The LGBT Gamer Community Thread.


Gamer Life General Discussion

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Silver Crusade

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Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Good luck Vixie!

*channels positive feelings and offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants or needs some*


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VixieMoondew wrote:

Welp, today I find out "am I getting a raise??" and "how big of a raise???"

For the record, the answers to those questions should be "obviously" and "extra fat."

Good luck, Vixie.


Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

May the luck you have be awesome and appropriate, and amazing, Vixie!

Thank you very much, Teddy.

Hope everyone is having an awesome day, and if not, that it gets there.


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Soooooo turns out this wasn't my review but instead just a general catch-up thing??? The way it was phrased was misleading.

BUT all of the feedback was "you're great we love you keep doing what you're doing," so next month (when the review actually is) should look good for me.


Good luck, regardless. Go, Team Vixie!


GOOD LUCK VIXIE

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Go Vixie go!


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I'm being driven crazy by my tinnitus. It's been elevated because I have been living on campus, and even though the school's housing was aware of it.. and that it was necessary for me to not be in the building when they set fire alarms off.. they neglected to tell me so I could get out. The added distraction has affected my grades... and it is tough enough being a non-trad with several other disabilities... ugh...

Luckily they have let me out of my housing contract for next semester and have agreed to not charge me 2 grand in fees.... but that's not going to help me in the one of my current classes that I have no idea how well I will do on my last test..or my final. Statistics is a bad course to be distracted during. The others will all be Bs... much lower than I expected.. but still decent.

On the bright side I have been doing some volunteering as an anti-extremism consultant..

Soo... some bad.. and good....


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* gives Cthulhusquatch a hug *

Sending out my love to everyone.

* offers hugs to anyone else who wants or needs one, as well as two ears for listening, two shoulders to cry or lean on, a back to help carry your burdens, and friendly nods, high-fives, or thumbs-ups if that is what you prefer *

Silver Crusade

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Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

*hugs Cthulhusquatch*

*channels positive feelings and offers hugs to anyone and everyone else that wants or needs some*


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Thank you both. I could definitely use those two ears.. especially if they are quieter than my own. I hear my tinnitus over my truck engine it is so loud now.


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When I was a child I was sexually assaulted several times. I've spent my life trying to deal with it. The details aren't important here.

What I'm really struggling with is all of the revelations of past sexual harassment and assault of people that are just now coming forward. It's very difficult for me to deal with because of the flooding of memories and emotions.

The biggest issues I am struggling with are:

1. Those who are guilty, but are not going to be punished for their crimes. A powerful attorney is probably going to get away with sexually assaulting someone because they know how to avoid leaving evidence or at least in sowing doubt.

2. Those who are guilty, but there is no evidence so they can't be punished for their crimes. Touching someone over or under their clothes leaves no evidence.

3. Those who are blaming the victims/survivors for not coming forward when it happened. 30+ years ago, during the height of the AIDS scare it could be dangerous to come forward as gay even if you were the victim. A teen age girl is unlikely to have the strength, courage, and knowledge to come forth (societal conditioning, lack of experience, and brain still growing) is incredibly unlikely to come forward against a powerful (physically and/or charismatically) perpetrator.

4. Those who are sharing pictures of the victims/survivors without any regard for their emotional well being or safety. For example, sharing stories about women who wanted to remain unknown and end up being doxxed. Those women don't need us to share their images, work places, names, etc. in the name of justice. Also, once a surviver has accepted the apology of the perpetrator, sharing images of women who are being touched inappropriately while they are sleeping is a violation of her privacy and it shows that we aren't willing to accept the survivor's acceptance and the perpetrator's apology and it will only make it harder for people to accept that they were in the wrong and less likely to make amends.

I'm finding it really hard to deal with a lot of this.


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I'm sorry, but I have no advice to offer. But I share your anger. Every time I hear of a Teacher, Coach, Minister, etc harming or abusing those that trust them, I get so angry that I begin to contemplate violence. And, I know I shouldn't. There are some lines that should never be crossed, and harming children is one of them.


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So I'm probably going to be spending Thanksgiving as myself for the first time ever. I don't have any money to contribute to the dinner, and my friends said that it was perfectly fine. I just got really lucky and managed to get an almost full Thanksgiving spread for free!

The Buy Nothing Group that I'm in has a few people offering to those who are in need. Someone offered:

13 pound turkey
Ms Smith's Pumpkin Pie (not gluten free)
Crispy Onions (contains Wheat)
2 packages of sugar cookie mix
Creamy Mash (gluten free)
Cut Sweet Potatoes (canned, gluten free)
2 Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup
4 cans of Cut Green Beans

Someone else is making homemade cranberry sauce and is going to be donating it. From her post, she's trying to make enough so that everyone who said they were interested could get a jar.

Another member was gifted the dinner, but then he saw that I was in need and drove it over to me so that I could have it. I never asked him to. He sent me a message and offered. He and I don't get along well all the time, but he's a good guy and I am very grateful for people like him. Just goes to show that you don't have to get along with people perfectly to still do nice things.

