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Silver Crusade

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And also made it to another Friday.

*channels positive feelings and offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants or needs some*


*Accepts hugs* Thanks, Rysky. Needed one more today than any other in the recent past.


Moved in today! Excited for pride in a few weeks, and I start work on monday, so I'm excited. Now that I'm back in town I've been thinking of maybe finding a PFS game in the area but...i'm not really sure where to start haha. Especially with finding a group that won't misgender me :^)

Silver Crusade

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Yay!

And best of luck finding an awesome group!


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189birds wrote:
Especially with finding a group that won't misgender me :^)

I can't think of a better test for "Jerks I Want To Avoid Forever" than a group that tolerates misgendering.


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CrystalSeas wrote:
189birds wrote:
Especially with finding a group that won't misgender me :^)
I can't think of a better test for "Jerks I Want To Avoid Forever" than a group that tolerates misgendering.

I had a enby character in one of my adventures get frequently misgendered by a dude I eventually stopped inviting for mostly unrelated but similar reasons (he was also just a bad player in general, and I wonder if his complaints about his previous group were genuine or not...)

If you pull that kind of violence against fictional characters, I can't trust you to do it with real people and I'd rather not have you around :3


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So in case anyone is wondering what's going on in my medical saga I have really nothing to report.

I saw the audiologist and he ran a bunch of tests. He determined that it's not Meniere's disease, but had to send the results to another team so they could look it over. They meet on Monday and I should hear back by this coming Wednesday or the next. In the meantime, I have no income because I still can't work if I'm collapsing and dizzy.

I have managed to tick off a bunch of people lately as well. My frustration with the "share if you would help a vet" or "vets before refugees" or whatever stupid jingoistic meme is popular that day has peaked. The people who keep sharing and liking these things personally know a vet and the vast majority aren't doing anything at all. I'm not looking for them to donate. I know that it's not possible for everyone. They aren't sharing the fundraiser. They aren't checking in with me to see if I need anything or to see how I'm doing. It's beyond frustrating. They have a chance to actually do something to help and they aren't.

I really hate playing the veteran card because I don't think that I deserve more than others or that I'm better than others. I'm frustrated because they want to look like they are more patriotic than the liberals or conservatives, but the moment they need to put their money where their mouths are, they are on radio silence.

Sorry about the venting. I'm just tired of being a football for everyone's pet cause. LGBT, veterans, LGBT veterans, etc. We just need to start helping people and stop worrying about political points.


Cindy Robertson wrote:
Haladir wrote:

As a fortysomething cis white bi guy who's been happily and monogamously married to a woman for more than 20 years, I don't exactly feel welcomed by a small but vocal minority in the LGBTQ community, either. I've been accused of being a "tourist."

I will identify as bi when it comes up, but most people pretty much assume I'm straight because I blend into the patriarchy.

What pisses me off so much is that it's supposed to be inclusive. We should want to include ourselves and our allies. It doesn't feel that way at all. The more I look into the LGBT community, the more I realize that I don't belong.

What'(s supposed to be inclusive? I've been called an oppressor in sheep's clothing and worse because I wanted to support LGBTetc friends without actually being one of them (yes, I m a hetero cis gendered guy), and apparently I'm not allowed to stand with the different folk because doing so would be an intrusion of the patriarchy or something...


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Klorox wrote:
What'(s supposed to be inclusive? I've been called an oppressor in sheep's clothing and worse because I wanted to support LGBTetc friends without actually being one of them (yes, I m a hetero cis gendered guy), and apparently I'm not allowed to stand with the different folk because doing so would be an intrusion of the patriarchy or something...

You are the person who we should be welcoming. This is one of the things holding us back. When we find someone who is supportive, we push them away because they are now the outsider instead of us. It's not how it should be done. We should be doing everything we can to bring everyone together so that we can actually be equals. We don't have to self-segregate.


John Napier 698 wrote:
I know I have many friends on this thread, so I'll just come out and say it. I learned a short time ago that my landlord for the past year died suddenly in a drowning accident. It's unknown at this point whether my Mother and I will have to move, but I'll keep everyone posted.

I am sorry to hear about the news. *hugs*

Do you have a lease agreement? Those are not that easy to break.


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Things have been going okay with me...

