Best moments from your campaign


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Ms. Nebulous, that story was amazing!

I was going to post something humorous, but I think I need to ponder your story for a while.


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A somewhat humorous example:

As a one-shot, I had all the players meet up in a prison cell. The group consisted of a cannibalistic elf, an orcish wizard, a psychotic halfling barbarian and a catfolk bard. They were all bored out of their minds (in-game!) when they heard a scratching at the dungeon wall. The bard was the only one who understood kobold when he asked who was making the scratching. When the kobolds asked where they were, the catfolk replied, "uh- a brothel!"
A pause. "We shall soon be done with excavation."
So the PCs were kidnapped by kobolds (to be sold). The escaped once, but returned to the wagon they were traveling in when they decided it was easier than walking. So the voluntary prisoners ditched the wagon again. The kobolds chased them- and suddenly raced back the opposite way. Weaponless and spellbookless and faced with a snarling krenshar, the orcish wizard grappled the krenshar and the elven ranger punched straight through its brain. Then they wore the gore and bones and pelt and returned to the kobold camp, playing the part of the bloodthirsty gods of the underworld. About half the kobolds bolted. The weaponless PCs managed to kill the rest with their bare hands and disregard for personal safety (the halfling had strapped a fang to his forehead like a unicorn's horn and was charging back and forth in the near-lightless cavern trying to hit something by pure luck and failing).
The stole one of the wagons and slapped luminous moss on it and decorated it with the bones of their enemies and became the Traveling Kobold Brothel.


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I'll need to set this one up a bit...

This happened many years ago, in a 1st-ed AD&D campaign set in a homebrew world. The party consisted of Liana, an Elven priestess of the God of the Elves, plus Borin (a dwarf fighter), Vektra (a human female magic-user), and Rongo (a half-elf thief). There was also a recurring NPC villain/foil/reluctant ally named Lindor (an elf magic-user/thief) that had an on-again/off-again romantic relationship with Liana. The party had previously caught Lindor and turned him over to the Elven authorities, where they had tried him for treason, and sentenced him to imprisonment beneath the protected Sacred Grove behind the Main Temple of the Elven God.

Over the course of the campaign, the party found evidence that there was corruption at the highest ranks of the Elven Church, and that the High Priest was actually a servant of Nyarlathotep, who had assassinated the previous High Priest! Unfortunately, the only expert on the Old Ones that they knew was Lindor. So, they stole an artifact from the Temple of the Elf God, and used it to free Lindor, who agreed to assist them.

Of course, this put the entire Elven military on high alert-- Lindor was an infamous traitor, and now the party were Public Enemy No.1!

While trying to sneak out of the Elven Lands into the Great Human Empire, an Elven patrol caught up with them. The dwarf and thief managed to get away without hurting anyone, but the soldiers caught Lindor, Liana, and Vektra. Lindor drew his blade, but Liana held his arm. Thinking quickly, Vektra cast suggestion.

Vektra: These are not the elves you're looking for.
Guards (in unison): These are not the elves we're looking for.
Vektra: We can go about our business.
Guards: You can go about your business.
Vektra: Move along!
Guards: Move along!


So today our group was faced with a problem. We were supposed to meet our rides back to the castle in Numeria and all we found was tracks and drag marks of people and a griffon. Our group split into 3 separate squads. Two of the squads had 3 people and the last one only had 1. Long story short. They eventually met back up in the underground of a church of Razmir. One of our characters was to be a sacrifice and I couldn't have that, being LG.
My character is an armored fighter with shields for weapons, was level 5 and has been enchanted with an Earth Elemental 3 spell.
My fighter threw his shield at Raz's head and bounced it to one of his minions to stop the execution and back to himself as he jumped down in front of the living god.
At that point they both spent a round buffing up to the full Large size category and then began battle.
Raz swung and missed as did I, but my second attack was by use of CMB. It knocked the fake god onto his bum, so when he tried to get up it was an attack of opportunity. He ate heal and stayed down. The next thing we knew the place exploded. I passed my Ref save and the Calvary showed up (griffon riders) and with that Raz dimension doored out. All I could do is turn to the followers of Raz and say, "See? Your god runs from me!"
I had been ready to sacrifice my character so as to save the other guys character and made out by not only living, but causing the opponent to run.


