Most unexpected turn of events


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Post your most bizarre or unusual encounter.

I have had some pretty weird stuff transpire once PC's try to come up with a plan to any given situation, but one tops them all.

The PC's were investigating some suspicious activity and had trailed one guy to a sewage treatment plant (the city was advanced enough to have its own sewer system similar to the one of ancient Rome) and were working their way inside. They eavesdrop on the NPC's conversation long enough and learn that the group of commoners for no particular reason has decided to plug up the sewage system until it overflows into the streets and floods the city. The PC's were unaware that the leader of this group was being controlled by a succubus looking to spread chaos and suffering. After the PC's learned of this they quickly rushed in and started attacking defenseless and harmless commoners. After a round or two the commoners try to flood the room with some sewage in order to create a distraction and escape. The Succubus quickly tries to take control of one of the PC's and she selects the paladin in order to try to demoralize the other PC's (APL was lv 4 paladin not immune yet). The paladin knocks out the halfling bard next to him who begins to drown. The rest of the party quickly turns on the paladin (the succubus was in the rafters and no one had thought to question why the paladin had suddenly turned). They use create pit and he falls in a hole which begins to quickly fill with sewage. Then a swarm is summoned on top of him. For some unknown reason (which he could not even explain or validate) the party druid casts burning gaze and targets a large round table in the center of the room. It ignite and so does all the hydrogen and methane gas not only in the room, but also through the entire sewer system causing a city wide underground explosion and a forest fire outside the city where the sewage was dumping. The Succubus then left and released the paladin (who had fallen unconscious). Only two party members were left standing after the explosion and the bard drowned in this time.

Easily the most bizarre chain of events I have ever experienced.


Goblin drinking game.

That ended in a Goblin getting knighted.


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Vampire Lord, T-rex, swallow whole, and teleported outside. Into daylight.

DM didn't expect that.

Silver Crusade

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The party had a murder mystery. The party grew tired of trying to locate the murderer, so they set the boat on fire and took the lifeboat home. Cleric for create water, a person with profession sailor, profession fisherman, and the cleric could cast spark on the fish to cook them. Unexpected way out of it? Yes. Did it result in me wanting to cry? Yup.


Alexander_Damocles wrote:
The party had a murder mystery. The party grew tired of trying to locate the murderer, so they set the boat on fire and took the lifeboat home. Cleric for create water, a person with profession sailor, profession fisherman, and the cleric could cast spark on the fish to cook them. Unexpected way out of it? Yes. Did it result in me wanting to cry? Yup.

Didn't they have any Divination spells to help? <_<


Party is on an unknown tropical island after their boat crashed and they stumble upon a village of goblins. After a diplomatic encounter gone wrong, the group tries to escape and is chased by a hundred naked cannibal goblins. Instead of simply running to escape, which would've worked perfectly fine considering the party was already pretty far from the goblins, one of the players decides to stop, turn around and throw the quest-giving halfling NPC at the goblins to slow them down, just in case.

The NPC was caught, brought back to the village and devoured, and none of the PCs actually cared.


Man these are great keep em coming guys.


Unexpected turn...love these stories!

So! I am one of a party of five, traversing an underground complex that leads to a necromancer's lair. As I recall, along a double-wide tunnnel a large section goes dark. Immediately after, a tiny, sparkling, autonomous, light begins floating in our midst. Exchange follows:
ME: I stand ready, in case it shows any hostile intent.
Ninja: I don't wait. I attack with my drawn +5 katana.
DM: You realize it is tiny, and moving. Unless you declare the flat of your blade your chances to hit it are small.
Ninja: I'm a high-level adventurer, with a +5 weapon I am specialized in. I like my chances.

The hit rolls are made and the result is a critical fumble (house rules). Nearest ally (me). Result: decapitation.

While this works itself out the wizard casts his dispel and removes the darkness. The party now sees the cavalier dead and headless on the ground, and the ninja standing next to my corpse with a blood-soaked katana. The other three shouted "He's been possessed! GET HIM!"

Sovereign Court

Level 3 party consisting of: duskblade (PHB 2, I allowed this since it was pretty balanced for a Pathfinder setting), cleric (NG), Inquisitor (archer) and a witch.
They (except the duskblade that was a few rounds behind them) come across a pillaging ogre that was trying to knock down a house door. They all get incapacitated (-x hp) by the time the duskblade gets to the scene (terrible luck, they all missed, ogre saved vs. spells and also landed a crit on the cleric, etc.). The duskblade proceeds to roll 20/20 on the ogre. Damage rolled... one shot. And I had a second ogre prepared to join the fight later on (in the barn, trying to steal the foodz). Needless to say, the duskblade repeats the deed with a 19/20, rolls the damage and again, one-shots an ogre, saving the day. 2*CR3 in 2 rounds.

Scarab Sages

Running a long campaign, lasting almost a year. Generally competent and careful party. For most of the campaign, the party has spent at least 30 minutes planning out their approach to every major encounter - nothing gets done except the entire committee agrees.

The final encounter arrives. Lots of treasure and the object of the quest at stake. A stone golem stands in their way - not an impossible challenge, but tricky given the party's resources. Still, they have as much time as they care to take in order to prepare. They begin the expected discussion.

ALMOST TWO HOURS LATER THEY CANNOT AGREE ON HOW TO PROCEED.

Finally, the Monk, who has been the most easygoing, go with the flow, reasonable fellow up to this point, loses it. "I'm going in." he says. "I've had enough of this! We've been here two hours! I'm going in!"

The party then all rushes in after him, and the encounter is a disaster. Half of them are trying to draw the golem in one direction, the other are trying to draw it in another direction, the sorcerer and the rogue, who figure they can't damage it or help at all, start poking the big device in the room which holds the treasure over a lava pit.

Long story short:

Quest = Failed
Party = 1 dead, several badly wounded
Treasure = 1.5 million GP worth of treasure dumped into a lava pit and destroyed
Golem = technically undefeated. I had it deactivate when they accidentally destroyed the treasure device

Grand total = EPIC FAIL. Literally, the only worse possible outcome would have been a TPK (which might have happened if I had not shut off the golem)

They had been doing so well up to that point...

