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Got 2 Bad DMs here. Worst ever? Dunno, but these two examples struck me as particularly crap:
#1 --> Rules? We don't need no stinking *rules*!
DM: The Captain of the Guard screams in horror as the cursed sword possesses him, warping his body into a fiendish form!
ME: Okay, all I've got left is "magic missile," so I guess I'll use that.
DM: Okay, roll to cast the spell.
ME: Okay, it's 7 damage
DM: No, roll to cast it.
ME: What, like an attack roll? It's an automatic hit.
DM: No, make a spellcraft check.
ME: That's not how spellcraft checks work . . .
#2 --> Long Story, Lame Payoff
This DM has a hard-on for Planescape. Seriously, it's a common joke amongst our group that every encounter must have at least one outsider as an enemy, and that no matter where the game starts, within 15 minutes, you'll be in or on your way to Sigil. In one campaign, we talked him into running a seafaring game with the challenge that it not turn into another planes romp. He agreed to the challenge, even going so far as to proclaim that the gods themselves are so distant that divine magic is almost unheard of. So, we all set up characters of varying seafaring themes and prepared for some good old-fashioned piratical fun.
DM2 sets the scene, describing our majestic ship and a few interesting NPCs, including the captain, who gives us our first piratical task; We're going ashore for supplies! Two of us players are regular DMs for our group, so our immediate thoughts go to "oh, cool, some dockside shenanigans before we put out to sea on a fun adventure!" Nope. Turns out the captain's favorite apple-seller is out of apples because kobolds have been stealing from his orchard . . .
We go to investigate the orchard, diploma-cize the kobolds into explaining themselves, and find out that "ghosts" have run them out of their mines, forcing them to raid nearby farms. Investigating the mines reveals . . . a bunch of spooky stuff with no encounters until . . . CHAIN DEVIL!
We quit right there.
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rape them with each other.
Some days, you think you've heard everything.
And then you read something like this.
That was a Forgotten Realms game, and the Thayan minister of conjuration (I forget how they called their leaders, but they had leaders for every school) kidnapped one of our allies (a former PC of mine I retired a while earlier).
Red wizards of Thay. I played an evoker once
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we also had a thing we would do called "coconut" if one of us yelled coconut we would all attack the same time, we never planned it it was just the "situation is deteriorating" and combat is beginning kinda of thing.
*combat and melee ensues*
LOL, our group doesn't even pretend to use code words. Losing arguments with talkative bad guys usually end in... "Oh yea?! How about we roll initiative!" :D
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That was a Forgotten Realms game, and the Thayan minister of conjuration (I forget how they called their leaders, but they had leaders for every school) .
Zulkir of Conjuration.
Red wizards of Thay. I played an evoker once
BEST.
GAME.
EVAR.
i <3 RWoT. Its not for this thread because it was seriously an awesome game.
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Worst PC ever: In an old 2E D&D game, a friend of mine played a Thief (back then, Rogues were called Thieves) colorfully named "The Barfing Bandit".
Every time our party was in a town, he would split off from the group, burglarize some homes, and vomit in their food supply as his "calling card". Even when we were fighting monsters, as soon as the critter was dead, he'd stick his finger down his throat and hurl on the dead body. I have no idea what the fascination with vomit was, but his character became an infamous bandit within the game world because he was so twisted (but kinda funny).
When we found treasure, he would spew all over the stuff he wanted to keep for himself, because he knew none of our characters would want it after that. Whatever was vomit-free, we would split among the rest of the party.
Lol, the good old days...
When we found treasure, he would spew all over the stuff he wanted to keep for himself, because he knew none of our characters would want it after that. Whatever was vomit-free, we would split among the rest of the party.
Screw that, the clean spell was a cantrip, just cast that.
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That was a Forgotten Realms game, and the Thayan minister of conjuration (I forget how they called their leaders, but they had leaders for every school) kidnapped one of our allies (a former PC of mine I retired a while earlier).Red wizards of Thay. I played an evoker once
On one session I describe to two characters scene where they see punishment of a slave under direction of a bald, tattoed, red-clad wizards who is clearly disappointed he can't execute the slave for failing to protect his wares but due to problem of importing slaves to the city they are in it would be too costly.
One of the players reaction: those Tevinter mages...
Back to the topic: this thread makes me happy of my players. I have seen a few bad players but nothing on the grand scale of stupidity/jerkness as some of the cases told here. Mere problems with some poor sods overestimating their ability to roleplay, picking a very cliche characters themes, a few chronically unable to understand that actions have consequences.
The worst case I can think of was one very aggresive and irritating player. She was prone to ignoring anything she didn't like. One of the sessions, when acted in offical capacity as law enforcer investigating murder and possible instance of witchcraft she stole victim's personal effects and rejected any criticsm with the words "finders keepers"...
