The LGBT Gamer Community Thread.


Gamer Life General Discussion

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Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

Yep


Good ... we can always blame the long weekend. :)

Scarab Sages

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Another depressive streak - don't worry, I am not into doing anything bad or weird, but I feel I must get out of the loop for a few days, more or less just taking a deep breath and do something to refill my power reserves. I might go 'offline' for a few days - keep the fire burning for me and continue to be awesome - 'see' you soon!


Take the time you need, Feytharn. We'll still be here when you get back.


*Puts a few logs on the Campfire*

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

*hugs Feytharn*


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Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories, Pawns, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Rysky wrote:

Annnnnnnd Tuesday.... yeah, that's all I have to say about today :3

*channels positive feelings and offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants or needs some*

Here's some hugs to help refill your supply

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

Thankies.


I hope you feel better feytharn soon. *hugs*


Pathfinder Adventure Subscriber

What do you call mansplaining when a woman does it to a guy?


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Kajehase wrote:
What do you call mansplaining when a woman does it to a guy?

Womansplain?

Ladyfine?
Femalucidate?

Liberty's Edge

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God, is mansplaining really entering the language as a generic term without the connotations about privilege and institutional sexism?

(Or is this a joke)


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Kajehase wrote:
What do you call mansplaining when a woman does it to a guy?

Rudely explaining or re-explaining what someone else said because their inflated ego needs to affirm the idea that their gender is the only one capable of adequately conveying and conceptualising any given idea to a sufficient degree, even if they have only half the facts? Particularly when you have institutions trying to ingrain this very idea into their heads, causing intellectual superiority complexes so entrenched among academics and insecure losers it's basically an automatic response for them?

Pretty sure that doesn't happen, yo.


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Pathfinder Adventure Subscriber

About 75% joke. But I also just had someone pretty much repeat the exact thing I'd said to someone else in a discussion about childcare, with a pretty darn obvious subtext of "which you can't know anything about on account of you being a man" (not that it matters, but I've several years worth of experience working with children, as well as less regulated time spent looking after children to various friends of my parents).


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Kajehase wrote:
About 75% joke. But I also just had someone pretty much repeat the exact thing I'd said to someone else in a discussion about childcare, with a pretty darn obvious subtext of "which you can't know anything about on account of you being a man" (not that it matters, but I've several years worth of experience working with children, as well as less regulated time spent looking after children to various friends of my parents).

You're getting gender role checked, my dude. Sucks yo, and I feel where you're coming from. That woman's behaviour comes from a very similar place to why men do it. It's to make you uncomfortable with your profession, and probably make you second guess yourself as a professional. That woman probably was trying to make you feel like you're not supposed to be there, even if she didn't outright admit it. It's as much a part of the patriarchal social learning as anything else, and all are victims of it in the end.

So basically, wow, what a rude person, people should know better.


Pathfinder Adventure Subscriber

Of course, with the way society at large is, the difference is that it's a lot easier for me to make a joke out of it and walk away with a slight shake of the head.


Aye, very true.


Presumably the word would be femsplaining.

Silver Crusade

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*head* *desk*

Anywho,

*channels positive feelings and offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants or needs some*

*and aspirin*


Garbage-Tier Waifu wrote:
Kajehase wrote:
What do you call mansplaining when a woman does it to a guy?

Rudely explaining or re-explaining what someone else said because their inflated ego needs to affirm the idea that their gender is the only one capable of adequately conveying and conceptualising any given idea to a sufficient degree, even if they have only half the facts? Particularly when you have institutions trying to ingrain this very idea into their heads, causing intellectual superiority complexes so entrenched among academics and insecure losers it's basically an automatic response for them?

Pretty sure that doesn't happen, yo.

rotfl

We will have to disagree here.


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Rysky wrote:

*head* *desk*

Anywho,

*channels positive feelings and offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants or needs some*

*and aspirin*

Channel Aspirin should be a Variant Channel option.

Also thank you I need it today. Not the aspirin but definitely the positive energy.

Freehold DM wrote:

rotfl

We will have to disagree here.

I mean, I sorta got shown I was wrong (sorta), but it's not quite the same thing. 'Mansplaining', if we really need to use that term, is really just small example of the general behaviour of men dominating discussions and forum spaces. It's basically treating listeners who aren't men as though they don't know anything or can't understand what they're saying. This is stuff done in professional environments, among peers. It's stifling and keeps people other than men from actively participating in the professional world, or even keeps their voices silent in professional fields. Not just making someone feel uncomfortable.

