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Human creativity can often be described as "Everything is a remix", or "every post is a repost", or other such terms since the human "remake" cycle has existed since human language began.
While we used to remake myths and legends over time, causing new gods and goddesses, these days we remake our films, our books, our comics etc.
So, with that in mind, what are some things you wish would get remade? Good ideas with bad execution.
Here's my list:
Star Wars: I want someone to "Nolanize" Star Wars. I want a dark, gritty, violent Star Wars with moral relativism and the whole shebang. I'll likely have to wait for Lucas to die.
The Chronicles of Riddick: Pretend this movie didn't happen, use Pitch Black as the starting point and try again. The technology jump from Pitch Black to COR was just too huge. PB looks like it took place 100 years in the future, COR looks like it took place 1000+ years in the future.
I may add more as they come to me.
I'm good with both of those.
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The first one that comes to mind is Damnation Alley (coincedentally featuring the pilot of Airwolf and a kid who would grow up to be Rorschach.)
The book is awesome and deserves a much better movie. With what can be done today, this could be badass if they follow the actual plot of the story laid down by Roger Zelazny.
I'm torn on this one, but I think I'd like to see Disney'sThe Black Hole remade. Made now, with a director who really knows sci-fi, it could be pretty spectacular. The only thing I'd change is the ending, replacing it with the ending Alan Dean Foster used in the novelization (basically, everybody dies.) Of course, then Disney wouldn't release it.
*Edit - Looks like I'm getting my wish granted on this one. The news is apparently three years old, but I just found out they plan on remaking The Black Hole using hard science.*
Rather than going any further with my list, I think I'll just comment on some of the movies I found here.
Oldboy - The original is perfect but, if this is what it takes to get American audiences to watch it, so be it.
The NeverEnding Story - Very cool but it must have puppets. Some CG/motion capture is to be expected but, please, use some practical effects.
American Psycho - Based on what's written here, this is going to be terrible. Too bad since the original is awesome.
The Creature From the Black Lagoon - You get the hell away from my Creature, Channing Tatum! Go suck at acting somewhere else!
Escape from New York - Why can't we just have a third movie featuring Snake as an old man, still kicking ass? You know Kurt Russell could pull it off.
Romancing the Stone - Not sure how to feel about this. I have some serious love for the original and wouldn't mind revisiting the characters. Is there anything I can do to ensure Heigl and Butler aren't in this?
The Warriors - The Warriors is one of those movies I feel was done so well the first time, it doesn't need a remake. It isn't sacrilege to remake it, it just isn't necessary.
Westworld - Genuinely excited for this one. Any chance we can reanimate Yul Brynner as an actual cyborg for this?
Ummm... Escape from New York? Ewwww. The original was good. The sequel was stomach-turningly vomitous.
Never-ending Story? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Star Wars? No. It is wonky. It's meant to be. Whatever you do, you can't top that first movie. Imagine: Focus groups think Jabba looks too weird, they want a human gangster in a pinstripe suit. Chewbacca looked scary, so also human. Tatooine having two suns is confusing, setting it on Earth would be better. Then put in a few new vat-bred actors, you know, like from Vampire Diaries, and add some vampires, because Twilight sold tons. Still want a remake? Pffft.
Still, while on the subject of Zelazny, I would want to see a well done filming of Lord of Light. Considering the subject matter, I realize what the chances are, but...
Indiana Jones.
Imagine if the Indy franchise was treated the same way James Bond was. Different writers and directer. A new take every generation, maybe with a new actor. The chance to tell stories out of any real sequence to revisit different parts of Inty's career. The chance to make Crystal Skull just an example of a bad spot in a long running story, not the death knell to a loved character.
Ummm... you did see the Adventures of Young Indiana Jones, right?
LotR
Metropolis
Sleeper
The Fountain
Forbidden Planet
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I want to see all the Dungeons and Dragons movies re-made with better scripts, better actors, better directors, and better budgets.
If you make sure the stories are all new, you just might be on to something.
Five remakes I would like to see:
Spike Lee films The Merchant of Venice as a musical;
Wes Anderson reboots Spider-Man;
Martin Scorsese does a ten-hour Conan epic;
Tim Burton remakes M; and,
Ken Loach writes a script with dialogue for The Battleship Potemkin and films it as a talkie.
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I want to see all the Dungeons and Dragons movies re-made with better scripts, better actors, better directors, and better budgets.
They already did this.
It's called Lord of the Rings (and soon to be Hobbit).
And I'm perfectly fine with that even if it DOESN'T have the title D&D. After all, D&D is just a game. The FEEL is inside LotR though.