Gaming memory from AD&D/2E days that still makes me chuckle: I'm the DM. The party's scout/magic user somehow gets himself captured by a group of pirates who set off with him across a very large lake. A psionic monk manages to polymorph himself into a hawk in order to follow the ship, so as to report back on its destination, in order that the party can eventually follow and make a rescue. As the monk can psionically perform telepathy with the party, I let the whole group remain in the room instead of pulling the player aside as per my routine. The whole trailing the pirates and communication with the party thing takes several minutes in RL. Suddenly I couldn't help but break into laughing, followed by the whole group, as it dawned on us all that Rob(player), the monk, was the whole time flapping his arms in chicken dance fashion. His expression, as he couldn't understand why the laughs, was, as is the memory, priceless.


It was small but satisfying to me as the GM. A party of 2nd level characters walks into a treasure vault and immediately splits up; 2 head to the far end of the chamber to an obvious looking trap over the exit, 1 covers the entry (40'away) and one heads into the middle of the side wall, to inspect a dwarven warhammer there (he's a dwarf fighter.) Everyone rolls initiative and the disarm trap goes off first, but then the dwarf touches the hammer...POOF! Not only was the treasure a figment but the REAL trap is the evil sprite waiting hidden with an enlarged maddening mist spell.

The hall begins filling w/the mist. The wizard guarding the main entry was holding an action but failed his perception check, so he doesn't know where the spell came from and he can't see his friends. He also fails his save; he's Shaken and has taken a point of wisdom damage. Since he hasn't acted this round he chooses as his action to back out of the room into the entry hall.

Now, under the Shaken condition and down a point of wis he steps RIGHT next to where the sprite is perched. The rest of the party takes their actions and on her turn the sprite casts Charm Person...and the wizard FAILS it! First time I've had a PC fail a charm attempt for YEARS!

Anyway, he's charmed, she flutters down, tells him everything's going to be ok and slips an arm around his neck as she perches on his shoulder. The rest of the party emerges from the mist on round 3 to find their buddy smiling, introducing his new "friend" who is precisely the fey that's been dogging them for hours in this burial vault. Best is; they KNOW that she's their enemy but they refuse to do anything about it for fear of hitting their comrade.


One of my best memories as a DM was the start of a new campaign (3.5 rules if I remember rightly)
At this time , we were playing in a club so several tables were running at the same time . This evening, they were two.
All characters were prevouly played ancient greek who had died in previous adventures with their bodies not being recovered so without the means of paying their coins to the ferrymen
I began describing their torments as shades stranded before the Styx . And at the corner of my eye, I spot a player of another table drifting by , stopping , listening and going away
Two minutes later , all the players of the other table and their DM showed up and listened silently as my players were growing desperate to find a mean to either pass the styx or (being cunning greeks) come back to life.
During the rest of the session , I would see some players coming to check on our progress when their characters were not occupied otherwise
They did meet a greek merchant and asked him to take pity of fellow athenians . the merchant only reply was 'Thebes'
Time passed and another creature passed by . this time this was just a vampire whose reply was 'Bloodless creatures , you are of no interest to me ' One player replied 'May the benediction of Apollo follow you !'
Finally they were contacted by the patron of the adventure and sent back to earth with their new bodies created from bits and bits of corpses in the middle of a battle between greeks and orcs allied with barbarians , their condition being rather like free undead. Their first reaction was of course to run toward the greek lines where a 2nd level priest of Apollo did his job turning the foul undead away
The remark of one of my player at this low point was ' Better be turned by a priest of Apollo than controlled by a shaman of Gruumsh'

At the end of the session , many players of the other table inquired if there could be a vacancy in the group . I could not have been prouder.


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Warning: Minor Kingmaker spoilers follow.

Last night my Kingmaker group ran into the horror they'd created several sessions back - a Shambling Mound with a Will-o-Wisp buddy, created when the Oracle got a suggestion from a Crit card and convinced the Wisp to go hunt in the Shambler's territory rather than kill the party. This beast has been scaring them with its imminent return for over a month now, and at last it managed to corner them where they simply couldn't flee - deep within the woods, where the party would be slowed by the terrain but the Mound didn't give a damn.

