The LGBT Gamer Community Thread.


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VixieMoondew wrote:


That said, I've recently ventured out into Society play, but my voice is an issue (and I wasn't given prior warning the first time I went), so I've just been presenting as a cis male when we go since I don't have time to make myself presentable. :/ Easier than explaining... but I'm worried about coming across as "that guy at the table who always plays lesbians."

First off, congratulations for making a bold step, and I wouldn't worry so much about that as the following:

Playing over the years, I've noticed that it's not 'always plays lesbians' that is the grating part as much as the playstyle that stridently insists that EVERYONE MUST ACCEPT MY CHARACTER'S SEXUALITY NO EXCEPTIONS!.

I have a few characters that have been either in-transition, fluid, or have had other backgrounds.

The trick for the best roleplay (especially in a time-controlled environment such as a convention) that I've found is to only bring it up (gently) if it feels like it might be relevant, and otherwise leave it as personal background.

ie, if one is playing a character on Golarion, there isn't the same social stigma on folks who have a non-cisgender/alternate sexuality background. So a brief note in passing sometimes does a lot more help to immersion than a 'in every encounter, I must INSIST THAT THIS BE TREATED THIS WAY'.

e.g. "My wife is home with the kids while I'm out adventuring. She got to go on the last mission for the Society, so it's my turn now." (IF it comes up and is relevant).

VS.

"ARE THEY WOMEN? I WANNA DO 'EM!"

...and yes, I've seen that latter example as often as the first.

This is PART of the reason I enjoy playing PFS, and part of the reason that some other campaigns have been not-so-great.

May the morning bring insight, clarity, and focus to all if that is desired.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber
VixieMoondew wrote:

Between myself and my wife, we make up a BLT! She gets the best part, I'm Lettuce and Tomato.

It's not a problem within my group, but then again, my "group" consists of myself, my wife, and our two roomies, who are long-term friends who have been aware of my Tomato status for years.

That said, I've recently ventured out into Society play, but my voice is an issue (and I wasn't given prior warning the first time I went), so I've just been presenting as a cis male when we go since I don't have time to make myself presentable. :/ Easier than explaining... but I'm worried about coming across as "that guy at the table who always plays lesbians."

:(

*offers hugs*

Silver Crusade

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Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

This

Wei Ji the Learner wrote:
Playing over the years, I've noticed that it's not 'always plays lesbians' that is the grating part as much as the playstyle that stridently insists that EVERYONE MUST ACCEPT MY CHARACTER'S SEXUALITY NO EXCEPTIONS!.
and this
Wei Ji the Learner wrote:
"ARE THEY WOMEN? I WANNA DO 'EM!"
are two completely separate things. A character's sexuality has absolutely nothing to do with how much they want to have sex.
Wei Ji the Learner wrote:
The trick for the best roleplay (especially in a time-controlled environment such as a convention) that I've found is to only bring it up (gently) if it feels like it might be relevant, and otherwise leave it as personal background.
The person can bring it up whenever they feel comfortable doing so, not just because of a time limit.
Wei Ji the Learner wrote:
ie, if one is playing a character on Golarion, there isn't the same social stigma on folks who have a non-cisgender/alternate sexuality background. So a brief note in passing sometimes does a lot more help to immersion than a 'in every encounter, I must INSIST THAT THIS BE TREATED THIS WAY

"alternate sexuality" are you serious? Immersion can stand aside if it means to the group that they don't want to treat LGBT people as, ya'know, people. That's their problem, not anyone's whose on the LGBT spectrum.


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Appreciate the hugs (and the mayo) <3


Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Rysky,

I've seen folks use try to use the one as a justification for the other, and then proceed to destroy a given scenario because they weren't given attention for it DESPITE the GM and the other players accepting it as a part of their character.

The problem is in how it is brought up, I imagine?

We don't have a very good framework for doing that in a social situation, and perhaps we need to build a truly inclusive one?

How does one depict 'my character is gay/cis/etc' by showing the thing rather than just saying a thing?

How does one present differing inclinations without disrupting a table?

I'd rather see my fellow players treated as people, period, not as 'people who are *DIFFERENT*'.

If we define by exclusion, then the exclusion will always be there?

EDIT: Truth-in-Text, I have no clue here save personal experience and I'm trying to learn.

Silver Crusade

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Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

Then that's a problem with the player.

Quote:
How does one depict 'my character is gay/cis/etc' by showing the thing rather than just saying a thing?

The same way you depict any straight and cis person.

