The LGBT Gamer Community Thread.


Gamer Life General Discussion

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Crystal Frasier wrote:
I have to admit: I have not felt comfortable about posting in this thread in a long time.

I'm sorry to hear that Crystal. I have always found your posts quite educational.


Dogbladewarrior wrote:

I thought it would be cool to create a thread where members of the LGBT community who are also gamers could come and share their life stories, experiences as gamers, and struggles (whether in dealing with their sexuality in relation to our society or not).

The original intention of the thread is pretty nice, sad it has kinda devolved into just another bickering thread. Would be cool to bring it back on track.


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Haven't said much myself in a awhile but I am doing really well. I have basically run out of s#$+s to give if people know I'm trans* and while I haven't announced it to everyone I'm not hiding it either.


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Yuugasa wrote:

Haven't said much myself in a awhile but I am doing really well. I have basically run out of s!%!s to give if people know I'm trans* and while I haven't announced it to everyone I'm not hiding it either.

That's really good to hear :)


The Minis Maniac wrote:
Crystal Frasier wrote:
I have to admit: I have not felt comfortable about posting in this thread in a long time.
I'm sorry to hear that Crystal. I have always found your posts quite educational.

what he said.


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Yuugasa wrote:
Dogbladewarrior wrote:

I thought it would be cool to create a thread where members of the LGBT community who are also gamers could come and share their life stories, experiences as gamers, and struggles (whether in dealing with their sexuality in relation to our society or not).

The original intention of the thread is pretty nice, sad it has kinda devolved into just another bickering thread. Would be cool to bring it back on track.

people bicker. It happens. What should also be happening here is a general momentum of appreciation of the victories, mourning of the losses, and overall acknowledgement of each others humanity.

Spoiler:
Which will lead to even more bickering, but still.

Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

Welcome back, Crystal!


Freehold DM wrote:
Yuugasa wrote:
Dogbladewarrior wrote:

I thought it would be cool to create a thread where members of the LGBT community who are also gamers could come and share their life stories, experiences as gamers, and struggles (whether in dealing with their sexuality in relation to our society or not).

The original intention of the thread is pretty nice, sad it has kinda devolved into just another bickering thread. Would be cool to bring it back on track.
people bicker. It happens. What should also be happening here is a general momentum of appreciation of the victories, mourning of the losses, and overall acknowledgement of each others humanity. ** spoiler omitted **

This was the point I was trying to make-I can sometimes ramble, sorry if I wasn't clear.


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Perhaps a commitment to just flag the derailing posts rather than responding or leaving them unchallenged?

Silver Crusade RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32

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Hey all. Because all of you are too polite to name names in critiquing the bickering, I wanted to come forward and apologize as one of the prime bickerers.

Obviously I can get pretty worked up about this stuff, and that's because it's important to me. However, that doesn't excuse any of my bad behavior. I am sorry if I've hurt anyone here, or made anyone unduly uncomfortable. I'll do my best to temper my reactions in the future. I hope you'll accept my apologies; if not now, then hopefully later, should I prove to be a better member of this community.


thejeff wrote:
Perhaps a commitment to just flag the derailing posts rather than responding or leaving them unchallenged?

I'm up with that!


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mechaPoet wrote:

Hey all. Because all of you are too polite to name names in critiquing the bickering, I wanted to come forward and apologize as one of the prime bickerers.

Obviously I can get pretty worked up about this stuff, and that's because it's important to me. However, that doesn't excuse any of my bad behavior. I am sorry if I've hurt anyone here, or made anyone unduly uncomfortable. I'll do my best to temper my reactions in the future. I hope you'll accept my apologies; if not now, then hopefully later, should I prove to be a better member of this community.

Accepted before it was made. :)


The Doomkitten wrote:

Thank you, Chris.

Actually, I just realized that probably nobody has ever thanked the Web Staff for patrolling the boards. So, again, I thank all of you.

I am pretty sure that the staff was thanked multiple times for patrolling the boards and cleaning them. It is another matter if those thanks were offered often enough for their effort.


Crystal Frasier wrote:
I have to admit: I have not felt comfortable about posting in this thread in a long time.

Yeah, I miss the old much more cozy feeling here. :(


mechaPoet wrote:

Hey all. Because all of you are too polite to name names in critiquing the bickering, I wanted to come forward and apologize as one of the prime bickerers.

