It's a wonder anyone wins the Regatta at all. [Spoilers]


Skull & Shackles


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I misread the rules to hilarious results. Tem points out my mistake below, but I refuse to delete the epic of the +60 Stormbound Hazard chart race because I wasted time on it.

Misconception!:
Okay. I'm having a serious laugh over the Stormbound Hazards. There's no contest as to why a druid is the only winner of this race every year.

For those not in the know, when the party hits the Eye of Abendego they must contest against three randomly-determined Stormbound Hazards, rolled by the GM on a 1d100 dice. The PCs make a Profession (sailor) check in return, subtracting their total from the 1d100 dice. Because the party is sailing through the Eye of Abendego, the 1d100 dice is modified with a +60. If the modified result, added to by the proximity to the Eye of Abendego and subtracted to by the PCs Profession (sailor) check is more than 100, the PCs ship begins to immediately sink. The only way to stop a ship from sinking is to cast the spell make whole, which I assume many pirate crews will not have access to.

I've found that this race is extremely difficult to complete due to the capricious nature of the dice during these three rolls, any of which can instantly kill your entire party. After doing some trial runs, I thought it was really funny in a dry way, so here's last year's Free Captain's Regatta for your viewing pleasure. *This needs no house rules, by the way, because the PCs have Sandara Quinn on their ship, which means their ship can never be sunk by a Serious Hull Breach hazard-- she probably prepares at least two make whole a day, and starts the campaign able to cast that.*

Assuming every ship is captained and piloted by the CR 11 Pirate Captain from the GMG, this gives every crew +21 to Profession (sailor) and will be used uniformly.

For maximum humor, I've ruled that without a ship, the ship sails forwards without a Profession (sailor) check to subtract. My ultimate joy would be to have a boat finish the race without a crew, and is the victory condition of this exercise. An empty boat could finish the last three events in the race-- it will more than likely have a small chunk of hp missing from running into reefs, its sails will be on fire and it will have a cadre of lightning elementals living on it, but it'll finish.

So... without further delay, the Free Captain's Regatta.

Albatross - 1d100 + 60 ⇒ (4) + 60 = 64... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (18) + 21 = 39 = 80.
1d100 + 60 ⇒ (95) + 60 = 155... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (16) + 21 = 37 = 122.
The albatross pierced the Eye of Abendego. A split second, all of their treasure washed overboard and then their ship instantly sunk.

Barnacled B~~!# - 1d100 + 60 ⇒ (68) + 60 = 128... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (18) + 21 = 39 = 30
1d100 + 60 ⇒ (98) + 60 = 158... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (7) + 21 = 28 = 110
The Barnacled Censor's deck became slippery for just a split second before their ship instantly sunk.

Bonny Witch - 1d100 + 60 ⇒ (51) + 60 = 111... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (13) + 21 = 34 = 109
The Bonny Witch hit the hurricane's exterior and instantly sunk.

Chimaera's Teeth - 1d100 + 60 ⇒ (98) + 60 = 158... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (18) + 21 = 39 = 91
1d20 + 30 ⇒ (13) + 30 = 43 vs flat-footed (assuming the entire crew is comprised of 15 CR 1/2 Shipmates from the GMG lead by four CR 11 Pirate Captains from the GMG, they're all on deck and the maximum width of the ship is 25 feet) CMD of 26 and 13.
1d100 + 60 ⇒ (31) + 60 = 91 = 70
1d100 + 60 ⇒ (94) + 60 = 154 = 97 = two hazards
1d100 + 60 ⇒ (78) + 60 = 138, 1d100 + 60 ⇒ (7) + 60 = 67
Every member of the Chimaera was swept off the ship as it dove underwater for several seconds, followed by their cargo, and then their recently-ghosted ship was plowed into by a mass of floating treasure, sinking it.

Darcy's Pillage - 1d100 + 60 ⇒ (87) + 60 = 147... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (12) + 21 = 33
1d100 + 60 ⇒ (26) + 60 = 86... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (11) + 21 = 32
Darcy's Pillage lost its only lifeboat just seconds before it instantly sunk.

Kelizandri's Favor - 1d100 + 60 ⇒ (95) + 60 = 155... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (20) + 21 = 41
Kelizandri's Favor smashed into the lifeboard of the Darcy's Pillage and instantly sunk.