Worst PC ever: In an old 2E D&D game, a friend of mine played a Thief (back then, Rogues were called Thieves) colorfully named "The Barfing Bandit".Every time our party was in a town, he would split off from the group, burglarize some homes, and vomit in their food supply as his "calling card". Even when we were fighting monsters, as soon as the critter was dead, he'd stick his finger down his throat and hurl on the dead body. I have no idea what the fascination with vomit was, but his character became an infamous bandit within the game world because he was so twisted (but kinda funny).
When we found treasure, he would spew all over the stuff he wanted to keep for himself, because he knew none of our characters would want it after that. Whatever was vomit-free, we would split among the rest of the party.
Lol, the good old days...
that sounds kinda like one of my characters.. cept he wouldn't pee on stuff just so he could take it from the party. He was a lupin necromancer who, when all other means failed, would pee on something to kill it.
Mostly things that where crazy regenerating monsters. Like a vampire we killed, but it was going back to its coffin. I didn't have anyway of really defeating it despite being a necromancer, So I peed into his coffin.
Then there was a skeleton, who, when killed would turn to dust then regenerate a few rounds later. So.. I ate part of of the dust taking some damage. Then, while our ranger followed my lead on eating it, deficated and urinated on the skeleton. So the DM made the dust skeleton blow away, thus proving it was the way to defeat the monster.
Ah, that poor DM and the stupid stuff my crazed necromancer does...
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Hmmm....worst player...
Guy shows up for an IM game with a druid raised in the wild and only speaks Giant, a language nobody else had. I was excited to play ranger who would be a scout by actually heading off alone to scout the way, but this druid wouldn't let my ranger out of her sight. I figured the player was just having a bit of fun so I played along and had my ranger succeed at losing the druid. Anyway, the party gets it a big fight with something and my ranger comes up behind the enemy and starts doing some damage with his bow. Then this druid starts doing damage to my ranger with her bow and screaming in terror (apparently, this was an instant messaging game, after all). Everybody else is trying to figure out what's going on and we eventually get the druid subdued and the enemies defeated. Player now gets huffy that we knocked his druid unconscious! No explanation!
Anyway, fast forward a few more sessions. Some NPC this druid spontaneously developed a love affair with fell in battle, so crazy druid starts running after the fleeing (wounded, but still dangerous) BBEG by herself. The rest of the group (most of us nearly out of everything also) figure that the unstable druid has finally lost it, and being a good-natured bunch, start pursuing her to calm her down and keep her from getting skewered by the big baddie. The druid has the Run feat, however, so we can't catch up. We shout, we call to her, she doesn't stop. So my ranger fires a single arrow over the druid's head (specifically) to get her attention. Druid now turns around and comes to all out attack my ranger. The group gets her subdued again. Player is livid that I shot at his druid.
Player is tired of my ranger picking on her druid, so makes up a new druid that does speak a normal language to come and "rescue" this other druid. The new druid will accompany the group and be a "better fit", provided of course that my ranger apologize to the crazy druid for shooting at her. Fine, whatever.
Then the new druid (literally) says that I (the player) have to apologize to the new druid's player for shooting at his character. Apparently, everything he'd done was totally in keeping with his character; she believed my ranger was a demon because he had red hair and had managed to "disappear" on her in the first session, so it was perfectly natural for her to attack him. Since I couldn't accept that, I was apparently a "hack-and-slash" player with no concept of "true role-playing involving inter-party dynamics". Druid player left group.
Rest of group broke apart after one more session.
Real post now:
Back in the 3.5 days, before WoTC was bought, I had a player who was absolutely king of jinyness. He would score through each 3.5 sourcebook and pick the feats that would make his character completely broken. He was unemployed at the time, so he would spend all of his time coming up with these completely off the wall metamagic feat combos and then prepare justification on why its legal and how it would work. By the letter of the book, they were legal, however in the spirit of the book, they were completely broken.
Of course his 'letter' of the book was the 2 sentence summary on the huge list of feats made for referencing, he didn't bother to read the entire feat description.
It got to the point where I actually emailed Wizards for their ruling on 3 or 4 feats, that allowed his cleric to cash in all of his turn attempts (which he took the feat for EXTRA turn attempts) to cast a spell a bazillion levels above one he could actually cast. It was a extended Righteous Might that lasted for 24 hours. It was a combination of feats that I dont remember off the top of my head, but he built this character for the sole purpose of doing this combo.
Wizards stated what he was doing was totally breaking the spirit of the feat, because he wasn't high enough level to have the spell lots open for a 12th level spell. I thought that would be the end of it.
Nope.
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We once had a player who was so unbearable that we now celebrate the day he left our group each year (Remember, remember, the 16th of September).
He played in a number of games with use while we were in college, and each and every time, he showed up with some form of boorish, abrasive, "look at how tough I am" warrior. Now, I can appreciate this kind of PC from time to time - it's fun to revisit stereotypes now and again, but he did this EVERY SINGLE TIME.