Obviously I can get pretty worked up about this stuff, and that's because it's important to me. However, that doesn't excuse any of my bad behavior. I am sorry if I've hurt anyone here, or made anyone unduly uncomfortable. I'll do my best to temper my reactions in the future. I hope you'll accept my apologies; if not now, then hopefully later, should I prove to be a better member of this community.

Nah. There were much worse offenders in the history of the thread causing worse periods.

Shadow Lodge

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Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Starfinder Superscriber
The Doomkitten wrote:
*tests acid pool's pH level*

If I'm posting, the pH level is unbalanced...by definition.

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Starfinder Superscriber
Crystal Frasier wrote:
I have to admit: I have not felt comfortable about posting in this thread in a long time.

Yeah. I go through months at a time where I can't even open the thread, let alone read it. Much less post in it.

But that actually is way more about my emotional state than it is about the posts here. I've just had to accept that when my social anxiety levels are high, that I will isolate. And when they get lower -- which they always do -- then I will come back.

And it's all just emotions. Actual life is pretty good.


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I think the thing to remember that on any potentially contentious or hot button topic is to embrace the fact that every person's experiences are different. Too often people jump to post something to the contrary, or to say things to the effect of "well that doesn't happen to me/people I know." It brings up an atmosphere of dismissiveness, which is exactly the opposite sort of approach to take.
Be kind to each other, please-and-thank-you. :)


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What MechaPoet said. I am sorry for my part of the bickering. Just like for her, the topic debated is important to me. Still, there are good and bad threads to do it.


Perhaps there could be an extra flag added - take this to a new/another thread?

Silver Crusade RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32

Sissyl wrote:
What MechaPoet said. I am sorry for my part of the bickering. Just like for her, the topic debated is important to me. Still, there are good and bad threads to do it.

:)

Also, just so no one gets confused, my pronouns are he/him or they/them. Subject to change, as always. ;D


mechaPoet wrote:
Sissyl wrote:
What MechaPoet said. I am sorry for my part of the bickering. Just like for her, the topic debated is important to me. Still, there are good and bad threads to do it.

:)

Also, just so no one gets confused, my pronouns are he/him or they/them. Subject to change, as always. ;D

Sorry.

Liberty's Edge

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And apparently the Presbyterian Church has changed its constitution to recognize and allow same sex marriage.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/18/us/presbyterians-give-final-approval-for- same-sex-marriage.html?_r=0


Whilst that's great, I didn't think you were referring to the Church of Scotland!

Silver Crusade RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32

Sissyl wrote:
mechaPoet wrote:
Sissyl wrote:
What MechaPoet said. I am sorry for my part of the bickering. Just like for her, the topic debated is important to me. Still, there are good and bad threads to do it.

:)

Also, just so no one gets confused, my pronouns are he/him or they/them. Subject to change, as always. ;D

Sorry.

No worries.


Krensky wrote:

And apparently the Presbyterian Church has changed its constitution to recognize and allow same sex marriage.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/18/us/presbyterians-give-final-approval-for- same-sex-marriage.html?_r=0

Interesting. I'm wondering if they are doing it because they are bleeding membership (they've lost about 1/5 of their membership in under a decade) or it's simply symbolic of Christianity as a whole (people are leaving Christianity in favor of other items, and those who are staying are becoming more in favor of LGBT rights).

I'm thinking it's more likely the latter, as the article stated they expected they would lose even more individuals over this choice.

Interesting overall, I didn't know the Presbyterian Church was so small overall (comparatively to other denominations comparatively speaking), but still interesting shift in their doctrine.


GreyWolfLord wrote:
Krensky wrote:

And apparently the Presbyterian Church has changed its constitution to recognize and allow same sex marriage.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/18/us/presbyterians-give-final-approval-for- same-sex-marriage.html?_r=0

Interesting. I'm wondering if they are doing it because they are bleeding membership (they've lost about 1/5 of their membership in under a decade) or it's simply symbolic of Christianity as a whole (people are leaving Christianity in favor of other items, and those who are staying are becoming more in favor of LGBT rights).

I'm thinking it's more likely the latter, as the article stated they expected they would lose even more individuals over this choice.

Interesting overall, I didn't know the Presbyterian Church was so small overall (comparatively to other denominations comparatively speaking), but still interesting shift in their doctrine.

The article suggests a lot of the loss they've had lately is because of earlier similar decisions - ordaining gay and lesbian officials in particular.

It's an interesting pattern - a church liberal enough to take the first steps loses its more conservative members, leaving it even more liberal and willing to take further steps, even though it's smaller.