It's based heavily on power dynamics, which happens to be cis white male dominant.


*Yawn, wipes eyes* 'Morning, everyone. *Places some logs on the Campfire* My latest programming project, a D20 Traveller Subsector Generator is nearly finished. I'll generate a lot of data for Tom Kalfbus' campaign a whole lot quicker than if we were just rolling dice.


Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Garbage-Tier Waifu wrote:


I mean, I sorta got shown I was wrong (sorta), but it's not quite the same thing. 'Mansplaining', if we really need to use that term, is really just small example of the general behaviour of men dominating discussions and forum spaces. It's basically treating listeners who aren't men as though they don't know anything or can't understand what they're saying. This is stuff done in professional environments, among peers. It's stifling and keeps people other than men from actively participating in the professional world, or even keeps their voices silent in professional fields. Not just making someone feel uncomfortable.

It's based heavily on power dynamics, which happens to be cis white male dominant.

It's not just women who get that treatment.

I've been in toxic work places where *everyone* got that treatment, regardless of gender, race, or orientation...

...which is why I no longer work at such places, but sometimes one doesn't have a choice.

Project Manager

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The feminine equivalent of "mansplaining" is an individual being rude, not a widespread societal problem, so it doesn't have or need a special term.

It's sort of like how men can be victims of individual prejudice on account of their gender, but not victims of sexism (prejudice + institutional/societal power) or how white people can be victims of individual prejudice on account of their race, but not victims of racism (prejudice + institutional/societal power).


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Jessica Price wrote:

The feminine equivalent of "mansplaining" is an individual being rude, not a widespread societal problem, so it doesn't have or need a special term.

It's sort of like how men can be victims of individual prejudice on account of their gender, but not victims of sexism (prejudice + institutional/societal power) or how white people can be victims of individual prejudice on account of their race, but not victims of racism (prejudice + institutional/societal power).

Though I think Kajehase might have a point in specific contexts that are traditionally women's roles, like child care. There it really does function similarly: It's gendered in the same way, it's gatekeeping, dominance behavior.

And in a way, it does have societal power behind it, the same forces that make it women's work in the first place target men who want to do it.

Of course, as he also says, it's less damaging because it's much more limited and men can get reinforcement in other areas easily enough.


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So, in the last four hours, I've modified my Subsector generator to be able to generate a fully populated Sector, which is 16 subsectors. It is fairly complete and I'm happy with it. And so, the project is done. :)


Pathfinder Adventure Subscriber
thejeff wrote:
Jessica Price wrote:

The feminine equivalent of "mansplaining" is an individual being rude, not a widespread societal problem, so it doesn't have or need a special term.

It's sort of like how men can be victims of individual prejudice on account of their gender, but not victims of sexism (prejudice + institutional/societal power) or how white people can be victims of individual prejudice on account of their race, but not victims of racism (prejudice + institutional/societal power).

Though I think Kajehase might have a point in specific contexts that are traditionally women's roles, like child care. There it really does function similarly: It's gendered in the same way, it's gatekeeping, dominance behavior.

And in a way, it does have societal power behind it, the same forces that make it women's work in the first place target men who want to do it.

Of course, as he also says, it's less damaging because it's much more limited and men can get reinforcement in other areas easily enough.

And it's probably also gotten at least four posts more attention than an off-hand, mostly joke (that wasn't that funny) brought on by bemusement and having been awake for more than 24 hours straight, comment deserves.

Silver Crusade

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Almost to Friday, can't wait to go watch Wonder Woman!

*channels positive feelings and offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants or needs some*


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*Yawn* 'Morning everyone. *Tosses more logs on the Campfire.* Gotta keep the Home Fries Fires burning. Sorry, that joke was too good to pass up. :)


Can't wait for tomorrow.

Don't tell my wife.

She plans on being extra obnoxious during the film...


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So I was reading an article about Pride and how not everyone feels welcome. I left a single post, "I don't feel that Pride provides much of anything for those who aren't explicitly cis and gay. It's a very lopsided binary event."

That's based on my experiences and observations.