Liberty's Edge

Old story, from way back in AD&D 1e. We'd just started a campaign where the characters were teleported to an island covered with 'impenetrable jungle' except for a fairly narrow band of beach and grassland along the coast. The idea was that we'd have to traverse about 90% of the coastline to get home, due to a badass sand monster creature blocking the quick way off the island. DM made the mistake of giving us access to a stable of heavy warhorses, and my first-level fighter charged the sand monster with a lance. I critted it. Now, in 1e, lances did double damage on a charge, and a crit was also double damage. From a heavy warhorse (yeah, damage for a lance was based on the mount), that was 3d6, quadrupled. My 3d6 roll of 16 became 64 damage, instantly killing the creature and short-circuiting the entire campaign.


I have so many great stories for this, but I just want to recount this one. This was before Pathfinder, though, in 3.5e.

I was playing a monk by the name of Avven. He had stupid high physical stats and wisdom, but his intelligence and charisma was so pathetically low, I had to roleplay him in a really strange way. He was pretty much at the beck and call of the party leader, a soulknife (who was also the highest level in the group), simply because he couldn't figure out what to do next, but in general was still very party-oriented, because he knew he wouldn't do well (his monastery was destroyed, so he had no where to go) without them.

Our (rather large) party was running away from an army of orcs and ogres. At night. One bad roll from the DM, and we all tumble down into a cave opening. We start to stand up, brushing the dirt off our clothes, and then realize we're standing face to face with - DM rolls for random creature - a pair of DIRE BEARS (which was roughly x1.5 our EPL in terms of CR). And their cubs.

We had something akin to a portable base, in the form of a bottle, and most of our party goes inside. Being a monk, I just ran outside with my huge movement speed, and the soulknife also got out, though the bottle was left in the cave. Unfortunately, another bad roll, and the moon comes out. Lo and behold, our soulknife is a weretiger. He fails his Will save, becomes a tiger and runs off. I have no clue what to do (in or out of character), so I go and hide in a tree.

The night passes and the soulknife doesn't return. After much contemplation, Avven decides he must step up. Be the hero. Do what must be done. "OPERATION: SAVE EVERYONE!"

Out of character, I thought I had resigned my character to death. I walk in, sneak up to the sleeping bears, and just go all out. Between Stunning Fist and flurry of blows-ing, I somehow am able to kill both of them, but I end the fight with literally less than 5 health. I limp over to where the bottle should be, and I see that the cubs (who somehow are still sleeping) have used the bottle as a pillow, basically. I knew I couldn't do anything, so I just go back to my tree, tie myself to it, and go to sleep. Next day (when I get my healing back), I go in and take the bottle. The cubs start pawing at their parents and stuff. Our druid (who was inexperienced at the game in general) tries to Wild Empathy one of the cubs to get it as an animal companion, meanwhile in the background my monk has cut the dire bears open and stringing out its intestines to find the ioun stone that was lost at some point in the battle. The soulknife ends up walking up at the end and is the first in-character to raise the question of what happened. Not one of the party ends up believing I did what I did.


Cheapy wrote:

Vampire Lord, T-rex, swallow whole, and teleported outside. Into daylight.

DM didn't expect that.

Sweet.

*files that little tidbit away for future use*

Wolfsnap wrote:
Finally, the Monk, who has been the most easygoing, go with the flow, reasonable fellow up to this point, loses it. "I'm going in." he says. "I've had enough of this! We've been here two hours! I'm going in!"

His name wouldn't happen to be Leroy Jenkins, would it?


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Party rogue and local pirate captain has been spending the last few adventures ferrying the group around on his ship from place to place. In one place they pick up an alchemist, and the rogue decides to start taking alchy levels. He does so, and then begins obsessively making fireworks in his laboratory (the hold of the ship), and covering his cabin in fireworks traps.

In the meanwhile, the party inquisitor breaks into the laboratory and steals many of these same fireworks traps as well as a few flasks of alchemists fire. Every time they dock, the inquisitor covers the boat in these traps to protect everyone's gear.

The group lands in a port and decides their seafaring days are done, plus they need a cash influx as it turns out they spent all their money on fireworks traps. They go to the dockworker's union and start negotiating a price to sell the boat. They insist on RPing the scene. They are absurdly obstinate and generally making a huge nuisance of themselves and refuse to budge from their 3K gold price-point on the ship. Finally, the union leader says:

"Fine, I'll give you three thousand just to get you out of my hair."

The inquisitor grabs the bag of gold and starts heading back towards the ship. Union leader says, "where are you going, that's my ship!"

Inquisitor says, "No, you paid me to get out of your hair, not for the ship."

The union leader calls in his many, many enforcers to separate the party from the ship, So the inquisitor pulls out an alchemist's fire and casts true strike. Union leader knows that his men can take a single alch's fire and calls the bluff.

Inquisitor chucks the fire at the mast of the ship, setting off a huge chain reaction of fireworks ending with the hull of the ship exploding.

... All because they wanted to RP a boiler plate negotiation scene.


I was playing a barbarian 3.5 who's main form of attack was throwing the dwarven fighter with spiked armor at people, now usually much hilarity ensued in every combat, but one of those times we were facing an enemy boss on top of a tower while trying to get to the magical gate that we had the key for. I toss the dwarf with all my strength, roll a natural 1, which the DM ruled as I totally missed and launched the dwarf to his doom where his broken body landed in the middle of the enemy armor around the tower. After we finally defeat the boss, we realize the dwarf had the key to the gate.


I was running an adventure where a player had a CE Summoner who just wasn't fitting in with the party because they had all gradually made the move towards Good alignment. We decided to turn his character into the BBEG and let him make a new Sorcerer character.

In the story, several years had passed and the whole group had settled down and had been doing their own thing only to be brought back together by a new threat: their old Summoner comrade who had been advancing in level while they raised families and resented their turn away from the dark side. His new Sorcerer character was to be one of her prisoners.

One of the players decided to meta-game (juuuusst a little) and decided that the new guy was actually the Summoner in disguise. How he arrived at that conclusion was totally beyond me. He was a fighter and took all three attacks. The Sorcerer was slaughtered.

Keep in mind: this was in the middle of fighting a friggin' colossal scorpion and everyone (including the scorpion) was down to less than 10 HP. Everyone got killed by the scorpion in the next round. When he killed the Sorcerer he looked at me like he'd just solved a puzzle or something. He tried to explain his decision, but it just boiled down to him getting this idea for a story twist that I just HAD to be pulling on them. Sad. He never lived that down.

