Where else but Florida?


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Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
Bill Lumberg wrote:
If a PF game were set on Earth I wonder what regional feats would be available for Florida characters.

Most Floridians are slaadi anyway. Retirement homes are excellent larvae nurseries.

Note 1: But even slaadi don't eat roaches.

Note 2: Note 1 does mean that Nick Cage is not actually a slaad. Yeah, we slaadi were a little surprised by that too.

This is where I feel vindicated after the snipey snarking I got in the Other Thread about pointing out the Singularity of Whiskey Tango Foxtrot that Florida is.

Also that flying roaches are one of many, many things that keep me the heck away from there, now supplemented by freaking roach eating contests.

GAH.


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I have been telling ya'll for years that you should forget the Mexican and Canadian borders... build that wall at the Florida border. The sooner you do it, the faster this is contained. Don't matter if you go Escape from New York style with a trench/moat or an ice wall hundreds of feet high... do it now. You can still wall off the Orlando parks like West Berlin and fly in tourists. The shuttle program is kaput, so what's left of NASA can bugger out to JPL and White Sands. You can still airdrop in gramps and granny when they retire; Skype works great for visitation and you won't have to worry about the weird smells, hard candy melted-into-a-lump-at-room-temperature, giant skeeters, or dinner at 3PM.


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BigNorseWolf wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:
Florida does it again.
Besides the obvious question of why someone would try to steal a chicken statue is the more pernicious question of why does someone even HAVE a purple chicken statue at a residence?

Belongs to Gonzo the Great?

Liberty's Edge

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pres man wrote:
BigNorseWolf wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:
Florida does it again.
Besides the obvious question of why someone would try to steal a chicken statue is the more pernicious question of why does someone even HAVE a purple chicken statue at a residence?
Belongs to Gonzo the Great?

I tell you.

WEIRDOS.

Liberty's Edge

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Germany.

I miss Loveline...


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ciretose wrote:

Germany.

I miss Loveline...

I know right?

I always have to explain "Germany or Florida" to people.

Liberty's Edge

I work in Juvenile Probation. The smoke detector thing is so very painfully true...


ciretose wrote:
I work in Juvenile Probation. The smoke detector thing is so very painfully true...

You'll have to refresh my memory. It's been about a decade.


Mike Diana, man, just Mike Diana.


Improvised Weapon: Baby

"Cocaine is a helluva drug." -Rick James

Silver Crusade

Yep. Sounds like Florida.


ciretose wrote:
I work in Juvenile Probation.

Ah... that explains your attitude towards players!

;P


Pathfinder Maps, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
ciretose wrote:

Germany.

I miss Loveline...

Adam Carolla still does this occasionally on his podcast.


pres man wrote:

Improvised Weapon: Baby

"Cocaine is a helluva drug." -Rick James

That feat really is throw ANYTHING....


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I miss Razor Sharp Chair Leg...

Liberty's Edge

meatrace wrote:
ciretose wrote:
I work in Juvenile Probation. The smoke detector thing is so very painfully true...
You'll have to refresh my memory. It's been about a decade.

They would stop calls when the heard the smoke detector go off in the background to listen for the next beep. Happened a couple of times a week.

People in chaos are so overwhelmed that even a horrible chirping noise that can be made to go away with a single battery (or even by unplugging the battery) is beyond their ability to address.

In my job, when I go into a home where I hear the chirp, I know this is going to be a multi-year case. The hole is so deep they can't even stop the chirping, let alone address real problems.

Liberty's Edge

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Kirth Gersen wrote:
ciretose wrote:
I work in Juvenile Probation.

Ah... that explains your attitude towards players!

;P

Not players. Posters. When I GM I'm actually a huge softy. But I also don't game with jackasses :)


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meatrace wrote:
I miss Razor Sharp Chair Leg...

Don't be. He now works as a well-paid thug lieutenant for Chairface Chippendale.


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Bill Lumberg wrote:
If a PF game were set on Earth I wonder what regional feats would be available for Florida characters.

Alligator Skin: Gain +1 natural armor bonus and fire resist 5 from years of baking your skin in the FL sun.

Improved Bug Digestion: Gain a +4 morale bonus on Fort saves made to resist dying after eating large quantities of bugs.

Crazy Driver: You gain a +4 insight bonus on Drive checks made to cause accidents.

Cannibal: You gain a bite attack that deals 1d4 plus Strength modifier piercing damage, which you can make an attack with at your full base attack bonus in addition to your normal full attack.

Old and Senile: Requirements: Age 60+. You gain a +4 bonus on Will saves against mind-affecting effects (because you've lost your mind....)


Leomund's Hairy Chest wrote:
Crazy Driver: You gain a +4 insight bonus on Drive checks made to cause accidents.

And to escape the ensuing carnage unscathed.

Silver Crusade

This thread has been quiet lately. So glad that the last post was about Florida drivers.

Because, apparently, there is no limit to what one might be doing behind the wheel. Like grooming their genitals.

The Exchange

Could be allergic reaction. Could be sharp bits of shell cutting up his GI tract. Crazy either way. God do we ever get GOOD news out of that state?


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Well, at least the women are well-groomed. Does that count?


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Celestial Healer wrote:

This thread has been quiet lately. So glad that the last post was about Florida drivers.

Because, apparently, there is no limit to what one might be doing behind the wheel. Like grooming their genitals.

Momma always said Florida is like a box of chocolates old granola: full of stale nuts, flakes, fruits, insects, and unrecognizable lumps in every handful.


Celestial Healer wrote:

This thread has been quiet lately. So glad that the last post was about Florida drivers.

Because, apparently, there is no limit to what one might be doing behind the wheel. Like grooming their genitals.

Well, you've gotta take care of your hygiene. Especially somewhere that humid.

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