The very first response: "Then you're a blind, dystopian, bigoted Marxist. Have you never seen the transexual floats? And all the others representing different parts of our community? If you don't like it, organize your own parade that would undoubtedly leave out the majority for the sake of minority-fetishization. Yeah, THAT would be very 'inclusive'!"

This is why I don't feel welcome even in my own community.

Sovereign Court

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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion Subscriber
Cindy Robertson wrote:
This is why I don't feel welcome even in my own community.

I completely understand. :(


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Cindy Robertson wrote:

So I was reading an article about Pride and how not everyone feels welcome. I left a single post, "I don't feel that Pride provides much of anything for those who aren't explicitly cis and gay. It's a very lopsided binary event."

That's based on my experiences and observations.

The very first response: "Then you're a blind, dystopian, bigoted Marxist. Have you never seen the transexual floats? And all the others representing different parts of our community? If you don't like it, organize your own parade that would undoubtedly leave out the majority for the sake of minority-fetishization. Yeah, THAT would be very 'inclusive'!"

This is why I don't feel welcome even in my own community.

come up my way, you and kalindlara will most likely be welcomed.

If not(something that has been discussed in the community to varying degrees), then come over to my house.

There will be ribs.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

As a fortysomething cis white bi guy who's been happily and monogamously married to a woman for more than 20 years, I don't exactly feel welcomed by a small but vocal minority in the LGBTQ community, either. I've been accused of being a "tourist."

I will identify as bi when it comes up, but most people pretty much assume I'm straight because I blend into the patriarchy.

Silver Crusade

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:(

*hugs Cindy*

*hugs Kali*

*hugs Haladir*


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Haladir wrote:

As a fortysomething cis white bi guy who's been happily and monogamously married to a woman for more than 20 years, I don't exactly feel welcomed by a small but vocal minority in the LGBTQ community, either. I've been accused of being a "tourist."

I will identify as bi when it comes up, but most people pretty much assume I'm straight because I blend into the patriarchy.

What pisses me off so much is that it's supposed to be inclusive. We should want to include ourselves and our allies. It doesn't feel that way at all. The more I look into the LGBT community, the more I realize that I don't belong.

Liberty's Edge Developer

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Cindy Robertson wrote:

So I was reading an article about Pride and how not everyone feels welcome. I left a single post, "I don't feel that Pride provides much of anything for those who aren't explicitly cis and gay. It's a very lopsided binary event."

That's based on my experiences and observations.

The very first response: "Then you're a blind, dystopian, bigoted Marxist. Have you never seen the transexual floats? And all the others representing different parts of our community? If you don't like it, organize your own parade that would undoubtedly leave out the majority for the sake of minority-fetishization. Yeah, THAT would be very 'inclusive'!"

This is why I don't feel welcome even in my own community.

Heck, I don't even feel comfortable at TRANS pride in Seattle. The event is still all about cis people.

Silver Crusade

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*hugs Crystal*


Crystal Frasier wrote:
Cindy Robertson wrote:

So I was reading an article about Pride and how not everyone feels welcome. I left a single post, "I don't feel that Pride provides much of anything for those who aren't explicitly cis and gay. It's a very lopsided binary event."

That's based on my experiences and observations.

The very first response: "Then you're a blind, dystopian, bigoted Marxist. Have you never seen the transexual floats? And all the others representing different parts of our community? If you don't like it, organize your own parade that would undoubtedly leave out the majority for the sake of minority-fetishization. Yeah, THAT would be very 'inclusive'!"

This is why I don't feel welcome even in my own community.

Heck, I don't even feel comfortable at TRANS pride in Seattle. The event is still all about cis people.

that doesn't bode well for here then. The last I heard was that outreach was made to trans pride Seattle to learn more about making pride nyc more accessible for trans people here.

Oh man. What a letdown.

Silver Crusade

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Most Pride events have gotten co-opted by corporate capitalist interests anyways, so I don't feel like I'm missing much

Maybe that's just my Marxist dystopian point of view *sips espresso*

Silver Crusade

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In happy news the Faroe Islands have legalized same sex marriage!


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Happy news for once: I've been selected for an interview for a chance at a college scholarship for fall!


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Crystal Frasier wrote:
Cindy Robertson wrote:

So I was reading an article about Pride and how not everyone feels welcome. I left a single post, "I don't feel that Pride provides much of anything for those who aren't explicitly cis and gay. It's a very lopsided binary event."

