The LGBT Gamer Community Thread.


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Thanks for taking the time to reply Lissa.

I can't recall who made the comments I was referring to. They were all long ago. I have heard contradictory things through the media presented as fact. And I have heard one transwoman interviewed who regarded the surgery she had undergone as not needed. But one person's views don't tell you anything about a population.

Even if the Swiss study is right about the suicide rate in post operative trans women, it may well be lower than the rate in pre-operative trans women.

Good luck with the insurance company.

Silver Crusade System Administrator

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It is 10x lower than preoperative trans women and that is a fact.


Kajehase wrote:
Crowdfunding campaign for UK organisation who wants to take 40 trans-youths camping.

I never knew that anything like that existed!

Shadow Lodge

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JJ,
I was fortunate that insurance paid for my primary surgery back in the 80s. Having an insurance company was a crap shoot back then, and often times, required massive correspondence and negotiations
I believe that many instances back then depended on a combination of which insurance company you had, and the company you worked for.
I had many delays and scary moments when I did not believe that the insurance company would ever approve, but I actually had a very good agent at the company office who sheparded it through some of the tight spots, and I had great guidance from several sisters at the time, who were going through the process at the same time.
Sister Mary Elizabeth out of Southern California was a major advocate at the time, and her research and guidance helped many a time.
At the time many Transwomen needed from around $15,000 to cover surgeries without insurance. This was 1985 dollars, so I know those costs have only risen since then.
This did not cover peoples usual living expenses and continuing medical costs that women go through.
Side procedures are seldom covered by any insurance, even today. Look at what Jenner has decided to go through: Electrolysis, adams apple shaving, moving of her hairline, and facial reconstruction. Most women, I don't care who or what your background is, can afford all of these procedures.
Many of these procedures can be avoided if a woman begins her transition earlier in life. It is good to not have to reverse the poisoning effects on Testosterone on you body if you can.
But for many to do that at that age would require the consent and support of parents or guardians, something few are willing to do.

For many of us, we are told what we should be doing, and who we are, whether that is "Your gay", "Your a Transvestite", "Your just going through a phase"

There are many sacrifices that we all go through. And not all are willing or able to make those sacrifices. Some wait till they have and raise children, some wait till a significant person in their life is gone, some wait till they achieve financial security. The desperation of the individual and the internal dysphoria drives you to the point where you can no longer wait. The individual has to make that choice of how much they must suffer before they must make changes.

I have had friends who sacrificed more than I did, and I have had friends who have sacrificed less. No ones can say that their sacrifice was harder or easier than another, but none of them have left themselves unmarked.

It always break my heart when the pain of an individual becomes more than they can bear, and they make a choice that ends their life, life the young girl in Cincinnati. Ohio is a hard state, but it saddens me that she wasn't able to find support, when I know personally of several support groups in that area, and even in that city. No one should ever be pushed so hard that they believe their only choice is to remove their own life.

anyways, off the soapbox.

Joynt Jezebel wrote:

Thanks for taking the time to reply Lissa.

I can't recall who made the comments I was referring to. They were all long ago. I have heard contradictory things through the media presented as fact. And I have heard one transwoman interviewed who regarded the surgery she had undergone as not needed. But one person's views don't tell you anything about a population.

Even if the Swiss study is right about the suicide rate in post operative trans women, it may well be lower than the rate in pre-operative trans women.

Good luck with the insurance company.


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A 12-year-old girl killed herself a few days ago, apparently from bullying because she was a lesbian. Her father stated that "she was not happy" (but he never thought it'd go that far), and people are just pointing fingers everywhere from the classmates to the teachers to the parents to the facebook private group she was a part of.

Just goes to show that you can live in a country with gay marriage and trans rights but the culture can be completely unchanged.

Silver Crusade System Administrator

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Shadow Knight 12 wrote:

A 12-year-old girl killed herself a few days ago, apparently from bullying because she was a lesbian. Her father stated that "she was not happy" (but he never thought it'd go that far), and people are just pointing fingers everywhere from the classmates to the teachers to the parents to the facebook private group she was a part of.

Just goes to show that you can live in a country with gay marriage and trans rights but the culture can be completely unchanged.

That's exactly why the elevated post surgery transgender suicide rate is higher than the general population. =(


Jessica half Orc Pistoliero wrote:
Many of these procedures can be avoided if a woman begins her transition earlier in life. It is good to not have to reverse the poisoning effects on Testosterone on you body if you can.

