How strange, I specifically remember figuring out the "sub-designations of skills must be lowercase" bit, and modifying that to be the case. I wonder what happened. The non-italicized spell was not caught because it was italicized in my editor.
I tried a new way of developing for that item. I guess it didn't work out so well. Note to future self: When your item needs a specific visual to work, that should be a redflag.
Thanks for the response, and the dubious honor of being the first to have the comments sanitized!
Chalice of Eternal Fire
*Obviously, this item got "golden ticketed" as an alternate. I believe Ryan championed it.
*Hmmm. Kind of a SAK of mostly SIAC effects, only they never really referenced the spells. They just went with straight description. But, if you strip away that flavor, you're looking at an augmentation item for all your summoning and conjuration spells that grant you a fiery ally...an area effect 8d6 flame strike or selective fireball...and then a resist energy (cold) and resist energy (fire) along with an elemental aura (fire) effect. That's a lot of fiery cheese to throw into one 50,000 gp chalice. Also, by the time you can afford this item, that DC 16 Reflex save for the torrents of flame from the plane of fire is going to be pretty easy to make for most creatures which PCs of that level would be facing.
*This item feels more like it's trying to flirt with artifact territory to me. References to pulling fire directly from the plane of fire only reinforce that. And I think it goes way overboard in the multitude of powers and spell effects it's granting in a single package. That said, the designer did a great job following the wondrous item template. They presented the mechanics of the item fairly well. I think their item concept and idea overreached a bit too far. So...
*Vote to Reject.
*This submission flirts dangerously close to the line of being an artifact. I also worry about applying templates to things - it's one of those parts of the game system that causes GMs a lot of extra paperwork and headaches, but at least it's a standardized system.
*The number of effects, the power of those effects and how they all work together would suggest that this item is under-priced (even if the designer followed the costing rules as written). That's a worry for any GM that lets this into their game; the price is so low that a lot of characters are going to angle to get one.
*The strength of this design does outweigh these concerns and I'm not about to ding someone for following the rules as written even if the result is a bit wonky.
*I recommend that you vote for this designer.
*Eek, it's a SIAK with a "my theme is fire" theme. Yes, that's redundant.
*I don't really see how these are thematically tied other than "fire fire fire!"
*Reject.
*I like it, keep. Yes, Beavis would love this item (Fire! Fire! Fire!) but it works.
*I quickly thought HP and the Goblet of Fire, too; but this is not that.
*Keep.
*Ha! We run the gamut on this one. We've got one Keep, one Weak Keep, one Weak Reject, and one Reject.
*2 keeps are enough to get it in the Keep folder for now (or at least out of the pending folder). It likely won't go into the top group, but it should hang around to get a chance.
*Kept.
Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8
aka ugly child
|
The Kingfisher’s CloakWhat's a Kingfisher?
The killer for me is the "The cloak grants the user the hold breath special quality". Hold Breath is not a "special quality", it's a extraordinary ability. If I were a judge, I'd stop reading there.
A kingfisher is a type of bird and hold breath is a special quality listed in the Bestiary. :) Cheers for the read though.
Hmm bit of a question here..
I submitted an item called 'Storyteller' but I seem to have deleted my physical copy of the text I stored on my computer (blasted copy /paste gremlins!). I'm guessing it's stored somewhere in a giant database, was wondering if there is a way I can see what I submitted? (possibly tie it to one's paizo.com account? (have it show up under the account page as something like RPG SUPERSTAR <YYYY> submission?)
Deep breath.
I'd appreciate any feedback that comes outta this.
Redeemer’s Quill
Aura moderate enchantment and necromancy; CL 9th
Slot --; Price 50,000 gp; Weight --
Description
This quill appears to be an unassuming black feather quill. It shines red and gold in perfectly symmetrical patterns when held to a page. It never runs out of ink and its words never smudge. It cannot be used to write a falsehood. If forced to write with the quill, such as during an interrogation, the bearer will be compelled to write the answers to questions posed to him unless he succeeds at a DC 14 Will save.
In addition, once per day a bearer of the quill may use it to pen a contract. A signer of such a contract is bound to the terms as written by the bearer. If a signer refuses to follow the contract they are cursed as the spell bestow curse. The bearer chooses the effects of the curse upon penning the contract. Nullifying a contract is a difficult process that requires a break enchantment, limited wish, miracle, remove curse, or wish. Remove curse works only if cast by a spellcaster of 11th level or higher.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, mark of justice, zone of truth; Cost 25,000gp
Azlanti Librarian’s Key
*Well...they get some points for interesting flavor behind the abilities of their item. I don't really see much value in including the Azlanti in this item. It could be any "librarian"...and frankly, I'm kind of put off by the association with a librarian at all. It would work better if it was an item that connected to any higher planar entity for assistance.
*But now we come to that which kind of puts me off a bit with regards to this item. I'm not really a fan of swapping spell scrolls for a spell trigger "charge" on the key. I mean, in some ways I guess that's innovative. If you don't have someone with a decent Use Magic Device skill (or a spellcaster who has that particular spell on their spell list), then I guess this helps other characters still get some residual value out of the scroll by putting the energy of that spell into a different form. Still, as a spell trigger item, they've still got to be able to activate it. So, I don't know...maybe I've talked myself back into being okay with it.
*I think what might make this item better is that it should be limited so that when converting a scroll to a different spell, it can only be to a spell that you know. Then, put Scribe Scroll into the item as an additional requirements and it's not too different from simply scribing a spell scroll using that feat, except, you're saving time by converting a spell scroll of an equal or lesser spell to do it.
*The Knowledge skill bonus is also kind of annoying to me. I dislike assigning an escalating monetary value as simple as 10 gp per +1 competence bonus gained. Like spells, not all Knowledge checks are equal in the grand scheme of things. It's all circumstantial.
*So, at it's core, this is a SAK item. It's almost got enough mojo to override that. But, some of the concerns around swapping spells so easily kind of set me back from it.
*For now, I'll put myself on the fence. I have a feeling most of you won't champion this one. But I want to hear what the rest of you think before casting my vote.