Beyond being a supremely dislikable individual, this guy just had TERRIBLE ideas in play. I think his crowning glory was when he poured oil on himself and set himself on fire before attempting to grapple an assassin vine, which had grappled the rest of the party. Now first of all, he's just set himself on fire. Now, I've always had an appreciation for unconventional tactics, but this just seems like a bit much. Secondly, he's voluntarily entering a grapple with an assassin vine. Finally, he's entering a grapple, while on fire, that contains the rest of the party, so now we're all taking fire damage every round.
He also got a kick out anything that he thought would illicit shock from the other players. He had a character that tried to eat people he killed, and another time, when we were hunting a werewolf, he suggesting dousing ourselves in wolf urine, or perhaps even coupling with a female wolf in order to create jealousy in our quarry. His biggest problem though, was the attitude he took with others within the game world.
He picked fights with NPCs, usually those placed as hooks, which would result in us missing out on the reward for a given adventure, if not the entire adventure itself. This hostility extended to fellow PCs as well...
In the 1st adventure one of one game, before the PCs had all become acquainted, he thought my character was "too weird" on account of some baseless question I had been asking. His solution, of course, was to attack my character. In the ensuing fight, his character was killed, at which point I bore the brunt of a verbal chastisement, culminating in a lecture about how "you just don't kill other PCs!" He left our game for a while after that.
When he finally returned, as we knew he would, we knew we had to send him packing for good. Now this was a large man, and we were all scrawny college nerds, so we devised a simple plan to make him leave on his own, as opposed to risking a confrontation by asking directly. We decided that on the first session of this next game, his character would die, and immediately. Thankfully, it worked. A few fudged die rolls saw the end of his characters, and an upturned table in the study lounge. He went on a lengthy rant in which we were all accused of being backstabbers, of being prejudiced against him because he worshiped Satan (a fact we had been entirely unaware of), and in the end, he apparently placed a curse on us before storming off of the campus. We immediately went to our favorite dining haunt to celebrate, and have repeated that practice every September 16th.
I mentioned this in another thread, but I'll repost it here. RPGNet had a thread that ran into the high thousands about worst player/DM ever. The stories ranged from homes where there was cat feces on every surface to a guy who would wear adult diapers so he wouldn't have to leave the game table to self-proclaimed martial arts masters who would threaten other players. Even stories about actual weapons being pulled and used when fights between players broke out.
I wish I could find that thread again. It was mind boggling.
Zulkir of Conjuration.That was a Forgotten Realms game, and the Thayan minister of conjuration (I forget how they called their leaders, but they had leaders for every school) .
That's the word!
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It was a extended Righteous Might that lasted for 24 hours.
Actually, that's a persistent righteous might.
And frankly, it was more a case of really broken feat used in a really obvious combination to another really broken feat.
You get Divine Metamagic to use turn undead for using metamagic without extra levels instead of its original use, which was nothing.
And for metamagic, you use Persistent Spell, which makes a personal spell last all day.
They made it less bad with several versions of the feats, but basically, it remained horrible.
I personally think persistent divine power is much better than prm. I used that without Divine Metamagic (and just used higher-level slots) and I stopped because it was shameful. That was back with the first version of the feat when it only cost 4 spell levels.
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Now first of all, he's just set himself on fire. Now, I've always had an appreciation for unconventional tactics, but this just seems like a bit much. Secondly, he's voluntarily entering a grapple with an assassin vine. Finally, he's entering a grapple, while on fire, that contains the rest of the party, so now we're all taking fire damage every round.
No, that's an awesome plan. That totally has to work. I mean, he set himself on fire. One of the most painful, well, pains, there is, or so I've been told. A plan containing that can't help but be awesome.
Oh, no, wait, I forgot that you're supposed to do it to others and not to yourself.
He also got a kick out anything that he thought would illicit shock from the other players. He had a character that tried to eat people he killed, and another time, when we were hunting a werewolf, he suggesting dousing ourselves in wolf urine, or perhaps even coupling with a female wolf in order to create jealousy in our quarry. His biggest problem though, was the attitude he took with others within the game world.
Oh yeah? When my party wanted to attract a werewolf, they clad themselves in raw meat and sausages.
And it worked! After a fashion. About three dozen stray dogs would not leave them alone :D
In the 1st adventure one of one game, before the PCs had all become acquainted, he thought my character was "too weird" on account of some baseless question I had been asking. His solution, of course, was to attack my character. In the ensuing fight, his character was killed, at which point I bore the brunt of a verbal chastisement, culminating in a lecture about how "you just don't kill other PCs!" He left our game for a while after that.
By "he left our game for a while" you mean "you drugged him up and dumped him somewhere in the wilderness without clothes and it took him some time to get back", right?
