Teddy versus Tesla: who would you back?


Off-Topic Discussions

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Former VP of Finance

Cosmo says: Teddy Roosevelt vs Nikola Tesla would be like Superman vs Batman.

What do you think, Off-Topic'ers?


Which era of Teddy? This is relevant.

Paizo Employee Customer Service & Community Manager

tesla

Former VP of Finance

Lilith wrote:
Which era of Teddy? This is relevant.

Assume each at his peak of awesome.

Paizo Employee Software Test Engineer

I'd have to back Tesla. FOR SCIENCE!

Grand Lodge

TR

But it's alot closer than I would've guessed.

(How many Undersecretaries plunge the country into war based on an uncomfirmed wire report without discussing the news to anyone, let alone his superiors?)


Chris Self wrote:
Lilith wrote:
Which era of Teddy? This is relevant.
Assume each at his peak of awesome.

I have to pick between these two, when at their peak?

Oh man. ;_; This requires thought. Maybe bacon.

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

Did Roosevelt build an Atomic Robot? No? Tesla wins.

Grand Lodge

And Batman wins, too.

Not as close a contest.

Paizo Employee Sales Associate

2 people marked this as a favorite.

As much as I love SCIENCE!, I'm afraid it would go down like this:

.
.
.

Tesla: I have a building that can throw lightning at any point in the continental United States at any time with no warning.

Teddy: Throw you into the sun.

Tesla: But I can clone myself and others with...

Teddy: Throw you into the sun.

Tesla: But..

Teddy: Faster than thought, and throw you into the sun.

Tesla: Right.

Teddy: Glad we're on the same team, Nikki!

Tesla: *sigh* Me too.

The Exchange

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I thought Tesla...

Teddy: This is it Niko - end of the line!
Tesla: Oh! Bear!
Teddy Turns to shoot it.
Tesla Beats Teddy on head with coal shovel.

Liberty's Edge

Lilith wrote:
Chris Self wrote:
Lilith wrote:
Which era of Teddy? This is relevant.
Assume each at his peak of awesome.

I have to pick between these two, when at their peak?

Oh man. ;_; This requires thought. Maybe bacon.

Bacon wrapped Shiner Bock beer brats.

Paizo Employee Franchise Manager

3 people marked this as a favorite.

The deciding factor, more even than their respective eras, is the venue. If they're in the wilderness, I know who I'm going to side with (much as it would pain me to do so). Anywhere with electrical currents or running water, however, and I gotta go with my boy Tesla.

Paizo Employee Sales Associate

yellowdingo wrote:

I thought Tesla...

Teddy: This is it Niko - end of the line!
Tesla: Oh! Bear!
Teddy Turns to shoot it.
Tesla Beats Teddy on head with coal shovel.

Teddy was probably saving us all from that Bigfoot.

The Exchange

Mark Moreland wrote:
The deciding factor, more even than their respective eras, is the venue. If they're in the wilderness, I know who I'm going to side with (much as it would pain me to do so). Anywhere with electrical currents or running water, however, and I gotta go with my boy Tesla.

Three words: Wireless Electricity Transmission!

Liberty's Edge

Mark Moreland wrote:
The deciding factor, more even than their respective eras, is the venue. If they're in the wilderness, I know who I'm going to side with (much as it would pain me to do so). Anywhere with electrical currents or running water, however, and I gotta go with my boy Tesla.

Tesla was two years older than Teddy. Eras?

;-)

Former VP of Finance

Hmmm...Nikky's entry in the Journals of Awesome is 29 words longer than Teddy's.

Is he 29 words more awesome, or is that statistical noise?

The Exchange

...Rumor has it that Leonidas (leader of the 300 Spartans), Attila the Hun, Teddy Roosevelt, Sergeant Rodger Young and Simon Bolivar were all the same guy with different styles of facial hair. (Of course, rumor didn't say that until I went and posted it on a message board as a totally whacked-out immortals-walk-among-us theory...)

The Exchange

I admit I've noticed TV news has a tendency to exploit the Alternate Universe Theory as a substitute for actually checking their facts. "If infinite alternate universes exist, then whatever we report must be true in some universe... and that's good enough for us!"

Whoops, I forgot to put my money down. I'm betting on Tesla for the win, but not until the third round.


Roosevelt vs Tesla? Bah, Sam Clemens would go steampunk ninja on both their a**es.

Grand Lodge

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Teddy. He can reduce a fearsome animal to a children's toy.

[plug]Have you folks tried Who Would Win? yet? It's like rules for what we do anyway!! [/plug]


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Teddy Roosevelt got shot in the chest, through his superior knowledge of anatomy and hunting deduced that since he wasn't coughing up blood that meant he wasn't shot in the lung, and so proceeded to give a ninety minute presidential candidate speech, all the while his shirt becoming more and more soaked in his own blood.