*I don't like the imagery of a librarian and I don't like the Azlanti brand use. I felt like the Research thing was tacked on to avoid being accused of having just one ability. The item was better without it. Overall, I just can't get past the "meh" factor.
*Vote to Reject.
*I don't like the cartoon-like use of a librarian in the wall.
*This doesn't need to be tied to Azlant at all.
*I don't like that you can replace any junky scroll with a cool "scroll" that you don't know.
*The research bit seems tacked on.
*Item doesn't address that when you use it, you've actually sealed off a doorway using metal bars, and presumably this lasts as long as you keep the key in the door. Handy for locking out enemies when you need a safe place in the dungeon...
*Reject.
*Rejected.
|
Gibber Bane
I'd rather see something that would apply to a witch with the animate hair hex. Also, looks like silence-in-a-can.
I would like you guys to be as harsh as possible with your comments
Starsong Harp
OK, harsh it is, then.
Don't use weasel words, such as the "often" in "this harp is often made of black star sapphire". It either is or isn't.
Spell names need to be italized. Also, the shooting performance bard ability.
Consider dancing lights and endure elements as requisites. In fact, I think you've got your requisites wrong. Tiny hut? I mean, tiny hut?? What does tiny hut do in this item? A 3rd-level spell used just to raise the temperature doesn't seem right.
The terrains and monstrous physique bit looks to me a) overpowered and b) swiss-army-knife-y.
What is dream feast? I can't find that in the PRD.
Mushroom of the Fey Ring
*Kind of a combo-item, but I think this thing lost focus in there somewhere. I get the theme, but in some ways I think this would be better as two separate items. I'm not as crazy about altering the enchantment spell in a wand, even though the designer kept it balanced in terms of power so it only replaces the wand's spell with a different spell from the same school and level. Still, it's kind of random and I don't know how many PCs would resort to using the dust in this manner.
*The part I like the most is the alteration of the summon monster and summon nature's ally spells, but I think the description of this ability is a little weak and convoluted. I get what the designer is striving for...I'm just not sure they reached it. That said, the item concept is kind of interesting to me. I like that they limited it to only seven uses as a consumable item. And the designer did a great job following the wondrous item template.
*Weak Keep.
*At sunset,
sprinkle the dust in a circle
around an enchantment wand
which makes a ring of mushrooms grow
and if left overnight,
unobserved and undisturbed
(in theory)
a random fey visits the wand,
uses a few charges,
and changes the wand to a different enchantment spell.
*Or, instead apply a template
(which I'll describe here,
in the magic item text)
to a summoned monster,
instead of its asterisked template,
making it a chaotic spell,
but only if you are non-lawful.
*Or, summon a fey nature's ally instead of a monster.
*The first part is WAY too convoluted to activate.
*The second is a new template disguised as a magic item.
*The third is only three creatures on the entire summon list, and therefore mostly pointless unless you really need a mite, satyr, or pixie.
*Reject.
*The first paragraph is just annoying writing. "If left undisturbed and unobserved overnight—the theory goes—a fey visits, tries out the wand, alters the wand’s spell as either a gift or a trick, and departs."
*The theory goes? So you don't even know if that happens?
*Reject.
*Rejected.
|
|
A kingfisher is a type of bird and hold breath is a special quality listed in the Bestiary. :) Cheers for the read though.
Heh, my english vocabulary of animals seems to be incomplete yet :-)
And, see how hold breath has a "(Ex)" just after it? It's still an Extraordinary ability :-)
Also note you're dealing with items that PCs will (or would) wear and use. I'd rather not use terms that appear only in the bestiary stat blocks.
Mask of Many Roads
*Wha--? How does seeing across the Ethereal Plane grant you a see invisibility effect? Wouldn't that just let you see ethereal creatures? Invisibility =/= Ethereal.
*Then we get a planar lesson embedded in the text of this incredibly expensive item and it basically boils down to just a create demiplane-in-a-mask item. I'll pass.
*Vote to Reject.
*Aaaaaaaand....this one just kinda peters out. I do like bubbles though.
*Reject.
*I get the feeling this person could write a cool creepy story, but needs to work a lot on getting game terminology and game rules right.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32, RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16
,
Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7
aka Draconas
|
Don't have my full item description right in front of me at the moment, but I'd like feedback for the Scalpel of Malleable Evolution if its not too much trouble.
It was the item for Alchemists to deal temp Con damage and turn them into evolution points for evolutions on living beings.
Vest of Seven Pockets
*I already didnt like the vest of seven small bags of holding, which is really all this is. Then they do the dumb immovable rod thing. Does any other wondrous item (or magic item of any kind for that matter) actually require another magic item as a construction requirement? If no, then that alone is a reason to reject, I think.
*Reject.
*Someone is just a major fan of the immovable rod and wanted a reason to invoke it in this new wondrous item. I'm not a fan of the multi-planar portal vest. There's a lot of missteps in this entry, too. They obviously didn't spellcheck ("afterword") and knew enough to italicize a spellname, but not lowercase it or also italicize magic item names (like the immovable rod or this very item in the descriptive text). There's no reference to secret chest as a part of this item, despite the fact that most extradimensional items always rely on that. The plane shift could be important, too...but who would wear this thing and have such a dependency on storing things on completely different planes? In that respect, it's kind of a plot device item.
*Vote to Reject.
*Just... what? Why?
*Reject.
*Rejected.
