"I hid under a table."
"I just got here, where is everyone?"
"I didn't eat them!"
"There were a lot of FEMA trucks here yesterday, they were rounding people up and killing them, so I hid..."
"You're NEXT! MWAHAHAHAHAAAAA!"
"The angels have fangs!"
"God told me I need to live..."
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Who are you and what are you doing in my house?!
*waves cane*
"Well, that probably depleted my luck for the next thousand years or so..."
OK so a Hurricane/Megacyclone/whatever has just rolled through your town wiping out every one but you. Next day a News crew from some other town show up and ask you why you think you and you alone were spared.
What is your answer to the news hungry billions watching?
My life clearly didn't suck badly enough without the complete destruction of my home and loved ones. I blame the writers of Glee and the executives that cancelled Angel.
I sure hope the insurance policy covers my lost house and possessions :-)
You know how Bruce Lee said we should be like water? Well, I can't remember being water, but I do <gesture to my groin area> remember involuntarily attempting to be like urine.
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"Well, you see that weather wasn't natural, it was caused by a war between Summer and Winter, and one of the Queens tapped me to investigate some goings on- oh, why? I'm a wizard, check the phone book- hey, where are you going?"
"I just woke up. What do you want? ... Whoa what happened out here?"
"Behold, for I am the Chosen One!"
"Well, you see that weather wasn't natural, it was caused by a war between Summer and Winter, and one of the Queens tapped me to investigate some goings on- oh, why? I'm a wizard, check the phone book- hey, where are you going?"
ROTFL. Cool.
"I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS"
"Pretty impressive huh?"
That was truly the greatest sex I ever had.
"I am a leaf on the wind."
I'd go with this one.
The same reason that third pig survived the wolf.
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Because...there can be only one.
~YAWNS~ I slept well. ~looks around~ Wow! That was SOME party!
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At first I was afraid I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without you by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong and I learned how to get along
And now you're back from outer space
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I'd've known for just one second you'd back to bother me
Go on now, go walk out the door
Just turn around now
('cause) you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Do you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no, not I. I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive;
I've got all my life to live,
I've got all my love to give and I'll survive,
I will survive. Hey hey.
It took all the strength I had not to fall apart
Kept trying' hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart,
And I spent oh so many nights
Just feeling sorry for myself. I used to cry
But now I hold my head up high
And you see me somebody new
I'm not that chained up little girl who's still in love with you,
And so you felt like droppin' in
And just expect me to be free,
Now I'm savin' all my lovin' for someone who's lovin' me
Go on now...
~looks around~ It appears that my rain dance got a little out of hand.
"I dunno. I was kinda hoping for the zombie apocalypse. 'Cause THAT would be AWESOME!"
"I dunno. I was kinda hoping for the zombie apocalypse. 'Cause THAT would be AWESOME!"
The hardest part of a zombie apocalypse is pretending not to be excited.
I was wearing my windbreaker.
"Hey guys, guess what?! Magic is real!!"
It was the Orthoi apocalypse. An Orthos loose on the world is bad enough, but Orthoi? ~shudders in fear~
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Today was not a good day to die.
Who said I didn't die? ... say, are you done with that brain yet?
Oh sure, I died, but I didn't like my options in the afterlife so I came back.
Why am I the last one left? Well, I opted for the extended 500 year warranty and ...
They won't let me die. They never let me die.
What are you talking about? This town has always looked this way.
Blame the credit card companies. Until I pay them off...
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I am actually a Time Lord. This place was in good condition until I Regenerated.
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It rolled minimum damage.
Cataclysm? Those don't exist here in Finland.
"Oops."
"I can fix that."
"I've seen worse."
It was the Orthoi apocalypse. An Orthos loose on the world is bad enough, but Orthoi? ~shudders in fear~
THERE IS NO ESCAPE.
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"After a long battle, I caught the legendary Pokemon."
"You're next."
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"We're not gonna die. We can't die, Bendis. You know why? Because we are so...very...pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die."
Or maybe...
"There can be only one", or better yet "It's a kind of magic."
But no...
"To a wizard, death is just a metaphysical inconvenience"