Grand Lodge

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Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook Subscriber; Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber

The Tale of the Impenetrable Portcullis.

My level 7 party is making their way through the Demonskar in our Shackled City game. Coming out of the underground tunnels, they find themselves in a small canyon. The only way forward appears to be a large steel portcullis.

They handily dispatch the sentry outside, and approach the gate. I tell them there is a 2ft hole above the portcullis that seems clear.

They begin deliberating how to proceed. It's finally decided for them when the elven fighter spiderclimbs up to the hole and spots the hill giant guard on his ledge. Combat begins.

The players are stymied when they learn that the Escape Artist check to squeeze through the hole is DC 30 for a Medium creature, 20 for a Small. None of them have Escape Artist.

The battle rages with ranged attacks through the hole. The eladrin player is reminded that, since they're in the middle of nowhere, he can use his incorporal globe form without a care. He floats through the gate and is attacked by boulders that, being non-magical, pass harmlessly through. Not wanting to be harmed (Savage Species progression, low HP), he sits tight.

More enemies are called in. The party is trapped on the outside, the enemy can't really harm the eladrin.

Finally, the lizardfolk warlock grabs the catfolk monk and dimension doors through to the ledge. They begin beating down the first guard and trying to work the winch to raise the gate. Not being strong enough, the changling druid tries to assist from the outside. I finally decide that them all working together manages to raise it enough to let the rest of the party inside.

This entire affair took up about two hours of game time, and drained every player at the table due to the futility of it. The elven fighter's player got upset at the DC, but managed to calm down with some words from the druid's player.

Now, cookies to anyone who can point out the problems in this scenario.


after fight with fallen undead paladins I cut a finger from each one of them for magic purposes. (I wasn't the brightest sorceror)
When we came to their temple our nature-cleric just straight out told them that I took the fingers of their fallen paladins for my own pleasure.
I got chased out of the village.

Or when we helped a kobold-king he offered us to choose from different rewards he presented to us, I asked politely if I could have the magic feather. While the kobold answered our cleric (the same) went to the feather and took it. I never saw that feather again.

these stories might not compete with your stories, but we were all a bit shocked.


We enter combat, I charge in ready to smash face.

Sorceress yells out "Dude, don't kill them! We can capture and torture them instead"

Enemy leader summons succubus from a wondrous item. - Same sorceress geas' her to just walk over and turn back into a figurine. Boss Neutralized.


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A personal favorite story of mine goes back to AD&D. The thief in the party has a bad habit of stealing everything that's not nailed down, and regards anything that can be removed with a battering ram as not being nailed down.

Halfway through the campaign, the party runs afoul of a Mirror of Opposition. After defeating their opposites, they leave the room, regarding the object as "too damn dangerous". When they make camp next, the thief sneaks back and steals the mirror, putting it, along with all the other stuff he's "acquired" into his personal bag of holding.

Fast forward to 2/3s of the way through the campaign. The party comes across a Helm of Opposite alignment. After nearly losing the paladin to it, they once more discard the cursed item, into a dark hole where it can "rot for all eternity" in the paladin's words. Once again, the thief goes back for it while he was supposed to be on watch.

Then we step forward to the final battle of the campaign, against the last dragon in the world, who is evil, and rather than being willing to accept his race's extinction, has decided that if dragons are going to die, the world might as well die too.

The party gets into the fight, and it goes poorly. Shortly, everyone in the party is nearly dead, and the evil red dragon commences to monologue as it prepares to eat the helpless thief that it has pinned by the waist under it's claws.

The thief reaches into his sack, desperately, and whips out the Mirror of Opposition, sticking it right in front of the Dragon's face. Dragon fails it's save, and all the sudden there is a good dragon of the opposite gender that springs from the mirror, to commence battling the evil dragon.

Good dragon loses, and is pinned and about to be slaughtered, but it has given the party time to recover. The thief runs forward, digging around in his sack of stuff again... and pulls out the Helm, which he jumps up to slam on the Dragon's head. Once again, the dragon utterly fails its save, and suddenly it becomes a good dragon.

The ending of the campaign was entirely derailed: the plot had been supposed to be the party being responsible for mythic stuff leaving the world when they killed the last dragon, even if it was undeniably evil. Instead they started a second mythic age of the world, by virtue of creating a mate for the dragon and changing him to a good creature.

Everyone just sort of sat there stunned as they realized what they'd done.

Then the paladin went on a vengeance kick since the formerly evil dragon had once burnt down his family estate and children with it, and tries to kill it anyway. So he falls at that point, and everyone at the table just looks at him like "Dude! Why'd you ruin the epic cool?"


In 3.5 Expedition to Castle Ravenloft, a Vistani is supposed to drop a letter to the pc once they arrive. Whole party sitting around an inn the gypsy flings the door open, drops the letter and leaves. The party ignores the letter. Follows the gypsy, I have him hide in the woods (I roll awful) they find him, he runs away they chase him, he hides well, they track him. (At this point I am winging it) they find the vistani camp. I decide to throw a little intrigue by having Count strahd send werewolves to attack, so they were wolves attack,(having the vistani killed ending the crazy chase, and the werewolves will hint at something controlling the situation) the pcs attack the vistani the vistani attack the werewolves it is a crazy melee free for all. The pcs live the monsters and gypsies lose.
Plot point averted, the pcs march up to the castle and confront strahd (who is under a no detection spell). The paladin can’t detect evil, and strahd explains to him he is the legal ruler and he may be harsh but he is the rightful and legal ruler and he will run his kingdom any damn way he pleases. The paladin says "okay" and the whole party leaves. With a wagon full of gold and gems. I was so mad at them I booby trapped the barrels of gold with beads of force, as the pcs march by the soul crushed villagers. They open up the gold to enjoy their new found wealth and are instantly killed.


TriOmegaZero wrote:

The Tale of the Impenetrable Portcullis.

My level 7 party is making their way through the Demonskar in our Shackled City game. Coming out of the underground tunnels, they find themselves in a small canyon. The only way forward appears to be a large steel portcullis.

They handily dispatch the sentry outside, and approach the gate. I tell them there is a 2ft hole above the portcullis that seems clear.