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I mentioned this in another thread, but I'll repost it here. RPGNet had a thread that ran into the high thousands about worst player/DM ever. The stories ranged from homes where there was cat feces on every surface to a guy who would wear adult diapers so he wouldn't have to leave the game table to self-proclaimed martial arts masters who would threaten other players. Even stories about actual weapons being pulled and used when fights between players broke out.
I wish I could find that thread again. It was mind boggling.
Maybe this thread? The link is to Part 2, but the first post is just comedy gold (an awful, frightening gold, but gold all the same).
Maybe this thread? The link is to Part 2, but the first post is just comedy gold (an awful, frightening gold, but gold all the same).I mentioned this in another thread, but I'll repost it here. RPGNet had a thread that ran into the high thousands about worst player/DM ever. The stories ranged from homes where there was cat feces on every surface to a guy who would wear adult diapers so he wouldn't have to leave the game table to self-proclaimed martial arts masters who would threaten other players. Even stories about actual weapons being pulled and used when fights between players broke out.
I wish I could find that thread again. It was mind boggling.
Epic messed up OP.
Maybe this thread? The link is to Part 2, but the first post is just comedy gold (an awful, frightening gold, but gold all the same).
LOL..yeah, that's it. Although I've never read the entries on Part 2, but yes, Part 1 was godawful, forsaken, verboten, hideous, hilarious, and just plain wrong.
Thanks for the link!
It was a extended Righteous Might that lasted for 24 hours.Actually, that's a persistent righteous might.
And frankly, it was more a case of really broken feat used in a really obvious combination to another really broken feat.
You get Divine Metamagic to use turn undead for using metamagic without extra levels instead of its original use, which was nothing.
And for metamagic, you use Persistent Spell, which makes a personal spell last all day.
They made it less bad with several versions of the feats, but basically, it remained horrible.
I personally think persistent divine power is much better than prm. I used that without Divine Metamagic (and just used higher-level slots) and I stopped because it was shameful. That was back with the first version of the feat when it only cost 4 spell levels.
It was persistent righteous might.
Although I gave the guy props for cheese-mongering a bunch of broken feats into a game-breaking construct, the persistent arguing, phone calls, emails, and ranty LiveJournal comments about how Wizards didnt know what they were talking about earned him the worst player evar.
Although I gave the guy props for cheese-mongering a bunch of broken feats into a game-breaking construct, the persistent arguing, phone calls, emails, and ranty LiveJournal comments about how Wizards didnt know what they were talking about earned him the worst player evar.
Wait. he said the people that wrote the book (literally) were wrong...About the contents of said book? WoW. Douchemonger extrodinaire
That was a Forgotten Realms game, and the Thayan minister of conjuration (I forget how they called their leaders, but they had leaders for every school) kidnapped one of our allies (a former PC of mine I retired a while earlier).Red wizards of Thay. I played an evoker once
I think he meant the "ministers of magic", which are called Zulkirs.
*edit* Oi, ninjaed. I should really read the thread to its conclusion before throwing out smart-aleck factoids. ^^
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My worst DM story is from last year, and I've already posted it on several "worst DM" and "last straw that made you quit the group" topics. (I honestly love these sorts of topics. So keep 'em coming!)
The DM in question, oh, let's call him Trey. First off, Trey had a whole slew of personal issues (he suffered a back injury at work after being in the army, and so was on painkillers all the time. Except at least one player, who was a long-time friend of his, has a sneaking suspicion that the injury may have been a scam), but whatever. The thing is, Trey had three major flaws as a DM:
1. He always insisted on having a huge group and wouldn't (or couldn't) cope with having a small group. If only one or two players showed up (as was the case almost every session, because for some mysterious reason very few players were willing to put up with Trey for more than one or two sessions) he'd either assign absent players' characters to players who were present (meaning each player would be stuck with one-two characters they had little to no knowledge of on top of their own character, and were expected to roleplay them effectively, and according to their personalities), or he'd just heap on a bunch of NPCs (of course including his god-like DMPC, a half-minotaur [?] named Moo whose stats were never able to be determined by any of us) to make the party large enough. And because we had seven-eight PCs or more, every single fight was against over a dozen creatures of our CR or higher, including one noteworthy fight involving a demonic spider that could one-shot every single character in our group (except Moo, of course). If we complained, he would point out that we had a party of so many characters, with high point-buy, and so there was no reason we should have had any difficulty (despite the fact that the enemy always outnumbered us two-to-one, and very few people in the group could hit their ACs reliably). In the end, one player realized our only hope in any given encounter was to use every resource we had to buff Moo (who could easily take 200+ damage at 5th level and still be standing strong). Oh, and if the DM ever got pissed at you? Expect Moo to suddenly take no interest in joining the fight (more than once spending his turn doing, literally, nothing).