I am getting my money situration back undercontrol...soon I will start being able to save again.

Other things have been slow going but I am still moving forward...a little.


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good news :) Go Selene !


Garbage-Tier Waifu wrote:
CrystalSeas wrote:
189birds wrote:
Especially with finding a group that won't misgender me :^)
I can't think of a better test for "Jerks I Want To Avoid Forever" than a group that tolerates misgendering.

I had a enby character in one of my adventures get frequently misgendered by a dude I eventually stopped inviting for mostly unrelated but similar reasons (he was also just a bad player in general, and I wonder if his complaints about his previous group were genuine or not...)

I was in a game where I made my gender clear on the first day and then got told it was an internet gender. (Then they proceeded to slut shame my bi character so...)


Selene Spires wrote:
John Napier 698 wrote:
I know I have many friends on this thread, so I'll just come out and say it. I learned a short time ago that my landlord for the past year died suddenly in a drowning accident. It's unknown at this point whether my Mother and I will have to move, but I'll keep everyone posted.

I am sorry to hear about the news. *hugs*

Do you have a lease agreement? Those are not that easy to break.

Yes, but it expired on the first. Rather inconvenient. But, we've been good tenants, never caused trouble, always paid the rent on time, etc. So we'd be a shoe-in for a renewal. Just have to wait until the dust settles. *accepts hugs*


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I feel like a bad member of the LGBT community and a bad liberal because I don't support people just because they are LGBT or liberal. I wish people would look at the actions rather than the label when deciding if someone deserves support.

Here's some examples:

1. I support Jenner as a trans woman. I do not support the way she has treated the community and the way she supported Trump. I do support her as she's realizing that there really are a lot of problems that the non-celebrity community has to deal with, especially with marriage (legal or not, it's still an issue for some).

2. I do not support Griffin for her image of Trump's severed head. That was an image that his child would end up seeing. If she's willing to explain to an 11-year old why it's funny that his father's severed head is covered in blood, I might be more willing to give her some leeway. However, she was aware that this would be a problem. I don't care how much of an ally she is to the community. What she did was wrong. When it happened to Obama it was wrong. It should have wrong when it happens to Trump - for the same reasons.

3. Manning gave away classified information and was sentenced for the crime. She was Bradley beforehand so her sentence had nothing at all to do with her being transgender. She should have been punished. Yes, the sentence was excessively long. Yes, she was treated horribly in prison. Yes, those should both have been addressed. No, I don't think that she should be forgiven just because she's transgender.


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Bob_Loblaw wrote:
Klorox wrote:
What'(s supposed to be inclusive? I've been called an oppressor in sheep's clothing and worse because I wanted to support LGBTetc friends without actually being one of them (yes, I m a hetero cis gendered guy), and apparently I'm not allowed to stand with the different folk because doing so would be an intrusion of the patriarchy or something...
You are the person who we should be welcoming. This is one of the things holding us back. When we find someone who is supportive, we push them away because they are now the outsider instead of us. It's not how it should be done. We should be doing everything we can to bring everyone together so that we can actually be equals. We don't have to self-segregate.

Well said, Bob. I personally know, and work with through Tekko, three transwomen, and one who used to work for the convention. We all get along well there. Why? Because I treat people like people. After all, are we not all Human beings?

Furthermore, it could be argued that I'm far worse. I'm a nearly 50 year old Otaku with 230+ titles of Anime, and I play / GM D&D / Pathfinder. Go figure. :)


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"There's crazy Uncle John. Don't talk about Anime or D&D around him. He'll never shut up." :) :D


Bob_Loblaw wrote:
Klorox wrote:
What'(s supposed to be inclusive? I've been called an oppressor in sheep's clothing and worse because I wanted to support LGBTetc friends without actually being one of them (yes, I m a hetero cis gendered guy), and apparently I'm not allowed to stand with the different folk because doing so would be an intrusion of the patriarchy or something...
You are the person who we should be welcoming. This is one of the things holding us back. When we find someone who is supportive, we push them away because they are now the outsider instead of us. It's not how it should be done. We should be doing everything we can to bring everyone together so that we can actually be equals. We don't have to self-segregate.

