Foul! No riding marsupials on Wednesdays!
*TWEEEET*
Fifteen minutes in the penalty box.
CHANCE TIME
All players draw a number of cards equal to their age on Mars. You can only look at every third card.
Anyone with now less than 50 cards must find a lion in 5 minutes or suffer a score deduction of 27hut.
Lion found! all players must now put magnets on the robots for 3 points
I activate my trap card, and attract all magnets to the Fool Tree for a score penalty!
That puts me at D score, which makes me eligible for a free ball and nachos, giving me a +6 score bonus to the next 2 goals I make!
*Drops out of a portal and lands on the goal, badly denting the frame. Lays there for several moments, steaming off black smoke, loose variables, and stray integers*
WOOO!! Massive unluck penalty but still she gets a zinger! Take that, you heavy-metal abacus!
Where was I... oh right. I think that's a foul ball.
[vzaammin]
a little autonomous probe slides out of otherspace, like a miniature coupling of a shark and a praying mantis swimming in the air. Its dorsal fin (in truth, an ultra-tech array of detectors) hums almost imperceptibly while it scans the surrounding space, looking for a particularly dissonnant signature.
cal-vin-b-all ?
no-known-asso-ciation-with-Eri-sian-tar-get !
tiger ?
bad-barian ? what-kind-of-a-na-me-is-that
appears on the side of the mantis/shark thing in tiny letters drawn in minute points of light, as the probing device speaks to its memory banks.
Apparently disconcerted by the agreed-upon local rules, the device elects to slide out of the local existenz grid.
[vzaaamout]
I pull out my hexagon card. all players must now hop in circles on one leg singing I'm a little teapot until someone throws the ball.
This entire game is counter-revolutionary.
Joins the counter revolution and counts to 1,000,000 in odd numbers.
.
.
.
.
7013
|
Taurus swaps places with Scorpio. I get 1 point for bringing this up. Just 1.
Everyone else's score is reduced by 40%. These points are then pooled and redistributed as evenly as possible to all present players in a manner similar to Huey Long's Share Our Wealth program.
Huey Long is armed with a celestial manticore mount, a Tattoo of Many Wards, a +5 Flail of Muspellian Wisdom, and a Girdle of Hawtness.
Actually, I would win...
IF I WERE A CALVINBALL PLAYER!!!
I actually play organized games. But this could be interesting...
Everyone enter the Zone of Successful Monks! Quit b#%$&ing about them for the next Q minutes, when Q is greater than the turquoise thylacine, or suffer a deduction equal to the circumference of a warp!
*KLAXON BLARE!*
Someone mentioned Monks inside the Erisian Zone! One-week haberdasher penalty, and you have to wear your shoes on your ears!
*a trapdoor opens beneath Loup Blanc, dropping him inside a hat box on a conveyor belt, bound for the front window*
"Have a nice day!"
*waves goodbye*
What an interesting chap.
I block the new bloke, takes his ball, kisses it while singing "LALALA ! LALALA" and spinning rapidily on my axis.
Dizzy, I say "Whoaaa, that's fast !" and I release the ball.
It rebounds on three surfaces, including the teacher's head (who goes all "Boooob !" on me), plunges down a hole in the ground, accelerates on the downward stainless steel ramp installed in the tunnel... and exits from it at full velocity, going "splash" in the swimming pool.
I score 3 and a half points, and I win an hot dog with wicked chili sauce !
Mmmmmm hot dogs. Stamp of approval!
I (a half-troll half-ogre hobgoblin with four legs and three arms) run in holding a shuttlecock and a bearcat, throw the bearcat at the ballcarrier and the shuttlecock at the ref at the same time, pick up the loose ball, kick the puck into the net, and knock over a wicket with the ball - FIFTY POINTS! I WIN!
...and run off into the woods, yelling "I WIN!"
Edit: oof. Thread necromancy. I lose ten points, but get twelve for having awesome powers, and win AGAIN!!
Edit: oof. Thread necromancy. I lose ten points, but get twelve for having awesome powers, and win AGAIN!!
Calvinball never dies, it just goes into unannounced off-season every now and then and resumes whenever somebody chucks the birdie into the wicket.
Grabs bowling ball before anyone else gets there. Throws it at goal keeper.
1 - Miss = -100 pts.
2 - Hits in the head = 200 pts.
3 - Hits in the stomach = 100 pts.
4 - Hits on the arm = 5 pts.
5 - Hits on the leg = 10 pts.
6 - Hits the family jewels = 500 pts.
Hits the arm. Master gets 5 pts.
Boom! Dance time everyone!
I stand still, scoffing at your dancing. NON-CONFORMITY POINTS!!!
I believe I now have African Pygmy Elephant, to everyone else's various pachyderms.
*escapes on a Southbound Pachyderm*
*nibbles grass, scores points for adorableness*
*Casts storm of balls* Goal, goal, goal, goal, goal... damn, a furgle penalty!
Profanity penalty! Only obscenities here, friend. Bet you feel like an @$$?
Loup embraces his name and attacks the rabbit--points for both multilingualism and animal behavior correctness!
*checks pockets*
Aha! Now that the apocalypse hasn't happened, I can pay a quarter to give myself BINGO points! Everything within 50 feet of me is now in the Scholar Zone: you must carry a feather pen while inside or you'll lose 12 excuses per second!
GO LONG! *throws a melon*
Everyone must now run between the goals five times while passing the baseball between each other. Anyone holding onto the ball for more than one second goes in the penalty box for 2 minutes. The person who has the ball and places it on the goat gets 1 point for every person in the penalty box.
There is one ball in the middle of a circular stadium with a 30m diamiter. there is no gravity. Everyone has a pump-action shotgun and roller blades. The ball randomly explodes in intervals between 5 and 45 seconds. The goal is to hold the ball for as long as possible without it dying.
I WINZ!!!
also, if you hold the ball for a total of 60 seconds, you win.
*trapdoor opens under Hobbs, flushing him into the discard pool*
Remember folks, ya can't win Calvinball!
*punts for ten tiddlywinks*
*ball explodes*
Curses! Fumbled again!
The ball circles Cosmo, who will never end Paizo, and returns to the field of honor. I catch it for Q points and knock it into the goal for M points.
Im rolling LEGOS and Goldfish!