2. Trey did not have a very firm grasp on the 3.5 ruleset (which we were using). He understood it fairly well, except when he remembered a rule from a previous edition (such as heavier weapons affecting your initiative) or just something he made up and mistook for an actual rule (like heavy armor reducing your reflex saves). Worst of all, though (and one of my all-time pet peeves for DMs), he often implemented on-the-spot house rules because, in his opinion, "they made the game more realistic". He ruled that Darkvision ceases to function for thirty minutes any time you are exposed to bright light (including that from a torch), because, and I quote, "the human eye cannot see in the dark for thirty minutes after being exposed to light". There were so many things wrong with this (most notably the fact that Darkvision is a MAGICAL ability, possessed by FICTIONAL BEINGS that are NOT human, yet he was comparing this FICTIONAL MAGICAL ABILITY to human physiology) that I found myself constantly biting my tongue every time this came up (and this came up often). I bit my tongue for DM flaw number 3, which I'll get to in a moment. Other noteworthy houserules included ruling that dead bodies became difficult terrain which you could NOT end your turn in no matter what (which led to one player learning to make tactical use of every dead body on the battlefield to make it so that melee-oriented BBEGs couldn't stand close enough to us to attack) and that attacking through an ally's square with a ranged or reach weapon was literally impossible. (He even tried demonstrating why that last one was impossible, using a physical representation of a horribly flawed interperetation of battle mechanics.)
3. Any time you disagreed with him, be prepared to suffer for it. If you didn't back down IMMEDIATELY, be prepared for the game to suddenly turn against you in every way (including, I kid you not, NPCs and other PCs being given temporary divine powers that you can in no way benefit from), and if that doesn't work, then Trey will be as rude and patronizing to you as he possibly can. Don't expect him to EVER see your way whatsoever. And if you manage to have a hard-and-fast rule to back up your interperetation of one of his rulings? Sure, he'll allow it (you know, the actual rule that's printed in the book), but be prepared for him to bring that up every single time you disagree with him ("I put up with your complaint saying that heavy armor doesn't affect reflex saves, even though it totally should, and now you expect me to let you fire through an ally's space? Impossible.") as if, you know, he did you some kind of favor by FOLLOWING THE RULES IN THE DAMN RULEBOOK.
Overall, Trey was a bitter, hateful person that didn't really care about who or what was listening to him tell his story, he was going to tell his story whether you liked it or not. He actually complained about how he felt none of the players were acting like they cared about the plot- even though by this point, THE ONLY PC THAT WAS AROUND WHEN THE PLOT WAS INTRODUCED WAS HIS DMPC. The combination of every single battle being a near TPK (literally, every single battle resulted in at least two party members being dropped into negatives, and Moo was our only healer- oh, did I forget to mention that the unstoppable tank was a healer? His healing spells were the only resource that seemed to have any limit) and the constant revolving door of players meant that nobody even knew what the story was, let alone wanted to figure it out. The railroading was intense. One session involved one player (let's call him Brent) being wrongfully imprisoned in a town we had come across (after having had no luck whatsoever on getting a single job lead or even successfully buying or selling anything in this town), and then the town gets hit by some sort of a meteor, and the DM wanted the party to investigate. Brent refused, saying he didn't care about this town and he was glad that it got destroyed (which, regardless of his alignment, was not an unexpected reaction, especially when going near the meteor meant taking negative energy and dexterity damage every round), and the DM set a bunch of guards to attack him because he felt he was acting out-of-character.
I emailed Brent about this time, telling him that I was planning on starting my own game (for completely unrelated reasons- I decided I wanted to try out a Pathfinder campaign, and at the time I hadn't quite admitted to myself how much the DM had pissed me off in the interest of keeping my sanity) and I asked if he would be interested in joining. He immediately said yes (after the DM had personally picked on him several times mid-session, as well as berated him over instant message) and I asked one of the other players as well, making it clear that I had no problem with him playing in both my game and Trey's. Well, apparently Trey found out, immediately assumed it was Brent's doing, and immediately kicked Brent out of his game (even though he was still willing to give Trey's game a shot). Trey then insulted Brent over instant message, including many personal jabs and threats, and e-mailed everyone else in the group complaining about how Brent was trying to "destroy his game". So in response, Brent e-mailed everyone in the group with a direct transcript of all of the conversations Trey had with him over instant message.
Next week, I had every member of Trey's group at my apartment starting our first Pathfinder game.
On one hand, I feel bad for disrupting the game, but at the same time, the reason his game fell apart is because he's a terrible person first (and a terrible DM second), and it was already coming apart at the seams even before I made my own group. It would have happened sooner or later.
Holy s*** man,
that is bad.
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Woah.
I hope this guy doesn't come knocking at your door dressed in a half-minotaur furrie costume (just the top half) at 2am armed with a +1 baseball bat of revenge.
Thats pretty damn bad.
Any time you disagreed with him, be prepared to suffer for it. If you didn't back down IMMEDIATELY, be prepared for the game to suddenly turn against you in every way (including, I kid you not, NPCs and other PCs being given temporary divine powers that you can in no way benefit from).