I say no to Star Wars. Unfortunately, once Lucas kicks it, it will undoubtedly get remade.
Even though Jackson is making a trilogy all together different from The Hobbit, I'd love to see him remake The Sword and the Sorcerer. No more bad wigs.
I'm not happy about the Blackhole remake. On the flip side, the hard science basis for it will undoubtedly grab my attention.
Westworld.
A boy and his dog.
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The Black Cauldron.
Can't be worse than the one we already have.
Wes Anderson reboots Spider-Man;
I'd literally cross a mountain of goblin corpses to see this.
Martin Scorsese does a ten-hour Conan epic;
Please, no more Conan. A remake of the Light Fantastic and The Colour of Magic with Michael Douglas as Cohen the Barbarian and without Sean Astin, though...
Ken Loach writes a script with dialogue for The Battleship Potemkin and films it as a talkie.
Be nice to the man, he's on record as not knowing what he would do if he got the kind of budget required to do that.
Forbbiden Planet
A live action version of the Black Cauldren
The Creature from the Black Laggoon
I would rather see them do a D@D movie based on the 80's cartoon wether it is animated or live action i do not care as long as it is good.
I also heard they are doing a remake of Little Shop of Horrors.
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@Sissyl - Yes. Escape from LA was...not good, but I don't blame Kurt. Russel brought the Plissken. Carpenter just forgot to bring a good script.
@Orthos - If Disney doesn't own sole rights to produce The Black Cauldron (similar to how they can't possibly control sole rights to produce other works based on public domain like Cinderella and Snow White, I hope,) I say we give The Black Cauldron to the studio that made The Secret of Kells.
@Dragon78 - Little Shop of Horrors is mentioned in the article I posted. It's apparently being updated by the writer of Glee, which is good because that means they're keeping it a musical and not trying to remake the lifeless Roger Corman movie from 1960.
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Remo Williams.
And Starship Troopers. Do the book justice this time.
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Finish Firefly!!!!!!
Dot.
And Starship Troopers. Do the book justice this time.
Nooo, it was fine as it was... The evil bugs don't like us... They haven't liked us for a very... Very... Very... Very................. Very long time, because they mass drive asteroids at subrelativistic speeds across the galaxy... Not to mention they manage to hit a major population center with it. They also almost hit a warship halfway there... And the fleet bombing the bugs crowded together enough to crash... Funny, someone should check why it is called 'space'.
Finish Firefly!!!!!!
almost too easy...
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Loved that movie!!
And Starship Troopers. Do the book justice this time.Nooo, it was fine as it was... The evil bugs don't like us... They haven't liked us for a very... Very... Very... Very................. Very long time, because they mass drive asteroids at subrelativistic speeds across the galaxy... Not to mention they manage to hit a major population center with it. They also almost hit a warship halfway there... And the fleet bombing the bugs crowded together enough to crash... Funny, someone should check why it is called 'space'.
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I think the problem is we see old movies we love and think we want remakes. You think you do, but trust me, you do not. Let them be. What I would like to see remade are the movies that had potential but, for whatever reasons, failed to live up to them.
So to begin with I'm going to second D&D. A D&D movie with the right cast and budget might not be another LotR, but it could definitely be another Conan.
My second choice is Howard the Duck. In the 1980's they took a hilarious, 4th wall breaking comic that pushed the envelope in every issue and, thinking that you couldn't do an 'adult' comic book movie, they made a PG flop of silliness. I'd like to see another shot at it with the irony intact.
The Gate. Another little known 80's flick. It could be compared to be Don't Be Afraid of the Dark. Don't get me wrong; this movie blew. It was too 80's for the 80's. But it also provided some of the most memorably horrific images of my childhood. Like when the child grows and eye-ball in the palm of his hand and then has to remove it with scissors.
Catwoman. Catwoman is an awesome and recognizable super-heroine who deserves a GOOD movie. The character has momentum from the Nolan treatment; now is the time to do it.
And finally, Showgirls.
. . . . Just kidding.
The Gate. Another little known 80's flick. It could be compared to be Don't Be Afraid of the Dark. Don't get me wrong; this movie blew. It was too 80's for the 80's. But it also provided some of the most memorably horrific images of my childhood. Like when the child grows and eye-ball in the palm of his hand and then has to remove it with scissors.
I haven't seen it since I was, like, 12, but I thought it was pretty awesome. It taught me how to play my records backwards for Satanic messages!
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I think the problem is we see old movies we love and think we want remakes. You think you do, but trust me, you do not. Let them be. What I would like to see remade are the movies that had potential but, for whatever reasons, failed to live up to them.
Don't get me wrong. I love these old movies. I just think remaking them using today's cinematic advances could greatly enhance the story.