I believe this is the draft of the item I submitted. Thanks in advance for your critique --I hope to take something away from this :)
Wendigo Pelt
Aura moderate transmutation [air]; CL 9th
Slot shoulders; Price 16,200 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This mangy gray-haired pelt is wreathed in an aura of ice-cold eldritch vapor that buffets opponents and buoys the wearer. During combat, the wearer may surround one opponent with harsh winds. For the purposes of combat maneuvers made by the wearer, that target is considered smaller by one size category. Once a day, as a free action during a successful bull rush against a target, the wearer can choose to invoke the spirit of the wendigo that haunts the pelt. The aura that surrounds the pelt immediately forms into a dread apparition of a wendigo, and as the bull rush takes effect, the apparition drags the target backward into the air in a horrid embrace. The total height gained by the target is 50 feet, plus 10 feet for every 5 horizontal feet the bull rush forces the target back. During the target’s backward ascent, the apparition buffets and batters the target for 2d6 points of damage. The apparition disappears at the apex of this movement, and the target is immediately subject to the rules for falling. Any creature situated in the squares below, must treat the target as a falling object. Furthermore, the wearer’s feet barely touch the ground in any mountainous environment (or in any cold environment containing natural snow or ice); allowing the wearer to ignore difficult terrain and the associated penalties for moving through it.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, control winds; Cost 8,100 gp
Helm of Eternal Hunger
*A really annoying mechanic woven into the "must eat dead flesh" angle. Who's going to purposefully make this kind of item? I think this designer really just wants to force characters into eating every decomposing body they run across.
*Setting that aside, it's basically a SAK with some SIAC effects (i.e., black tentacles). They also referenced ghoul's touch which isn't the correct name for that spell. I don't like the mechanic whereby the tentacles have a base CMB/CMD, but it's higher if the wearer's is better.
*All in all, I'm just not a fan of this one.
*Vote to Reject.
*Gonzo monsters in a can.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Sightlinked Spies
Aura moderate divination; CL 8th
Slot –; Price 20,000 gp; Weight –
Description
These inanimate winged insects with dusky amber gemstones for eyes always come in pairs. If a character gives a command word while pressing upon the eyes of one spy, the character is sent visual information of the area surrounding its counterpart. This functions as the spell arcane eye, originating in the open space closest to the counterpart's location. However, the user cannot view anything outside of a 60 foot radius surrounding the counterpart. The effect remains as long as the spy's eyes remain pressed.
If the same command word is spoken while a spy's eyes are released, then it will animate and travel towards its counterpart at a fly speed of 15 feet. The spy will avoid any spaces too small for a medium sized creature to travel through if possible, and it will not stop until it is either physically halted or in contact with its counterpart. A sightlinked spy will not function if its counterpart is encased in lead or on a different plane of existence.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, arcane eye, locate object; Cost 10,000 gp
Mask of Many Roads*Wha--? How does seeing across the Ethereal Plane grant you a see invisibility effect? Wouldn't that just let you see ethereal creatures? Invisibility =/= Ethereal.
*Then we get a planar lesson embedded in the text of this incredibly expensive item and it basically boils down to just a create demiplane-in-a-mask item. I'll pass.
*Vote to Reject.
*Aaaaaaaand....this one just kinda peters out. I do like bubbles though.
*Reject.
*I get the feeling this person could write a cool creepy story, but needs to work a lot on getting game terminology and game rules right.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Thank you for the feedback, Neil, and for going to the massive effort of letting everyone have this catharsis by getting feedback on their items. It's tempting, as I'm sure it is for most people, to try to defend my item, but the bottom line is that you guys know what you're talking about. There's always next year, thanks again!
Fermenting Gyst
*Fermenting gyst? That's your item name? *sigh* Perhaps they mean "gist"...and just chose to spell it in an Olde English style?
*A unique, bitter taste that delights the palate? Really? How delightful could it be? I can't say I enjoy the taste of something bitter all that much.
*Can't be contaminated by magical effects that spoil liquids? And then you reach for the black dragon's corrupt water ability before the slightly more common putrefy food and drink? Granted, it's only a witch spell, but I have a feeling you'll be seeing a few more of those than a black dragon every day.
*Okay, set that aside. Lots of presentation missteps here. Craft Wondrous Item needs to be capitalized. You don't typically need to mention caster level in the construction requirements, especially if it's already the same as the item's CL. That's why you have CL 9th, above. Specific skill variations should be lowercased as Profession (brewer) and Craft (alchemy) and you actually need a space between the first parenthesis "(" and the primary skill name. Also, if you're going to cite Craft (alchemy) as a construction requirement, you really need to give the number of ranks required. Is it a single rank? I guess so since all you need is to be trained in it. I don't recall any other wondrous items with just a 1 rank skill requirement, though.
*Next up, let's examine the actual effect of this item. You get to increase the caster level of potions by making them more potent. Not a bad idea on its face. But potentially jacking one up 4 levels higher with a DC 20 skill check seems a bit extreme for a 10 use item. Also, let's do the math. Potions cap out at 3rd level spells. So, CL 5th is what gets assumed. The only way this fermenting gyst can take it up to a maximum of CL 9th is if it's an alchemist or brewer doing his thing. And why is it a fermentation process? It's not like every potion has an alcohol content to it. I'm also annoyed that there's absolutely no spell requirements to make this stuff. Apparently, it's just an alchemical mixture or something. In my book, that makes it an alchemical item. Not a wondrous item. C'mon. Surely there's a transmutation spell effect of some kind you could have applied here. Even a metamagic feat like Heighten Spell would have helped sell this thing.
*So, ultimately, let's move past that. Why would someone actually want to boost the CL of a potion? I assume it's for the duration. Someone wants to extend bull's strength or barkskin, etc. for just a little longer in their adventuring day. Is that Superstar? To cheese out a few more minutes of an ability-altering potion or a few more rounds of displacement or blur or whatever? I don't think it is. So...
*...Vote to Reject
*I like the basic idea of this item. Sure, it doesnt do a TON but it is neat. Problem is, its not neat enough to overcome the many missteps.
*Reject.
*Maximum modified caster level is 9, so normal caster level max is 7. Assuming a 3rd-level potion, that's a potion costing 3 x 7 x 50 = 1,050 gp, which you're increasing to an effective cost of 1,350 gp, a difference of 350 gp.
*At the cost of one pinch of this stuff, which costs 450 gp.
*Spend 450 gp to get a benefit worth (at best) 350 gp.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
I am ready for the cold, harsh, judgment of my peers. Do not be gentle. All I ask is that you use all the lube.