I'll even back this one up with an example. One of the last sessions involved the hulking demonic spider I mentioned in my previous post (which was a random encounter, by the way) that could one-shot any of us in the party. We encountered said monstrosity along with about fifteen black skeletons that had an AC higher than any of the fighters could hit on a 15, and any time you hit them, your weapon got stuck (requiring at least a DC 20 strength check and a move action to pull free). Oh, and the battle began by them surrounding us, full stop, roll initiative (no way to avoid it). But I'm getting distracted here. The important thing is that we were fighting a battle there was no possible way we could have won, with homebrew monsters any one of which was a formidable challenge for a party of our level. So, we fled.
One of the players (well, several of the players, but this one in particular) was absent, and his character (a Paladin) was in the hands of the Brent fellow I mentioned earlier (assigned by the DM). Brent normally played a wizard, and a very self-preserving one at that. When we began to flee, Brent noted that not only would it be impossible for the Paladin to get away from the enemies (as he was wearing medium armor, and thus had lower speed than the rest of us- and who even knew what the demonic spider's speed was), but he figured the Paladin would probably stay back and fight to give the rest of the group time to escape. I don't know what the actual player would have done, but it seemed like a fair assumption to make, given the circumstances. Well, Trey disagreed. Harshly. But he allowed it, after several snide comments about how Brent clearly didn't know how to roleplay someone else's character correctly, and how it was poor form to treat someone else's character as expendable. (As if we had a choice. And as if it was even Brent's idea to play someone else's character in the first place.)
We got back to town, just barely alive. And who did we see there? The Paladin we had left in the forest. Wearing a suit of enchanted mithral full plate. And some sort of +5 sword. And something that gave him acid resistance. He attacked the Wizard (who did literally nothing to fight back, I think he even dropped his weapon if he even had one on him) and got dropped to single-digit hit points. The rest of the party ganged up on the Paladin (who continued to attempt to thrash the Wizard, though was unable to actually kill him) until the rogue killed him with a lucky sneak attack. And what happened to all of this uber-magic gear that this Paladin inexplicably got? It exploded in a flash of divine energy when the Paladin was killed.
And Trey still accused Brent of roleplaying the Paladin wrong. Stay back and sacrifice yourself to save your allies? No, Paladins are supposed to attack helpless unarmed noncombatants who don't fight back (who, story-wise, had literally nothing to do with the Paladin being left behind). The Paladin's player was in for quite a tale when he came back the next session...
worst PC i have dealt with.
Babs, CE bisexual hermaphrodite half rainbow dragon (rainbow colored red dragon) half angel (homebrew winged humnaoid, not the standard angel) knight.
played by my obnoxious adopted brother larry in tuesday tony's group
the darn thing spent 90% of it's time engaging in silly immature immoral sexual activities than it did doing anything else. he borrowed my dice and i had to spend 2 hours sterilizing the darn things.
i do not know how this abomination got it's knighthood and i don't understand how it was maintained with all these heavily immoral violations of the knight's code of conduct.
i haven't really had enough DMs to really give ratings.
but i swear that the guy was destined to be a fatalite. the character was a literal channeling of his perverse sexual cravings. he's worse than Glenn Quagmire from family guy.
i only get a few dirty looks there with my psychotic loli japanese schoolgirl serial killer (CE human TWF fighter with twin katanas), when larry made this PC, the entire group (except him) spent half the session puking thier guts out from this grotesque abomination. even i wretched in disgust.
played by my obnoxious adopted brother larry in tuesday tony's group
Seriously, that line made the entire post worthwhile.
Was Daryl and Daryl with him?
he's worse than Glenn Quagmire from family guy.
Giggity.
worst PC i have dealt with.
Babs, CE bisexual hermaphrodite half rainbow dragon (rainbow colored red dragon) half angel (home brew winged humanoid, not the standard angel) knight.
played by my obnoxious adopted brother Larry in Tuesday Tony's group
the darn thing spent 90% of it's time engaging in silly immature immoral sexual activities than it did doing anything else. he borrowed my dice and i had to spend 2 hours sterilizing the darn things.
i do not know how this abomination got it's knighthood and i don't understand how it was maintained with all these heavily immoral violations of the knight's code of conduct.
i haven't really had enough DMs to really give ratings.
but i swear that the guy was destined to be a fatalite. the character was a literal channeling of his perverse sexual cravings. he's worse than Glenn Quagmire from family guy.
i only get a few dirty looks there with my psychotic loli Japanese schoolgirl serial killer (CE human TWF fighter with twin katanas), when Larry made this PC, the entire group (except him) spent half the session puking their guts out from this grotesque abomination. even i wretched in disgust.
I think that player NEEDS some serious freaking therapy.
And I hope your dice didn't get damaged during sterilization.
I think that player NEEDS some serious freaking therapy.