Tesla, being a genius, would deduce the following: "Teddy Roosevelt is one hardcore crazy ass m@!##%%#&*#&, and his teeth would beat the s%+& out of Gary Busey's teeth even though he won't be born for a few more decades. Ergo, I'm not EVEN messing with him."

And so Tesla runs, and Roosevelt eats a Tesla coil with those big pebbles in his mouth, all the time laughing with his face red as a beet, looking like he's straining out a Captain's Log, and telling stories about all this stuff he shot in Africa: demon elephants, kongomato bat people, mokele mbembes, you name it, he shot the damn thing.

Roosevelt shot the first chupacabras in Cuba.

Liberty's Edge

Spanky the Leprechaun wrote:
Tesla, being a genius, would deduce the following: "Teddy Roosevelt is one hardcore crazy ass m@+$#~$%*!&+, and his teeth would beat the s!*@ out of Gary Busey's teeth even though he won't be born for a few more decades. Ergo, I'm not EVEN messing with him."

Ahahahahaha.

Anyway what's up with all this interest in Tesla all of the sudden? I'm going to have to abstain because I don't know that much about him.


They're both dead. Who cares?

Grand Lodge

Nah, the Bull Moose reading his speech after being shot is a sign of stupidity, Heath, I have to take a point away from TR for that one.

Silver Crusade

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Opting out.

This is like being asked to choose your favorite child.

A neutral and NSFW look at both men:

Theodore Roosevelt

Nikola Tesla

Silver Crusade

Cancel wrote:
They're both dead. Who cares?

Oh like a little thing like that is going to keep 'em down.


W E Ray wrote:
Nah, the Bull Moose reading his speech after being shot is a sign of stupidity, Heath, I have to take a point away from TR for that one.

Teddy Roosevelt's teeth rise from the underworld to eat your hyperbole, your strawmen, and your head for dessert.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Tesla made the teleportation ray to Barsoom, but he had to have Roosevelt come along to protect him from the tharks and banths and s#$% while he tried to kidnap Dejah Thoris from Helium and make her his queen.

I think that pretty much sums it up.

Silver Crusade

"Death had to take Roosevelt sleeping, for if he had been awake, there would have been a fight." - Thomas Marshall, on Roosevelt's death

"He'll be a child of the storm." - Midwife who assisted in Tesla's birth
"No, of light." - Tesla's mother


Cancel wrote:
They're both dead. Who cares?

This comment shows that you fail to see the point in this exercise..


My vote would go to Tesla, if he had the time and equipment.


Time's up, sparky.

Grand Lodge

Mikaze wrote:
"Death had to take Roosevelt sleeping, for if he had been awake, there would have been a fight." - Thomas Marshall, on Roosevelt's death.

Holy crap -- I had heard this before but forgotten it until you mentioned it. Thanks!

Shadow Lodge

TR was a badass. But Tesla had a death ray. You can't out-badass a death ray.


Tesla because he has a really cool sounding name. Tesla sounds like a superhero or racing car, Roosevelt sounds like a sandwich.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Kthulhu wrote:
TR was a badass. But Tesla had a death ray. You can't out-badass a death ray.

I'm going with Tesla. TR would be all, "Bully this" and "I shot that" but then Tesla would just evaporate him and it would be over. Some may claim that TR would just shoot first and ask questions never, but TR was also considered a gentleman of his time.

Shadow Lodge

Ask this question again when the Warehouse 13 agents shoot someone with a Roosevelt.

The Exchange

Cancel wrote:
They're both dead. Who cares?

"To a wizard, death is just a metaphysical inconvenience" -Jack Deth


Come on, guys! Nikola outfitted Teddy! They were a monster-hunting, shoggoth-killing, Yellow Cult-busting SuperDuo!


Tesla! We need a mad scientist president.

Lantern Lodge

Teddy.

in a one on one fight his skills at woodcraft and stalking game would give him the edge, even if Tesla has superior death ray technology.

Of course in a first strike scenario, Tesla would obliterate Teddy from half a continent away.

Grand Lodge

For the record,

I love this Thread.

Kudos to Cosmo.

Spoiler:
Now answer the damn phone and help me with my order!

Contributor

Tesla, 'cause this.


Tesla. The Tesla/Teddy disparity is too great. Unless, are we talking about TEDDY BARBARIAN?


Tesla. As if another option existed...

The Exchange

Must go with Teddy. Tesla married a pigeon and was addicted to the number 3. Teddy just liked his bears.


Hell, it this point, we should be digging them both up and stitching their corpses together ala Fronkensteen the create the biggest bada** fighting science undead ever created... Undead Tesleveltbatman!

Quickly too! I hear the Joketwain and Riddlewilde are planning something fiendishly deadly for old Gothamtown this fortnight.

Or maybe I should quit snorting vampire glitter?

Silver Crusade

Bluebell Golden Nostrils wrote:

Joketwain

Riddlewilde

OH GOD YES

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