Thanks Bob


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At my last job I worked with several trans men and women. Because I work in the pharmacy, it made a difference with the medications sometimes and with billing their insurance, otherwise they were just my friends and coworkers. It took me a little bit to stop calling people my gay friend, my lesbian friend, my trans friend. I dropped the adjective and just called them my friend. It really has helped me feel a bit better about myself and I'm sure it helps them feel better about themselves.


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I don't use adjectives when talking about my friends, either.


And, speaking of D&D, I managed to get PDFs of the most recent re-releases of the AD&D books bundled at a heavily discounted price from the distributor. :)


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Hey everybody :)

I've had this feeling of discomfort with the term ally for a while and calling people allies, I was wondering if anyone else has ever felt that way?

For context I myself am a gay guy.

The Exchange

UGH. Was going to head to Ferndale Pride in all my finery, but called into work. Sadly the type of work which requires a suit and tie due to visibility. Quite the opposite end of the gendered clothing spectrum.


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Chromantic Durgon <3 wrote:

Hey everybody :)

I've had this feeling of discomfort with the term ally for a while and calling people allies, I was wondering if anyone else has ever felt that way?

For context I myself am a gay guy.

I Hate the term myself. Primarily because I have played all manner of role-playing games over the years with somewhat...morally flexible people, and to me the term "ally" means "meat shield".


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John Napier 698 wrote:
Bob_Loblaw wrote:
Klorox wrote:
What'(s supposed to be inclusive? I've been called an oppressor in sheep's clothing and worse because I wanted to support LGBTetc friends without actually being one of them (yes, I m a hetero cis gendered guy), and apparently I'm not allowed to stand with the different folk because doing so would be an intrusion of the patriarchy or something...
You are the person who we should be welcoming. This is one of the things holding us back. When we find someone who is supportive, we push them away because they are now the outsider instead of us. It's not how it should be done. We should be doing everything we can to bring everyone together so that we can actually be equals. We don't have to self-segregate.

Well said, Bob. I personally know, and work with through Tekko, three transwomen, and one who used to work for the convention. We all get along well there. Why? Because I treat people like people. After all, are we not all Human beings?

Furthermore, it could be argued that I'm far worse. I'm a nearly 50 year old Otaku with 230+ titles of Anime, and I play / GM D&D / Pathfinder. Go figure. :)

OTAKU WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


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Bob_Loblaw wrote:

So in case anyone is wondering what's going on in my medical saga I have really nothing to report.

I saw the audiologist and he ran a bunch of tests. He determined that it's not Meniere's disease, but had to send the results to another team so they could look it over. They meet on Monday and I should hear back by this coming Wednesday or the next. In the meantime, I have no income because I still can't work if I'm collapsing and dizzy.

I have managed to tick off a bunch of people lately as well. My frustration with the "share if you would help a vet" or "vets before refugees" or whatever stupid jingoistic meme is popular that day has peaked. The people who keep sharing and liking these things personally know a vet and the vast majority aren't doing anything at all. I'm not looking for them to donate. I know that it's not possible for everyone. They aren't sharing the fundraiser. They aren't checking in with me to see if I need anything or to see how I'm doing. It's beyond frustrating. They have a chance to actually do something to help and they aren't.

I really hate playing the veteran card because I don't think that I deserve more than others or that I'm better than others. I'm frustrated because they want to look like they are more patriotic than the liberals or conservatives, but the moment they need to put their money where their mouths are, they are on radio silence.

Sorry about the venting. I'm just tired of being a football for everyone's pet cause. LGBT, veterans, LGBT veterans, etc. We just need to start helping people and stop worrying about political points.

if there is one thing the main job has taught me it is that veterans never speak of their experiences. Ever. You would not know a veteran was one unless they told you so. So if someone is loudly preaching, be suspicious.


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Selene Spires wrote:

Things have been going okay with me...

I am getting my money situration back undercontrol...soon I will start being able to save again.

Other things have been slow going but I am still moving forward...a little.

FORWARD SELENE WOOOOOOOOOO


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Bob_Loblaw wrote:
At my last job I worked with several trans men and women. Because I work in the pharmacy, it made a difference with the medications sometimes and with billing their insurance, otherwise they were just my friends and coworkers. It took me a little bit to stop calling people my gay friend, my lesbian friend, my trans friend. I dropped the adjective and just called them my friend. It really has helped me feel a bit better about myself and I'm sure it helps them feel better about themselves.

this is a struggle sometimes. I try to drop the adjective myself. It's hard being the black friend at times.