They begin deliberating how to proceed. It's finally decided for them when the elven fighter spiderclimbs up to the hole and spots the hill giant guard on his ledge. Combat begins.

The players are stymied when they learn that the Escape Artist check to squeeze through the hole is DC 30 for a Medium creature, 20 for a Small. None of them have Escape Artist.

The battle rages with ranged attacks through the hole. The eladrin player is reminded that, since they're in the middle of nowhere, he can use his incorporal globe form without a care. He floats through the gate and is attacked by boulders that, being non-magical, pass harmlessly through. Not wanting to be harmed (Savage Species progression, low HP), he sits tight.

More enemies are called in. The party is trapped on the outside, the enemy can't really harm the eladrin.

Finally, the lizardfolk warlock grabs the catfolk monk and dimension doors through to the ledge. They begin beating down the first guard and trying to work the winch to raise the gate. Not being strong enough, the changling druid tries to assist from the outside. I finally decide that them all working together manages to raise it enough to let the rest of the party inside.

This entire affair took up about two hours of game time, and drained every player at the table due to the futility of it. The elven fighter's player got upset at the DC, but managed to calm down with some words from the druid's player.

Now, cookies to anyone who can point out the problems in this scenario.

eldrin could of opened the gate? 4 them

Shadow Lodge

TOZ:

The eladrin can pass through the gate no problem.
The elven fighter can spiderclimb over the gate (it's a canyon, no ceiling).
The warlock can dimension door to the other side of the portcullis, and take the catfolk monk with him.
The changeling druid, at 7th level, can change forms into something that can squeeze through or fly over with ease.


DeathSpot wrote:
. . .Now, in 1e, lances did double damage on a charge, and a crit was also double damage. From a heavy warhorse (yeah, damage for a lance was based on the mount), that was 3d6, quadrupled. . .

They still are x2... x3 with Spirited Charge feat.

Let me tell you about my adventure over this weekend at Comic-Con.

We were playing a Scenario where the first encounter is with some mounted enemies, one of which has a lance. The lance user charges the most heavily armored person... me being a cleric in full plate it ends up being me. Charge and crits me with a 20/19 and does 58 damage one shotting me.

Funny thing is we had a level 2 in our group, we were playing teir 4-5 and my partner put Shield Other on him to keep him from dying. I would have lived if it was on me and I took 58 damage, however the DM calculated the damage wrong. If calculated correctly we would have both died in one shot if he put Shield Other on me.

The correct way to calculate the damage would have been to roll the Crit (lance being a x3 weapon), then mulitiply it by 3 for spirited charge resulting in a x9 crit... yeah. x9

Moral of story... I'm making a Lance-using-dog-mounted halfling with Spirited Charge. LOL

PS. lucky for me I had the PA to get a raise dead.

Dark Archive

Mortifier wrote:
DeathSpot wrote:
. . .Now, in 1e, lances did double damage on a charge, and a crit was also double damage. From a heavy warhorse (yeah, damage for a lance was based on the mount), that was 3d6, quadrupled. . .

They still are x2... x3 with Spirited Charge feat.

Let me tell you about my adventure over this weekend at Comic-Con.

We were playing a Scenario where the first encounter is with some mounted enemies, one of which has a lance. The lance user charges the most heavily armored person... me being a cleric in full plate it ends up being me. Charge and crits me with a 20/19 and does 58 damage one shotting me.

Funny thing is we had a level 2 in our group, we were playing teir 4-5 and my partner put Shield Other on him to keep him from dying. I would have lived if it was on me and I took 58 damage, however the DM calculated the damage wrong. If calculated correctly we would have both died in one shot if he put Shield Other on me.

The correct way to calculate the damage would have been to roll the Crit (lance being a x3 weapon), then mulitiply it by 3 for spirited charge resulting in a x9 crit... yeah. x9

Moral of story... I'm making a Lance-using-dog-mounted halfling with Spirited Charge. LOL

PS. lucky for me I had the PA to get a raise dead.

its not x9, its only x5. you dont multiply twice. in 3.5 and pf x3+x3=x5.


Mortifier wrote:
The correct way to calculate the damage would have been to roll the Crit (lance being a x3 weapon), then mulitiply it by 3 for spirited charge resulting in a x9 crit... yeah. x9

Um. I think the GM probably did it correctly. Multiplying damage in Pathfinder isn't a strict mathematical function.

"Multiplying Damage: Sometimes you multiply damage by some factor, such as on a critical hit. Roll the damage (with all modifiers) multiple times and total the results.
Note: When you multiply damage more than once, each multiplier works off the original, unmultiplied damage. So if you are asked to double the damage twice, the end result is three times the normal damage. (Pathfinder Core Rulebook, p. 179)"

So, spirited charge for triple damage and x3 crit means a total 5 times the base damage (5d8 NOT 9d8).

Dark Archive

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in a 3.5 game my friend was DMing....

I had a LN(more CG) raptorian monk with a 6 int, 20 wis, and 3 charisma. We were standing in front of the castle to a Silver Dragon, Paladin 20, son of Bahamut, on the plane of air. Its a a "Smite first, ask questions later" kind of Pally.

the rest of the group was a druid, a ranger, and a rogue. Did i mention they're all pirates? and evil?

So when the group has to steal an artifact from the castle, i asked them why. They said to save the universe.

I knock on the door. The group goes "Oh crap!". I ask permission to enter.

I approach the Dragon and say "Excuse me, mister all powerful dragon sir, but i need to borrow that artifact behind you to save the universe."

Dragon: [ZONE OF TRUTH] "What was that?"

Me:"Excuse me, mister all powerful dragon sir, but i need to borrow that artifact behind you to save the universe."...

DM: O_o Seriously?

Me: yep

Dragon: "Ok, i'll help you with that"

Group: "RUN!!!!!! GET BACK TO THE BOAT!!!!!! HIDE EVERYTHING!!!!!!!"

Campaign: Over.


I love this post it keeps me entertained at work. also glad to know i was not the only one.

I once had a friend who was a orc fighter and a elf ranger get inot a in game shouting match the orc " b slapped" the elf in the face he did a critical and killed the elf. didn't see that one coming


Some call me Tim wrote:

. . .Note: When you multiply damage more than once, each multiplier works off the original, unmultiplied damage. So if you are asked to double the damage twice, the end result is three times the normal damage. (Pathfinder Core Rulebook, p. 179)"

So, spirited charge for triple damage and x3 crit means a total 5 times the base damage (5d8 NOT 9d8).