Quote:
How does one present differing inclinations without disrupting a table?

How is playing a lesbian who is horny more disruptive than playing a straight dood that's horny?

What you're posting is being exclusive though, whether you realize that or not, by stating that LGBT characters have to act a certain way or only be themselves under certain time frames.


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Rysky wrote:


What you're posting is being exclusive though, whether you realize that or not, by stating that LGBT characters have to act a certain way or only be themselves under certain time frames.

Thank you for the education.

Liberty's Edge

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Pathfinder Companion Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

The few times when I played PFS, no mention was made that clarified any PC's orientation.

I believe that the majority of players will assume cis and straight without thinking

To express that your character is not cis and straight, you then need to say things that show the difference

What I would personally dislike would be if it felt like a disrespectful caricature of that difference


Pathfinder Adventure Subscriber

*probably shows his age* Plaid shirts.


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Kajehase wrote:
*probably shows his age* Plaid shirts.

Obviously she wears flannel padded armor. Her mule's name is Subaru.


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I think this is what I was trying to type earlier and failing miserably at.

Caricatures are painful and hurtful, especially when they're done so maliciously and with full intent to cause pain.


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I just got back from running an errand for my mother, and I'm exhausted. I don't know if my lethargy is related to my tumor, or if it's something else. I'll go sleep for a couple hours. See everyone later.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Manager

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Removed a post, "What I would personally dislike would be if it felt like a disrespectful caricature of that difference" is not an invitation to start posting what a disrespectful RPG character caricature would look like.


VixieMoondew wrote:
Kajehase wrote:
*probably shows his age* Plaid shirts.
Obviously she wears flannel padded armor. Her mule's name is Subaru.

I end up wondering if I want to understand this. I wish I saw quilted cloth get used more. Does she worship zohls?

Also My grandma ended up giving me her Subaru and I quite like it drove it to play pfs last week.


My apologies if my post offended; definitely tried to stick to the lighter, more "harmless" side of the stereotypes :P

Doc Wu, I'm not even sure what zohls is, actually!


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Good morning, everyone.


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Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Good morning!

May the morning bring insight, clarity, and focus to all if that is desired.


Good morning! Feeling any better, John?


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My eyesight isn't worse, so that's a plus. Got the number for the Benefits ( HAH! ) Hotline for my employer. So, in a little while, I'm going to go argue with a brick wall about my Health Insurance, or lack thereof. Everyone, please wish me luck.

Scarab Sages

John Napier 698 wrote:
My eyesight isn't worse, so that's a plus. Got the number for the Benefits ( HAH! ) Hotline for my employer. So, in a little while, I'm going to go argue with a brick wall about my Health Insurance, or lack thereof. Everyone, please wish me luck.

May your luck be like a sturdy pick!


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So that I don't "fly off the handle?"

Silver Crusade

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Yeah, good luck John!

*channels positive feelings and offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants or needs some*


May you have a solid ram to go at that brick wall, John.


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Thanks, Rysky.


Thanks, Klorox.


VixieMoondew wrote:

My apologies if my post offended; definitely tried to stick to the lighter, more "harmless" side of the stereotypes :P

Doc Wu, I'm not even sure what zohls is, actually!

Zohls

Scarab Sages

John Napier 698 wrote:
So that I don't "fly off the handle?"

So you get through that brick wall :-D


John Napier 698 wrote:
VixieMoondew wrote:

My apologies if my post offended; definitely tried to stick to the lighter, more "harmless" side of the stereotypes :P

Doc Wu, I'm not even sure what zohls is, actually!

Zohls

Ah, thank you. Google refused to show me anything but Kohl's, and while I do like some of their dresses...

She seems neat!


No problem. Anytime. :)

Silver Crusade RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32

John Napier 698 wrote:
So that I don't "fly off the handle?"

Like Buddy Rich?


mechaPoet wrote:
John Napier 698 wrote:
So that I don't "fly off the handle?"
Like Buddy Rich?

Hey, don't try to sabotage the guy...


VixieMoondew wrote:

My apologies if my post offended; definitely tried to stick to the lighter, more "harmless" side of the stereotypes :P

Doc Wu, I'm not even sure what zohls is, actually!

Yeah Pathfinder wiki page on zohls.

Should have read down when John linked it earlier.


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VixieMoondew wrote:

Between myself and my wife, we make up a BLT! She gets the best part, I'm Lettuce and Tomato.