And those churches who remain stodgy, have the exact same result, with more conservative members from the more liberal churches joining them, thus making the conservative church even more conservative. It is, be very certain, not a development that the liberal churches gain from.


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Sissyl wrote:
And those churches who remain stodgy, have the exact same result, with more conservative members from the more liberal churches joining them, thus making the conservative church even more conservative. It is, be very certain, not a development that the liberal churches gain from.

That's not entirely clear. The more liberal churches may do better retaining/attracting younger members who skew more liberal - at least when it comes to LGBTQ issues.


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Sissyl wrote:
And those churches who remain stodgy, have the exact same result, with more conservative members from the more liberal churches joining them, thus making the conservative church even more conservative. It is, be very certain, not a development that the liberal churches gain from.

I'm confused, why isn't it a development that liberal churches gain from?

To me, in the long run, it may be beneficial, at least that sounds like it.

Aren't the conservative churches losing members as well over time?

Project Manager

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Given that:

  • organized religion of all sorts is hemorrhaging members (non-affiliated/non-religious are the majority in, IIRC, 13 states now);
  • fully a third of millennials are unaffiliated, the majority of the affiliated don't attend church regularly;
  • unlike previous generations, so far millennials seem to be getting less religious as they get older;
  • the majority of millennials (~70%) support gay marriage;
  • and, in fact, a third of those who've left their religion cite churches' stance on gays and lesbians as a major factor in their departure;

any attendance bump conservative churches get from homophobes fleeing churches that support gay marriage is temporary.

Being gay-friendly may not save more liberal churches, but it's not what's going to kill them, either. Unless millennials' kids end up throwing a giant religious revival, it's not looking good for churches.

Silver Crusade

What is a 'millennial'?


oh, oh, oh I know this one. Not me, I'm 51 years old. My adult children, 31, 29, 26, and 23, are them

Project Manager

Malachi Silverclaw wrote:
What is a 'millennial'?

Different academics have defined it differently, but generally, someone born between 1980 and 2000. (Second most popular definition is 1985-2005.) The Generation after Gen X (millennials are also sometimes called Gen Y).

Silver Crusade

Jessica Price wrote:
Malachi Silverclaw wrote:
What is a 'millennial'?
Different academics have defined it differently, but generally, someone born between 1980 and 2000. (Second most popular definition is 1985-2005.) The Generation after Gen X (millennials are also sometimes called Gen Y).

Okay, cheers! Now I know. : )

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

Since I belong to a religious tradition (Unitarian Universalist) that has pretty much always been made up predominantly of people who have left other religions -- these trends do not disturb me.

Silver Crusade System Administrator

pH unbalanced wrote:
Since I belong to a religious tradition (Unitarian Universalist) that has pretty much always been made up predominantly of people who have left other religions -- these trends do not disturb me.

I really enjoyed UU. I gave a few talks with them and a UU church in Tulsa helped our group put on a little convention with a good chat and question and answers from the congregation. A lot of great thinkers there.


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My personal experience with members of the UU church have been awesome, very nice people.

I find it a kinda fascinating religion in that it seems to get all the emotional highs of religion and community without any of that pesky 'conform to our beliefs to be accepted.'

You can do that as a church? I thought that was cheating!

+1,000 points to UU


Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

Read up on UU on Wiki. They've got a nice setting there.

Liberty's Edge

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Even their extremists are nice.


Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

Seems more like a think tank than a religion, but I like it.


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Jessica Price wrote:
Malachi Silverclaw wrote:
What is a 'millennial'?
Different academics have defined it differently, but generally, someone born between 1980 and 2000. (Second most popular definition is 1985-2005.) The Generation after Gen X (millennials are also sometimes called Gen Y).

I actually tend to think of Gen Y as distinct from Millennials, but I realize that's not a common distinction these days.


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Well, as someone too young to be a Gen-X-er, and too old to be a Millenial, I support that distinction.

Project Manager

Kajehase wrote:
Well, as someone too young to be a Gen-X-er, and too old to be a Millenial, I support that distinction.

I'm... not sure how that can be.

Baby Boomers: 1940s & 50s
Gen X: 60s & 70s
Millennials: 80s & 90s

I can understand feeling like you don't quite fit into one group or another based on their overall characteristics (I'm on the cusp, and while I have way more in common with the millennials than the Gen Xers, I'm Gen Xish in a few regards), but there's not really any chronological gap between them. If anything, based on different estimates, they overlap at the edges.


I'm right on the edge of being a Millennial myself, but I'm definitely a child of the 80s, if by that phrase we mean the first decade you remember growing up in.