Good to know, thanks. Either way it was still a ton of damage.


These are great thanks for all the hilarious and unusual stories everybody.


This was during my first GenCon, a loooooong time ago:

We're playing in a tournament where all the characters are Chaotic Evil and trying to find a way into a Lawful Good city to sabotage their defenses so that the Army of the Apocalypse (or something) can destroy the city.

The first encounter was with a large tribe of Orcs. Our party "leader" (he was elected because two of the six players were friends of his) immediately starts barking battle orders.

"Excuse me," says I, "but we are all EVIL here, so why don't we talk to them?"

Fearless Leader reluctantly agrees.

Orc chieftain wants to know what's in it for him?

Fearless Leader looks at me and says, "So now what?"

I say, "Tell him he can have anything he wants, gold, slaves, territory. Heck, tell him we'll make him King of the City, if that's what he wants to hear."

Fearless Leader replies, "We don't have the authority to give him any of that!"

Me: "So? He doesn't know that."

FL: "We can't LIE to him!"

Me: "Uh, we're CHAOTIC Evil. Remember? We can lie if we want."

FL still refuses. Finally agrees to offer to bribe the Orc instead.

Orc says, "So what's my cooperation worth to you?"

FL reaches into his pocket and offers...2 copper pieces.

I begin banging my head on the desk. DM laughs and combat begins.

Much tactical stupidity follows, including the other cleric in the party (I'm one as well) somehow managing to cast Hold Person on myself and another party member.

Later, when we encounter a Red Dragon, our Leader again refuses to consider negotiating ('Cause "It's Evil!") and orders an attack "with everything you've got!" I Flame Strike the party and run away.

Needless to say, we did not advance in the tournament.

But...Best GenCon Ever.

Grand Lodge

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Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook Subscriber; Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber

Lobolusk: The eladrin would have had the same problems opening the portcullis as the warlock and monk did.

InVinoVeritas wrote:

TOZ:

The eladrin can pass through the gate no problem.
The elven fighter can spiderclimb over the gate (it's a canyon, no ceiling).
The warlock can dimension door to the other side of the portcullis, and take the catfolk monk with him.
The changeling druid, at 7th level, can change forms into something that can squeeze through or fly over with ease.

I forgot to mention the portcullis was the entrance to a cave, so no flying/climbing over.

You're mostly correct, except the warlock could have taken the entire party through the gate one at a time. Or more, I'd have to look at Dimension Door again.

The changling had Alter Self at will on top of being a druid (although a PHB2 variant wildshaper) and could have become a Small creature.

Worst of all, the eladrin could have zapped the enemies with his light rays while being completely immune to any retaliation. Or used Charm/Hold Monster SLAs on them all.

So yeah, my party was defeated by an iron portcullis. *facepalm*


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Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

Oh, I've got a few.

One of my first times GMing, back in 2nd edition. PCs were waylaid by a party of drow. Completely surprised, over a dozen drow step out from their hiding spots ready to kill the players.

And I roll 14 straight 1's. To this day I've never seen a run of luck (good or bad) like that. And so, the crack drow suicide squad steps out, jabs swords into each other's guts, and fall over dead in front of the party.

--

Same campaign. I'd taken a page from Indiana Jones and had an invisible bridge across a chasm. Young GM, I'd given no clues to it of course. But, there was a player who'd wanted to play a new character, and I'd told him when he died he could. So his necromancer became obsessed with killing himself. He sees this chasm, and steps out into it, ready to die. Only to find himself on the invisible bridge. Poor guy never did manage to kill himself.

--

More recently, our group of adventurers was completely stymied by a five-foot hole along a mountainous path. Not even a "it's a long way down" hole, but a 15 foot deep pit. A couple small/weak characters who can't make the jump, armor check penalties causing others to have issue. We ended up with one character climbing into the pit and over to the other side, laying the full-plated cleric out across the pit (six feet tall and strong is good for something), and having the small characters use him as a bridge. Never thought something so simple could be so much trouble.

Liberty's Edge

I've got few...

I was playing a dwarven battlerager (2nd edition) and do to my intimidating strength and battle prowess was the unchallenged leader. OOC I tried to convince the players this was a bad idea, but alas it happened in game. Thankfully I never lead us into a TPK. However; we are traveling and just recruited a new member to the party; a Elven Bard. I was the typical dwarf, gruf, loud, and dirty.

We were going through 'hostile' territory and the bard decides to start singing, just a travelling song; I proceeded to tell the bard to "Shut yer mouth 'er i'll shut it fer ye'!"

Silence...continue on...needless to say the Bard starts discussing with the other PC's about why i'm so angry all the time and thinks a song will cheer me up. Again I tell her to shut up. This goes on about two more times, then I walked back to the elf, looked at her, and punched her in the face. Mind you I didn't concern myself that I was wearing spiked gauntlets. Well I crit, confirmed, and took the bard to just below 0 HP in one shot.

The bard never sang again. lol.

---

In a campaign I was DMing the party encounter some werewolves in an underground complex near a water source. The big bad fighter of the party (a minotaur) goes into the melee, fumbles and flings his magical sword into the water. Unarmed and being mauled by this lycanthrope he suddenly comes up with an idea...grapples the Werewolf, continues to take the damage from the creature, and drags him into the water. Thankfully he was able to drown the beast before it could break the grapple or do enough damage to him to kill him.

I honestly did expect to have to look up drowning rules in that campaign. lol He definitely got bonus xp from me for that one!


Game of Fading Suns. PCs are official imperial observers sent to Midian to try to help negotiate truce between warring factions - civil war started there when previous duke died and his chancellor accused duke's son and heir of practicing forbidden worship of ancestors (think ancestral mildly evil necromancy for those who do not know setting).