That's based on my experiences and observations.

The very first response: "Then you're a blind, dystopian, bigoted Marxist. Have you never seen the transexual floats? And all the others representing different parts of our community? If you don't like it, organize your own parade that would undoubtedly leave out the majority for the sake of minority-fetishization. Yeah, THAT would be very 'inclusive'!"

This is why I don't feel welcome even in my own community.

Heck, I don't even feel comfortable at TRANS pride in Seattle. The event is still all about cis people.

Preach. I don't go to pride (there are pride parades here in Tasmania but I get anxious in big crowds and events), but I know lots of other transwomen who have been and not felt comfortable. They can highlight some glaring issues with peoples politics and lack of inclusivity, ironic as that is.

Hrothdane wrote:

Most Pride events have gotten co-opted by corporate capitalist interests anyways, so I don't feel like I'm missing much

Maybe that's just my Marxist dystopian point of view *sips espresso*

Gimme some of that joe, because I'm so sick of big corporations commercialising us and co-opting our spaces to push their products. I'm not interested in how 'inclusive' your Skittles are, bruh, I just want to not be threatened in public spaces and I want equal job and healthcare opportunities. A lot of big corporate interests are counter-intuitive to that so I'm not interested in their participation, because it is paying lip service to inclusivity rather than genuinely helping. Even more often is the selling of inclusivity to cis straight people through these products so that 'you too can be inclusive by using our products!'. Which is, like, the complete opposite of what should be happening and just and endemic of the actual problem. Now THAT'S my Marxist dystopian point of view.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Haladir wrote:

As a fortysomething cis white bi guy who's been happily and monogamously married to a woman for more than 20 years, I don't exactly feel welcomed by a small but vocal minority in the LGBTQ community, either. I've been accused of being a "tourist."

I will identify as bi when it comes up, but most people pretty much assume I'm straight because I blend into the patriarchy.

I've found myself internalizing a lot of that "tourist" rhetoric since figuring out I was bi back in November. My husband knows, and I think one of my friends might have seen my post on this board, but I haven't come out to anyone else because it hasn't come up and I'm a very private person. Between that, being monogamously married to a man, having never had an experience with a woman, and being demisexual (thus not having a lot to go on in the way of sexual attraction), I find my brain being a jerk and chiming in constantly on the matter.

Well, are you really sure you're bi? Yes, brain, I am. Remember the time we had a crush on our coworker for years? And the college friend for years before that?

Side note:
I'm colossally dense for not figuring it out sooner.

But it doesn't count, you're married, no one knows, you might as well be straight anyway... Doesn't change the fact that it's true, brain. And the Internet knows, and the person to whom it matters most, and others will know in time.

But is it really true...? Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip.

There's a whole lot bigger problems that others face, I'm well aware, and some tiny part of me even feels guilty that I get exempted from the burdens many others experience. But being raised super-sheltered and religious, I didn't even really get non-heterosexuality until I got well into college, and it's taken long enough for me to get to the point where I can accept who I am. Having my own brain fighting me on it is annoying. :P


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I know I have many friends on this thread, so I'll just come out and say it. I learned a short time ago that my landlord for the past year died suddenly in a drowning accident. It's unknown at this point whether my Mother and I will have to move, but I'll keep everyone posted.


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I'm so sorry John. I hope that everything works out well for you.


So do I, Bob. I'm somewhat still in a state of shock.


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Losing someone you know, even if it's just a business associate, is jarring at best. Not knowing about housing only makes it more difficult.


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Pride Month Commissions

So, as you can see if you click the link, an artist I happen to follow on DeviantArt is offering a limited number of commissions, with the proceeds going to a crisis intervention and suicide hotline for LGBTQ youth. In case anyone is interested and has the money to spare.

Silver Crusade

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KSF wrote:

It looks like the latest issue of Marvel's "Angela: Asgard's Assassin," reveals that her traveling companion, Sera, is a trans woman.

This is Sera. (That's not where we learn about her. She tells her backstory later in this issue.)

Issue #3, which came out this week.

2 year old necro but I finally read this series (and Witch Hunter 1602 and the sequel to Asgard's Assasin, Queen of Hel).

All 3 are f&$+ing awesome. I absolutely love Angela and Sera.

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