Saddle of the Jade Charger
AuraStrong Transmutation; CL 13th
Slot Back; Price 77,450 gp; Weight 30 lbs.
Description
This high quality military saddle is decorated with jade and embroidered with beautiful equestrian imagery. When placed on a horse both the horse and its rider feel a particularly close bond to one another. Three times per day as a full round action the rider can activate the saddle to become truly one with his mount for one hour. This form has the upper torso of the rider and the lower half of the horse to create a centaur like creature that is a perfect meld of both with the personality of the rider. Its type is both animal and humanoid and neither horse nor rider can be targeted separately, it uses the higher of the pair’s physical ability scores, hit points, and saving throws. Neither horse nor rider may be targeted separately. It uses the rider’s equipment which changes to fit this new form with the exception of the feet slot of which the horse’s equipment is used. This form is also large sized, has the Undersized Weapons special ability. It retains all the special abilities, skills, reach, and any bite or claw attacks of the rider while also using the horse’s hoof attacks, base speed, and natural armor bonuses. While melded the creature is treated as mounted and for the purposes of feats and effects. If the fused pair is brought below 0 hit points or if the duration ends after one hour the effect immediately ends with the rider appearing mounted on the horse. Both retain the hit point total and any negative status effect that was inflicted upon the melded form.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, anthropomorphic animal, monstrous physique II; Cost 38,725 gp
Always looking for ways to better my stuff, so here it goes:
Hourglass of the Turning Tapestry
Aura moderate necromancy; CL 8th
Slot neck; Price 50,000 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
Description
This miniscule hourglass hangs from a translucent chain around the wearer’s neck. The chain is delicately thin and when the hourglass is used, small streams of red liquid pump through the chain and into the hourglass with the rhythm of its wearer’s heart before crystalizing into sand-like grains. The hourglass itself is one flawless piece of glass capped by two ebon pieces of metal; each embroidered with comets and stars and the flat sides possessing a sun and moon motif. The hourglass is attuned to the sun and if placed in the wearer’s palm as a swift action, the solar cap aligns itself with the sun’s current position in the sky, allowing the wearer to determine which direction is east if used before noon or west if used after noon. The hourglass’s solar cap points straight up at noon and straight down at midnight. The wearer can maintain this effect indefinitely, but they must keep one hand free in order to maintain the effect.
As a standard action, the wearer can turn the hourglass to reduce the duration of all effects or conditions active on themselves by a number of rounds equal to their hit dice. The hourglass affects both helpful and harmful conditions, such as spell durations and poisons. Conditions that trigger every round (such as poison) do not take effect as a result of the hourglass’s influence; a creature is not healed by fast healing, is not required to make saving throws against poison for skipped rounds, etc.; it only reduces duration. Effects that have no duration (i.e. are instantaneous or permanent) are unaffected. Each time the hourglass is used, the wearer’s Constitution is reduced by 2. This penalty can only be removed by resting for 8 hours; as only the passing of time can heal the wound, the penalty remains even after the hourglass has been removed. The wearer cannot invoke the hourglass if doing so would reduce their Constitution to less than 1.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, know direction or sands of time; 8th level spellcaster; Cost 24,500 gp
Boots of the Skittering Sorcerer
*No. Immediate movement action interrupts to nerf attacks isn't a Superstar idea or good mechanical design. I also don't really like the "more charges as you go up in level" mechanic.
*Vote to Reject.
*Extra 5-foot-steps for just 5000 gp? No.
*Uses per day based on your level? No.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
|
|
I would just like to start by saying that, yes, I did reformat the entry into that desired by the judges. So, yes, I already know that this format is not the one that would have gotten me through.
DOOR MOUSE:
Aura: strong Conjuration CL: 7-13 Slot: none Price: 20,180 – 47,100 gp Weight: 1 lb
This tiny metal rodent stirs to life when the command word is given and the Door Mouse is held near the target. Sniffing the air, it moves into the key hole and begins to eat through the lock mechanism. A must have for most adventuring parties without a rogue, these little lock pickers come in a variety of different materials and levels of effectiveness. But all of them will disable a lock by eating through the components that lock a door. These mice can even be used to disable traps. However, due to their indiscriminate nature, they have a 15% chance of accidently triggering the trap while disabling it.
Creating a link between the user and the mouse, any traps triggered by the Door Mouse eating through a lock are directed at the one who activated it. Distance does not alter this effect, but standard save rules apply and moving more than 50ft from the Door Mouse disables it. The Door Mouse takes one minute to eat through the lock and can be used once per day. An iron mouse eats through a DC10 lock, steel a DC15, gold DC20, mithral DC25, adamantine DC30.
EDIT: Going back through this, I can see the biggest mistake is the Craft feat that I put it. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid. Dear Lord, STUPID.
CONSTRUCTION: Craft Arms and Armor; minor creation, major creation, Cost iron10,090 gp, steel 12,985 gp, gold 15,890 gp, mithral 19,960 gp, adamantine 23,550 gp
RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16, 2011 Top 32
,
Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8
|
With respect, I submitted the Holster of Goblinkind.
Holster of Goblinkind
Aura Faint enchantment; CL 1st
Slot belt; Price 2,400 gp; Weight 1 lb
Description
This leather belt with attached empty holster always looks chewed upon and poorly made, no matter how new. Three times per day, as a standard action, the wearer can place an empty hand in the empty holster, then draw and point it at a target within 30 feet as if pantomiming drawing a gun. The wearer must then shout “BANG” loudly. The target of the effect must make a Will Save (DC 10) or immediately fall prone. The holster must be empty for this effect to work, and the wearer may, as a move action, dump the contents of the holster onto the ground. These items appear in the square that the wearer is in. Alternatively a single ranged weapon or wand may be stored in the holster. The wearer gains the benefits of the Quick Draw feat with these weapons or wands only.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Quick Draw, daze; Cost 1,200 gp
Thanks for taking the time to provide the feedback for those of us that didn't make the cut. It is one of the great things that make this exercise so valuable! Here is what I submitted, I look forward to the feedback.
