Fun With Intelligent Items

[Ninjaxenomorph]

What things have you (or your GM) done with intelligent weapons? In PFS, I like doing things with my Magus's Black Blade. For example, he refuses to use magic oils on it, saying: "I can hear its thoughts. No, I am not rubbing it down; you do it."

[Yucale]

Well, my friend's DM once gave him a magic ironwood quarterstaff; it was enchanted with everything that didn't count on a quarterstaff (vorpal, keen...), sentient and would talk to everyone except him. Also it was jealous, refused to be lost and would knock away any other magic item he tried to keep. He simply referred to it as 'The Stick".

Yeah, the DM was sort a prick.

[Alitan]

It wasn't a weapon... it was a Portable Hole. That could crawl around, and had Rainbow Pattern to lure people into itself. It's Purpose was to Slay All. It would lure people in, shut itself, and suffocate them, chatting pleasantly all the while. Could use Gentle Repose, too, so it didn't have to deal with rot until it found someplace to spit its victims out. Nasty little neutral/evil thing.

It ended up joining forces with a guy who had a Necklace of Adaptation, mostly because it was impressed it couldn't kill him (and they were compatible personalities... he was a nasty little neutral/evil thing, too).

Had ranks in Knowledge/History, which it would use to regale anybody in range with tales of mass murder and atrocity...

Was kinda fun, though not something you'd want to turn your back on...

[LazarX]

The only time I use intelligent weapons are when they're a central macguffin in a campaign arc. Once their purpose is served, I take them away, Moorcock style.

[Matrixryu]

I was running one campaign where one of my players decided to play an incredibly unwise gnome. The character was always getting into trouble, so eventually I had the idea of giving him an intelligent ring that complemented his bard class, but was also much wiser than he was. We named it the Ring of Better Judgement.

There was at least one occasion where he was about to go and do something really stupid/silly, and the player actually reminded me about the ring. This lead to him having to make a will save vs the ring's ego, which he lost... leading to him doing something much less foolish. ;)

[Blueluck]

I was in a campaign once where a low-level player found an intelligent Sphere of Annihilation. It followed him around whispering things like, "Feed me" and "Annihilate". It was creepy.

After a while he found a high-level wizard to keep it for him.

[Kthulhu]

Blueluck wrote:

I was in a campaign once where a low-level player found an intelligent Sphere of Annihilation. It followed him around whispering things like, "Feed me" and "Annihilate". It was creepy.

After a while he found a high-level wizard to keep it for him.

Ever met the Umbral Blot / Blackball? It's a monster that's essentially that...although I don't remember them ever actually communicating.

[Dabbler]

All I can say is...The Ring of Manfred the Sage. Had it once and by the gods did it cause some headaches and frustration...

Spoiler:

This was first carried in a copy of White Dwarf in the late 70's/early 80's, back when Games Workshop was an RPG game importer and not the vile corporate abomination they have since become. The ring contained the essence of Manfred, a powerful sage who transferred his life into the ring on his deathbed. The ring can grant three wishes per day (yes, you read that right)...but (or there has to be a 'but') while Manfred is not malevolent he is somewhat deaf and never pays attention. Hence, careful phrasing leads only to confusion, and clear and precise requests are often mis-heard and misunderstood.

Badly.

[Xexyz]

As long as we're talking about intellegent items I have a small pickle regarding the magus in my game. He's a bladebound magus who pretty much immediately upon getting his black blade started treating it like it's Googleblade:

-Whenever we're fighting something the asks his black blade if it knows what type of creature it is and what its weaknesses are.
-Whenever the party hears the name of a person he asks his black blade if it knows who that person is.
-Basically, whenever he fails a knowledge check or doesn't get a high roll he asks his black blade if it has the knowledge he seeks.

This is driving me crazy. Unfortunately the magus is low level so there's no way the blade will succeed on an Ego check, but I'm considering having it intentionally mislead him. Thoughts?

[Charberus]

#Have the Google blade be like google then. Have it mention ads for some shops or items. Example: 'enlarge person for 10gp less at Mark's Discount Alchemy.' Maybe have it give answers to creatures and people that might be more popular for a blade to give (like "do you mean Johnny the blacksmith?"). Mostly physical stats or abilites based off melee. It would suggest stabbing a earth elemental really hard because it has DR. Or, mention that rust monsters are fearsome beast that should be avoided at all times.

#In an second edition game, I had an intelligent magic dagger that would cast illusion spells to help me survive (I was new to the game then). I had alot of fun, and realized that it had seemingly unlimited illusion spells. So, i would convince it to play tricks on npcs and monsters.
Eventually the DM liked the idea, and had it start playing illusion tricks on us. In fact, we had alot of random monster encounters that were nothing but illusions. We had a few villians that kept escaping our capture, so we thought it was one of them. After our group started being paranoid and trying to disbelieve illusions at the beginning of every fight, the DM had the blade tell the group that it was causing the illusions because it didn't like being used like that. We did what it said, but we were still paranoid at times, thinking it was acting up again.

[threemilechild]

Xexyz wrote:

He's a bladebound magus who pretty much immediately upon getting his black blade started treating it like it's Googleblade:

Knowledge checks are trained only. Blackblades only get skill points in Knowledge Arcana (when they get 12 Int). So the blade can only help identify things knowable with that skill (ancient mysteries, magic traditions, arcane symbols, constructs, dragons, magical beasts). That said, that IS part of the benefit of having a sentient item that might give you all sorts of trouble, so having it mislead him should be considered carefully, imo, and pretty much should only happen if its loyalty is somehow compromised. (Ie, that could be a hint that the sword is shortly going to betray its master terribly.)

Incidentally, familiars work the same way, except that since they get their masters' skill points, they can help out with any knowledge skill their master has. (And, if they're a mid to high level sorcerer's familiar, they're likely smarter than their master and therefore more likely to know something!) Familiars as a source of hidden knowledge is a common enough trope the witch class is based on it.

If you feel his wanting to know what his black blade knows slows down the game, tell him that when he rolls a Knowledge Arcana check, to roll for both himself and the blade at the same time and only tell you the higher number. Possibly in conjunction with a house rule that the black blade can only assist, not make skill checks of its own. (Ditto on spot checks, unless the player is asleep.)