One of the PCs is captain of the imperial warship, others are members of noble houses and church. There were hints that the ship is inflitrated by some malignant possessing force or just meddling spy. One of the characters - Decados marquess decides to save the mission by finding and disabling the spy/victim of possession. Hazat lady is loud, obnoxious and aggressive so she gets locked in her cabin. One potential spy is out. Another character is in deep meditation and cannot be awakened - her cabin is locked for safety as well (player could not arrive for session) - second potential meddler is out. Decados seduces captain, drugs him and cuffs him to his own bed. Third potential meddler is out. She then calls the ship's first officer showing him the captain and claiming that he is incapable of performing the duties due to deep intoxication... Officer agrees, thank her and shots her with stunner. Guess who was possessed?

The part ends locked together. The unexpected turn of events takes place then: another warship, full of holy warriors, came to the planet with order to arrest the chancellor as a necromancer. The problem was that orders were issued by church official that was out of his function for some time - PCs knew of that and could easily show proofs to the leader of the holy warriors. Except they were locked and incapable of communicating with the new ship. Before they could free themselves and exposed first officer the holy warriors went to arrest the chancellor and killed him when he resisted... And as the chancellor was the leader of the opposition to the duke's heir the civil war ended much sooner than I initially planned.


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Long ago in a second ed game... I was running a Waterdeep based game and the players had been complaining that the game was getting too grim. So I wrote up an adventure based of a Noble's daughter/Stable boy romance with the only real threat a gang of noble's kids trying to be bad.

The first real confrontation which should have involved punching and such ended with several dead nobles, a bar burned to the ground to hide evidence, and the doomed couple never getting together, . A complete shambles. Two of the characters actually retired and left town to avoid noble retaliation.


Three words: Mind Flayer Volleyball...


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Some memorable little episodes as a GM:

- Typical misfit party steals a job from rival adventurers. The job was misleading and eventually brought them against a medusa hiding in the sewers. Once dead, the group began arguing over (in-character) ways to claim the reward since they weren't hired for the job (and being generally disliked in town didn't help matters). In order to get things moving, I had the players make progressively higher fortitude saves until they realized that the medusa's head was still capable of petrification (yes, Clash of the Titans ripoff). They severed the head and the sorcerer held onto it examining the creature's biology (and kept it facing away from the group). As they were leaving the sewers they were intercepted by their rivals. After a few brief insults and failed intimidation checks, the sorcerer held out the medusa head while facing rival party and said "Here you go". Every member of the rival group failed their saves. It didn't take long before government officials had them run out of town, albeit with a few less citizens and a few more statues.

- High level political campaign involving only full casters and hybrids eventually takes to the planes. Their base remained on the Prime and were often called upon "to serve their country". The group decided to build an arcane academy in a demiplane they purchased along with a portal to their material plane base. A few in-game years past and all was well until the local anti-arcane church decided to crusade against the new "menace" (the academy). They hoped this would raise their attendance (and tithes) and hopefully rid them of adventurers who routinely meddled in religious matters. After several discreet attacks and frequent student harassment from church inquisitors (this was before the APG), I expected the party to nuke the church. The gnome bard had a different idea in mind: she bought a leather harness and other bedroom accessories, geared up, had the team magically disguise her as an eight year old girl (complete with divination-proof wards), and proceeded to loudly search the city for the church's high priest. Scandal quickly followed and the church eventually closed their doors.


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After a long a brutal campaign our DM who is especially devious introduces us to a new character a Bard who presents us with a quest. One in which we must take him into a cave kill him bring his body through a portal then revive him.

Up until this point every NPC that our party has meet has tried to kill us. The Mayor was a ghoul, the dwarven warrior was probably a drow conspirator, the friendly woodsmen were dopplegangers, and the farmer was an evil cultist. There may have been an evil wain wright... Literally every person we ran into had some sort of ulterior motive that required us dead. Anyway, my wizard and his brother were now super suspicious of everyone so we agree to take the quest but upon killing the character in the cave we loot his body, rummage through his stuff, and do all sorts of not nice things. All to the DM's protests.

whoops.

When we bring his corpse through the portal (which no good being can pass through) and revive him we notice that the parties cleric/monk is missing. At that moment the DM stands up walks around the table and the cleric/monk becomes the DM. They switched DM's on us. Turns out the body we defiled and looted was going to be the newest party member. There was some tension for a bit but after we gave him back his stuff he seemed mostly placated.


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I don't know about strange, but I can certainly provide stupid.

We were playing in the Ravenloft setting - the one that is set in 1890 (Red Dawn, or Red Blood, something like that). Party magic - one ancient sword. Party opposition - a vampire, with full D&D immunities/strengths.

Through research, we discover that it takes 1/2 damage from silver!!! ANd we have shotguns!!! Daylight hours spent collecting silver to make shotgun pellets out of. Special point made to never be alone. Stupidity begins now.

We are holed up in a defensible basement, when someone realizes that the sherriff of the town was left at his office, and he's a good shot, we need him. Dusk is just falling, so after some discussion (we shouldn't split up, yes we should, back and forth), our fighter takes off running to get the sheriff.

20 minutes pass, he's not back. More discussion, we should all go, no we shouldn't. This time two people take off to get the sherriff.

30 minutes go by, no one has come back. A single PC - the rogue, decides he can sneak through the darkness and find out what happened.

Another hour goes by, the sherriff's daughter shows up, she says that her father was torn to shreds by the vampire. The two of us remaining decide to hole up in the church. On the way there, fifth party member disappears. It's now me, my magic sword, and the sherriff's daughter, who of course was a vassal vampire.

Final battle, I managed to wound the vampire for eight points of damage before going down, total TPK entirely due to our stupidity.

It has become a byword in our gaming circle, 'We've stayed together all day, there are undead out there and it's just dark, time to split up."


I've read all of these they are so funny and interesting. Especially since I have been in nearly all of those situations before. Keep em' coming.


I think the craziest twist I ever threw at a DM was my flying tackle of a Mind Flayer.

We came accross a Mind Flayer. Note, this was back in 3.0 when a MF grappling you meant instant death. I was playing a ranger variant. Our party was short on ranged attack, and I had snuck into a position where he hand not spotted me. My character had no idea what a MF was, much less that grappling one was bad. The MF was hovering next to the cliff i was hiding on and blasting the party with spell.