Silver Crusade

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Jessica Price wrote:
Kajehase wrote:
Well, as someone too young to be a Gen-X-er, and too old to be a Millenial, I support that distinction.

I'm... not sure how that can be.

Baby Boomers: 1940s & 50s
Gen X: 60s & 70s
Millennials: 80s & 90s

I can understand feeling like you don't quite fit into one group or another based on their overall characteristics (I'm on the cusp, and while I have way more in common with the millennials than the Gen Xers, I'm Gen Xish in a few regards), but there's not really any chronological gap between them. If anything, based on different estimates, they overlap at the edges.

The chronology may be clear (although even upthread it was mentioned that Millenial could be either 1980-2000 or 1985-2005, meaning that the generation of people like me born between 1980 and 1985 is not a consensus), but I think many people on a generational cusp may struggle to identify with the generation on either side based on culture. Generations are assigned certain characteristics, and are assumed to have certain shared coming-of-age experiences that we "cuspers" may not identify with. Hence the feeling of not fitting in.

To whit:

As a Millenial, I was supposed to have grown up with ubiquitous information-based technology. Yet, I didn't have an email address until I was 18, and I got my first cell phone when I was in my 20s.

As a Millenial, I was supposed to have graduated college in a terrible economy with no job opportunities. On the contrary, I graduated in 2003 and jobs were plentiful. I was well-established in my career when the recession hit.

Etc. etc.


Celestial Healer wrote:
Jessica Price wrote:
Kajehase wrote:
Well, as someone too young to be a Gen-X-er, and too old to be a Millenial, I support that distinction.

I'm... not sure how that can be.

Baby Boomers: 1940s & 50s
Gen X: 60s & 70s
Millennials: 80s & 90s

I can understand feeling like you don't quite fit into one group or another based on their overall characteristics (I'm on the cusp, and while I have way more in common with the millennials than the Gen Xers, I'm Gen Xish in a few regards), but there's not really any chronological gap between them. If anything, based on different estimates, they overlap at the edges.

The chronology may be clear (although even upthread it was mentioned that Millenial could be either 1980-2000 or 1985-2005, meaning that the generation of people like me born between 1980 and 1985 is not a consensus), but I think many people on a generational cusp may struggle to identify with the generation on either side based on culture. Generations are assigned certain characteristics, and are assumed to have certain shared coming-of-age experiences that we "cuspers" may not identify with. Hence the feeling of not fitting in.

Well, they're broad categories and grand generalizations anyway. Many people, even in the center of the generation, don't really fit or identify.

They're still useful terms as long as you remember that.


I was born in 1978.

Liberty's Edge

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A truly excellent vintage, Freehold.


Celestial Healer wrote:

The chronology may be clear (although even upthread it was mentioned that Millenial could be either 1980-2000 or 1985-2005, meaning that the generation of people like me born between 1980 and 1985 is not a consensus), but I think many people on a generational cusp may struggle to identify with the generation on either side based on culture. Generations are assigned certain characteristics, and are assumed to have certain shared coming-of-age experiences that we "cuspers" may not identify with. Hence the feeling of not fitting in.

To whit:

As a Millenial, I was supposed to have grown up with ubiquitous information-based technology. Yet, I didn't have an email address until I was 18, and I got my first cell phone when I was in my 20s.

As a Millenial, I was supposed to have graduated college in a terrible economy with no job opportunities. On the contrary, I graduated in 2003 and jobs were plentiful. I was well-established in my career when the recession hit.

Etc. etc.

That's the kind of the thing I usually have in mind when I make the distinction. Though I guess one could also argue that my experience, as someone born in the early 70s is a bit different than someone born in the early part of Gen-X.

At the very least, I do get the sense of there being a bit of cultural break between those born in the 80s and those born in the 90s. At least for those people I know who were born in one decade or the other. (And a lot of the people I know, my friends, my colleagues and my students, were born in either one of those two decades.) Some of my friends who were born in the 80s have expressed this as well.

On the other hand, I'm also friends with a number of people born in the 60s, and I don't have as much of a sense of a cultural gap between us.

I guess this all gets into what is the meaning or the point of these generational groups/labels. There is a degree of artificially imposed boundaries going on here, much like the artificial boundary imposed between the end of one decade and the start of another.

Edit to add: Or my thinking of the two terms as distinct might just be that I was using the term "Gen-Y" before "Millennial" was coined (or at least well before I heard of it), so it just seemed like a different group to me. Anyways, enough rambling on that.

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