Yes, a trans woman will look more like someone born female if hormone therapy starts early.

Testosterone is only a poison to a trans woman. Me, I am all male and have sh***loads of testosterone. I am so macho people like Stallone and Schwartznegger keep ringing me for tips on how to be more macho. And startlets and super models seeking sexual favours, though they are less of a burden.

I suspect some of the prejudice against transwomen comes from men just thinking about undergoing surgery, or growing breasts, themselves. If you know even a bit about gender dysphoria its a silly way to think of course.

Incidentally, it was early 80's that I had a transwoman friend, so I know something of what it was like back then. You were fortunate to have support at work, especially back then.

Silver Crusade System Administrator

There was a lot more support in the very early 80's until Raymond and McHugh and few others pushed for disallowing treatment under medicare.


I did some research on these people, reading why the trans community hates Raymond and McHugh articles online. Now I hate them too.

I live in Australia and as far as I know these people didn't have as much impact down here, at least I hope not.


Lissa Guillet wrote:
There was a lot more support in the very early 80's until Raymond and McHugh and few others pushed for disallowing treatment under medicare.

hmm... I didn't know this.


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So Looking to wait for Florida to make the gay marriage legality more stable, then probably pooping the question to my girlfriend. Should be awesome


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Odraude wrote:
So Looking to wait for Florida to make the gay marriage legality more stable, then probably pooping the question to my girlfriend. Should be awesome

Ummm....autocorrect strikes again? :P

More seriously, good luck and I hope you guys are very happy. :)

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion Subscriber

Good luck! ^_^


Uh yeah.... autocorrect.... of course.... I certainly wasn't going to hide the ring in her poo ;)

But yeah, it'll be nice to make things official. While she is legally a woman, according to Florida, she is still considered a man and so technically, we'd be a gay couple. So, here's hoping.


Odraude wrote:
So Looking to wait for Florida to make the gay marriage legality more stable, then probably pooping the question to my girlfriend. Should be awesome

geez, man, just ASK her! She's more likely to say yes!!

More seriously, congratulations.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

Huzzah Demon Lord!


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Odraude wrote:

Uh yeah.... autocorrect.... of course.... I certainly wasn't going to hide the ring in her poo ;)

Honey, the dog left a mess on the carpet, could you be a dear and clean it up?

So romantic.


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The American Medical Association released an official statement clarifying their position that there is "no medically verifiable reason" to restrict transgender person from service in the military. I'll try to track down the official link


Here is one article

AMA position on military service by transgender persons

Silver Crusade

Soilent wrote:
Odraude wrote:

Uh yeah.... autocorrect.... of course.... I certainly wasn't going to hide the ring in her poo ;)

Honey, the dog left a mess on the carpet, could you be a dear and clean it up?

So romantic.

It would certainly make the proposal memorable.


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She and I are slowly getting back into the lgbtq and feminist scene down here in Florida. We had a bad experience back in August with some feminists and gay people hating her because she is trans so w we distanced ourselves from the movement s. Now I think we've found a good group to make friends with. I'm happy too. We need the friends.

Silver Crusade System Administrator

That always makes me sad to here when a group is a trans-exclusionary. Still, sounds like you found a place, and that's always pretty great. I've not found a lot of love in Florida but it's around in certain places from what my wife tells me.


Soilent wrote:
Odraude wrote:

Uh yeah.... autocorrect.... of course.... I certainly wasn't going to hide the ring in her poo ;)

Honey, the dog left a mess on the carpet, could you be a dear and clean it up?

So romantic.

Someone ask for help proposing?


Generally, the less the concept of excrement plays in a marriage proposal the better. Just my opinion.


Joynt Jezebel wrote:
Generally, the less the concept of excrement plays in a marriage proposal the better. Just my opinion.

Oh, you say that about everything.

First it was Tennis, now it's a Marriage Proposal.

Where does it end?!

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion Subscriber

Autocorrect has taken this thread to a weird place. ^_^


Weird.... or hilarious?

Sovereign Court

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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion Subscriber

It can be both. ^_^


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Lissa Guillet wrote:
That always makes me sad to here when a group is a trans-exclusionary. Still, sounds like you found a place, and that's always pretty great. I've not found a lot of love in Florida but it's around in certain places from what my wife tells me.

Yeah it wasn't fun. Had some feminst and MRA guys pretty much call her an abomination and some gay guys flat out say we were just a gay couple deep in denial. But, that was months ago and we've made much better friends and are hopefully looking to see more soon.