Forced to stand and fight, the group gangs up on the thing to give the Oracle a chance to drag the body of the unicorn they'd found away, fearing that if the Shambler consumes the corpse - like it had done to some bandits they'd killed and Tuskgutter the Dire Boar's headless body - it might get FURTHER supercharged by the magical creature. So the Magus, Barbarian, Samurai, archer Rogue, and Oracle's summoned Earth and Air Elementals start trying to pile on some damage to this thing, while the Mound pounds on the party trying to engulf or constrict and the Wisp bobs around shocking people.

Then the Rogue gets a crit on the Shambler. And draws the crit card "Overreaction" - everyone around the Shambler gets a free AoO on it.

And every single one of the people in range - the Samurai, the Magus, and the Earth Elemental - also crits.

Within the space of a single round, the Shambler goes from barely injured and still trucking along to extremely badly wounded (60+ damage in total), bleeding sap and brackish ichor freely (2d6 bleed), utterly paralyzed (Severed Spine - 3d6 dex damage reduced it flat to zero), and wounded in whatever bundle of moss served as its brain (1 INT bleed). It proceeds to just lay there for three rounds before finally bleeding out completely.

Meanwhile the Wisp proves much more difficult to subdue. The party can barely hit it, most of the Magus's spells don't work, and every time they get it surrounded it vanishes then reappears behind someone, weathers their prepared attacks, and starts up the shocking again. The Barbarian quickly gets tired of this, and reaches up and grabs hold of the thing like a flying electric pumpkin. He's taking lightning damage each round and the Wisp's getting to attack him without even rolling to boot (though I was rolling for crit potential, it never did), but it's grappled and unable to escape, rendering it flat-footed to the rest of the party.

The Rogue and Samurai get a few good hits in, then the Oracle herself finally joins the fray... and proceeds to also crit with her eldritch bolt. She draws Time Warp: target is sent 1d4 rounds into the future. Since it's in a grapple with the Barbarian, I decided it sent them both. Bamf, no more Centaur or DeathGlowBug. They returned shortly later, and the flurry of prepared attacks FINALLY killed the thing, but that was the first time I've ever heard the phrase "I'm sorry, I'll try not to crit again!" uttered without sarcasm.

Grand Lodge

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Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook Subscriber

Half-Orc Guard: The boss said not to let anyone in, so you can't come in. *slams door*

Vati, Half-Orc Monk: Hold on, I speak Orc. *knocks on door*

Half-Orc Guard: *opens door*

Vati: *unarmed strike*


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Orthos wrote:

Warning: Minor Kingmaker spoilers follow.

Last night my Kingmaker group ran into the horror they'd created several sessions back - a Shambling Mound with a Will-o-Wisp buddy...

I still don't know if this beats the insanity that was the raid on the Stag Lord...


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Some of my favorite moments come from the 4th Edition players. They show up and play for a couple of hours, at best and then some of them come over to the Pathfinder table and listen in and ask questions. Then following weekend they are at the Pathfinder table.


Orthos wrote:
...it's grappled and unable to escape, rendering it flat-footed to the rest of the party.

But grappled doesn't add flat-footedness...


So today the crew completed basic training with R Lee Ermey. He is originally an Andorian and went TDY to Absalom and eventually became an instructor.
It began at 5 in the morning and everyone was ready half an hour early. This included the Gremlin someone created for the keep. Said Gremlin thought he was hiding from the drill by sneaking up behind him. That is until the Drill told him to toe the line. After having the crew get all their equipment (the pirate went back to bed and the drill thought it was a great idea to strap him to the bed and have him haul it, too) and making up any difference between that and their full load, they went on a march around all of Absalom yelling, '1, 2, 3, 4, I love the Absalom Corps!' Along they way they went through the Coins and everyone hid from the drill and his recruits, but we did pick up some slaves that took advantage of the situation.
After returning, getting cleaned up and having chow they had some combat training. The Gremlin had no one to match up with so the Drill Instructor went into 'hand' to gremlin combat with him and unleashed his flurry of fingers. The Gremlin was reduced to a movement of 5'.

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook Subscriber

The party opens the door to an ancient privy, the stench of which forces Fort saves against nausea.

Dex Fighter: I rolled a one. Amras turns to Kipe and throws up on him.