Silver Crusade

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*channels positive feelings and offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants or needs some*


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Freehold DM wrote:
Bob_Loblaw wrote:
At my last job I worked with several trans men and women. Because I work in the pharmacy, it made a difference with the medications sometimes and with billing their insurance, otherwise they were just my friends and coworkers. It took me a little bit to stop calling people my gay friend, my lesbian friend, my trans friend. I dropped the adjective and just called them my friend. It really has helped me feel a bit better about myself and I'm sure it helps them feel better about themselves.

this is a struggle sometimes. I try to drop the adjective myself. It's hard being the black friend at times.

It's a token greeting. ;)

Your earlier comment about veterans, I am generally concerned with the ones who flaunt it as if it's a badge of honor and they deserve something extra. It bothers me so much because that tells me that they didn't join for love of country. They joined for love of self. That's fine, as long as they recognize that.

In reference to the term "ally," I only like to use it to describe someone who is being supportive and they are being attacked because they aren't part of the group. I would rather just have everyone called a friend. I have had to remind people that there are many people who are our allies. The problem with the term, for me, is that it is generally used in war. I don't like feeling like I'm at war (even if there is a kind of war going on). Maybe I'm just tired of all the fighting.

Grand Lodge

Not sure this is the place to be asking this but it's the most open lgbt place on this forum. I'm a 22 years old cis white straight male nursing student in New Zealand and I often browse this thread to soak up ambient good vibes.

Recently in my course we were given a lecture on sexuality and health, focusing on the lgbt community. And I'm a little bit ashamed to say it made feel angry and wanting leave the room. The presentation felt very exclusive and patronizing, with an air of if you're not with us your against us.

My partner is demi/bi and a good friend of mine is an unashamedly bisexual woman. So being offended by the presentation was an incredibly uncomfortable sensation. I consider myself to be a very level headed and compassionate person, and I take the ethical and moral responsibilities of nursing very seriously.

How can I avoid that knee jerk reaction in the future?


What was the exact topic? There are definitely some things that are more unique or of greater concern to the LGBT community than the rest. Was this a situation where it was focused on those issues or was it more of how it was presented?


Balancer wrote:

Not sure this is the place to be asking this but it's the most open lgbt place on this forum. I'm a 22 years old cis white straight male nursing student in New Zealand and I often browse this thread to soak up ambient good vibes.

Recently in my course we were given a lecture on sexuality and health, focusing on the lgbt community. And I'm a little bit ashamed to say it made feel angry and wanting leave the room. The presentation felt very exclusive and patronizing, with an air of if you're not with us your against us.

My partner is demi/bi and a good friend of mine is an unashamedly bisexual woman. So being offended by the presentation was an incredibly uncomfortable sensation. I consider myself to be a very level headed and compassionate person, and I take the ethical and moral responsibilities of nursing very seriously.

How can I avoid that knee jerk reaction in the future?

Not hearing the presentation myself I can not say. Personally I would examine the reasons why you felt that way. It could be something about the presenter set your teeth on edge...or maybe just the patronization nature of it...etc.


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Freehold DM wrote:
Bob_Loblaw wrote:
At my last job I worked with several trans men and women. Because I work in the pharmacy, it made a difference with the medications sometimes and with billing their insurance, otherwise they were just my friends and coworkers. It took me a little bit to stop calling people my gay friend, my lesbian friend, my trans friend. I dropped the adjective and just called them my friend. It really has helped me feel a bit better about myself and I'm sure it helps them feel better about themselves.

this is a struggle sometimes. I try to drop the adjective myself. It's hard being the black friend at times.

I try not to use adjectives too...but those are verbal shortcuts and sometimes handy. I actually wished my friend use it with me once. I think I mentioned this previously but at a friend'save birthday party he introduced me as Selene without me presenting as female. It did not go as well as expected...but I think it would have been better if he mentioned it to them before hand. People by rule do not react well to surprises.

But I definitely do not think of my friends in terms of adjectives.


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Chromantic Durgon <3 wrote:

Hey everybody :)

I've had this feeling of discomfort with the term ally for a while and calling people allies, I was wondering if anyone else has ever felt that way?