I would also like to see these movies stick closer to the books, which did not always happen in adaptions.
RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16
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All of the Michael Bay Transformers, except that when Michael Bay gives an idea, someone slaps him and the director/writer does the opposite.
And the Fantastic 4 movies; both were terrible and should get some of the Marvel magic of recent movies.
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The 'Prequel' Trilogy to Star Wars. Leave the originals alone, but correct the flaming piles of crap that ruined the universe for me.
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Not a remake, but I'd like to see a reboot of the Highlander franchise. It shouldn't be a remake of the 1986 film, which should be left alone, but I'd like to see the concepts used in Highlander brought back and done right.
Sadly, Panzer and Davis have irrevocably destroyed that franchise, so the only thing left to do is wait for the remake to flop like everything else has.
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Five remakes I would like to see:
Spike Lee films The Merchant of Venice as a musical;
Wes Anderson reboots Spider-Man;
Martin Scorsese does a ten-hour Conan epic;
Tim Burton remakes M; and,
Ken Loach writes a script with dialogue for The Battleship Potemkin and films it as a talkie.
Wes Anderson Spiderman reboot! That was epic. I'd go see that.
A remake of Highlander, there Should Have Been Only One? No thank you.
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Aeon Flux.
Firefly (not a remake so much as a 2nd-100th season. Alas though the moment has passed.)
It is sad that one stupid character can ruin a movie like what happened to Gor. Even so, you would need some pretty extensive reworking of any script and not base it too firmly on the drektacular books...
Dragonball evolution, man was that awful. It actually hurts to watch.
Avatar: The Last Airbender
Having finally started watching the series, and after only seeing snippets of the movie, I can tell they did two things wrong immediately:
1) took itself waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy too seriously all the time
2) (if, from what I can tell from every trailer, snippet, etc is correct) they told instead of showed
I really think that if they simply paired down the journey (which, I admit is part of the point, but still, for a movie they could) and added some decent humor (though probably not exactly the cartoonish-style of the show... which rarely comes off right in film) it could be a really neat movie. Of course, I might be talking out of the wrong end of a donkey, as I'm sick right now and I've not seen the original film (but I've heard nothing but panning from fans and non-fans of the show alike).
One thing to watch out for (whenever you turn a <insert different franchise here> into a movie) is attempting to cram in too many little favors to the fans that detract from the main narrative.
Anyway. Seems doable. (Jackson did an amazing job with Lord of the Rings.)
Also, seconding Black Cauldron (though it's never going to happen, sadly, considering it's a Disney canon film) and Dragonlance. EDIT: and D&D. There's just too many different possible good ideas out there, and they just seem to focus on the lousy ones. Really, a good D&D movie would really only need to be a decent high-fantasy adventure story. It doesn't need tons of dragons, world-shattering events, or the like: Conan the Barbarian plus some magic would make a great D&D movie for example. It really should be doable and well, but it's amazing how badly (and repeatedly badly) it's been done.
Heck, take the short adventure Sons of Gruumsh. Add dialogue and a script. BAM! You've got a D&D movie.
Anyway, ending rant for now.
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The Chronicles of Riddick: Pretend this movie didn't happen, use Pitch Black as the starting point and try again. The technology jump from Pitch Black to COR was just too huge. PB looks like it took place 100 years in the future, COR looks like it took place 1000+ years in the future.
Yeah, I think Vin Diesel is like 5 years ahead of you. He's just finishing off Riddick 3 which reportedly will be closer in tone to Pitch Black than the Chronicles of Riddick. Apparently Diesel has taken a severe pay cut to make sure the film is not neutered into a PG-13 mess and he's closely working with David Twowy to make sure it retains the hard edge that made Pitch Black a success.
Watch this space.
EDIT: and D&D. There's just too many different possible good ideas out there, and they just seem to focus on the lousy ones. Really, a good D&D movie would really only need to be a decent high-fantasy adventure story. It doesn't need tons of dragons, world-shattering events, or the like: Conan the Barbarian plus some magic would make a great D&D movie for example. It really should be doable and well, but it's amazing how badly (and repeatedly badly) it's been done.
Heck, take the short adventure Sons of Gruumsh. Add dialogue and a script. BAM! You've got a D&D movie.
Anyway, ending rant for now.
Responding to my own edit, 'cause, you know, I do that, apparently.
Anyway: one of the things about fantasy movies is that they tend to feel the need to tell The Ultimate Story (tm). The problem is that there are only so many of those to go around. The world always has to be in danger. The last of everything always has to be at stake. That's... just not really the only way to tell a fantasy story. Make it small, local, and relevant.