Pharasma's Price - 1d100 + 60 ⇒ (34) + 60 = 94... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (2) + 21 = 23 = 44
1d100 + 60 ⇒ (54) + 60 = 114... 1d20 + 21 - 10 ⇒ (18) + 21 - 10 = 29 = 73
1d100 + 60 ⇒ (6) + 60 = 66... 1d20 + 21 - 10 ⇒ (3) + 21 - 10 = 14 = 50
The Pharasma's Price's rudder jammed as its Captain, 1d100 ⇒ 37 Skerrit Scalesinger (fish charmer extraordinaire), desperately tried to avoid the massive ship-to-ship pileup that formed before him. The captain called out as his first mate, 1d100 ⇒ 19 Saladin Greel, teetered over the edge of the sea, the ship taking dangerous spins, uncontrolled. 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 5 = 6 = fail. As the Captain looked on, Saladin cried out in fury, "This is Pharasma's priiiice!" and leapt from the ship into the hungry waves. He was taken by the storm, most deckhands dangerously falling prone before they exited the eye.

Promise's Bounty - 1d100 + 60 ⇒ (98) + 60 = 158... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (19) + 21 = 40 = 58
1d100 + 60 ⇒ (24) + 60 = 84... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (6) + 21 = 27 = 95, two hazards
1d100 + 60 ⇒ (82) + 60 = 142... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (2) + 21 = 23, 1d100 + 60 ⇒ (71) + 60 = 131... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (2) + 21 = 23
The Promise's Bounty eyed the Pharasma's Price as it made the dangerous run. As if the ship itself was spurring its crew on to glory, the rigging came loose and began to lash them. Legends say that, as the Promise's Bounty ran aground on Saladin Greel's flailing corpse and instantly sunk, the ship itself lashed its infernal crew until the mast lowered beneath the tempestuous waves.

Redcap - 1d100 + 60 ⇒ (67) + 60 = 127... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (2) + 21 = 23 76
1d100 + 60 ⇒ (53) + 60 = 113... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (19) + 21 = 40 = 64
1d100 + 60 ⇒ (80) + 60 = 140... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (13) + 21 = 34 = 90
1d4 ⇒ 3 rounds of being on its side. Reflex DC 22 or fall overboard.
Round 1:
1d20 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2
1d20 + 1 ⇒ (15) + 1 = 16
1d20 + 1 ⇒ (9) + 1 = 10
1d20 + 1 ⇒ (6) + 1 = 7
1d20 + 1 ⇒ (14) + 1 = 15
1d20 + 1 ⇒ (19) + 1 = 20
1d20 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4
1d20 + 1 ⇒ (6) + 1 = 7
1d20 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4
1d20 + 1 ⇒ (7) + 1 = 8
1d20 + 1 ⇒ (10) + 1 = 11
1d20 + 1 ⇒ (20) + 1 = 21
1d20 + 1 ⇒ (14) + 1 = 15
1d20 + 1 ⇒ (14) + 1 = 15
1d20 + 1 ⇒ (8) + 1 = 9
1d20 + 1 ⇒ (7) + 1 = 8
1d20 + 5 ⇒ (5) + 5 = 10
1d20 + 5 ⇒ (4) + 5 = 9
1d20 + 5 ⇒ (18) + 5 = 23
1d20 + 5 ⇒ (19) + 5 = 24
Round 2:
1d20 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2
1d20 + 5 ⇒ (7) + 5 = 12
1d20 + 5 ⇒ (6) + 5 = 11
Springing minor leaks, a crippling wind blowing against the tide and slowing the ship, the Redcap barely had the time to flip onto its side and deposit its entire crew into the ocean, like an animal tired of being ridden. The empty ship exited the Eye of Abendego and careened into the finish line by accident. *victory condition achieved*

Sea's Largess - 1d100 + 60 ⇒ (48) + 60 = 108... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (17) + 21 = 38 = 93
1d20 + 30 ⇒ (8) + 30 = 38
1d100 + 60 ⇒ (51) + 60 = 111 = 120
The Sea's Largess was struck from stern, suddenly, and every member was smashed overboard into the relentless waves. Uncontrolled, the Sea's Largess punctured its hull on the crew of the Redcap, and sunk instantly.