And I hope your dice didn't get damaged during sterilization.
i was lucky they didn't. i used my mother's entire hidden stash of peroxide and a whole double roll of charmin toilet paper.
i was lucky they didn't. i used my mother's entire hidden stash of peroxide and a whole double roll of charmin toilet paper.
That still is a lot of resources for sterilizing dice, but for that player, I would myself make that exception. And add about 2 hours per side in the sun to UV any peroxide surviving organisms left behind.
We got back to town, just barely alive. And who did we see there? The Paladin we had left in the forest. Wearing a suit of enchanted mithral full plate. And some sort of +5 sword. And something that gave him acid resistance. He attacked the Wizard (who did literally nothing to fight back, I think he even dropped his weapon if he even had one on him) and got dropped to single-digit hit points. The rest of the party ganged up on the Paladin (who continued to attempt to thrash the Wizard, though was unable to actually kill him) until the rogue killed him with a lucky sneak attack. And what happened to all of this uber-magic gear that this Paladin inexplicably got? It exploded in a flash of divine energy when the Paladin was killed.
This is so awful it's funny.
I had put the white house number i got out of the phone book on my cellphone, thinking it was the white house info or tours line, little did i know it was the actual switch board,
I had been watching the unit, and there is a scene where the big guy say here talk to my boss and on his cell phone it says "white house can i help you"
so i had that on my phone, and the peanutbutter player we will call him derik was my roomate at the time. and we were involved in a prank war called angry but proud.
the whole idea was to do something so outrageous you didn't know as the victim of the prank whether to punch them in the face or salute! because you were so angry but proud
the prank war had gone on for a while, i had sent his personnel info on myspace saying he had cancer and any body could call him day or night, he had taken out a gay personal ad for my on yahoo singles (despite the fact that I was doing street preaching down town)
we were playing a mean game of dnd when he started to act up and i asked him so stop and wait for the party, he said "you dont have the authority"
i figured this was my moment so i flipped my phone open hit speed dial 2 and said here talk to my boss ...... he took the phone and promptly threatened the presidents life. I was shocked and stunned he had finally crossed the line.
the next day the secret service showed up at my work, and interrogated me, and i had to explain what i was doing and why and i then explained to them it was my roommates fault and pointed them to derrik. one of the finer moments of my life was being able to walk into our apartment see him sitting at the table eating cereal. and i got to loudly announce "derik these are the secret service they want to talk to you" in the end
we were cleared he got a super warning and was told they would ruin him academically if he ever stepped out of line again. he was a student teacher at our local college.EDIT: he now does stand up comedy/poetry readings in new york city and has a whole bit about the...
Just watched the video, frikken hilarious, but one question I have, are you the guy who did acid and ran naked to Taco Bell?
Yeh I wanted to ask that too.
Yeh I wanted to ask that too.
THE GAMING WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW!!!
Epic messed up OP.Maybe this thread? The link is to Part 2, but the first post is just comedy gold (an awful, frightening gold, but gold all the same).I mentioned this in another thread, but I'll repost it here. RPGNet had a thread that ran into the high thousands about worst player/DM ever. The stories ranged from homes where there was cat feces on every surface to a guy who would wear adult diapers so he wouldn't have to leave the game table to self-proclaimed martial arts masters who would threaten other players. Even stories about actual weapons being pulled and used when fights between players broke out.
I wish I could find that thread again. It was mind boggling.
All I can say is, wow. That guy is seriously messed up. But, really, how messed up was she for staying with him so long? The guy was a creeper from the start, she could've walked to her mailbox and found a better guy on the street. Her staying with the guy simply justified his weirdness.
Maybe she felt sorry for him and had some urge to care for him? I had a good friend like that once, she was very intelligent, very pretty, and had this horrible drug-addicted slob for a boyfriend. She explained that it was just some urge to try and fix him and care for him.
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Worst DM ever...let's see. One of the worse was your standard module runner. You know the kind, strict adherence to an AP, never home brew, zero ad hoc skills, etc. Anyways, long story short, another PC and I died from food poisoning at a tavern.
No, seriously. You could have heard a pin drop in that room...hahahaha I took it alright, but the other player was of the "this is total BS!" mentality.
There is such a thing as too realistic. :)
What pre-gen is lethal food-poisoning in?
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Worst DM was when I first started to game back in 82. It was the owner of the FLGS who always had TPKs. After awhile no one would play in his games. One day we were talking and he said the the DMs job is to take out thee party and he looks at being a DM as a general and the PCs the enemy.
My worst DM was also a game store owner. Back in the nineties this guy ran a 2nd edition game out of the store's basement. The goal of the game could only be described as "prove how much smarter I am than the players." I didn't mind too much until he started lecturing us on how wrong we were playing our characters.
I quit playing for a few years after that.