Soilent wrote:
Joynt Jezebel wrote:
Generally, the less the concept of excrement plays in a marriage proposal the better. Just my opinion.

Oh, you say that about everything.

First it was Tennis, now it's a Marriage Proposal.

Where does it end?!

LOL.

This is contestable. What else have I used that phrase about? Pizza, ballet dancing, Saharan crowd dynamics, BDSM, dinosaur mating habits, renaissance art, sword swallowing, glass blowing... the things you would expect.

Liberty's Edge

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Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Joynt Jezebel wrote:
Soilent wrote:
Joynt Jezebel wrote:
Generally, the less the concept of excrement plays in a marriage proposal the better. Just my opinion.

Oh, you say that about everything.

First it was Tennis, now it's a Marriage Proposal.

Where does it end?!

LOL.

This is contestable. What else have I used that phrase about? Pizza, ballet dancing, Saharan crowd dynamics, BDSM, dinosaur mating habits, renaissance art, sword swallowing, glass blowing... the things you would expect.

*Holds up lead sheet* Stop oppressing my culture, you ethnocentric...


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I would just like to thank everyone who contributes to this thread.

I have wasted too much of my life being uncomfortable with my own sexuality to really think that much about what is happening out there. It has been a very enriching experience to read through this thread and learn something of the beautiful variety of human experiences amongst the members of this community.

Paizo Employee Senior Editor

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There are 17 publicly out* players competing at this year's World Cup!
* And probably more who are out in their lives but hadn't announced that to the media. (Abby Wambach, for example, made such an announcement only recently, reportedly because it didn't occurred to her that her queer identity wasn't totally obvious.)

At the same time, women's soccer faces many challenges, and Fifa remains a super problematic organization.


Judy Bauer wrote:

There are 17 publicly out* players competing at this year's World Cup!

* And probably more who are out in their lives but hadn't announced that to the media. (Abby Wambach, for example, made such an announcement only recently, reportedly because it didn't occurred to her that her queer identity wasn't totally obvious.)

At the same time, women's soccer faces many challenges, and Fifa remains a super problematic organization.

and I just got the song out of my head!


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This is why I love that live in Seattle. Seattle is very open and accommodating.


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Pathfinder Adventure Subscriber
Judy Bauer wrote:

There are 17 publicly out* players competing at this year's World Cup!

* And probably more who are out in their lives but hadn't announced that to the media. (Abby Wambach, for example, made such an announcement only recently, reportedly because it didn't occurred to her that her queer identity wasn't totally obvious.)

At the same time, women's soccer faces many challenges, and Fifa remains a super problematic organization.

Add to those players Sweden's coach Pia Sundhage (the only non-politician communist to have been invited to the White House twice?)

Paizo Employee Senior Editor

Judy Bauer wrote:
At the same time, women's soccer faces many challenges, and Fifa remains a super problematic organization.

1. Whoops, the swearing filter broke the link on "many"—the article I linked to was "At the World Cup, FIFA's Sexism is in the Spotlight," but a search on "sexism FIFA" is also plenty productive.

2. Sundhage's on the list!


Pathfinder Adventure Subscriber

Bugger. Show's me up for not clicking the link first. (In my defence, I'm on a really crappy phone.)

If it weren't for copyright issues, I might have translated a long post about Sweden's goalkeeper Hedvig Lindahl from the recent issue of Swedish football magazine Offside. (If she's not on the list she should be - she's not just out, she's married).

And while not (as far as I know) an LGBT person, it's worth mentioning that England's Fara Williams was homeless from when she was 17 until she was 25 (she's 31 now). Meaning that she managed to hold a place in what in 2009 was the second best team in Europe without even a room to call her own.

It's a pretty stark reminder of the difference in circumstances for male and female footballers.


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The bravest knight


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Care to share with those of us outside the USA?


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

Just thought I'd share this here...

My daughter's sixteenth birthday party is going on in our TV room. My daughter is out as bi, and around the table include one out lesbian, one other out bi girl, a trans guy, an out gay guy, and two straight girls (one of whom is Mormon).

They're eating cheese fondue and watching My Neighbor Totoro.

Apparently, being a sexual minority just isn't a big deal at her school.

I love living in New York!


Haladir wrote:
I love living in New York!