So, I made a running jump from the cliff to initiate a grapple with the mind flayer. The DM blows his rolls, and I make the grapple, and am now hanging on to the mind flayer. The our combined weight was enough to overwhealm his levitate spell. The DM ruled that the spell failed and we both fell 30 feet to the ground. I asked the DM if I could make a tumble check to land on top of the MF. The DM lets me, and I make the check. I take less damage, and the Mind Flayer takes the extra damage I avoided. I did enough damage that the other members of the party were able to kill it before it got any more spells off.

Silver Crusade

Cheapy wrote:
Alexander_Damocles wrote:
The party had a murder mystery. The party grew tired of trying to locate the murderer, so they set the boat on fire and took the lifeboat home. Cleric for create water, a person with profession sailor, profession fisherman, and the cleric could cast spark on the fish to cook them. Unexpected way out of it? Yes. Did it result in me wanting to cry? Yup.
Didn't they have any Divination spells to help? <_<

Not at second level they didn't.


Well...in this week's Tuesday game, our party was stuck in a trapped flooding room. While everyone was scrambling to disable the mechanism, bust holes in the doors, or help other party members hold their breath, the paladin decided to remove his plate armor so he wouldn't drown so easily. It was an odd choice, but we got through that trap without anyone dying.

Then, the 'dungeon' cleared, the party checked out the remaining room, which turned out to be a treasure room. The rogue bricked on his Perception check (as per usual) and missed the magic trap, so most of us were hit by a drowning effect. Only one of us died - the paladin, who had thus far been the most paranoid about drowning of us all.

Basically, after we overcame multiple tough combats, topped off by a difficult trap the entire party had to cooperate to overcome...one of us died to a simple trap. (-_-')

A few others...
* It was our first D&D campaign, 3e, and the DM presented the BBEG to the party when we were...level 7 I think? My Rage Mage cast 'Scorching Ray' on him, and managed to roll two crits...and then rolled almost max damage (at least 90 points). The DM announced the bad guy's death, closed the book, and that was the last time he DMed. Not real proud of that one, but it was kinda epic at the time.

* One of my players more or less committed suicide for comedic effect. The rest of the players weren't too okay with this style of play, so I told him he should put a bit more effort into making his next character so he fits into the party better. He makes a rapier-wielding Swashbuckler with a long, involved back-story for the next game. I introduce him quickly into the group, and they set off to kill a nest of monsters...the alien-looking guys from the back of the Book of Vile Darkness. The Swashbuckler wins initiative...then Power Attack charges into the midst of the monsters and misses. I did not have a DM shield at this point in my gaming career, and I rolled pretty well for the monster attacks. Thus I managed to kill a PC who had rolled only one d20 in his entire career. Not real proud of that one either, but the other players loved retelling the tale to others.

* I was pretty proud of the one epic-level Planeshifter I played, at least during one combat. It's a pretty complex scenario, but there was a large room, an epic-level lich on the other end, and an invisible wall of force separating us (we didn't know it at the time). I also didn't know that the DM had set up the pile of treasure just so in this room so there was a Helm of Brilliance filled with many Necklaces of Fireballs inside it, as a sort of nasty trick to play on us or something. My mage uses a Greater MM Rod of Maximize to cast 'Rock to Lava' on the floor beneath the lich. This deals 240(?) damage to it and disrupts its spellcasting pretty badly that round. Next round I did the same thing, casting on the roof this time. Lava drips down, 'splodes the magical treasure and the lich, encounters done. I got a smile and a handshake from the DM for that one. =)


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2e game. The party was holed up inside a small keep with a noble's daughter with which the party's bard was romantically involved. They'd known this NPC for awhile and were fond of her. During the middle of the night a invisible stalker sneaks in, scoops up the noblewoman, evades the quickly scrambling party as they try to stop it and flies away into the night. The party gears up and immediately heads out in pursuit. Checking a map, the party concludes that the only likely place the invisible stalker was heading, based on its direction of flight, was a series of abandoned mines about three days walk to the east. A day and a half into the journey the bard muses aloud "Hey, remember that dungeon to the south we'd been exploring months ago? It had a door that was nailed shut and we never opened it before leaving. Maybe there's something in there of relevance..." Inexplicably, all of the other party members agree and the group immediately makes a 90º turn and begins a week-long expedition to a dungeon they've already explored; leaving the bard's noblewoman girlfriend to be sacrificed and raised as a zombie by the evil cult who'd kidnapped her.

Another time, same party, they were traveling through wide-open grasslands while following a nearby river at night. Meanwhile, a vampiress named "Yola", is miles away checking out some ruins in which the group had killed her vampire paramour some time earlier looking for some clues to his fate. A bat of her's, who'd chanced upon the party while out scouting, reports their whereabouts to her. She decides to go find the party, subdue/charm them and so find out what they know about her missing paramour. So she turns into a wolf and summons a pack to accompany her while providing her with camouflage of sorts. Back in the grasslands, the party hears the howling of wolves and... immediately use a water-walking spell to run out into the center of the river. When Yola and her pack arrives, she is astounded to see that the party somehow deduced that a vampire was coming (which they hadn't) and taken refuge in the only spot within 10 miles she couldn't reach; atop running water. So the hungry wolves end up padding back and forth along the riverbank as the vampiress tries to figure out what to do next. Meanwhile, the party's ranger is silently using her beastmaster kit ability to telepathically communicate with each wolf to figure out what they want. When she tries to communicate with the vampire-in-wolf-form, she automatically fails. Then, in an epic moment of deduction the ranger's player (who wasn't being played by the sharpest player in the group) blurts out "That one! She's the bad guy's vampire girlfriend." Ranged blasting ensues and the vampiress is forced to flee. After that, the bad guy NPCs in the campaign believed that the party had some sort of oracular/psychic abilities.


Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

So,
Couple of stories.