The Dawnflower Candle
Aura faint conjuration and abjuration; CL 3rdSlot —; Price 450 gp; Weight 1/2 lb.
Description
This tall, gold colored candle made of the finest beeswax is roughly two inches in diameter and frequently found with an embossed sunburst on the side. Lighting the candle offers potent healing powers to those within the radius of its light while they rest.
When resting within the light of the candle the individual recovers hit points and heals ability damage at twice the normal rate for eight hours of rest. The individual is treated as if under the effect of the Remove Sickness and Resistance spells while the candle burns.
If an individual is resting within the light of the candle and receiving long term care they recover hit points and ability damage at four times the normal rate for eight hours of rest. The Remove Sickness and Resistance effects continue as before.
The Dawnflower candle will burn for eight hours. While possible to extinguish the candle simply by blowing it out, placing the candle in a lantern protects the precious flame from drafts. This will not interfere with its magical properties. If the candle is extinguished the effect is canceled and the candle’s magic is consumed. A cleric of Sarenrae can rekindle a prematurely extinguished Dawnflower candle and restore the candle’s magical properties, but this does not increase the time left to burn before the candle is consumed.
The individuals receiving the effects of the candle must remain in the candle’s light (5’ radius) for the entire 8 hours. Up to four individuals may benefit from these effects simultaneously.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, resistance, cure light wounds, lesser restoration, remove sickness, deity Sarenrae; Cost 225 gp
Mushroom of the Fey Ring
Thanks Neil (and the other judges) for the comments!
I struggled a bit with the annoying writing trying to keep the focus on the item itself and not the (supposedly mysterious) fey that actually modifies the wand. And it got more convoluted when I considered things like the PC(s) trying to catch the fey in the act.
This was tremendously helpful because I was worried about a few things that turned out not to be issues and things that turned out to be issues I wasn't worried about. Thanks!
Bracers of Skillful Manuevers
*It's just a +1 to +5 bonus on CMB rolls or someone's CMD score.
*This isn't really innovative. It falls in line with a cloak of resistance. Is that a necessary item for a book of magic items as a staple in the game? Sure. Is it demonstrating Superstar innovation and design strength? Not especially, no.
*Vote to Reject.
*Boring. Reject.
*Rejected.
*In essence, Feral, the core idea of your item was really rather mundane. If you compare this to the types of items that have made the Top 32 over the past 5 years, I think you'll see a marked difference. The judges certainly did.
*You were also really sparse here. Your item only took up 111 words. And several of those words owed to the fact that you were doing a multi-item for five different versions. So, you had plenty of room to do something more than just a bland CMB/CMD bonus.
*I will give you props, however, in applying the template fairly well. Putting together all the specifics for a multi-item like this isn't as easy as it sometimes appears. And you handled it pretty good.
Cloak of the Reaper
Aura moderate necromancy; CL 9th
Slot Shoulders; Price 26,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This tattered, pitch-black cloak perpetually issues forth wisps of shadow, leaving a faint, dark trail wherever it goes. At the beginning of her turn, the wearer may activate the cloak as a free action, causing the cloak to billow out shadows over the course of her turn. This may have two effects. The first is that the mass forms into a cloud of darkness out to a radius of 20 feet that moves with the wearer. This area is considered to be under the effect of deeper darkness, and any light spell of 3rd level or lower cast within the area is countered. Any creature within the area of darkness is affected as if by a caster level 9th fear spell as horrible dark whispers and visions of death cloud its mind (Will DC 17 partial). Creatures must save each round they are in the area, but creatures that successfully save are immune to this effect for 24 hours. Alternatively, the wearer may spend a full-round action coalescing the shadows into the form of a terrifying mount. This functions as a caster level 9th Phantom Steed, except the steed may bear only the wearer and possesses a fear aura (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary 300, 20 ft., DC 17). The wearer is not hampered by the cloak’s effects in any way and may dismiss an effect as a free action. The cloak may be used for up to 9 minutes per day, and the wearer may switch between effects as a swift action. Each effect is counted in 1 minute increments, even if the actual duration was shorter.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Items, Spell Focus (Necromancy), Deeper Darkness, Fear, Phantom Steed Cost 13,000 gp
1) Wall of text
2) Possible Monster/Spell-in-a-can
3) Possible Swiss Army Knife
4) Wonky mechanics with the Phantom Steed duration
5) Wonky mechanics with switching the effect
6) Too many uses in a day
7) Spell Focus (Necromancy) instead of Heighten Spell
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Book of Convincing
*Typo in the submission title.
*Just how many thaumaturgical geniuses lack debating skills anyway? Apparently those with 144,000 gp in their pockets to buy this thing?
*Then, we get the dreaded "...[a]t the GM's discretion..." line that's always fun to discover in an item's description. Only, it's not...
*And, they left off the Craft Wondrous Item feat entirely.
*Vote to Reject.
*Nonono, convin-icing is a type of magical icing
*Seriously, is this item really necessary? just pay your target 10,000 gp so they pretend to believe what you tell them
*Reject.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
|
|
Headband of Shrouded Memories
Aura faint abjuration and divination; CL 5th
Slot headband; Price 27,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This simple brass headband contains two emeralds which rest on either side of the head, usually at the temples.
The headband grants the user the ability to remove one specific piece of information (such as a name, face, location, or password, but not an entire conversation or block of time) from his memory for exactly 24 hours. The removed memory will return after the 24 hours have passed, regardless of whether or not the user is wearing the headband. Information removed in this way cannot be returned to the user’s memory at an earlier time. A user can only have one memory at a time removed in this manner.
Alternately, the user can choose to remove one specific piece of information entirely. The chosen memory is then stored in the headband itself. To regain a specific memory, a user must be wearing the headband and activate the memory retrieval as a standard action. A headband can store up to 10 memories at a time; these memories need not come from a single user. Once a memory has been stored in the headband, any user can retrieve the memories regardless of who placed them in the headband originally. If a stored memory is retrieved, it is erased from the headband.
Any user of the headband has knowledge of the number of currently stored memories but not whose memories they are or when they were placed within the headband, except for their own.
