Hitting on monstrous women


Lost Omens Campaign Setting General Discussion

Dark Archive

so how would someone go about chatting up the monstrous beauties like the medusa, harpies or even nymphs? (maybe not so much for actual love but for survival... maybe) say for a fighter or (gasp) a commoner to do this...


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How you doin?


You have to hope they don't want to kill you or eat you, or do other bad things now or in the future.
For the most part humanoids are not mates, but victims. Well a nymph might not kill you, but good luck getting anywhere.
Unless the GM is being nice I would not even bother the first two at all. Even the nymph is not someone you can just chat up in most games. Maybe if you revere nature, and are not like the other humanoids you might have a shot.

nymph fluff from bestiary wrote:
Many have lost their lives in vain search of the beauty of the nymph, and many more to the madness and obsession their grace has upon minds and bodies unprepared for their companionship. Yet the nymph herself is not a cruel creature—a guardian of nature's purest places and most beautiful realms, she treats those who respect her and her abode with kindness, and may even favor someone who takes her fancy with magical gifts. Yet those who would seek to abuse or harm her or her home quickly find that behind her beauty is a fierce protector more than capable of defending her charge.

A woman scorned with supernatural powers to back it up. It aint worth it bro. :)


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An excellent question. When hitting on the beastlier members of the fairer sex, it's important to keep a couple things in mind.

It's time for Rekkstuff VanHalen's guide to the ladies!

Tip 1: Never shower. The monstrous ladies don't, and they'll respect you for it.

Tip 2: Make sure they are aware that you could kill them at any time. Maybe come close to removing an arm, then heal them back. They need to knew you're the one in control here. Ladies love a man who's in charge.

Tip 3: Watch for love bites. Poison is a giant B. Also, don't gaze longingly into her eyes if she's got a gaze attack.

Tip 4: If all else fails, brain her with your guitar, find her sister, and hit on her instead. The added experience could be just what you need for that last bit of oomph. Besides, monstrous women have lots of siblings. You ain't lived until you've had a nymph AND all her sisters, my friend.

Good luck, and remember: liquor can go a long way.


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DEATH BY SNU SNU!!!

Dark Archive

there are worse ways to go...


Hag eating out... It almost happened to my FR party last session.


There's no way I'd come to like a girl with such strange horns.
Then why did you...
I told you I love unusual animals...

Liberty's Edge

From a safe distance.


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So... Come here often?


The pesh-dealing aberrant bloodline sorcerer (an albino Mwangi) I'm running in the Legacy of Fire AP got into an amorous relationship with a certain harpy. I can't remember exactly what was said...something about being able to treat her better than the gnolls...and things just went from there.


Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Starfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Oh, we've all been there.

I recommend showing up at the bars earlier and drinking less.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16

I once played a wizard who after rescuing a young adult copper dragon developed a relationship with her. In this case, the wizards was an academic and was mostly interested in the intriguing opportunity to first hand experience and document the gestation and life cycle of half dragons, but still, it counted! The biggest obsticle was sneaking around her father, who did not approve (and talk about an angry dad protecting his daughter!)

But, for what it's worth, saving your romantic interest's life would be a good way to start off in a favorable light.

Liberty's Edge

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JoelF847 wrote:


But, for what it's worth, saving your romantic interest's life would be a good way to start off in a favorable light.

After 25 years of saving the princess and not getting to 1st base, Link is not your poster child for this comment.


Misery wrote:
JoelF847 wrote:


But, for what it's worth, saving your romantic interest's life would be a good way to start off in a favorable light.

After 25 years of saving the princess and not getting to 1st base, Link is not your poster child for this comment.

Or Mario.

Shadow Lodge

Misery wrote:
After 25 years of saving the princess and not getting to 1st base, Link is not your poster child for this comment.

Someone's never won Zelda II.


I did it with a frost giantess once.

Goblins do it in the street!

Dark Archive

hmmm, it probably wouldn't be too hard to hit on a cloud giantess... though if it goes wrong....

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16

Misery wrote:
JoelF847 wrote:


But, for what it's worth, saving your romantic interest's life would be a good way to start off in a favorable light.

After 25 years of saving the princess and not getting to 1st base, Link is not your poster child for this comment.

Yeah, but those are prudish human princesses. Monster women don't have such tighly controlled social norms. (or I could just say that monster women are easy, but I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings.)


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It's much easier if your CHA is at least 14 and you can take the Harkness feat.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16

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J.S. wrote:
It's much easier if your CHA is at least 14 and you can take the Harkness feat.

In older editions, it was called the James T Kirk non-weapon proficiency.


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Just be yourself and show an interest in her. Let her talk sometimes. Try to establish some common interests.


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Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

Just tell her she reminds you of your little toe....that you have a feeling you're gonna end up bangin' her on the coffee table.


Kryzbyn wrote:
Just tell her she reminds you of your little toe....that you have a feeling you're gonna end up bangin' her on the coffee table.

