily by smell.

Scarab Sages

GoatToucher can tumble rocks by sticking them in his ear.


Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

IHIYC can turn gold to lead and diamonds to coal with but a glance.

Scarab Sages

Uncle Teddy can eat coal with no ill effects. His favorite ways to consume it are either as chunks sprinkled into his breakfast cereal, or just to scarf down whole the biggest briquette he can find.


IHIYC once tried to eat Cole. Cole was not amused by IHIYC's shenanigans.


KahnyaGnorc once tried to interest the nation in Coal-a Coke-a, the refreshing soft drink with the Great Taste of carbonised forest and dinosaur kak, guaranteed to contain 157% more carcinogens than any other recipe.

And that's how he made his first billion.


Years of expensive litigation in trying to prove that it was he who came up with Coal-a Coke-a is how Pulg lost his first billion.


Ventnor won HIS first billion betting on the litigation.


KahnyaGnorc won his first billionaire at a very unusual game of nudie table-tennis at Trump Towers.

Grand Lodge

Pulg would like it shaken, not stirred.


JYAC is stirred by shaking it.

Silver Crusade

GoatToucher once went two rounds with Mike Tyson.

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