For context I myself am a gay guy.

Yeah...I feel the same. Especially when politicians call themselves that.


Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Bob,

You were mentioning something about balance issues several posts back...

Which branch were you in, if you don't mind my asking?

My father is former Navy, and he had to take medical disability from both his work (which he tolerated) and the love of his life (the local volunteer fire department) due to an unknown neurological condition that caused him to have serious balance issues, particularly under stress.

...and of late I've been noticing that it's happening to me every so often when I'm tired and off-guard....


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189birds wrote:
Moved in today! Excited for pride in a few weeks, and I start work on monday, so I'm excited. Now that I'm back in town I've been thinking of maybe finding a PFS game in the area but...i'm not really sure where to start haha. Especially with finding a group that won't misgender me :^)

Of the 4 groups I play with...

The main group is really good about it...they use Selene and she/her...etc.

Group number 2 I have come out too...and they were like "so what?"... it does not matter to them. I guess they think they are being open minded...but I find this to be mildly annoying. This group is currently on hiatus...I will probably talk to them about this.

Group number 3 has my oldest friends in it...they are still getting used to the idea. But they are trying.

Group number 4...I am not comfortable yet to even come out to.(though the GM may know as he is active on the boards) they are the people I met recently (just over a year) and the group is definitely a 'guys night out'...so they might become very uncomfortable if they do start seeing me as a women. The group just went on summer hiatus...maybe I will talk to the GM about it during the summer break.


Wei Ji the Learner wrote:


Bob,

You were mentioning something about balance issues several posts back...

Which branch were you in, if you don't mind my asking?

My father is former Navy, and he had to take medical disability from both his work (which he tolerated) and the love of his life (the local volunteer fire department) due to an unknown neurological condition that caused him to have serious balance issues, particularly under stress.

...and of late I've been noticing that it's happening to me every so often when I'm tired and off-guard....

I was in the Army. The VA is looking at everything now and they aren't sure what it is. They said that I am losing my hearing a bit in my left ear, but it's nothing to be concerned with right now. It's only the higher tones (which I knew already). They said it could have been from firing the weapons all the time. There's no real way to know so it was added to my file just in case.

In October 2015 I had a severe reaction to heparin which ended up causing blood clots throughout my brain, kidneys, and liver. It nearly killed me. They can see scar tissue on my brain scans, but they aren't convinced that it's causing the problem. They want to have a neurologist check it out. It may be, but the ER doc and the audiologist can't make that determination.


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I don't like it because one it has connotations of war, and as far as I'm concerned I'm not at war, I'd like to think I'm part of a progressive social movement, not an army. Not only that but it implies that by supporting gay rights issues they're somehow at war too, people going to war for me? No thanks.

Finally it seems like othering to me, if someone is your ally they're fighting a common enemy but they are still kept seprerate from you. It's exclusionary not inclusive, surely we should strive to be inclusive, especially of people who choose to support us even if they themselves do not identify in some none traditional manner, were all just people we don't need to self segregate.


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Bob_Loblaw wrote:


I was in the Army. The VA is looking at everything now and they aren't sure what it is. They said that I am losing my hearing a bit in my left ear, but it's nothing to be concerned with right now. It's only the higher tones (which I knew already). They said it could have been from firing the weapons all the time. There's no real way to know so it was added to my file just in case.

In October 2015 I had a severe reaction to heparin which ended up causing blood clots throughout my brain, kidneys, and liver. It nearly killed me. They can see scar tissue on my brain scans, but they aren't convinced that it's causing the problem. They want to have a neurologist check it out. It may be, but the ER doc and the audiologist can't make that determination.

He and I have both lost a good chunk of high range (comes from working in Engineering spaces before they locked down what was a 'safe' decibel range for single/double hearing protection).

Can't fault the Navy for that one, the science was still relatively new even in the early '90's when I was in.

Something that's seemed to help for us a bit is cutting back/cutting out certain processed sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Aspartme, Stevia, etc.) Not insisting on doing such a thing, and the first month of withdrawal *sucks*, but if you're trying to eliminate possible causes it might be worth looking into?

Some other folks in this thread have pointed out that the 'ally' tag is exclusionary versus inclusionary, and I kind of have to agree.