Worst player is from a more recent experience at a Living Forgotten Realms game. He showed up with his diminutive, uber sexy, bad ass drow chick with a giant sword. I could deal with that, but he wouldn't stop talking.
The adventure had the party being hired to investigate murders at an expensive boarding school in the clouds. Each party member was placed undercver as an instructor. The 5' tall drow woman with the 6' long sword was the fencing instructor. So our 4 hour organized play session began with an hour of this guy describing his class. From how his character's appearance and sexuality must be too much for the class of teenage boys, to how she dominates their little rapiers in swordplay.
This was supposed to be part of a skill challenge, that came down to a single skill check to learn a little bit of info. When all the characters had failed or succeeded we could combine our info and continue the adventure.
For reference when it was my turn to describe my class, it was along the lines of: "My wizard is very dry and stuffy, and by the book. As class starts I take attendance. Then I go into a lecture, and stress that any questions can be saved until the end." I made an arcana check and got some info on one of the more apt students.
Of course, I've dealt with spotlight hogs before and was ready to forgive all as long as we, the other players, got our time too. But no, the player had to interrupt every other sentence, even when his character had nothing to do with the scene.
The line though came at the end of the adventure. We had been told and reminded a few times to apprehend and not to kill. So we corner the big bad and knock out the henchmen, and he offers up his surrender. The dwarf fighter accepts and begins to bind him. Unfortunately, the drow is right there with her giant sword, and proceeds to drive said sword through the prisoner.
I was done being polite. I told the DM that my character was leaving, but I stopped at the entryway and goaded the dwarf fighter. I said I thought the dwarves of his clan were honorable. This drow just spit on that honor by "murdering" a prisoner in his charge. It didn't take much more for the dwarf to knock out the drow.
The player brought up the classic line of "I'm just playing my character." I responded with "Well, next time let us know that your character is a dick, that way I can play my character and leave your's at the inn."
That was the last time I went to that game.
i do not know how this abomination got it's knighthood and i don't understand how it was maintained with all these heavily immoral violations of the knight's code of conduct.
Probably a Knight of Xentar.
What pre-gen is lethal food-poisoning in?Worst DM ever...let's see. One of the worse was your standard module runner. You know the kind, strict adherence to an AP, never home brew, zero ad hoc skills, etc. Anyways, long story short, another PC and I died from food poisoning at a tavern.
No, seriously. You could have heard a pin drop in that room...hahahaha I took it alright, but the other player was of the "this is total BS!" mentality.
There is such a thing as too realistic. :)
Ah, good. I was about to ask the same question.
I heard the Palladium stuff was bad, but come on!
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Food poisoning? Who dies from food poisoning? Did they have steak with a side of arsenic?
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It was a 1E game and there were two types of typical food 'poisons'. The DM decided it required a roll on the Potion Miscibility table. The hapless player rolled a '01'...
Boom, baby. :)
Eventually we killed the folks then my comrade died from a failed fort save. I died crawling back to the tavern entrance, vomiting.
We were 5th level.
Heh, those two lines right there made me laugh out loud here at work.
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- Here lies the Duke of Yorke...
With sword and shield, did his greatest work.
Slayer of Horned Devils
and other nameless evils!
By fate undone... thanks to poorly prepared pork.
Rugen, you have my sincere condolences. If it had been me, I probably would have beaten the DM to death with a canned ham.
...I had put the white house number i got out of the phone book on my cellphone, thinking it was the white house info or tours line, little did i know it was the actual switch board,
I had been watching the unit, and there is a scene where the big guy say here talk to my boss and on his cell phone it says "white house can i help you"
so i had that on my phone, and the peanutbutter player we will call him derik was my roomate at the time. and we were involved in a prank war called angry but proud.
the whole idea was to do something so outrageous you didn't know as the victim of the prank whether to punch them in the face or salute! because you were so angry but proud
the prank war had gone on for a while, i had sent his personnel info on myspace saying he had cancer and any body could call him day or night, he had taken out a gay personal ad for my on yahoo singles (despite the fact that I was doing street preaching down town)
we were playing a mean game of dnd when he started to act up and i asked him so stop and wait for the party, he said "you dont have the authority"
i figured this was my moment so i flipped my phone open hit speed dial 2 and said here talk to my boss ...... he took the phone and promptly threatened the presidents life. I was shocked and stunned he had finally crossed the line.
the next day the secret service showed up at my work, and interrogated me, and i had to explain what i was doing and why and i then explained to them it was my roommates fault and pointed them to derrik. one of the finer moments of my life was being able to walk into our apartment see him sitting at the table eating cereal. and i got to loudly announce "derik these are the secret service they want to talk to you" in the end
we were cleared he got a super warning and was told they would ruin him academically if he ever stepped out of line again. he was a student teacher at our local college.EDIT: he now does stand up comedy/poetry readings in new york city and has a whole
Yeah that was me, it is actually how I became a follower of Jesus If you guys are interested, my testimony is Here