DM: Kipe, roll a Reflex to avoid.

Str Fighter: I rolled a one too.

DM: Okay, your mouth was open, roll another Fort.

Str Fighter: I just throw up on Amras.

Dex Fighter: REFLEX! Dang, another 1.

Party: We go back to the kitchen we passed and cast create water to clean everyone up.


Our group pirate wanted to buy a ship on the black market. The only one existing was the slave ship he had been on that was manned by knolls. Have you ever seen a house where the dogs were kept inside for a month? The man told him it would take a while...until 10k in gold was put in his hands. The pirate follwed him out to the docks to watch him go ready the ship...he left before the man reached it. The man boarded a different ship and left for a different port. He still had the money with him.


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We had quite a few good moments in our evil campaign, but nothing quite beats the tale of Operation Dino Drop.

Dramatis Personae:
Argentinio Cervantes: Human wizard with a Jersey Shore accent (Hispanic name notwithstanding) and a douchebag personality to match.

Rebecca the Kind: Human wizard, focused on debuffs and transmutation (she had in fact turned an assassin who tried to kill her into a newt). Very old and prone to sentences starting with "In my day..."

Rindel: Antipaladin (race unknown) who fought with a blood crystal greatsword. Prone to impulsive - some might even say stupid - behavior.

Michael Baumhauer / "Michael Bomber": Human sorcerer with the draconic bloodline (Red dragon), focused on destructive evocation spells. Gained his nickname by basically being a mad pyro.

Zaknarak (spelling uncertain): Drow synthesist; name translates to "shadow storm"; fond of casting Deeper Darkness all over the battlefield...whether it would be helpful to the rest of the party or not.

We had been tasked with assassinating thirteen high profile paladins, all of whom had gathered into one city. One of them, known only as The Judge, would come out every day and give a rousing speech to his comrades. The other twelve, known, of course, as The Jury, would be present as well. So we knew where they'd be, but none of us really wanted to engage them in combat, 60% of us being squishy spellcasters and all.

To that end, we deliberated in our party's airship (basically a wooden ship suspended beneath a massive balloon), currently hanging 1,000 feet above the city. Given the Judge's renowned skill in combat, along with the enchanted axe he wielded with said legendary skill, just flying down into the city seemed a bad idea. We considered sneaking in under cover of darkness, but then we wouldn't know where our targets had gone.

And then, out of nowhere, a plan was hatched.

Argentinio: "You know, I could just summon a buncha f*ckin' dinosaurs and we could drop 'em on those mooks down there."

The rest of the party balked, laughed, thought about it, agreed and laughed even harder.

It was decided that Triceratops would be our weapon of choice. Argentinio summoned four of them, Rebecca cast Animal Growth on one, and Michael doused it with oil and set it aflame (because...why not?), and using telekinesis the dinosaurs were sent hurtling toward the ground. Seeing as they would have to be steered onto target, we all jumped overboard (either casting Fly or, in Michael's case, growing wings) to guide the dinosaurs in. For reasons unknown to me, the DM began playing Kanye West's "Power" at this point. Just before impact, we all broke off, except for Rindel, who figured he had enough hp, and decided to go all Doctor Strangelove and ride the biggest Triceratops all the way in.

And so it was that at exactly the 25 second mark (NO ONE MAN SHOULD HAVE ALL THAT POWER!), the Judge looked up to see what may be the most metal image possible: a warrior clad in black armor, wielding a blood-red sword, riding a flaming, 60 foot long fiendish dinosaur, coming right at him at terminal velocity, with four crazy spellcasters guiding smaller dinosaurs toward other paladins.

The largest dinosaur landed directly on top of the Judge, killing him instantly (the ranged touch attack scored a crit). Rindel survived the impact, dismounted and attacked. All three other Triceratops also successfully hit their targets.

The battle that followed was awesome as well, with Michael dropping out of the sky and hitting half a dozen paladins with Chain Lightning and Rebecca disintegrating an opponent, but nothing could top the insanity of the initial dino strike (not to mention the DM's impression of the paladins' reactions).