It's not a problem within my group, but then again, my "group" consists of myself, my wife, and our two roomies, who are long-term friends who have been aware of my Tomato status for years.

That said, I've recently ventured out into Society play, but my voice is an issue (and I wasn't given prior warning the first time I went), so I've just been presenting as a cis male when we go since I don't have time to make myself presentable. :/ Easier than explaining... but I'm worried about coming across as "that guy at the table who always plays lesbians."

Yeah I was getting the reputation as "that guy at the table who always plays lesbians" with in my groups...which is part of the reason I came out to my groups. It worked out well.


John Napier 698 wrote:
My eyesight isn't worse, so that's a plus. Got the number for the Benefits ( HAH! ) Hotline for my employer. So, in a little while, I'm going to go argue with a brick wall about my Health Insurance, or lack thereof. Everyone, please wish me luck.

Good Luck, John! *hugs*

My recommendation is do not start off angry.


That was meant as a joke.


On the insurance front, it seems that the company switched providers a while back, and I simply fell through the cracks. Not a pleasant feeling.


And, I found out why I fell through the cracks. My employer sent me last year, in a plain envelope, a letter telling me that the providers were changing. For something this important, you'd think that they'd make the envelope stand out more. But no. *sigh* Not for the first time, I feel like I'm dealing with a bunch of oblivious "droids." Well, I now have a place to start from.


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Somehow, nobody ever falls through those cracks when it comes to money owed to the company-- but when it comes to services rendered, hoo boy.


VixieMoondew wrote:
Somehow, nobody ever falls through those cracks when it comes to money owed to the company-- but when it comes to services rendered, hoo boy.

*Looks about for Freehold* Just like an Event Horizon, but for money. Look out, Freehold DM really hates Mathematics, in any form.


Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
VixieMoondew wrote:
Somehow, nobody ever falls through those cracks when it comes to money owed to the company-- but when it comes to services rendered, hoo boy.

For years I'd been paying for dental at work, but had never really gone to the dentist or the like due to being traumatized by Naval dentistry, including waking up during a wisdom tooth removal procedure(!) and then I broke a tooth off at the gum-line.

There was immediate scrambling to work Benefits, who then gave me an address for a 'local' (within ten miles) dentist that could fit me in that afternoon, and an admonition to 'get the emergency taken care of, the benefits would be sorted out later'.

Thank goodness, because otherwise that broken tooth probably would have killed me, it was that far gone...

So hopefully common sense prevails.

Scarab Sages

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Sadly I overslept due to being sick and didn't watcht the parliaments session, it is done. German Bundestag voted for gay marriage - there might be some hurdles left, but a very important step is done :-)

Silver Crusade

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F%~% yeah! That's an awesome way to start a Friday!

*channels positive feelings and offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants or needs one*

The Exchange

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feytharn wrote:
Sadly I overslept due to being sick and didn't watcht the parliaments session, it is done. German Bundestag voted for gay marriage - there might be some hurdles left, but a very important step is done :-)

Even if i'm not a fan of marriage this was about time...


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John Napier 698 wrote:
VixieMoondew wrote:
Somehow, nobody ever falls through those cracks when it comes to money owed to the company-- but when it comes to services rendered, hoo boy.
*Looks about for Freehold* Just like an Event Horizon, but for money. Look out, Freehold DM really hates Mathematics, in any form.

crashes in through window, rolls then gets up wildly flailing anti math flail around

Math? Where?!


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Go Germany! Woohoo! swings party flail around


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A hearty congrats to Germany, and everyone who lives in it!


Congrats to Germany!

So I have a question...I was out at a department store and saw a lovely summer dress that I want. My question is how do I determine my dress size?


Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Selene Spires wrote:

Congrats to Germany!

So I have a question...I was out at a department store and saw a lovely summer dress that I want. My question is how do I determine my dress size?

This is a very good question, and I would love to learn of these time-honored techniques as well.

Also!

Good morning!

May the morning bring insight, clarity, and focus to all if that is desired.

Silver Crusade RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32

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Selene Spires wrote:

Congrats to Germany!

So I have a question...I was out at a department store and saw a lovely summer dress that I want. My question is how do I determine my dress size?

You can find tables and stuff online for converting your measurements into dress sizes. I know they can sometimes be site specific (because they're usually on sites that sell clothes), but the general ballpark should be close I would think. Also sometimes there are number sizes and sometimes just small/medium/large.

But also! Dress sizes can be wildly inconsistent depending on the brand. The best way is to determine if it's generally in your ballpark and try it on.

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