The * I Hate Dwarves * Thread


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This thread is for all the people who hate dwarves.

The Dwarf is the stupidest construct in gaming, and should be taken
out of D&D, and all other fantasy products.

.

This is a list of all the reasons Dwarves are stupid:

1. They are Drawves.

The Exchange

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Dwarves rule Elves drool!

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

5. Their beards are full of fleas and mices!


7. The dwarf is born to be a miner.


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I will not stand for this Elven propaganda.


Ah'm nay feelin the love.


I presuming the your only referring to fantasy dwarfs because Peter Dinklage is awesome.

I agree with you 100%, the Hobbit would have been so much better if Tolkien replaced the dwarves with humans. The book would have been less fantastic but much more normal but normal is better right?


Grand Magus wrote:
7. The dwarf is born to be a miner.

9. Dwarves are 49er fans.


10. Dwarven beards are not as epic as mine. I am a bad mofo.


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11. They are constantly stereotyped as drunks and this stereotype is usually how they are portrayed in all media.


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12. Gimli killed more orcs than Legolas and is a better fighter.


13. If Aule had struck the hammer . we all would be free of this abominations.

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

2 people marked this as a favorite.

I removed some posts. Really, folks, be adults.


Ross Byers hates dwarf haters!!

Burn him!!

:D

Ultradan


14. Dwarves smell.


15. -2 to Cha, they aren't very pretty or personable.


That's it! Urist, pull the lever for the magma cannon!


16: Dwarves don't know how to shave....I mean how backwards to you have to be as a race not to know how to shave?

Silver Crusade

You do not have good taste like my good taste in ironbloom musrooms.


17. Bearded women


Haters gonna hate.


18. Instead of hammer + chisels, they have dwarves fight with battle axes -- can you say p***** envy.


19. Dwarves are unencumbered by low ceilings due to their short stature.


20. Did I mention they are Dwarves?


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let us be entirely fair, dwarves do have their good points. for a start, their short stature means that the taller races will never be unwelcome in their halls, as we're the only ones who can reach the top shelves. likewise, they don't contribute to the international shortage of razor blades, nor do they bother the barber community. finally, they're generally good enough to keep out of the way in their underground homes.


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Jealousy. It's an ugly thing.


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Grand Magus wrote:

17. Bearded women

actually in pathfinder dwarven women don't have beards.


captain yesterday wrote:
Grand Magus wrote:

17. Bearded women

actually in pathfinder dwarven women don't have beards.

hahaha


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If Harsk were a 1st level Commoner he'd still be the most awesome iconic, without technically being an iconic even! Dwarves are too cool for you folk!


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Why would you hate dwarves? I mean sure, cleaning all that hair off is a lot of work, and then you have to let them marinate for at least 48 hours before cooking, and you have to cook them long over low heat, and even then they're still a little gamey.

But if you can't be bothered yourself, Anthony Bourdain just found the best little BBQ-dwarf joint on the southwest coast of Kalva. Mmmm, mmmm, talon-licking good! And all-you-can eat Wealday specials, 2-for-1 meads, and always no reservations required! But if you visit, bring your coin purse, because they don't take Shoanti Express.

Dark Archive

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BAH! All of you haters are just jealous of our handsome beards and manly smell!

Now, if this thread goes on, I swear I shall cast the dreaded 'Curse of the Soiled Underwear' on all who proclaim their "hate" towards our noble race!


Leprechauns


Bunch dang kobold lovers, that's what these haters are.


18. Snow White had seven of them.


19. Dwarves can not do mathematics; or even count really..


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Grand Magus wrote:
19. Dwarves can not do mathematics; or even count really..

PFFT. They are the greatest architects to have ever architected!


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Nickolas Russell wrote:
Grand Magus wrote:
19. Dwarves can not do mathematics; or even count really..
PFFT. They are the greatest architects to have ever architected!

i think you may be confusing them with gnomes. easy mistake to make.


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FuelDrop wrote:
Nickolas Russell wrote:
Grand Magus wrote:
19. Dwarves can not do mathematics; or even count really..
PFFT. They are the greatest architects to have ever architected!
i think you may be confusing them with gnomes. easy mistake to make.

Gnomes make toys. Who would confuse a massive citadel with a wooden bauble!?


you, apparently.


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Sure there may be Gnomish architects, but they don't have any noteworthy structures to their name. They just reinvent other races' wheels. It's okay, you're just a victim of anti-Dwarf propaganda. Look for the truth my friend.

Brastlewark is a wooden bauble.


you have too many titles next to your name for me to argue with you...
...
even when you're obviously wrong. ;)


FuelDrop wrote:

you have too many titles next to your name for me to argue with you...

...
even when you're obviously wrong. ;)

lol, it is a bit much. Only one more and it gets condensed, I missed the threshold.

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