Ridiculous weapons


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I was in a instant message based campaign that was more for fun than anything else when my character was slapped with a boggle eyed tuna, the world's version of the blue fin but it's eyes are about twice the size of the blue fin. I was told to take 1d8 points of bludgeoning damage and I wanted to know if that would be an accurate damage for a tuna, also what other sort of ridiculous weapon ideas has anyone else thought of using?


Many species of bluefin tuna can grow between 880 and 990 lbs on average. there have been records up to 1,400lbs. Unless the character was swinging a very young (i.e. not so large) boggle eye at you I would say that you got off light on the damage done. Most D&D maces that deal 1d8 damage generally weighed around 1 to 3 lbs and relied mostly on muscle and increased force due to small striking area to deal damage, whereas anyone that could swing around an 800 lb tuna, I feel, would easily crush you since the tuna would be about 4x, give or take, your weight and there was force behind if from the swing.

On the other hand it would depend on how long the tuna had been used as a weapon as well since it is not made of metal obviously and therefore would not stand up to repeated strikes to armor quickly losing cohesion falling into a pulpy mess.


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I once had a barbarian that threw a horse at a bad guy.

And my current bard brained a Faceless Stalker to death with an arcane strike on his crowbar.


I knew of a half giant that wielded a dual wielding halfling rogue as a flail.


"What is the range on a thrown stingray?" - Zhandouji the Monk


There's a barbarian in my group that has a feather token "anchor grenade" where once he throws it, itll turn into an anchor.


Why not a sock with coins in it. That sounds painful.


I have a half-giant fighter in my campaign that recently made the acquaintance of a Lurker Above. They managed to come to a mutually beneficial agreement that if he gets to wield the Lurker as a weapon, the Lurker can feed on whoever he manages to impale with it. It's really a much more efficient way of living for both of them.


I ran a game at GenCon, an over the top kind of game about killing gods.

An atheistic viking (he had convinced himself the gods didn't exist, even as he was setting off to fight them)) ripped off his own head and used it to bash Odin into non-existence... then as Odin ceased to exist, the viking became Odin. It was pretty epic.


Irontruth wrote:

I ran a game at GenCon, an over the top kind of game about killing gods.

An atheistic viking (he had convinced himself the gods didn't exist, even as he was setting off to fight them)) ripped off his own head and used it to bash Odin into non-existence... then as Odin ceased to exist, the viking became Odin. It was pretty epic.

Damn. I missed this game? I need to know more about who's attending. I'd play this.

Provided I know the rule system.


Barbarians are sure made for breaking down the door combat.

I've had a barbarian use a door to kill stuff with. Improvised or no, things died, and doors were crying.


Urizen wrote:
Irontruth wrote:

I ran a game at GenCon, an over the top kind of game about killing gods.

An atheistic viking (he had convinced himself the gods didn't exist, even as he was setting off to fight them)) ripped off his own head and used it to bash Odin into non-existence... then as Odin ceased to exist, the viking became Odin. It was pretty epic.

Damn. I missed this game? I need to know more about who's attending. I'd play this.

Provided I know the rule system.

I think, by the time you're beating Odin to death with your own head, nobody really needs to know the rule system anymore.

And yes, that does sound a little bit epic.


Shiftybob wrote:
Urizen wrote:
Provided I know the rule system.

I think, by the time you're beating Odin to death with your own head, nobody really needs to know the rule system anymore.

And yes, that does sound a little bit epic.

Hell, I jumped into a 'My Little Pony' game Saturday night (at Gen Con). I don't know exactly how the rules were supposed to work, but I was spending a friendship point to pull a guitar out of my ass. I was a crazy mule by the name of Mustaine. And I had a partner in crime.

We were the Wyld Stallyns. Ridiculous. And epic.

the marshmallow infused vodka may also been culprit/complicit.


This PbP here. :)

Ashardaldon Series

Have used fellow adventurers/colleagues as improvised weapons.

GO! Giants and Halflings FTW! (^_^)


Urizen wrote:
Irontruth wrote:

I ran a game at GenCon, an over the top kind of game about killing gods.

An atheistic viking (he had convinced himself the gods didn't exist, even as he was setting off to fight them)) ripped off his own head and used it to bash Odin into non-existence... then as Odin ceased to exist, the viking became Odin. It was pretty epic.

Damn. I missed this game? I need to know more about who's attending. I'd play this.

Provided I know the rule system.

Depending on what you're interested in, or willing to try, I can hook you up. Or if you're in Minnesota (living or visiting) and want a game, it can probably be arranged.

I only did about 12 hours of GMing this con, my first time running games at a place like this. I'll probably spend a large chunk of my time GMing next time though, I had a ton of fun.

Another group killed Odin by pushing him into a river of lava, while resurrecting the ghosts of the Valkyries he had sacrificed for power, so they were dive bombing him with ghostly spears. Unfortunately, one of the players, who had the ability to see the Strands of Fate had twisted some of his own in with Odin's. So when Odin died, he became Odin (can you sense a theme yet?).


Urizen wrote:
Irontruth wrote:

I ran a game at GenCon, an over the top kind of game about killing gods.

An atheistic viking (he had convinced himself the gods didn't exist, even as he was setting off to fight them)) ripped off his own head and used it to bash Odin into non-existence... then as Odin ceased to exist, the viking became Odin. It was pretty epic.

