What is your favorite "useless" magic item?


Pathfinder First Edition General Discussion

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Elondor wrote:
I LOVE immovable rods. I rarely have a rogue type without at least two. Need to climb something? Use two like a ladder. Want to balance high above a fight and rain death? Same idea. Also useful for: holding doors, tethering small boats, punching holes in moving objects, saving yourself from a nasty fall, trapping an enemy (or ally) against the ground, and the best one of all.... A makeshift swing.

One could also replace the cart a double hackbut uses.

Silver Crusade

I'm really enjoying a lot of the ideas I'm seeing go by, so far.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

immoveable rods + hammock = bed anywhere that's 1)off the ground, so no bugs/creepy crawlies disturbing your sleep, 2) can be placed somewhere hard to reach so that enemies won't be able to hit you/find you, and 3) it's a freaking hammock... anywhere!


rat_ bastard wrote:

I need to stat out a shrinking bed that I can carry around and put in my pavilion, as well as a bath tub and a self cleaning chamber pot.

That way my expedition pavilion can have a bedroom, a office and a bath room.

That's a simple matter of the shrink item spell (Perhaps a wand?) and a bag of devouring. But at some point you upgrade to Magnificent Mansion.


FuelDrop wrote:
immoveable rods + hammock = bed anywhere that's 1)off the ground, so no bugs/creepy crawlies disturbing your sleep, 2) can be placed somewhere hard to reach so that enemies won't be able to hit you/find you, and 3) it's a freaking hammock... anywhere!

60 feet up perhaps?

One I came up with the bird zapper. It deals 1d6 electrical damage to any bird in 200' range that craps on your cart, also came in house varieties.

Was inspired when I was working at a location where they kept doing it. Park under a tree, splat, park under a different tree, splat, park under the power lines, splat, park under open sky, splat. Never on the cars on either side just mine. I made the item when I decided it was personal since I'd come back to get some stuff signed and came out to find crap all over the car and none on the ones on either side of it.


Xot wrote:
rat_ bastard wrote:

I need to stat out a shrinking bed that I can carry around and put in my pavilion, as well as a bath tub and a self cleaning chamber pot.

That way my expedition pavilion can have a bedroom, a office and a bath room.

That's a simple matter of the shrink item spell (Perhaps a wand?) and a bag of devouring. But at some point you upgrade to Magnificent Mansion.

Magnificent Mansion is a 7th level spell, something I will not have until 16th level. Its also not as personal as the magic items I build either. I need to figure out how to use craft misc to enchant shrinking into items instead of the much more expensive permanency shrink item.


Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

I've always been fond of the muleback cords, as they allow me to dump strength without fear of having my movement slowed from encumbrance. They are also cheap enough to combine with a cloak of resistance with little effort or added cost.


Here is an idea for something useless

Cairne's Travel bed

Aura faint transmutation; CL 5th

Slot none; Price 3,200 gp; Weight 200 lbs (when full sized, 1 lb when shrunk.
Description

This supernaturally comfortable bed is always spotlessly clean and makes itself if left unattended and unobserved for more than a few minutes. Once per day it can shrink down to the size of dollhouse furniture.

Construction Requirements

Craft Wondrous Item, Shrink Item, Polypurpose Panacea; Cost 1,600 gp


RE: Immovable Rods

I had a player in one of my games get swallowed whole once. He deployed an immovable rod while inside the beast that swallowed him. I was amazed and flabbergasted at this technique. I didn't know what to do besides just shake my head in disbelief and pity my poor monster and the terrible digestive/intestinal problems this new malady was sure to create.

The Exchange

Our DM made up some malfunctioning items for a "magic dump" wildmagic area. The one that stood out the most and has come up in every game since (at our demand) is the "feces token". The idea we've made up to explain its existence is as a field fertilizer…

Though for us its a wondrous item token that summons 200 gallons of steaming dung in the area.

The applications are endless and hilarious.


rat_ bastard wrote:
DanMonster wrote:

Our DM made up some malfunctioning items for a "magic dump" wildmagic area. The one that stood out the most and has come up in every game since (at our demand) is the "feces token". The original idea we've made up to explain its existence is as a field fertilizer…

Though for us its a wondrous item token that summons 200 gallons of steaming dung in the area.

The applications are endless and hilarious.

Bag of Everlasting Dung

Aura faint conjuration (creation); CL 5th
Slot none; Price 500 gp; Weight 4 lbs.

Description

This leather bag exudes a pungent scent when opened. Each day it provides enough dried dung to fuel a small fire for 8 hours or fertilize a 20-foot-square patch of land.

Construction Requirements

Craft Wondrous Item, create food and water;
Cost

250 gp

By far one of my favorite useless magic items, and cheaper than a campfire bead.


best arguement for a veil of clean air i've ever heard. also, air bubble may be useful.


FuelDrop wrote:
best arguement for a veil of clean air i've ever heard. also, air bubble may be useful.

animal dung is actually a very common fuel source where wood is at best a luxury, its still used by Mongolian nomads to heat Gers. Of course they uses stoves now so the smoke goes out the chimney, but still its not as bad as it sounds.


Akin to daeron's instant fortress, I once had a character that owned a portable secure shelter. It was a miniature replica of the house that the spell conjured into existence. Once every 24 hours, if you spoke the command word, the replica vanished and the secure shelter appeared where you designated it. The house remained until a second command word shrank it back down. The great thiing was, it was the same house every time. We would leave extra supplies in there, arrows, food, water, potions, scolls, oh gods--we must have had three miles of silk rope piled up in it.

The bad thing was, it was the same house every time. Any damage it suffered remained until repaired! Sigh. I miss my portable house. :(

Master Arminas


Watch Lamp from the Magic Item Compendium.
WATCH LAMP
Price (Item Level): 500 gp (3rd)
Body Slot: Head
Caster Level: 1st
Aura: Faint; (DC 15) evocation
Activation: Swift (command)
Weight: —
This plain mithral headband has no distinguishing
features.

When activated, a watch lamp creates a globe of light that hovers at your shoulder and sheds light as a torch. The light follows you wherever you move. It can be extinguished with a second command.

Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item,dancing lights.
Cost to Create: 250 gp, 20 XP, 1 day.

I had a rogue that was slightly crazy as he seemed to survive every encounter, but everyone else died around him. I paid homage to Ocarina of Time, in that, as time went on, he thought the light from the Watch Lamp was a fairy named Navi (which was the command word to activate the Lamp). He would talk to Navi, and acted like Navi was his oldest friend. I used Tatl (the fairy from Majora's Mask) as the second command word, which he believed meant Good-bye in the fairy language.

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