Remember to always pay it forward. Good things will come to you even when you don't think so. I know that I don't always think so, but this is one of those times when I love being proven wrong.


Hugs all around


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Glad for you, Cindy!

As for Bob, I've been hearing that from other victims. Definitely hard to be potentially reminded of it every day. It's good that we're finally getting to a point where people are coming forward about this, but it'd be good if it was easier to filter it out if we need to.


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plops down with a sign that reads:
Fred's Services
- Big Fluffy Bear Hugs - Free
- Ears for Listening - Free
- Shoulder to cry on - Free
- Back to help carry your burdens - Free
- Friendly Nods - Free
- Hearty Handshakes - Free
- High Fives - Free
- Thumbs Up - Free
* Special End of the Year Deal - Buy One Service, Get Two Free *

Always remember - no matter where you are you have a friend in Hartford, WI. Stay awesome and always be yourselves.


Uncle Teddy's Bear, Fred wrote:
Always remember - no matter where you are you have a friend in Hartford, WI. Stay awesome and always be yourselves.

Wait-- Hartford, really? I'm from Horicon! (I don't live there anymore, though!)


VixieMoondew wrote:
Uncle Teddy's Bear, Fred wrote:
Always remember - no matter where you are you have a friend in Hartford, WI. Stay awesome and always be yourselves.
Wait-- Hartford, really? I'm from Horicon! (I don't live there anymore, though!)

Horicon? Nice.

Grew up in Campbellsport.

Cheeseheads represent!


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VixieMoondew wrote:

Glad for you, Cindy!

As for Bob, I've been hearing that from other victims. Definitely hard to be potentially reminded of it every day. It's good that we're finally getting to a point where people are coming forward about this, but it'd be good if it was easier to filter it out if we need to.

What I'm finding really difficult about it is that when I try to talk about it, I'm told that this is not about men. It's about women being victims/survivors. Men will have to wait. Seriously, that's exactly what I've been told.

I tried to argue that this is something that men should definitely be a part of because when we stifle the men, we are telling them that they need to toughen up because they are the stronger sex. This leads to them being conditioned to exercising their strength because it's the expectation. Then those men end up continuing the cycle of abuse.

In other words, I firmly believe that when we cut men out of the conversation, we are endangering women in the long run.


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Bob_Loblaw wrote:
VixieMoondew wrote:

Glad for you, Cindy!

As for Bob, I've been hearing that from other victims. Definitely hard to be potentially reminded of it every day. It's good that we're finally getting to a point where people are coming forward about this, but it'd be good if it was easier to filter it out if we need to.

What I'm finding really difficult about it is that when I try to talk about it, I'm told that this is not about men. It's about women being victims/survivors. Men will have to wait. Seriously, that's exactly what I've been told.

I tried to argue that this is something that men should definitely be a part of because when we stifle the men, we are telling them that they need to toughen up because they are the stronger sex. This leads to them being conditioned to exercising their strength because it's the expectation. Then those men end up continuing the cycle of abuse.

In other words, I firmly believe that when we cut men out of the conversation, we are endangering women in the long run.

Hwhaaahhh??? Victims are victims. And at least one of the big high-profile cases right now was a man victimizing a man. Grumblemumble.

And Fred: I went to high school in Lomira! Iiiiit's a smalll world aaaafter allllll~

But then I got the hell out of Dodge (County).

Scarab Sages

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VixieMoondew wrote:


Hwhaaahhh??? Victims are victims. And at least one of the big high-profile cases right now was a man victimizing a man. Grumblemumble.

It is a sad truth. I have heard the same within the #metoo 'movement'. Men were kindly asked to leave this as a place fro women to talk about their experiences. since this came up here I will repeat what I posted in another place:

Yes, sexual abuse is mainly happening to women and girls and there is absolutley no excuse and no questioning that our society needs to take big steps toward recognizing victims and their needsand stop putting blame on them as well as stop and convict(mainly male) offenders.

However: Please be kind enought to allow men to share their experiences of sexual abuse at this place. This is not to marginalize what you suffered through, nor to take anything away from you. But in my years of working at a victim-hotline I have talked to male victims who felt they had nowhere to turn.

Safe houses rejected them, victim-protection groups rejected them, no coverage of the problem of sexual abuse seemed to include them. I had to look for places they could turn with two co-workers - in the time that took, one of the callers attemted suicide.

Yes, the debate about sexism, sexual abuse of women and abuse of power is one of the most, perhaps even the most important debates to come up in recent years, but please share some of space that is needed to bring these terrible experiences to light with the men who suffered from the same terrible abuse you have.

Stay safe everyone.


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On the Dr. Oz show today, Todd Bridges, the child actor who played Willis in the 1980's family sitcom Diff'rent Strokes, detailed how he was repeatedly sexually abused by a pedophile at the age of 12. A completely agree with Vixie and Feytharn. Victims are victims, and this needs to stop.