So we are travelling per train through the Mana-Wastes, when suddenly a Sand-Kraken appeared. It grabbed the train and tried to pull it of the road.
So the Magus had asked a few questions about the train before the journey started, and found out, that in order to avoid the zone of wild magic at the borders of the Mana-Wastes, the train used sticks, which would burn incredibly hot, thus making the train much faster (simelar to the ones in Back to the future 3). So he took all but one, and let the Barbarian throw him at the Krake. Midair, the Magus threw the sticks and a fire spell into the Krakens maw, before throwing his grappling hook onto the back of the train, while the rest of the party gave the train operator the signal, to put the last stick into the oven, thus giving the train a burst of speed.
The train succesfully slipped from the Krakens grip, and the Magus survived, despite massive falling, and dragging damage.

And this was my first session of Pathfinder


Last night my fellow pcs and I found a bag of holding type 2 with eight hearts in it. The bag was in a secret compartment in an Altar of Diablos(final fantasy campaign) inside an abandoned mine.

Paladin(DMPC):y ou can't keep those!
Monk: what if we need them?
Paladin: those are probably the hearts of the miners!
Monk: you mean children? What if there's a puzzle that says we need the heart of a child? Or eight puzzles!
Paladin: No, I mean the people who worked here!
Magus(Me): They used child labor?!


Just last night, something utterly badass happened in our weekly game.

Dramatis Personae:
Baxter "The Badger": Human lore warden who seeks to face and slay the toughest monsters the world has to offer. Raised on the plains by an aboriginal tribe, and so ended up speaking with an Australian accent (mostly for humor value). Has a trained cheetah named Paul McCatney (usually just referred to as Paul). Primary weapon is a fauchard, with which Baxter excels at tripping enemies. Really, really dislikes Prince Perry.

Chauncey: Prince Perry's (see below) squire and a low-level paladin. Very old and slow moving, courtesy of his heavy armor and the fact that Perry's always making him carry stuff. Mostly useful in combat due to his Lay on Hands ability.

Eric Droverson: Human druid specializing in vermin. Has low Constitution due to a time in his childhood when he almost starved to death, and as such tends to stay back from the front lines and summon things. Has a giant spider companion named Boudicca.

Ivan "The Terrible" Grenadier with an unhealthy interest in SCIENCE! Tends to shoot himself up with new formulas he's devised just to see what will happen (this is how he ended up with a third arm). Has a tumor familiar named Mathilde. Due to being played by the same guy as Rindel in the evil campaign, is prone to impulsive - some might even say stupid - behavior.

Prince Perry Thrustsword: Human swashbuckler and second or third in line for the throne of his home country. His father sent him out to adventure in hopes that he would man up...or get killed. Rides in a carriage rather than walking, and has a pug named Sir Chigglebum, who is spoiled beyond belief (lives in the carriage, poops on pillows and has his own set of food and linens).

Thorn: Elven treesinger. Raised by intelligent plant creatures in a forest devoid of animal life and, as such, totally ignorant in matters of animals. Has a sapling treant companion named Brute, who at this point has an Intelligence score of 3 and thus knows very few words of common, naturally including the phrase "I am Brute".

We had wandered into a town whose inhabitants had been slaughtered by a greater barghest. A lone elf named Malachi remained, and he was a member of the last adventuring party to go through here. His party had slain the barghest that had been terrorizing the town, but didn't know about its more powerful mate, which was the thing that had laid waste to the town after the party left. Malachi had heard of this and returned by himself to kill the beast.

The town was now overrun with dire wolves, which we had to brave because Prince Perry had accidentally left Sir Chigglebum in the carriage, which the wolves were closing in on. We had a plan to distract the wolves and rescue the pug (and Lord how insane does that sound?), but that plan fell apart when Ivan went all Leeroy Jenkins and tried to rescue the dog and ride off on the horse (the one that had been pulling the carriage) by himself. We ended up fairly banged up and low on spells, because our GM seems not to have realized that nine CR 3 dire wolves comes out to a CR 9 fight, which is kind of rough on a level 5 party.

So of course, after we'd been worn down by the wolves, the greater barghest appeared, having already used its mass enlarge person spell-like ability to grow to Huge size. Eric and Boudicca, Ivan, Thorn and Brute made a run for it, figuring we'd heal up and try and track the barghest the next day. Malachi provided cover for our retreat with his bow (granted he also just wanted to kill this thing), and Thorn summoned a dire badger to occupy the barghest as long as possible while we ran.