I'm going to remember 'friend' without tags in the future, and also thank folks for many ideas I've come across here on the thread...


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I personally don't like the label ally either, but mainly bc it feels like rewarding cishet people for their allyship as opposed to simply expecting it because they should be decent human beings.


Wei Ji the Learner wrote:

He and I have both lost a good chunk of high range (comes from working in Engineering spaces before they locked down what was a 'safe' decibel range for single/double hearing protection).

Can't fault the Navy for that one, the science was still relatively new even in the early '90's when I was in.

Something that's seemed to help for us a bit is cutting back/cutting out certain processed sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Aspartme, Stevia, etc.) Not insisting on doing such a thing, and the first month of withdrawal *sucks*, but if you're trying to eliminate possible causes it might be worth looking into?

I already have a very restrictive diet because of the gastric lap sleeve surgery. I have gone back to eating the same things I was eating when I was able to eat solid foods again. My diet is very bland already. This was one of the first things I looked into because I had to make sure I was getting the proper nutrition. When I had my lab work done, I even asked them to double check my vitamin levels for things that they don't normally, just to make sure. All my lab work came back great. The worst was my sodium, which was on the high end of normal.

Grand Lodge

Bob_Loblaw wrote:
What was the exact topic? There are definitely some things that are more unique or of greater concern to the LGBT community than the rest. Was this a situation where it was focused on those issues or was it more of how it was presented?

It was discussing the different orientations and a brief overview of the LGBT community. Look back it was combination the presenters attitude and the general lack of detailed information. One of the most interesting parts that I actually enjoyed was when the lecture discussed intersex peoples and what it meant to be intersex, because they went into detail about it. With other topics like gender and sexuality the lecturer just sort of threw names and labels at us without stopping to clarify anything. (i.e Pansexuality was mentioned once and it wasn't until I got home and talked about it with my SO who clarified it for me that it made sense.)

The whole thing came off as expecting you to just understand and accept what was being told to you with out any exploration of the why it was important. To use a phrase it seemed a little, and I don't mean any disrespect to anyone here, combative.

Silver Crusade

I can remember in college (probably 2002-ish) I was an invited guest to a public health class, based on my activities promoting education on campus about LGBT issues. (I was a campus "Safe Zone" educator, the education chair for the LGBT organization on campus, and had a seat on the campus diversity roundtable [as the token voice talking about sexual and gender diversity to a panel that didn't want to hear it - but that's a story for another day]). Based on all those activities, the instructor thought I was an obvious choice and I was happy to do it.

As I was speaking to the class, something seemed odd, but I couldn't put my finger on it. The students were very attentive (unusually so, according to the instructor). It wasn't until the end that someone said what was up. Apparently they were all in awe that a gay person would get in front of a classroom, identify himself as such, and have a frank discussion about gender identity, sexual health, HIV/AIDS, and related topics. Apparently this was completely foreign to the vast majority of them.

On one hand, that was a long time ago, and we like to think a lot has changed since then (and in some ways, it has). On the other hand, we tend to assume that people who work in health are informed about all this stuff, and that is not a safe assumption to make.


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189birds wrote:
Garbage-Tier Waifu wrote:
CrystalSeas wrote:
189birds wrote:
Especially with finding a group that won't misgender me :^)
I can't think of a better test for "Jerks I Want To Avoid Forever" than a group that tolerates misgendering.

I had a enby character in one of my adventures get frequently misgendered by a dude I eventually stopped inviting for mostly unrelated but similar reasons (he was also just a bad player in general, and I wonder if his complaints about his previous group were genuine or not...)

I was in a game where I made my gender clear on the first day and then got told it was an internet gender. (Then they proceeded to slut shame my bi character so...)

Wow. That's terrible!

Honestly, some gamers need to like, take a cannonball into a dumpster. And stay there.

Nobody here, but definitely anyone who misgenders someone and invalidates identities. And people who slut shame, just eurgh!


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Balancer wrote:
Bob_Loblaw wrote:
What was the exact topic? There are definitely some things that are more unique or of greater concern to the LGBT community than the rest. Was this a situation where it was focused on those issues or was it more of how it was presented?