If a headband is destroyed, all memories stored within (both permanent and temporary) are lost.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, detect thoughts, nondetection; Cost 13,500 gp
Octopus Wraps
*It's black tentacles-in-a-can for all practical purposes. Or more appropriately, it's an octopus-in-a-can. Anyone won over by it? I'm not really a huge fan of encouraging the items that give you all the themed abilities of a particular creature. This one is generally well-written and professionally presented, though. Might be a designer worth giving a shot at the Keep pile and then seeing how it measures up to everything else.
*Weak Keep.
*Reject.
*This feels more like a supervillain's custom armor or suite of powers than a magic item. Not that I think the item is actually based on or borrowed from an existing supervillain (though it reminds me of Quagmire* from the Squadron Supreme universe published by Marvel), but that's what it feels like.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Appreciate any feedback on my item....thanks for taking the time to do this. I think it's clear everyone appreciates it.
Crown of Energy
Aura moderate abjuration and evocation; CL 5th
Slot head; Price 36,500 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This five-pronged crown appears to be crafted from glass or crystal. While worn, it grants the wearer the ability to absorb an incoming energy attack of any one type (acid, cold, electricity, fire, or sonic). For this attack, the wearer suffers no damage. After absorbing such an attack, the crown is filled with the absorbed energy, and thereafter grants immunity to attacks of that energy type. While the wearer is immune to the one energy type, she also gains vulnerability to the remaining four energy types. As a standard action, the wearer may discharge the stored energy in a ranged touch attack that deals 4d6 damage of the appropriate energy type. Once the energy is discharged, the crown is once again empty and the immunity and vulnerabilities are gone until a new attack is absorbed.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, protection from energy, scorching ray; Cost 18,250gp
Philosopher’s Apple
*Brace yourself. We blew off some steam assessing this one...
*"Feint" conjuration? Really? Wow.
*Do you really need to describe an apple as a "spheroid with...a slight dimple..." and "a squat azure crystal stem"...? C'mon. Just call it an apple made of adamantine!
*Ugh. A gravity item. Makes reference to "Planar Adventures rules." Yuck.
*How does the apple know how to strike "the last user" after it "implodes and disappears" before falling from the sky? And after it does, you suddenly become all Sir Isaac Newton and discover the principles of gravity? Can you say "joke item"...?
*Then, the Arcanamirium awards these items to those who excel in Planar Studies. LOL. Yeah, right. That's pretty much the only way you can get one, I guess.
*Good gracious. This thing is all kinds of messed up.
*Let it fall into the inescapable gravity well of a blackhole and never be heard from again.
*Vote. To. Reject.
*Reject.
*I'm not going to wait for our fellow colleagues. There is no way either of them would keep this.
*I was confused at first, wondering how this related to the philosopher's stone. Then I realized it's referring to Isaac Newton. :p
*Rejected.
|
Star Voter Season 6
|
Cantering Stilts
Aura faint transmutation; CL 3rd
Slot feet; Price 10,700 gp; Weight 6 lbs.
Description
Used by amorous bards for balcony serenades, street performers, and combatants in elevated battlefields, these 3 foot long polished wood stilts increase the wearer’s height and speed.
To activate, the wearer must have the leather straps fastened around their calves, stand vertically, and say the command word. Once activated, the wearer can mentally change their height (up or down) by extending the cantering stilts as much as 20 feet/round to a maximum of 60 feet as a move action. Additionally, the wearer’s horizontal base land speed increases with an increased acrobatic DC modifier for all move actions based on height.
An acrobatics check must be made at before any move action (DC 15).
- Success indicates a successful move action can be made. A speed bonus is added for horizontal movement.
- Failure by less than 5 indicates a stumble: the wearer moves 10 feet in a random horizontal direction (1d8; 1 is north with other numbers clockwise) from their starting square.
- Failure of 5 or more indicates a fall from the current height.
Height(feet)\Speed Bonus(feet)\Acrobatics DC
3-10\+0\+0
11-30\+5\+1
31-50\+10\+3
51-60\+20\+6
Cantering stilts (Hardness 5, 20 hit points) do not affect the wearer’s size category. A sunder attack which breaks the stilts or a successful trip against the wearer results in a fall. If the wearer falls or otherwise does not have their weight supported vertically by the stilts, then the device deactivates and standard falling rules apply.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous item, Levitate, Longstrider, creator must have 5 ranks in the Acrobatics skill;Cost 5,600 gp
Book of Convincing*Typo in the submission title.
*Just how many thaumaturgical geniuses lack debating skills anyway? Apparently those with 144,000 gp in their pockets to buy this thing?
*Then, we get the dreaded "...[a]t the GM's discretion..." line that's always fun to discover in an item's description. Only, it's not...
*And, they left off the Craft Wondrous Item feat entirely.
*Vote to Reject.
*Nonono, convin-icing is a type of magical icing
*Seriously, is this item really necessary? just pay your target 10,000 gp so they pretend to believe what you tell them
*Reject.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
This made me laugh. I calculated 144,000 gold from an item that could cast Charm Monster at will. I didn't put the Craft Wondrous Item feat because I forgot to.
Thank you for the feedback, and, if you read this reply, thank you for reading it. I'm definitely using this as a cursed item.
Whip Wrap of Ydersius
*It's a weapon disguised as a wondrous item.
*Vote to Reject.
*Agree with Neil.
*But it was cool. Too bad this isn't make a magic weapon.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
|
|
Thanks in advance for any critique and feedback.
Boots of the Steady Mountaineer
Aura faint transmutation; CL 3rd
Slot Belt; Price 5250gp; Weight 1 lb
DESCRIPTION
These sturdy dark brown leather boots are very common among dwarven kind. Their rugged and insulated sole make them excellent footwear for mountaineers.
When activated, crampons sprout from the soles binding the wearer firmly to the ground ignoring any kind of slippery condition and enabling movement on any given solid surface, even upside down. Activating the crampons is an immediate action while dismissing them is a move action.