Damn. I missed this game? I need to know more about who's attending. I'd play this.

Provided I know the rule system.

Depending on what you're interested in, or willing to try, I can hook you up. Or if you're in Minnesota (living or visiting) and want a game, it can probably be arranged.

I only did about 12 hours of GMing this con, my first time running games at a place like this. I'll probably spend a large chunk of my time GMing next time though, I had a ton of fun.

Another group killed Odin by pushing him into a river of lava, while resurrecting the ghosts of the Valkyries he had sacrificed for power, so they were dive bombing him with ghostly spears. Unfortunately, one of the players, who had the ability to see the Strands of Fate had twisted some of his own in with Odin's. So when Odin died, he became Odin (can you sense a theme yet?).


A flaming wooly rhinoceros was unleashed on some poor Grey Maidens. In the same game an elephant was summoned via wand of wonder wielding mephit familiar in a 60 x 60 room, full of grey maidens


Dezen Haze wrote:
I was in a instant message based campaign that was more for fun than anything else when my character was slapped with a boggle eyed tuna, the world's version of the blue fin but it's eyes are about twice the size of the blue fin. I was told to take 1d8 points of bludgeoning damage and I wanted to know if that would be an accurate damage for a tuna, also what other sort of ridiculous weapon ideas has anyone else thought of using?

Being smacked by a tuna for 1d8 damage? Could've gone worse. ;)

Liberty's Edge

I was once in a game where a paladin was loaded into a catapult and fired at a giant rampaging demon in order to bypass the demon's damage reduction.

Also, a friend of mine was in an evil campaign, and fought a Solar angel that was throwing celestial bears at him.


Marthian wrote:

Barbarians are sure made for breaking down the door combat.

I've had a barbarian use a door to kill stuff with. Improvised or no, things died, and doors were crying.

I had a dwarven barbarian who used doors as shields. Nothing else was big enough for his taste. Yes he had shield bashing feats. Wooden "shields" he found too fragile though, they rarely lasted more than a couple of combats. We never did find an iron vault for him to rip the door off of.

The Exchange

In a video game I once played, there was a spear that looked like a sniper rifle. It didn't shoot or anything, it was just simply a gun-spear.


Irontruth wrote:

Depending on what you're interested in, or willing to try, I can hook you up. Or if you're in Minnesota (living or visiting) and want a game, it can probably be arranged.

I only did about 12 hours of GMing this con, my first time running games at a place like this. I'll probably spend a large chunk of my time GMing next time though, I had a ton of fun.

Another group killed Odin by pushing him into a river of lava, while resurrecting the ghosts of the Valkyries he had sacrificed for power, so they were dive bombing him with ghostly spears. Unfortunately, one of the players, who had the ability to see the Strands of Fate had twisted some of his own in with Odin's. So when Odin died, he became Odin (can you sense a theme yet?).

I'm in central Ohio, so the land of 10,000 lakes may have to wait awhile before I administer deicide and assume the mantle of regent to the pantheon.

What system did you use?

Dark Archive

If anybody follows pro wrestling, I once Pedigreed a dude in a bar room brawl. Rolled a nat 20 back in 3.5. GM declared him buried. :)


Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

Did a bell toll? :P


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Urizen wrote:
Irontruth wrote:

Depending on what you're interested in, or willing to try, I can hook you up. Or if you're in Minnesota (living or visiting) and want a game, it can probably be arranged.

I only did about 12 hours of GMing this con, my first time running games at a place like this. I'll probably spend a large chunk of my time GMing next time though, I had a ton of fun.

Another group killed Odin by pushing him into a river of lava, while resurrecting the ghosts of the Valkyries he had sacrificed for power, so they were dive bombing him with ghostly spears. Unfortunately, one of the players, who had the ability to see the Strands of Fate had twisted some of his own in with Odin's. So when Odin died, he became Odin (can you sense a theme yet?).

I'm in central Ohio, so the land of 10,000 lakes may have to wait awhile before I administer deicide and assume the mantle of regent to the pantheon.

What system did you use?

A game called Mythender. It'll be available as a free PDF within a couple months.


2nd ed. Spelljammer campaign. Had a guy who was Mr. I'm-gonna-run-off-from-the-party-and-do-it-myself. He was on a tall platform in a space station overlooking a door he needed to get through, which was guarded by a big, bad nasty. He was slowing the game up, waffling about what to do when I (jokingly) suggested: "Drop a Giff on him." He turned invisible, did a "Psst! C'mere!" bit until he got a Giff over near the edge, and then pushed him off the platform to plummet sixty feet to the floor below.

Now if he'd cast a silence spell on the Giff first, it would have worked. All that screaming on the way down ruined the whole thing.

The Exchange

in 2e dragon lance, fired a minotaur off of a catapult as he activated his ring of jump, horns first into a dragon. Both died but the DM about shat himself


Anyone know what sonic die damage, if any, bagpipes would do, I want to make a bard that uses a bagpipe for his bardic performances.


in 2e a specialist with darts did more damage than a specialist with any other weapon. I had a CN fighter specilized in darts (knitting needles) and the chair... which he carried around and beat people over the head with. (this was when chaotic neutral='d nuts)

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