I think of that every time I hear horror stories of intolerance. Not like NYC is free of prejudice by any stretch of the imagination, but when it comes to most gender and sexuality issues, I feel like that stuff got brought to a head during the Stonewall riots like 45 years ago, fought over for a few decades then hasn't been much of an issue in the last 20 years or so.

Again, not saying this is some kind of magical wonderland of freedom, but I guess it's all relative.

EDIT: It was kind of funny, I took a trip down to Key West, and there is a block or two on Duval Street where there are drag queens and gay bars and stuff... I couldn't help but kind of laugh because it was such a novelty down there, and people thought it was so exotic. I just chuckled and thought, wow, it's like being on half the streets in southern Manhattan.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

And I'm not even in The City-- I'm in the central part of New York State, not too far from Syracuse! Manhattan is a four-hour drive from here.


Ha ha! I was about to post saying that what I wrote was just about NYC and that things would probably get less tolerant as you got north and west of the city... I would also assume that there are areas of Queens, Staten Island, etc. that seem stuck a few decades back...

Would you say that your town is unusual or that that is just the way things are all over that region?

Shadow Lodge

Wow, I have been adding people to my FB feed slowly over the years, mostly due to Pathfinder and PFS. Most of the community I have found to be very supportive of LGBTQ issues, and family.
But I recently was posting a funny image (at least I thought it was)Gay Agenda missionaries

I had one of my 'followers' state:

Quote:
What about on television and the movies? There is obviously a gay agenda at work there.

And when I asked if he was serious, the replay was:

Quote:

I'm serious. Now I have nothing against anyone's choice of lifestyle and what-not, but when people say that there is no gay agenda then I'm like, "are you serious?"

For crying out loud they are teaching it to elementary kids! Every sitcom contains homosexuals or homosexual situations. There is defiantly an agenda at work here.

It might not be I implemented by you or yr friends, but someone is pushing for it.

Now this friend is an afro-american male, but younger than me by 20 years. He did not grow up during the civil rights era like I did, and did not see that all LGBTQ are trying to achieve is parity and rights, much like the marches and actions of the 1960s, and that without education, this will not happen.

I do not understand why people are blind to the fact that change requires a conscious decision and advocacy, else people will assume, the minority must be happy, that is why they are quiet, and the minority likes it that way.

Sigh.

Silver Crusade System Administrator

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Fergie wrote:

Again, not saying this is some kind of magical wonderland of freedom, but I guess it's all relative.

One of the great things about Seattle as well. King County is super liberal and accepting. It was great to escape Oklahoma. I still miss it sometimes but it's pretty regressive there. Safety was a large part of why I left.


Haladir wrote:

Just thought I'd share this here...

My daughter's sixteenth birthday party is going on in our TV room. My daughter is out as bi, and around the table include one out lesbian, one other out bi girl, a trans guy, an out gay guy, and two straight girls (one of whom is Mormon).

They're eating cheese fondue and watching My Neighbor Totoro.

Apparently, being a sexual minority just isn't a big deal at her school.

I love living in New York!

crows loudly


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Haladir wrote:
And I'm not even in The City-- I'm in the central part of New York State, not too far from Syracuse! Manhattan is a four-hour drive from here.

...

crows softly


Fergie wrote:
Haladir wrote:
I love living in New York!

I think of that every time I hear horror stories of intolerance. Not like NYC is free of prejudice by any stretch of the imagination, but when it comes to most gender and sexuality issues, I feel like that stuff got brought to a head during the Stonewall riots like 45 years ago, fought over for a few decades then hasn't been much of an issue in the last 20 years or so.

Again, not saying this is some kind of magical wonderland of freedom, but I guess it's all relative.

EDIT: It was kind of funny, I took a trip down to Key West, and there is a block or two on Duval Street where there are drag queens and gay bars and stuff... I couldn't help but kind of laugh because it was such a novelty down there, and people thought it was so exotic. I just chuckled and thought, wow, it's like being on half the streets in southern Manhattan.

I was just as stonewall for work. The place has been taken over by tourists. Not sure how to feel about that.


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Lissa Guillet wrote:
Fergie wrote:

Again, not saying this is some kind of magical wonderland of freedom, but I guess it's all relative.

One of the great things about Seattle as well. King County is super liberal and accepting. It was great to escape Oklahoma. I still miss it sometimes but it's pretty regressive there. Safety was a large part of why I left.

stuff like that pisses me off to no end. I can see someone being bigoted or just intolerant. But to take it so far as to physically attack someone is beyond belief.

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