Skullduggery 1d100 + 60 ⇒ (53) + 60 = 113... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (15) + 21 = 36 = 82
1d100 + 60 ⇒ (96) + 60 = 156... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (17) + 21 = 38 = 63
1d100 + 60 ⇒ (30) + 60 = 90... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (8) + 21 = 29 = 116
The Skullduggery lost its lifeboat, and the Captain, 1d100 ⇒ 19 Samdin Garah, began to cry, knowing what was next. The ship rose up on a massive wave, the wind turning against them as it had everyone else, and then flopped itself down on its own lifeboat in a sudden spur of suicidal compulsion. It sunk instantly.

Stormrunner 1d100 + 60 ⇒ (16) + 60 = 76... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (2) + 21 = 23 = 112
The Stormrunner entered the Eye of Abendego and sunk instantly on the crew of the Sea's Largess.

Sullied Strumpet 1d100 + 60 ⇒ (57) + 60 = 117... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (18) + 21 = 39 = 73
1d100 + 60 ⇒ (55) + 60 = 115... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (5) + 21 = 26 = 71
1d100 + 60 ⇒ (8) + 60 = 68... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (20) + 21 = 41 = 105
Captain 1d100 ⇒ 82 Dask of the Sullied Strumpet could only watch in horror as his prized statue of Merisiel was swept overboard, smashing into his first mate 1d100 ⇒ 96 Sing-Song Sane and slipping him overboard along with it. Unable to comprehend what had just happened, the Sullied Strumpet ran aground on the shipwrecks of eleven-plus ships and instantly sunk.

Wave Wraith 1d100 + 60 ⇒ (58) + 60 = 118... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (11) + 21 = 32 = 40
1d100 + 60 ⇒ (21) + 60 = 81... 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (7) + 21 = 28 = 108
The Wave Wraith lost its anchor to a massive, heavy stone object before slamming into an old sailor singing a sea shanty as he bobbed in the tide. The Wave Wraith instantly sunk.

Current Standings:
Pharasma's Price - 1st
Redcap - 2nd
Albatross - sunk
Barnacled B*@$& - sunk
Bonny Witch - sunk
Chimaera's Teeth - sunk
Darcy's Pillage - sunk
Kelizandri's Favor - sunk
Promise's Bounty - sunk
Sea's Largess - sunk
Skullduggery - sunk
Stormrunner - sunk
Sullied Strumpet - sunk
Wave Wraith - sunk

Shadow Lodge

*golf clap*


As amusing as your interpretation is, the +60 applies to the random weather roll, not the stormbound hazard roll as explained on page 72. Even if the random weather turns out to be tornado force (by rolling 40+ on d% when inside the outer rim of the eye), you only add +15 to the stormbound hazard roll.

If, using your assumption that pirate captains get a +21 on their prof(sailor) checks, it's actually *impossible* for the ship to start sinking immediately (the modified roll would be d%-d20-6 which is at most 93).


Tem wrote:

As amusing as your interpretation is, the +60 applies to the random weather roll, not the stormbound hazard roll as explained on page 72. Even if the random weather turns out to be tornado force (by rolling 40+ on d% when inside the outer rim of the eye), you only add +15 to the stormbound hazard roll.

If, using your assumption that pirate captains get a +21 on their prof(sailor) checks, it's actually *impossible* for the ship to start sinking immediately (the modified roll would be d%-d20-6 which is at most 93).

Thanks for pointing that out, actually. I ignored the weather rules, jumped into Stormbound Hazards and then jumped back to the previous page, where I assumed +60 was part of being near to the Eye as weather and then rolled on through.

An entertaining way to waste some time, though.


Ice Titan wrote:
Tem wrote:

As amusing as your interpretation is, the +60 applies to the random weather roll, not the stormbound hazard roll as explained on page 72. Even if the random weather turns out to be tornado force (by rolling 40+ on d% when inside the outer rim of the eye), you only add +15 to the stormbound hazard roll.

If, using your assumption that pirate captains get a +21 on their prof(sailor) checks, it's actually *impossible* for the ship to start sinking immediately (the modified roll would be d%-d20-6 which is at most 93).

Thanks for pointing that out, actually. I ignored the weather rules, jumped into Stormbound Hazards and then jumped back to the previous page, where I assumed +60 was part of being near to the Eye as weather and then rolled on through.

An entertaining way to waste some time, though.

Since you put so much work into it, why don't you just redo the results of the race by subtracting 45 from all the rolls? (+15 instead of +60)

I'd love to see the results of such a complete simulation of the race.


It'd make a hell of a session though...


Pathfinder Card Game Subscriber

I laughed so hard when I read this. Oh man... my smile muscles hurt now.

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