While bound, the wearer’s movement is hampered to 5 feet per move action, making impossible to run, charge, jump or make 5-foot steps. Additionally the subject receives a climb speed of 5 feet and can climb with his hands free. He also gains a +4 circumstance bonus to his CMD when resisting a bull rush, overrun, pull, push, reposition and trip attempts.
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft woundrous item, Spider climb / Certain Grip; Cost 2625gp
RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32
,
Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8
aka SirGeshko
|
I'd appreciate feedback. Pretty sure I know where I went wrong, just want to see if my suspicions are correct. ^_^
Shinjitsu Mirror
Aura moderate divination; CL 9th
Slot None; Price 101,050 gp; Weight 7 lbs.
Description
This circular, gold mirror is about 2 feet in diameter and has the power to reveal all truths. It is often crafted to resemble a gleaming sun.
Any creature within a 30 foot cone of the face of the mirror feels compelled to honesty, affected by a zone of truth spell (DC 14 negates).
In addition, the wielder can speak the command word, once per day, and the mirror reflects the world as it actually is, as the true seeing spell. For instance, an invisible rogue's reflection would be visible in the mirror, while an illusory dragon would not. This effect lasts for 9 minutes.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, true seeing, zone of truth; Cost 50,650 gp
The Wanderer’s Market
*Not a whole lot of discussion to this one.
*Plot device. And a portable merchant. I recall an item like this in the Neverwinter Nights CRPG.
*Vote to Reject.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Light's Last Hope
*So its a light lantern plus a one use holy smite scroll (with a pumped up radius)? A holy smite scroll costs, what, 800gp? So why do I buy this?
*Also, I presume the "call out to Sarenrae" is a standard action, but players will likely want it to be a free action. I think that needs to be spelled out clearly in the item.
*Reject.
*Quite honestly, they lost me at "craft wonderous item". I also hate items where they include inscriptions on them...as if every single one always has that. It also presumes that a herald of a greater goddess personally answers your call. Um, no. It doesn't have to be.
*Also, this is basically just a SIAC of two merged effects...holy smite and hallow. There's nothing especially innovative about it except the flavor they tried to interweave with the magical effects.
*Vote to Reject.
*Not great. Does Bryla have nothing better to do?
*Reject.
*Rejected.
As with everyone else, thanks to all of the judges and Paizo staff or taking the time to coach up all of us who are trying to raise our standards to lead the hobby as a whole.
My submission was:
Tongue of the Excruciating Impressionist
Tongue of the Excruciating Impressionist
Aura:Moderate enchantment, divination; CL 7th
Slot: neck; Price: 45,000 gp; Weight: .5 lbs.
Description: The item is a dried humanoid tongue pierced by an iron hook. To activate it, the hook is pierced through the tongue of a living target victim, while the tongue is placed into the owner’s mouth, where it painfully grafts itself alongside their own tongue. The pain of placing the hook and the tongue inflict d6 hit points on both the victim and the owner, respectively.
Removing the tongue within four hours safely ends all spell effects; if this duration is exceeded, it will begin to inflict 1 hit point of cumulative bleed damage each minute until it is cut out, inflicting an additional d6 hit points of damage. The tongue’s abilities reset once the hook is removed from the victim and placed back into it for at least one round.
While the hook and the tongue are implanted, the tongue’s owner gains the ability to understand and speak the victim’s language, using their voice, while the victim is rendered mute. This grants the owner a +10 enhancement bonus to any disguise check that includes speaking, but a successful perception check against DC 20 + the owner’s Cha modifier will spot the second tongue. The tongue’s owner can activate its divination ability once during its duration, to learn a specific password or phrase from the victim, who must make a DC 20 Will save to resist the effect.
The effect requires the implanted owner and victim to remain within 1 mile of each other; should any condition be violated, the tongue’s effect ceases as if its duration has expired and the owner begins to take bleed damage as specified.
Construction:
Requirements: Craft wondrous item, dominate person, tongues ; Cost 22,500 gp
Boots of Trailblazing
*It's just reducing difficult terrain? Boring. And not Superstar.
*Vote to Reject.
*Reject.
*The special effects suggest game implications that are ignored.
*If "living plants shrivel or squirm out of the way" what happens if you kick a shambling mound? Or step on a vegepygmy? Or get hit with an entangle spell? You have to be careful with overly cinematic, and unnecessary, special effects descriptions because it implies the item has a power it does not actually have.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Sponge Stone Maid
*Okay. Brace yourself. We definitely blew off some steam with this one. Try not to take it too harshly.
*What's an "Iou Sponge"? Is that a typo? It's there twice, so I presume not. Or maybe that was an earlier name of the item that wasn't edited. And "Ioun Stones" are italicized, not capitalized.
*In any case, it's a bit half-baked. Not superstar in any event.
*And lets not miss the fact that the item is silent on its most important use--can it defeat cloudkill or other fog magic? It doesn't say it doesn't and it doesn't say it does. That's poor design. This is a first draft.
*Perhaps the sponge can be used to clean up the mess of this entry! Oh! Thank you, thank you, I'm here all week.
*Reject.
*Agreed. This item is too open to abuse. It becomes the item that defeats all gas effects, web spells, fungal hazards, you name it. In that sense, it makes adventuring too easy. Then, you layer on that it acts as an ioun stone with a continual flame-like effect that acts like an everburning torch and it's just becoming too SAK, too.
*Like you, I suspect the "Iou Sponge" is a typo. They likely called it an ioun sponge originally and forgot to change the name in the descriptive text. Regardless, ioun sponge is a really poor name...and honestly, so is sponge stone maid. It's like a fantasy version of Mr. Clean.
*Vote to Reject.
*Officer: So you're telling me that your idea of a Superstar item was a flying sponge?
Dude: Yes.
Officer: And that's when this "judge" person started beating you with a shoe?
Dude: Yes.
*Reject.
*Was it a slipper of spider climbing? Or a boot of speed?
*Rejected.
