Let's Play Calvinball!!

[Charles Scholz]

The only problem with rolling goldfish is they are only 2 sided with a 1 on both side.

[lucky7]

Roll more dice [dice] 1000d2 [\dice]

[hobbsdadolfin]

1001. one 2. oof.

[Ensirio the Longstrider]

EVERYBODY STOP

Anyone who moves before the dreidel stops spinning loses 3dG(arfunkel) points and must retreat an equal number of phalanges!

[lucky7]

.....................

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I've gotten all this way without having any of either, so I've nothing to lose. Here goes...

GIMEL!!! With a side order of lamprey pie!!!

[Loup Blanc]

100d999 ⇒ (967, 360, 205, 137, 382, 11, 322, 586, 184, 373, 861, 348, 703, 173, 893, 245, 285, 771, 175, 318, 203, 276, 782, 824, 98, 345, 752, 499, 795, 332, 654, 728, 161, 295, 516, 154, 90, 6, 157, 902, 404, 82, 845, 645, 837, 728, 410, 666, 551, 560, 572, 199, 651, 41, 679, 558, 437, 703, 52, 992, 94, 527, 454, 44, 88, 490, 169, 102, 791, 136, 590, 55, 873, 379, 531, 938, 714, 325, 616, 331, 522, 240, 612, 128, 459, 699, 598, 482, 775, 899, 831, 551, 828, 162, 301, 178, 617, 628, 624, 865) = 46726

They see me rolling, they hating...

I snatch the dreidel, scream "IT STOPPED!" and take all the Gs. You're all set back by the length of a Möbius strip.

[Blackacre]

I post up Hobbes, take a dreidel pass from Loup Blanc, drop step, and touch it down between the posts for a try! Eight points! And the foul!

...and LB gets an assist.

...also bonus points for basketball reference in March. BOOYAH!

...also double bonus points for rugby reference from a non-commonwealth native (a) during Super Rugby season and (b) after Wales jackhammered England to win the 6N. w00t!

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

In a shocking but hilarious development, the Communist Party conquers Texas. I play the Saloon card to celebrate, and everybody gets 1 HP back.

[lucky7]

I channel negative energy. Sorry.

[FuelDrop]

Hey Lucky7, why aren't you wearing any pants?

Also: I AM A MAN! *Punch*

[Koko The Gorilla]

*I Am A Lady Fine Animal Gorilla* *Countless-Times-Stronger Punch*

[hobbsdadolfin]

while you two are punching each other...

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!!!!!!!!!

oh, sorry, this isn't Spain.

[lucky7]

slap the victory away from you and charge into the space-time vortex!

[hobbsdadolfin]

the other end of the space time vortex is a room made out of nothing but anti-tank mines.

[Captain Spalding]

While they are busy fighting, I pick up the shuttlecock, put a bag of 100 ladybugs in it and punt it into the goal. I get 2 points for every one to go in the goal.
1d100 ⇒ 36

[hobbsdadolfin]

I come charging out of the space-time vortex, which opens up right in the goal, throwing AT mines like pies at every thing I see. including your ladybugs.

[Captain Spalding]

You fiend, that is why only 36 went in.

[hobbsdadolfin]

I then throw my remaining AT mines at the goal, if more that 20 out of the 30 that remain hit the goalposts, the goal comes alive as an ancient white dragon, with a mouth in the shape of a soccer goal. (this will still count as the goal)
1d30 = 22.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

The Ancient Goal uses its Breath Weapon - take 20d4 cold damage, DC 27 Reflex save for half.

Well, what else were you expecting to get out of that?

[lucky7]

I use suggestion, dominate and every other enchantment spell useful to help me command it. I've prepared all my spells with this in mind. Roll multiple will saves.

[hobbsdadolfin]

∞d∞ = ∞

[lucky7]

off by... how do you type infininty?

[Charles Scholz]

You have to find it in a word font, then paste it to your post.

[lucky7]

oh.

[hobbsdadolfin]

I make an oragami helecopter and throw it at the goal.

1d20 = 18

sh*t. it misses. (actually used from random.org, needed nat 20 to make the goal)

[lucky7]

I tell you you can use the dice. And I make an origami Boeing-747

[Charles Scholz]

I throw a paper flying fortress over the playing field, which drops sleep bombs on the other players. I rush the goal and score 15 shuttle points.

[SnowJade]

I snore so loudly that I and all of the other players wake up. That's what you get for sleep-bombing somebody with sinus problems.

[jacobc62]

I play the field spell card "Race Track" and cast "Summon Stock-Car Driver I", this gives me 46 points, plus 2 for winning the race.

[lucky7]

I cast Earthquake to collapse the racetrack, then scoop up the points.

[Charles Scholz]

I cast flash flood and wash all those points to me.

[SnowJade]

I use Teleportation to haul in the points, place them in my Bag of Holding, and head for La Serena, Chile.

[Rock Lord]

It took almost 4 months, but I got an earthquake started near Chile and that sent all the points scattering across the planet again.

3.14 points to everyone who recovers one of the original points!

[lucky7]

Batman cape allows me to anywhere during my Jump Phase, so I head up on the balcony.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

The Riddler planned ahead - the balcony turns out to be the walk-in freezer. The door slams shut behind you. Professor Plum is standing there with...this weapon.

[Cr500cricket]

Mass disintegration!! Everybody Dies!!

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

No matter - Amy Pond saves the day!

[Charles Scholz]

I pick up the shuttlecock, hit it with my softball bat. It flies through three hoops and into the goal. 97 points.

[Cr500cricket]

New rule! the shuttlecock has to fly through four hoops after being hit by a softball bat or three from a baseball bat
Pastchange! Charles Scholtz's points are disallowed!

[Charles Scholz]

The goal is a hoop with a net, points reinstated.

[lucky7]

Once I'm done singing, I catch a shooting star, and go into space, and fight space monsters, bumping my score up to Fizz!

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I make a Ride-By Attack on lucky7 in my Contact's Zulu Space Chariot (which resembles a flying La-Z-Boy):

void damage: 5d20 ⇒ (2, 13, 15, 10, 16) = 56

That's enough damage to steal a "z" - I declare lucky7's score of "Fiz" to now be a "Fez," earning me just enough karma to trade my "z" in for a YUZZ, which I use to spell "Yuzz-a-ma-Tuzz."

[lucky7]

Upon my loss, I enter the Zone of Knowledge.

Everyone makes Will Save to avoid beating up the nearest player.

[drunken_nomad]

Sparks fly from every surface and the ceiling becomes ultra-magnetic.

[Cr500cricket]

implants iron into everyone else
Total domination 666 points for me
Illuminati win!

[lucky7]

The Tripods like pretty things, and they Cap everyone else.

[Charles Scholz]

Shoots the spammers. 2 points each.

[Spanky the Leprechaun]

ricochet! 5 points

[Haladir]

While everyone was doing something else because they thought the game was over, I strap on my rollerblades and dribble the quaffle down the gridiron seventeen times, vaulting through the parallel bars, and landing with a perfect triple axel.

GOOOOOOAAAAALLLLL!!!!!!!