Prince Perry, by the way, was already gone, having last been seen running screaming into the forest with three dire wolves in hot pursuit.

While everyone else ran, however, Baxter advanced on the monster. This thing was what he adventured for, a great beast truly worth facing. He attempted to trip it, rolling a Nat 20 on his combat maneuver roll, but the beast was not only Huge, it apparently had also used mass bull's strength on itself, and the best Baxter could do was not enough to topple the monster.

The barghest tore the dire badger in half and charged Baxter. He got an attack of opportunity in on it, hitting, and its bite attack missed, but now it was do or die, because on the monster's next turn it wouldn't have to move, and so could make a full attack with teeth and claws, and it was not likely to miss again.

Baxter's turn, and he hit, threatened a crit and rolled a Nat 20 on his confirmation roll. The end result, combined with the damage from Malachi's arrows, was more than fatal.

The GM described it thus: as the twenty foot long demonic wolf-beast lunged, jaws agape, Baxter drove his fauchard directly into its open maw, the blade penetrating the roof of its mouth, passing through the brain and erupting from the top of its head. Screaming a mighty battle cry, Baxter hurled the vile thing's corpse to the ground in a cloud of dust.

Needless to say, everyone, Malachi included, was suitably impressed with Baxter.


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Last session we were fighting a mothman in a foggy swamp, and inevitably the creature ended up using Phantasmal Killer on three of us, forcing us to face our deepest, darkest fears, leading to a mix of awesome and funny.

When Eric was hit with it, he saw his mentor/love interest...

Spoiler:
a jorogumo named Kasumi, the source of his vermin focus and the origin of the spider part of his Vermin Heart feat (she taught him some of her Spider Empathy)

...telling him how deeply disappointed she was in him and how pathetic he'd become. Eric made the save to disbelieve and got even more cross with the mothman.

Dwarven fighter Annika (new member of the party) saw a man from her mercenary past emerge from the fog, taunting her and saying she would never have her revenge and her comrades' souls would never pass on. She failed the Will save to disbelieve but made the Fortitude save to avoid dying instantly.

And then it came to Prince Perry...

GM: You see figures approaching out of the mist. As they come closer, you realize that they're peasants.

Prince Perry: Oh...

GM: And they're demanding fair taxation...

Perry: No...

GM: And human rights.

Perry: Oh, God!

GM: And democracy!

Perry: *fails save to disbelieve* NOOOOO!!! The peasants, Chauncey! THE PEASANTS ARE REVOLTING!


I'll say. They stink on ice!

Here's mine:

I ran a 10 year long 2e campaign that ended in 2000. One of the major characters was my friend Tam's ranger, Diana Brownsparrow. Her backstory included leaving her homeland to escape her abusive lover, another ranger.

At one point I ran a couple of adventures where he showed up and joined the party. The roleplaying was awesome between her and "him". But soon he showed his true colors and turned on her again, so she told him to leave under threat of death.

A year later (in real time) I'd run a few adventures that made them think he was somewhere still around. Sure enough he was, as he showed up in the nick of time to save Diana and the rest of the group from a pack of ghouls. He sacrificed his life so they could escape.

6 more real time months go by, with lots of gaming. At the end of a particularly harrowing adventure, they faced off against a wight, who they discovered was her former lover. He told her he that, "I swore I would love you until I die, and now we'll be together forever!" He attacked, and after a really good combat segment, she killed him for good. Tam, the ranger's player, actually broke down and cried because she was imagining the emotional agony Diana would be going through after it was all over.

Yeah. Pretty proud of that one.


Will keep it short and sweet. Played an elf wizard with the name of Thorazeen. He was NE and was a smoother talker than the rogue and out intimidated the teams fighter as he actually intimidated (by a.lucky die roll) an anti-paladin. The gm let me roll withit as my party stared open mouthes as the elf wizard in only his small clothes acted like a demented monk. It was silly but fun,, he ended up dieing later on though.


DungeonmasterCal wrote:
I'll say. They stink on ice!

I'm glad to see I wasn't the only one who thought something like that; I had Dragonheart flashbacks.

Einon: The peasants are revolting!

Brok: They've always been revolting; now they're rebelling!

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