1) Champions game. I'm playing a character who's been artificially created by an alien race and sent to earth to study humans and send back information. I had a gauntlet that fired different types of beams. Until that point in the game, it had been very classical super heros. Fighting other supers, lots of tech and such.
So, the GM pulls each of us aside in turn, and I'm 3rd in line. As I'm bored, I start thinking to myself, what is the most stupid plot line I could think of, given our game style. I hit on throwing in werewolves or vampires. As I'm thinking about how bad of a clash this would be, I devise a joke to play on the GM. When he pulls me back in the other room, I count to five as he starts talking, and then carol out in a loud voice. "VAMPYRES! Are you Serious?!" The GM looks shocked, and several people look back into the room. He looks so shocked I feel bad, and apologize, saying it was just a joke.
To this day he still thinks I cheated and looked at his notes or was listening to the two people that went before me. We were attacked by vampires. :) And it was as bad as I thought it would be, it clashed horribly, and we killed the head vampyre, rather than capture him to find a cure, so the GM had to come up with a wierd cup ritual to undo the vampirism he spread to half of us. :)

2) Shadowrun game. I was running this one. One of my players was playing a troll with muscle enhancement. Basically, he had maxed out his strength as a troll, then added 50% more. So his strength was, in D&D terms, about 35 or so. Anyway, his weapon of preference was a great axe with a laser etched edge.
They are trying to break into a secure compound, and they've checked the electric fence, and confirmed that yes, it's an electric fence. The player immediately says "Hey, I got shock gloves, they are insulated, I'll chop the fence in half and we'll storm the place in the confusion!" He pulls his axe out, and despite my asking 'Are you sure?', which is a iron clad guarantee in my games that what you are doing is a BAD IDEA, he does it.
Now, in shadowrun, there are two types of electric fence. There are the kind for keeping out normal animals, and the kind designed to keep out Juggernauts, which are magically enhanced armadillo's the size of a C-130 cargo plane. This fence was one of those. So it had 500 amps, until something started snapping wires on it, then it amped up to 500,000amps. The voltage went into the axe head, down it's metal shaft, melted his gloves, and killed him 3 times over.
To this day, he maintains a great axe designed to work for someone with a strength of a main battle tank should have a wood shaft that is not conductive to electricity.

Owner - House of Books and Games LLC

So the party just finished a battle in which they fought an advanced elder brain and four paragon mind flayers, all with psionics and class levels. During the battle two of the party went down - the druid was wished back to life by one of the wizards, but the other fatality (also a wizard) was taken, kit and kaboodle, by the remaining mind flayers when they left the scene.

Terribly banged up, the party retreated home, and realized that the missing wizard had something like five crucial artifacts on his body when it was taken.

So, after true resurrecting the dead wizard, the two wizards started burning wishes to get the artifacts back. Now, I'm not a wish Nazi, so I just asked them how certain they wanted to be that they got each one back - thus, they knew it would be more costly than a regular wish. They wanted to be 100% certain, so after the first wish, they knew that it was costing them 10,000xp for each uber-powerful wish.

So then the formerly dead wizard goes "hey, I want my cloak back too!" After all it was a nice cloak giving him a wonderful bonus on Spellcraft checks. And how certain did he want to be that he got it back? Pretty certain, but he didn't want to burn 10,000xp on it.

So he ended up in the stronghold of the illithids, with his hands on the cloak - which was being worn at the time by the one who'd just ate his brain a few minutes before. He didn't survive that time either.


Got my favorite right here. An incident my group and I call the 'Drarpoon Gun'.

I was playing a summoner (level 9-11 I think) who I had just built, whose theme was to have the right mundane/wondrous item for every occasion. Guy had 3 handy haversacks, all near full of junk. Party hears there is a dragon in this desert. No one mentions it is bronze and good. So we begin to trek across the desert, fight some scorpions, and camp for the night. When camping, we decide we need a battle plan to deal with the dragon. Another character says 'let's take stock of everything we have that might help'. So I begin to drop several extra-dimensional dozens of pounds of stuff around the tent, and finally pull out a chalkboard and chalk to make the plan on. After about 2 RL hours of back and forth we end up with this plan.

We cast Light, Dancing Lights, and Daylight on the barbarian, as well as an extended Ghost Sound. Basically make him into a giant lure. He goes screaming and lit into the night, running around trying to attract attention. When the dragon sees him, he avoids it's attacks long enough to make it back to us. We, busily, have dug a hole in the sand, bored a hole in a buoy with a trowel, and created a makeshift harpoon gun, stuck in sand. Our monk of the 4 winds strikes with electrical damage, it passes through 3 silver arrows buried tip to shaft in the sand and through the buoy, which then sets off 4 thunderstones in the bottom of the buoy. This fires a spear, forcefully, through a Greased cavity, upward into the dragon. The spear is tipped with all the scorpion poison we could gather, and has a rope tied to it. All party members grab the ropes and start dragging, including the druid's Large wolf, who is standing in a harness made of a fishing net. We manage to drag the dragon out of the sky with combined strength checks.

Then we apologize for forcibly impaling and dragging down a good, Medium sized, bronze dragon. Still.... great story.


first time playing hunter the reckoning, I played a luchador masked monster fighter (my theme rarely changes) i was used to dnd style combat.not all this sneaking around and dumping buckets of gas on vampires out side the law office where they work. so we saw a "gansta" vampire i boldly tell the dm "i am going to tackle him" the dm asks me "are you sure" (we all know what that means) but I was pretty certain i could take him. so i charge him in this parking lot he looks at me pulls out a glock and shoots me in the stomach X2 sending me to the hospital for 2 weeks. and almost killing my character. i think the dm fudged the rolls I was basically a shirtless hulk hogan in a mask


I was laughing about this on my break to fill up the coffee machine here at work.
we once played 3.5 with a buddy who was a first time dm. and the last adventure had been full of vampires and all sorts of awful stuff. we were in a roman history portal kinda alternate universe.
and we arrived at this mansion of an elderly man in a wheel chair with a skin disease.
Has we were invited in he seemed harmless enough but he other fighter who was and is kinda a jackass in a good way whispers in my ear" dude he is so a vampire" i told him he was not a vampire but a sick old man, has the servant who served us drinks is leaving the fighter follows him. and proceeds to stab him in the chest with a candelabra claiming he was a servant of a vampire.

I have a pleasant conversation with this old man. about 5 minutes later the fighter runs in covered in blood he looks at me and says "you have to help me get rid of the evidence". he had murdered the servant thinking he was a vampire. he was not, we both look at the old man and before i can say anything the fighter breaks a wooden chair screams "vampire" and stabs him in the heart he then proceeded to burn down the mansion to "hide the evidence"
that was our cover story he was a vampire in case any body asks and we had to burn down the house to save the village. the best part was that the old man who was supposed to send us on this quest was in fact a vampire! and we had killed the bbeg with out even knowing it we of course made the dm furious and he quit but it was incredibly funny.

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