My Paladin used a public toilet, what alignment am I?


Off-Topic Discussions

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Anyway, my LG Paladin of Asmodeus was forced to use a public toilet during last night's game.

The toilet was situated near an orphanage. It was clearly used often by the children living there, and maybe also by those fat nuns of Darklight Sisterhood.

I told my GM that I want to use that toilet, but he said that it will violate my code. I didn't know why, but he said that if I used the toilet I will have to atone for my sins and my alignment will shift to CN with all the associated consequences.

Figuring out that one of the nuns must have desecrated the toilet, I ambushed the Big Boss Nun during the night and cut her into little pieces, which I then hung around the orphanage to remind anybody that messing with public toilets is bad, OK?

So... what now?

Dark Archive

Gorbacz wrote:

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Anyway, my LG Paladin of Asmodeus was forced to use a public toilet during last night's game.

The toilet was situated near an orphanage. It was clearly used often by the children living there, and maybe also by those fat nuns of Darklight Sisterhood.

I told my GM that I want to use that toilet, but he said that it will violate my code. I didn't know why, but he said that if I used the toilet I will have to atone for my sins and my alignment will shift to CN with all the associated consequences.

Figuring out that one of the nuns must have desecrated the toilet, I ambushed the Big Boss Nun during the night and cut her into little pieces, which I then hung around the orphanage to remind anybody that messing with public toilets is bad, OK?

So... what now?

Well i would not hesitate to say chaotic evil.You obviously have no regard for the public at large by using such a toilet, they run rampant with disease and just plain stink.Besides someone could come in while you occupy a stall and give you the little foot nudge and this could lead to a whole lot of problems.

Shadow Lodge

He explodes, no save.


Atonement... Atonement ...we don't need no stinking atonement!


Neutral Good. You are no paladin. Slaughtering the wicked, mutilating or torturing them is obviously a good deed. There is no clear lawful bent to the act, so you are hosed.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Dammit, I forgot to ask my DM if the city has any laws on public toilet or a court that could rule on the matter...


Now you will be put on alignment offenders list. Shame on you.


You annointed an unholy water font with holy water. That;s clearly a chaotic neutral act.

Shadow Lodge

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Don't cross the streams.


You should have no need of atonement as long as you remembered to flush after you used it.

For some reason many people have problems with this action. I consider them heathens in need of smiting.


Gorbacz wrote:
Sorry, couldn't resist.

Your Paladin may be any alignment.

You (Gorbacz), on the other hand, are clearly chaotic evil.


Nah, he just has terrible Wisdom score which contributes to his low Will save.

Shadow Lodge

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He HAS a Wisdom score? News to me...


Ah, s&%@. Now look what I went and started.


I know that toilet. It has a hidden camera beneath. Clearly you are the victim here, and thus are not culpable for your crimes. You are still Lawful Good.


It's actually a Chaotic Evil act, and will result in tentacles coming out of the toilet, at least if we follow the common Paizo board logic I've seen lately :U


Icyshadow wrote:
It's actually a Chaotic Evil act, and will result in tentacles coming out of the toilet, at least if we follow the common Paizo board logic I've seen lately :U

Tentacles? Only if the Paladin in question is female and attractive.


I don't care anymore, since my idea of Pathfinder/Golarion being taken seriously as a series was already ruined by that one thread...especially considering the whole plot point of the corrupt Cleric was more or less reliant on the DM (and player) kicking canon in the crotch real hard.

Enjoy the chaos. *Implodes, only to suddenly return as an Evil Finnish Chaos Beast*


Midnight_Angel wrote:
Icyshadow wrote:
It's actually a Chaotic Evil act, and will result in tentacles coming out of the toilet, at least if we follow the common Paizo board logic I've seen lately :U
Tentacles? Only if the Paladin in question is female and attractive.

i thought only boys had tentacles. ;-)


Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:
i thought only boys had tentacles. ;-)

Ah, but that's why they'll only come out... to grapple the (female) Paladin who woke them.

Icyshadow wrote:
I don't care anymore, since my idea of Pathfinder/Golarion being taken seriously as a series was already ruined by that one thread...especially considering the whole plot point of the corrupt Cleric was more or less reliant on the DM (and player) kicking canon in the crotch real hard.

Well, there is a difference between taking PF seriously, and taken every single derailed or trolling thread on these forum seriously. The latter only leads to madness.


Everything makes the tentacles come out.


*Wriggles over to Angel, muttering in Finnish and thus making me automatically incomprehensible*

The Exchange

Might as well post this here.

serious look at things:
June, 1979

D&D Variant

Another View of the Nine-Point Alignment Scheme

by Carl Parlagreco

With the expansion of the D&D alignment system, there seems to be a bit of confusion as to who can do what, or can’t do what, and more than a few expeditions have been bogged down in arguments over whether chaotics should be allowed in parties, or if neutral goods are compelled to kill neutral evils, or if its open season on neutrals by every- body else. Since I’m not too fond of this type of arguing, and am very fond of charts, I made one up which has a brief list of rules and guidelines which should be followed by each alignment. It needn’t be followed any more strictly than the DM wishes, but I see it as a great aid to play. Now, a brief explanation on the items.

On the matter of keeping one’s word, I would assume that Lawfuls would do this, as if people never did what they said they would do, things wouldn’t be very orderly, now would they? Neutral and Chaotic Goods would only feel compelled to keep their words to persons were basically good. For Neutrals and Chaotic Neutrals, giving one’s word would probably be little different from not giving one’s word. For Neutral and Chaotic Evils, their word would be next to useless.