Wow...

Just...wow.

I like it.

And acutally, I've played quite a few characters who chatted up monstrous females. (Half-ogress in one campaign, Lamia in another, Rakasta in DD1e, kobold sorceress, etc.)

And as a monstrous male, chatted up a bunch of monstrous and nonmonstrous in several games.

You play it like any other, you flatter her, you ask her about herself, you flash some gold from time to time, you take her on fun dates...

It cna be a very interesting roleplaying experience (especially if the GM is female...)


There's a reason there are so many half-breeds.


I think I shall explore this concept with my next Serpentine bloodline sorcerer (yay diplomacy class skill! dont have to waste a trait on it!)....

No one in my play group has attempted this yet, with females at least... A few years ago for 3.5 our drow bartered our way out of a maze by first impressing the minotaur (rolled 1 number less than she needed to intercept and stop the charge. Resulted in the whole 'grabbing the horns and being pushed back' deal)... Then (to avoid TPK) wound up sleeping with the thing.

Fortunately that campaign ended before we figured out if it impregnated her... My GF specifically stated if her character was pregnant that would be the end of the character, it becomes an NPC xD. So at least she got to enjoy it until the game dissolved due to IRL issues.

Edit: Plus.... Medusae (Gorgons in greek mythos) are hot.


I had a Tiefling Cleric back in the day who fell for the Medusa slave they freed from the BBEB's lair. ...That was an interesting RP.


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A friend of mine was once playing a minotaur with a large focus on a herd mentality and animistic urges. If people start fighting, he'd fight with them, if people started running, he'd join in (he inadvertently won a race in this fashion, and he spent most of his free time in the marketplace eating fresh produce. He was basically roleplaying an anthropomorphic cow.

In any case, we once found ourselves in an altercation with a trio of harpies, and this minotaur fell under her siren spell. Well, he responded to his amorous feelings as he felt a wild animal would. I'll spare the details, but there was a charge attempt followed be several opposed strength checks, and two of the three harpies ended up fleeing in terror.


In my PF game we had a player who made a male character (a draconic-bloodline sorcerer no less) that attempted to sleep with everything. So I threw a somewhat attractive Silver Dragon (polymorphed into a human mind) in the campaign. This went well for them considering that said dragon is currently pregnant due to some interesting fortitude saves and less well considering that said dragon now wants a marriage and the party contains two good-aligned clerics. (Of Shelyn, the god of love and Sarenrae, the god of honesty as well)


martinaj wrote:

A friend of mine was once playing a minotaur with a large focus on a herd mentality and animistic urges. If people start fighting, he'd fight with them, if people started running, he'd join in (he inadvertently won a race in this fashion, and he spent most of his free time in the marketplace eating fresh produce. He was basically roleplaying an anthropomorphic cow.

In any case, we once found ourselves in an altercation with a trio of harpies, and this minotaur fell under her siren spell. Well, he responded to his amorous feelings as he felt a wild animal would. I'll spare the details, but there was a charge attempt followed be several opposed strength checks, and two of the three harpies ended up fleeing in terror.

I think we have a winner here. +1

Thought that Minotaur wasn't really hitting on anyone in the traditional sense...

Sczarni RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

Lyingbastard wrote:
There's a reason there are so many half-breeds.

That is why the Lamashtu Mask from the old campaign setting book was so fun...

Liberty's Edge

"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is soft and spongy." -- Futurama


Mike Schneider wrote:
"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised." -- Zapp Brannigan, Futurama

Fixed that for you.


martinaj wrote:

A friend of mine was once playing a minotaur with a large focus on a herd mentality and animistic urges. If people start fighting, he'd fight with them, if people started running, he'd join in (he inadvertently won a race in this fashion, and he spent most of his free time in the marketplace eating fresh produce. He was basically roleplaying an anthropomorphic cow.

In any case, we once found ourselves in an altercation with a trio of harpies, and this minotaur fell under her siren spell. Well, he responded to his amorous feelings as he felt a wild animal would. I'll spare the details, but there was a charge attempt followed be several opposed strength checks, and two of the three harpies ended up fleeing in terror.

+1


Shadowborn wrote:
Mike Schneider wrote:
"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised." -- Zapp Brannigan, Futurama
Fixed that for you.

DEATH BY SNU SNU!!!


Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:
Shadowborn wrote:
Mike Schneider wrote:
"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised." -- Zapp Brannigan, Futurama
Fixed that for you.
DEATH BY SNU SNU!!!

It's the only way to go...

Dark Archive

we need some fiction for this...


Kryzbyn wrote:
Just tell her she reminds you of your little toe....that you have a feeling you're gonna end up bangin' her on the coffee table.

Thank you former president clinton, courtesy of the Bob and Tom show.


ulgulanoth wrote:
we need some fiction for this...

We need some non-fiction history books about kings and popes passing away that way (well, maybe not with monstrous women).

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