Use approachable terminology (not incomprehensible jargon). Wizard's don't have to shout the names of their spells, and it doesn't have to be obvious which game rule specifically is being used. Apparently-boring trudging punctuated by a short action scene followed by more trudging works to get across the idea of "random encounters" just fine. Again: Jackson made it work in Lord of the Rings (though he had terrific material to work off of first).
If you actually adapted something like the Sons of Gruumsh, you'd have to first make it about more than just "attack the [spoiled], and rescue the [spoiled]", even though that takes up the bulk of the booklet. Rather, the movie would have to involve the quest to discover just what did happen to...
Later, when they get to the orc castle, show their struggle to get in, but don't do everything. Really, the castle assault, while one of the most important parts of that journey, shouldn't be the bulk of the movie. It might be a great half-hour, maybe even forty-five minutes (of an hour-and-a-half movie), but that's about it. Any more, and it's just too much.
Vary the assault-style, but do so rationally. Don't split the party, but choose one way of entry (possibly discussed by the party first) that makes sense for this group (possibly stealth or guile), then another for continuing (either stealth again, or maybe direct-assault and pitched-but-quick battle), and a third for getting down below (probably speed and stealth more than pitched battle).
Heck, one possibility is to pull a Clue and release a few random variant movies (though I don't actually think this is a good idea!) showcasing different possibilities.
In any event, have the battle to get them up and out go difficulty, and show that - heroes or no - they need to get out past the hordes of tribes with as little combat as possible. Things go wrong (and not as in "dramatic character death at the climax"), but they struggle through.
They arrive back, deliver the scions, and get rewarded. The ranger-guy they met out in the wild (probably when they lost the trail and accidentally headed to Glister - likely there was a brief tussle before learning the truth, and likely he's the one who took them to Xul Jarak) would note that the amassed orc forces are beginning to scatter, and the threat they've been seeing dissipating.
Have the "twist" ending (their heroes feast is a trap) be a genuine twist, though hints can be dropped earlier. End with the heroes victorious (though one of the nobles might die), and the bad guys defeated, potential future alliances, and also potential severed ones due to this misadventure, and you've got a great basic fantasy story.
You've also got to do more than just go with the printed adventure (which is the current D&D movies' main flaw, from everything I've seen - they show approximately a play-by-play of a printed adventure with shallow, unrelatable characters). Show the (presumably four) adventurers as they interact with each other, and the city at large. Show the mage using his magical talents to gain information. Show the face using her way with people to pull out information from them and manipulate others successful. Show the CHA-dump character having difficulty relating well to others (but ready to shine when needed later). The priest can make little moments minor sermons without being too forceful or unpleasantly preachy. But make all of them likable (or at least relatable) in their own way. Give each of them a time to shine and a time when they're not useful. An important note to make, however: "relatable" doesn't mean the same thing as "cool", "hip", "modern" or anything of the like (it never works like it sounds like it should). And don't make them "stock" characters (i.e. your mysterious mage is the same as all other mysterious mages, etc) or "stock-characters-but-surpirse (i.e. totally stereotypical dumb warrior... who likes poetry and dainty tea).
Add points of humor (but make it in-character, not pointless slapstick).
Make actions have consequences. A poisoned arrow slowly weakens its target. A wounded character isn't as effective. An earlier comment comes to relevance later.
What's more, the edition doesn't matter... much. But what I'd recommend is that they choose one edition for purpose of style (i.e. internal-consistency), and go with it (probably 5th edition/Next, or, if they adapt a pre-published adventure, that edition).
While I used Sons of Gruumsh as an idea above (quickly and not well-thought out - I'd obviously need a script writer with good dialogue and better pacing than above), pretty much any one-shot adventure could be done this way. Basically: make it about the characters who go on an adventure instead of about the adventure; but make sure the adventure, the world around it, and the consequences of it makes sense within the context we're given. Also, although I mentioned Sons of Gruumsh, it might behoove to do something of an even lower-level, if you feel the need to make an "origin story" (though I, personally, wouldn't).
Though really, in the end, the best "D&D" movie, is probably something akin to The Gamers, The Gamers: Dorkness Rising, or the upcoming The Gamers: Hands of Fate (buy all of them, at least, buy the last one after it comes out!), because they show the experience of playing the game in a relatable way.
But given the context of making D&D movies in an in-fantasy style (which seems to be the wont), I'd suggest adapting a (lower-level) pre-published module. As I've said before: high-fantasy doesn't mean high-level.
Also: BLARG, The David and Mazra totally ninja'd this idea way back. Look, it's not my fault, I'm sick! (That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.)