It was discussing the different orientations and a brief overview of the LGBT community. Look back it was combination the presenters attitude and the general lack of detailed information. One of the most interesting parts that I actually enjoyed was when the lecture discussed intersex peoples and what it meant to be intersex, because they went into detail about it. With other topics like gender and sexuality the lecturer just sort of threw names and labels at us without stopping to clarify anything. (i.e Pansexuality was mentioned once and it wasn't until I got home and talked about it with my SO who clarified it for me that it made sense.)

The whole thing came off as expecting you to just understand and accept what was being told to you with out any exploration of the why it was important. To use a phrase it seemed a little, and I don't mean any disrespect to anyone here, combative.

Sounds like the presenter might just need to work on their technique. I'm still learning a lot about all the identities. To me there are many that seem identical or close enough to be identical that it seems that feels like splitting hairs. Since I don't identify that way, I can only let them define themselves and treat them with respect no matter what.

I think that there may still be some difficulties with people trying to explain how others identify when they don't really understand it themselves. It's not a hard science so it's hard to sometimes just accept something when the presenter doesn't present well.


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Celestial Healer wrote:

I can remember in college (probably 2002-ish) I was an invited guest to a public health class, based on my activities promoting education on campus about LGBT issues. (I was a campus "Safe Zone" educator, the education chair for the LGBT organization on campus, and had a seat on the campus diversity roundtable [as the token voice talking about sexual and gender diversity to a panel that didn't want to hear it - but that's a story for another day]). Based on all those activities, the instructor thought I was an obvious choice and I was happy to do it.

As I was speaking to the class, something seemed odd, but I couldn't put my finger on it. The students were very attentive (unusually so, according to the instructor). It wasn't until the end that someone said what was up. Apparently they were all in awe that a gay person would get in front of a classroom, identify himself as such, and have a frank discussion about gender identity, sexual health, HIV/AIDS, and related topics. Apparently this was completely foreign to the vast majority of them.

On one hand, that was a long time ago, and we like to think a lot has changed since then (and in some ways, it has). On the other hand, we tend to assume that people who work in health are informed about all this stuff, and that is not a safe assumption to make.

I learn more every day. Every single day.


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Balancer wrote:
Bob_Loblaw wrote:
What was the exact topic? There are definitely some things that are more unique or of greater concern to the LGBT community than the rest. Was this a situation where it was focused on those issues or was it more of how it was presented?

It was discussing the different orientations and a brief overview of the LGBT community. Look back it was combination the presenters attitude and the general lack of detailed information. One of the most interesting parts that I actually enjoyed was when the lecture discussed intersex peoples and what it meant to be intersex, because they went into detail about it. With other topics like gender and sexuality the lecturer just sort of threw names and labels at us without stopping to clarify anything. (i.e Pansexuality was mentioned once and it wasn't until I got home and talked about it with my SO who clarified it for me that it made sense.)

The whole thing came off as expecting you to just understand and accept what was being told to you with out any exploration of the why it was important. To use a phrase it seemed a little, and I don't mean any disrespect to anyone here, combative.

I do not see a problem with your reaction. I probably would have similar reaction...maybe even worse than yours.

I am a Transgendered Woman lesbian. But I am new and finally accepting of it...so my lack of LGBT terminology is lacking. To assume everybody has the same level of knowledge is just bad teaching.

Though it would probably drive me to find books on subject to educate myself.


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Garbage-Tier Waifu wrote:
189birds wrote:
Garbage-Tier Waifu wrote:
CrystalSeas wrote:
189birds wrote:
Especially with finding a group that won't misgender me :^)
I can't think of a better test for "Jerks I Want To Avoid Forever" than a group that tolerates misgendering.

I had a enby character in one of my adventures get frequently misgendered by a dude I eventually stopped inviting for mostly unrelated but similar reasons (he was also just a bad player in general, and I wonder if his complaints about his previous group were genuine or not...)

I was in a game where I made my gender clear on the first day and then got told it was an internet gender. (Then they proceeded to slut shame my bi character so...)

Wow. That's terrible!

Honestly, some gamers need to like, take a cannonball into a dumpster. And stay there.

Nobody here, but definitely anyone who misgenders someone and invalidates identities. And people who slut shame, just eurgh!

If someone did that at a game I was running, I'd have that person ejected from the group. As a GM, I have absolutely zero tolerance for that sort of behavior.

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