When I submitted the souldrinker's ewer, I thought that I might get away with a bit of backstory. Predictably, as soon as I had submitted the darned thing, I noticed Clark's comments about adding backstory ("None of the wondrous items in the Pathfinder rulebook have backstory") and realized that I was probably dead in the water.
Now that I've confessed my sins... What was the word on it?
Cloak of the North Star
*SAK item. Lots of SIAC effects. I find the ability for allies to summon you to their side more annoying than innovative. Great attention to detail in using the template, though.
*Weak Reject.
*Agreed. Reject.
*Rejected.
Wow these threads always fill up so fast. Hope you can get to my item. Thanks for doing this guys.
Aura moderate illusion; CL 9th
Slot -; Price 10,000 gp; Weight -
Description
This blue tinged equilateral prism is etched with geometric sigils and capped with ornate octopus-like tentacles wrought of cold-iron. When held the prism responds to incoming rays and rotates like a magnet to receive them. The user can automatically hit the prism with a ray to create a 15ft cone-shaped burst of prismatic light once per round. All creatures in the area of effect are hit by the ray. As an immediate action the user can also deflect a ray that hits her. With two prisms (one in each hand) the deflected ray instead reflects back at the caster.
Each ray that passes through the prism becomes a shadow evocation of the original ray, even if not of the evocation school or if higher than 4th level. The shadow evocation is treated as the same level as the original ray or 5th level if the ray had none. Creatures who believe the shadow evocation rays of the prism are barraged by a phantasmagoria of alien aberrations and horrifying vistas. Unless they succeed on a DC 16 Will save they will become afflicted with the schizophrenia insanity.
Up to four rays per day can pass through the prism but there is a 50% chance that the fourth ray will shatter the prism.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, shadow evocation, bestow curse; Cost 5,000 gp
Thank you for the feedback!
Destrachan’s Lament
Aura moderate abjuration, illusion and necromancy; CL 9th
Slot neck; Price 28,000 gp; Weight 2 lb.
Description
Destrachan’s Lament is a 3 inch circular mithril music box of bizarre design. Stylized destrachans clutch the music box in their mouths, while their tails turn into the chain. The inner workings are clockwork gears of platinum, gold and bronze that whir and click causing the music box to vibrate. The vibrations grant the wearer a +3 circumstance bonus against sonic-based effects. On the back the names of the three tunes can be found written in Undercommon. The sounds produced by Destrachan’s Lament are raucous and thundering, straining most definitions of music.
The wearer can command Destrachan’s Lament to play a tune once per day by speaking the name.
Discordant Reverberation – A screeching blast of music echoes in a 20 foot radius spread centered within 100 feet of the wearer. All creatures in the area of effect must succeed on a DC 18 Will save to avoid being sickened for 1d6+1 rounds. Creatures using hearing-based blindsense or echolocation who fail are also stunned for 1 round due to the overwhelming noise.
Imperceptible Drone – A shrill, infrasonic repeating chord that renders the wearer undetectable to hearing-based blindsense and echolocation per invisibility, greater for 10 minutes a day, which the wearer can divide into 1 minute increments.
Aegis March – A sonorous and clattering march grants sonic resistance 20 for 10 minutes to the wearer and up to 6 additional companions. All companions must remain within 30 feet to retain the resistance. The Aegis March is loud enough to be heard 150 feet away.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, bestow curse, communal resist energy, greater invisibility, resistance; Perform (percussion instrument) 7 ranks; Cost 14,000 gp
Stubborn Nail
*This one made the Keep folder and stuck around for awhile. Eventually, we passed over it in favor of some other items.
*I just don't like real world names, or in this case phrases. What, are we going to have a "Straw that broke the camel's back" next, followed by a "bridge too far" or "cart that goes before the horse". It's not clever, its lame.
*What is this for, really? Grapples, pins, someone else then pushes this nail through their armor into the floor and thus locks the guy into place. That is the only real game use for this. I just dont want my combats to become that. Pathfinder did a good job streamlining grapples and stuff like that with CMB, etc, but this is not what I want.
*That said, I think the mechanic is inventive--DC equals 10 plus hardness. So if nailed to paper or wood is different than pulling out of stone. Makes sense and its simple.
*Even though I have two big strikes against this entry, I love the simplicity of the mechanic and he got the template right.
*Hmmmm. Against my better judgment, I am voting to KEEP.
*I could see players getting mileage out of this item very much in keeping with an immovable rod. But, unlike that famous item, this nail lets you anchor something to another surface. And it isn't completely immovable. You can resist it, but the nail is stronger for whatever surface you push it into. That's a useful and innovative way for building the mechanics of the item. And I, too, like the simplicity of this item. I'm also not that crazy about the name, but thematically, it does fit. I mean, it'd have to be the most stubborn nail ever to try and pull out.
I'm also heartened by the amount of attention given to using the template correctly. Granted, they put the item name in all CAPS. I did that on one of my submission entries before, too. Primarily, because that's how it appears in actual Paizo products due to the formatting templates. Visually, they're trying to match and emulate Paizo's approach. That's actually a good thing for a designer to pursue, even if they're a bit overzealous in this case. That said, this item kind of retreads some ground that the immovable rod covers and it's more of a utilitarian item than something with powerful mojo. For now, I'll say...
*...Weak Keep.
*Kept.
*Seriously? It's a 24Kgp 3 inch nail? And a badly written submission to boot?
*Reject
*All-caps name. The R1 rules specifically tell you that you should not use ALL caps. It's right above the item template.
*I just don't get why you'd need this item when you can get the immovable rod for 5,000 gp.
*5,000 gp, DC 30 Strength check.
*This nail costs 24,000 gp, and the Strength DC when pushed into hardness 15 stone is 25.
*Reject.
*And that, sir, is why you are the man.
*Rejected.
Cloak of the North Star*SAK item. Lots of SIAC effects. I find the ability for allies to summon you to their side more annoying than innovative. Great attention to detail in using the template, though.
*Weak Reject.
*Agreed. Reject.
*Rejected.
I truly appreciate the feedback and the fast review. Thanks to all the judges.