The attacking of an unarmed foe seems to me to be a pretty nasty thing to do, and one which Evils would thrive upon. A Good would at least have the decency to allow the poor fellow to draw his sword, even if he weren’t allowed to put on his armor. Neutrals, on the other hand; probably wouldn’t be fool enough to let an angry 15th level Lord get hold of a sword, and then themselves, especially if they were of fairly low level.

Poison is another no-no for Goods. This restriction, however, is primarily directed towards its use against intelligent creatures. Wyverns and things of that sort I consider to be fair game for anyone with a little belladonna.

Helping those in need is, once again, something a Good would do. Neutrals would do it as the whim struck them, or if they were offered a reward. Evils wold probably only do it if offered a sizeable reward, or if they thought they could use the services of the rescuee.

The major precept, at least in my mind, about Law and Chaos is the attitude towardsOrganization. Lawfuls inherently like organization, which means working together with others. Chaotics would shudder at the thought of co-operating with others. Dealing with Higher Authority is the same way. For a Lawful, one must follow the directives of those above, or the order of things would quickly crumble into chaos. This is precisely what Chaotics want, and they would tend to not like following orders in most cases.

Trusting in the inherent worth

Being trustful of organizations is another Lawful characteristic. main effect of this is to have Lawfuls putting their money into banks or hotel safes, while Chaotics would rather do it themselves, like burying it, or hiding it in a hollow tree, or whatnot.

As I said, these aren’t firm restrictions, but open to interpretation by the DM. You have probably also noticed that I didn’t say too much about the neutrals in most of the explanations. This is due to the fact that they can usually go either way on a matter. Because of this, they, especially the True Neutrals, will take a lot of watching before you can pin them down.

LAWFUL NEUTRAL

Will keep their word if they give it

May attack an unarmed foe

May use poison

May help those in need

Prefers to work with others

Responds well to higher authority

Trustful of organizations

LAWFUL EVIL

Will keep their work if they give it

Would attack an unarmed foe

Will use poison

Will not help those in need

Prefers to work with others

Responds well to higher authority

Trustful of organizations

NEUTRAL GOOD

Will keep their word to others of good alignment

Would not attack an unarmed foe

Will not use poison

Will help those in need

May work with others

who Indifferent to higher authority

Indifferent to organizations

TRUE NEUTRAL

Will keep their word if in their best interest

May attack an unarmed foe

May use poison

May help those in need

May work with others

Indifferent to higher authority

Indifferent to organizations

NEUTRAL EVIL

Will not necessarily keep their word

Would attack an unarmed foe

Will use poison

Will not help those in need

May work with others

Indifferent to higher authority

Indifferent or organizations

CHAOTIC GOOD

Will keep their word to others of good alignment

Would not attack an unarmed foe

Will not use poison

Will help those in need

Prefers to work alone

Responds poorly to higher authority

The Distrustful of organizations

CHAOTIC NEUTRAL

Will keep their word if in their best interest

May attack an unarmed foe

May use poison

May help those in need

Prefers to work alone

Responds poorly to higher authority

Distrustful of organizations

LAWFUL GOOD

Will keep their word if they give it

Would not attack an unarmed foe

Will not use poison

Will help those in need

Prefers to work with others

Responds well to higher authority

Trustful of organizations

CHAOTIC EVIL

Will not necessarily keep their word

Would attack an unarmed foe

Will use poison

Will not help those in need

Prefers to work alone

Responds poorly to higher authority

Distrustful of organizations


Did your paladin put paper towel in the toilet when the sign CLEARLY stated despose of all paper in the provided waste basket? If So, then you must atone.

The nun thing? they probably had it coming...

Paizo Employee Senior Software Developer

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You know what, I think parody threads aren't really a good idea anymore. Can we not do this?


Gary Teter wrote:
You know what, I think parody threads aren't really a good idea anymore. Can we not do this?

No more parody, no more inflammatory or misleading titles, no more satire, no more trolling, and one new thread a week. Does that work for you?

No, that is not sarcasm. I'm actually willing to hold to that if it'll calm down all the trouble I riled up.

Oh, and no more discussion of alignment, either.


Those of you who have tainted the precious canon and integrity of the adventure paths with tentacles shall now face the wrath of those very tentacles you abused!! *Roaring some swear words in Finnish before tentacling everyone guilty of the accused crimes (probably quite many of you)*

Shadow Lodge

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Gary Teter wrote:
You know what, I think parody threads aren't really a good idea anymore. Can we not do this?

Including FaWtL?

Silver Crusade

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
TOZ wrote:
Gary Teter wrote:
You know what, I think parody threads aren't really a good idea anymore. Can we not do this?
Including FaWtL?

Well that was a curveball there, well played ;)


Gary Teter wrote:
You know what, I think parody threads aren't really a good idea anymore. Can we not do this?

The real question is, what alignment is Gary Terer's? I vote for Chaotic Evil with some Neutral Good thrown in.

Silver Crusade

Is it NE if you do not flush?

Silver Crusade

I think this paladin's alignment is Regular.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

If it's NE let it mellow, if it's CE flush it down...


I've had "flushes" that were chaotic evil and lawful evil too. They bit repeatedly on the way out.

Then I shouted, "At ease you vile turd!"

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