Link to story.


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Intimidating victims also lets them get away with it so that needs to stop as well.


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The problem is in part with the system of 'innocent until proven guilty'.

Not in that the victims are wrong, but scuzzy and canny high-paid defense attorneys discovered YEARS ago the best way to ensure their clients never even get a whiff of consequences is by attacking the victims, discrediting them and burying the ones who are suffering the most under a sea of paperwork and intimidation.

Most folks want to move on. Some want to see justice, but they also want to *forget*. And that's a big problem, because we're preconditioned socially to 'forgive and forget'.

...when in reality attackers SHOULD be brought out... not as much for punishment but so they can be treated and reformed into individuals who do not promote the cycle of abuse, but actively strive against it.

A lot of the stupid is because there's been no consequences. Hopefully this will change someday soon.


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doctor_wu wrote:
Intimidating victims also lets them get away with it so that needs to stop as well.

I agree with this, also, Doc.


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Hey everybody....sorry I have not been around and as supportive lately....and thank you all for the support you all have given me recently.

But hugs for everyone.

And I am really happy to see you back Cindy.


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Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

A community supports itself, or it is not a community.

Thank you for sharing the weight.

It may not feel like it, but it does help in both directions.


You're welcome, Wei Ji.


At 6:45, when I got home from Wal-Mart, I found my mother on the kitchen floor, probably from low blood sugar. Gave her some grapes to try to get her levels up.

The Exchange

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Finished training to be an official volunteer at my FL(LGBT)Center. Waiting for background check to clear. Another step out as well as stepping up to be a facilitator/speaker in the public eye. I just wish these resources and support were there way back when I was a child/teenager.

Thank you for all your myriad opinions, views and experiences. I, we are, no longer am alone. Never thought I'd be here much less this far along. Being part of the solution feels good.


John Napier 698 wrote:
At 6:45, when I got home from Wal-Mart, I found my mother on the kitchen floor, probably from low blood sugar. Gave her some grapes to try to get her levels up.

I hope all is ok.


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She's better now. She ate all the grapes I gave her and a bowl of stew. *sigh* The things that happen when I'm away. She took her afternoon Insulin and couldn't get her levels high enough to avoid "bottoming-out". She's not going to take her night dose. Thank you.

Silver Crusade

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Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

*channels positive feelings and offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants or needs some*


*Accepts hugs* Thanks, Rysky. Tired now. Going to bed soon. Today has been interesting (not in a good way) and not something I'd care to repeat anytime soon.


My dad does get quite cranky with low blood sugar and is quite a pain. Having him take his own blood sugar makes it hard for me to time meals for him.


My mother doesn't get cranky, she just gets "out-of-it", confused in her thinking.

Silver Crusade

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Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Hopefully this night is good and uneventful.

*channels positive feelings and offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants or needs some*


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Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

May this evening and tomorrow morning bring peace and serenity in a good way to those who seek it, and may any toxins acquired pass their way without incident; spiritually, mentally, or physically.


Feeling tired. Good night, everyone.


Good morning, everyone.

* offers big bear hugs, hearty handshakes, knowing nods, and thumbs up to anyone who wants one *

Sending out my love and good thoughts to all of you.


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Spent a good half of my weekend working emergency support. I'd grumble more, but it results in a bonus, so...


*Yawn* Mornin' Everyone. Huh? Emergency Support? Do you work in a Hospital, Vixie?


Nah, tech support. Had some issues over the weekend, so I got called in.


Oh, okay. Network or Hardware?


Software, actually! Either standalone or SaaS. Server went down this weekend unexpectedly and so our SaaS customers had a bunch of (admittedly valid) complaints.


Ouch. As a programmer myself, I sympathize.


I just lost my job because of all the medical problems and the FMLA being screwed up. So far I have never had an FMLA not be screwed up with any company I've worked for. 100% of the time they have screwed things up.

Let's sum things up:

1. Headaches and dizziness so debilitating that I sometimes can't function.
2. VA has taken 8 months to not figure it out, spacing my appointments apart by a month or more every time.
3. No income means I have to move out by the day after Thanksgiving.
4. I am supposed to move into a friend's spare bedroom. So I am losing 99% of everything I own.
5. I have not been let go from a job since 1987. I have left jobs, but never been termed without choosing to leave on my own.
6. Depression is so out of control that I can hardly function.
7. I have to give up almost all of myself through this. I will have virtually nothing of my identity.
8. My family has yet to contact me about any of these things. Not a single one has reached out to me in any way. No phone calls. No text messages. No Facebook messages. No emails. No knock on my door. No hand-written letters. Nothing at all.

People keep telling me to cheer up. I don't even know how anymore.


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Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories, Pawns, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

So so sorry to hear that.

I've had to give up on my family of origin. My family of choice treats me like a human being, so I look to them for support.

As someone once said to me: "Why do you keep going to the hardware store to get milk?"

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