Life Lessons I Wish My Parents Had Taught Me...

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1) Buying a house is a pain in the butt!
2) Don't stick bobby pins into light sockets.
3) Everclear should not be drunk like it is water.

That is all for now...

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4) High School teachers are underpaid losers -- do not listen to them.
5) The government will take care of you, so you don't have to work.
6) Always share your weed.
7) Do *not* waste time going to college.
8) If you are going to rob someone, choose a white women around the county library.

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9) Some people deserve a punch in the face. You will get in trouble for doing this, right or wrong, but sometimes its worth it.

10) Certain jobs require a college education
11) An internship at an office will pay off in the end
12) 10,000 hours of practice leads to mastery of a skill

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

13- do not move in the same month your car registration is due.

14) Unconditional love
15) Tolerance for others beliefs and ways of life

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

16) A house is a never ending project. Once you buy one you will realize there is always something that needs to be fixed.
17) Do not waste money on expensive beer late in the evening. After 5 or 6 they all start tasting the same. Switch to the cheap stuff to just maintain your buzz.
18) Strippers just want your money. It's their job. No, they don't really think you're "different from all the other guys."
19) Teachers and professors have opinions and bias too. Everything they tell you is not "fact." Take it with a grain of salt.

Scarab Sages

20) Clowns are not the embodiment of evil.

21) The word ENTITLEMENT is an excuse for lazy people.
22) Never loathe doing anything, you'll end up having to do it no matter how much you try to avoid it.
23) No matter where you work, there will always be coworker(s) who do the bare minimum with shoddy quality and feel as though they provide as much value to their company as the employee who consistently outperforms them at every turn.
24) Everyone wants to be respected. Only a few know how to actually EARN it.

25) Nobody's perfect. Not even me.
26) Everybody lies. Even me.

Liberty's Edge

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Pathfinder Companion Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

27) "What" you know only gets you so far. To get beyond that, it depends on "who" you know.

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

My parents taught me a lot of life lessons.

Remember everything they did in raising us, and how they managed their household.... and do the exact opposite.

Liberty's Edge

29.) Being active throughout your entire life will pay off. Just because you're a nerdy kid doesn't mean you can't join a team or be physically fit.

30.) Turning the other cheek doesn't stop bullies from picking on you. Standing up to them has a higher probability of success. There's no shame getting sent to the principal's for punching a bully in the nose.

31.) Start investing/saving money from Day One of earning your first paycheck. Compounding interest is a beautiful thing that no one should miss out on.

Capitalizing on what Reckless said, my parents gave me the WORST possible advice when I was in school. They told me "Student council is just a stupid popularity contest. Popularity doesn't count for anything. Focus on schoolwork." They were dead wrong in that; in the workplace, competence and skill count for nothing. Popularity is the thing that gets you ahead. Odds are, your management consists of a bunch of former D students, with IQs under 100 and mail-order MBAs, but who are gifted at schmoozing. (Unless of course you work for Bill Gates.)

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Keep in mind that bill gates got most of his seed money from schmoozing a friend into selling him windows for 10,000 AFTER IBM offered him 10 million for it.

So yes, even IF you're working for bill gates your bosses primary skill is dickery.

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33? I wish my dad taught me the proper way to be comfortable in relationships instead of trial and error. A lot of error.

34.) Learning a second language is a really good skill to have.

Scarab Sages

35) Some people are just whiny a+&*&*#s and there's nothing you can do to change that.

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36) The key to satisfying a woman is delicate pressure applied to the clitoris in a circular motion.

37) Keep it simple, pay for your women.
38) Always try to manipulate fellow employees to do your job too, so you can just stand around.
39) Stay up late watching TV, because one day you will be dead and won't be able to.
40) You are *always* being video taped, so wear disguises.

Scarab Sages

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41). Never fight a land war in Asia.

42) Nice guys really do finish last.
43) Your not special or unique so you better get your *#&@ together and get a game plan.

Liberty's Edge

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Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

44) Never gamble with a Sicilian when death is on the line.

Silver Crusade

Cuchulainn wrote:
There's no shame getting sent to the principal's for punching a bully in the nose.

I must be a *great* parent. I told my kid that when he was five... :D

45.) Nobody cares as much what you say or do as you yourself do. (Most people are too involved in their own drama to much care.)

Scarab Sages

43) Always be specific when you lie.

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47) The ghosts in the back of your mind will never go away. Make friends with them, so when you close your eyes they won't look at you.

48) Study the great works like The Art of War, The Book of 5 Rings, The Way of No Sword, the Dao te Ching, The Prince etc.

49) Religion is for people who are going to hell, spirituality is for people who have been there...

50) Study Martial Arts regularly- you get a great workout and you learn to defend yourself from the bullies!

51) Get the "Game" or one of the other books from the great pickup artists of today. They will surprise you as they aren't about seduction, but about self confidence and communication skills but in a certain kind of way :)

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52) Fundamental Attribution Error

53) The Planning Fallacy

54) Parsimony

55) Falsificationism

Scarab Sages

56} Douchebags exist, and they have a leader.

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57) People do not argue to reach a position. They already have a position and use arguments that support it.

Scarab Sages

58) If you and some other folks are being chased, you don't have to be the fastest. You just have to not be the slowest.

59) being a gentleman does not get you the girl. Being a gentle man, however, does.

Scarab Sages

60) Penguins do not normally attack on sight.

Sczarni RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

61) The only correct answers are "Yes Drill Sergeant!" or "No Drill Sergeant!" yelled as loud as you can. Any answer starting with "I think..." is obviously wrong, because a Drill Sergeant has not trained you how to think yet.


62) Mimes should have a hunting season

63) A wet roll of tolet paper is more fun than a dry one.

Silver Crusade

64.) When a guy cheats on you, it's because he has issues. Not that you're not hot enough.

65.) Jealousy kills relationships.

66.) There are going to be days when you really, really, really just need to do the minimum and not try to be superhuman.

67.) Be an animal. Humans are the only species capable of making themselves miserable while trying to be happy. Animals merely are happy, or sad, or scared, or angry; they don't try to be other than they are.

68.) Not only men cheat. Though women cheat for the same reasons, they have issues.

69.) Never stop loving someone, even if they have stopped loving you.

Scarab Sages

70) IT probably means "welcome to hell" in some obscure tech language.

71) IT Job = Auto Mechanic; Software Developer = Professional Driver.
72) CEO = quarterback; Treasurer = Judge.
73) Vice President = got a promotion + more responsibility, but no pay raise.

74. The difference between a lady boy and a real lady.

75. Don't try to fix stupid, like being born with only one leg, it is a congenital problem.

76. Do not tease cats with food in your hand. They will use your body as a climbing post to get to said food.

Liberty's Edge

77) Its the things you didn't do that you regret most, not the things you did.

Liberty's Edge

78) If it floats, flies, or f*cks, rent it.

ShadowcatX wrote:
77) Its the things you didn't do that you regret most, not the things you did.

I must be a fluke on top of being an accident, 'cause for me it is the exact opposite.

78) Don't leave your television with a user overnight.

79) Don't be fat.

80) How to > hack a bank ATM < with an Atari Portfolio.

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

81) If you do end up fat, it probably took you YEARS to get that way. Don't expect the fat to "melt away in days!"... despite what the infomercials may try to tell you.

Doesn't matter what they taught. You all would've been letdowns anyway.

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82) One does not simply walk into Mordor.

83) That there are going to be people with different opinions out there your not going to like. Deal with it and move on an argument convinces no one.

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