Overheard at the Paizo office


Off-Topic Discussions

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Paizo Employee Sales Imp

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Ashley: there are far too many acronyms in the game industry
Liz: ISWYDT

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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cs erik: No, Cosmo, biggest rock isn't best rock

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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ashley: if you can't have tacos at christmas i dont want to celebrate it with you

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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cosmo: taco talk taco talk taco talk taco talk taco talk taco talk

Webstore Gninja Minion

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Christopher: Your brains cannot repel awesome of this magnitude.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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cosmo: [ gives Cosmo Seal of Creepproval™]

Webstore Gninja Minion

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*makes coffee*
Judy: Smells like morale.
Me: So when a bard gives you a morale bonus, it smells like coffee?
Judy: ...Yeah, that works.


Sara Marie wrote:
cosmo: [ gives Cosmo Seal of Creepproval™]

Whoa, it most of been super creepy.

Good thing we had top men sealing the words away.

Paizo Employee Sales Imp

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Ashley: There's a "that's what she said" joke in there somewhere...

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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ashley: can "POUNCH" be a new rage feat? you gain the ability to pounce 20ft and then punch your target in the face.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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sara marie: I think we need a "House Rules From the Overheard at Paizo" free PDF supplement
sara marie: it would be so broken

liz: Include the "Critical Fumbles must all be blamed on Cosmo" rule.

ashley: the last rule would just be "and then all the PCs die"

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

gary: i thought that anecdote was going to end in something more zombie-related


Azure_Zero wrote:
Good thing we had top men sealing the words away.

WHO?!

Top. Men.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

I removed a couple posts. I think its best to avoid dragging a currently contentious topic into the Overheard thread. Thanks!


Sara Marie wrote:
ashley: can "POUNCH" be a new rage feat? you gain the ability to pounce 20ft and then punch your target in the face.

Let me see ya GRIT YOUR TEETH

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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ashley: this is why you have no friends cosmo

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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christopher: Cosmo's like a Weeping Angel but with clown makeup and wandering hands.

Digital Products Assistant

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I'm horrible with names, sorry guys.

Goblinworks Employee Insert the best Golum impression I have *EVER* heard, I kid you not!

Silver Crusade

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Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Sara Marie wrote:
ashley: this is why you have no friends cosmo

He's got me! :3


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Rysky wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
ashley: this is why you have no friends cosmo
He's got me! :3

And me!

Silver Crusade Assistant Software Developer

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Chris Lambertz wrote:

I'm horrible with names, sorry guys.

Goblinworks Employee Insert the best Golum impression I have *EVER* heard, I kid you not!

It was insanely good.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens Subscriber
Sara Marie wrote:
christopher: Cosmo's like a Weeping Angel but with clown makeup and wandering hands.

:-o

I may never sleep again.


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Sara Marie wrote:
I removed a couple posts. I think its best to avoid dragging a currently contentious topic into the Overheard thread. Thanks!

Apologies, Sara Marie. I hadn't realized it had become a sensitive topic; my comment was meant in jest. I agree, we should keep this thread focused on the funny. Carry on, fellows!

Webstore Gninja Minion

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Gary: EXCUSE ME SIR. WE'RE THE HELLKNIGHTS. PLEASE STEP THIS WAY.

Webstore Gninja Minion

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[Redacted A]: Mostly we just let the NSA do all the validation.
[Redacted B]: They can read your character and chronicle sheets at a distance of 8 miles.

Paizo Employee Paizo Customer Service Algorithm

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Cosmo:Rad
Crystal:Wait. Wait...
Crystal:Did you just say "rad"?
Cosmo:pretty tubular, huh?
Crystal:I am done.

Grand Lodge RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

Sara Marie wrote:
ashley: can "POUNCH" be a new rage feat? you gain the ability to pounce 20ft and then punch your target in the face.

Falcooooonnn... POUNCH!


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with great radness comes great responsibility

Scarab Sages

Liz Courts wrote:

[Redacted A]: Mostly we just let the NSA do all the validation.

[Redacted B]: They can read your character and chronicle sheets at a distance of 8 miles.

Actually 8 was last year's figure. We're already up to 11 as of January!


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Liz Courts wrote:
Gary: EXCUSE ME SIR. WE'RE THE HELLKNIGHTS. PLEASE STEP THIS WAY.

"(We Are) The Hellknights" is the hidden track on Kraftwerk's album, The Flumph-Machine.


Liz Courts wrote:

*makes coffee*

Judy: Smells like morale.
Me: So when a bard gives you a morale bonus, it smells like coffee?
Judy: ...Yeah, that works.

Now I want to create a base class that buffs allies with smells and hampers enemies with stink...

Dark Archive

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Drejk wrote:
Now I want to create a base class that buffs allies with smells and hampers enemies with stink...

Ooh, troglodyte bard! With bonuses to affect creatures with the Scent quality!

The bards who grants morale bonuses through the senses of touch or taste have their work cut out for them...


Set wrote:
Drejk wrote:
Now I want to create a base class that buffs allies with smells and hampers enemies with stink...
Ooh, troglodyte bard! With bonuses to affect creatures with the Scent quality!

Stinkomancer?

Quote:

The bards who grants morale bonuses through the senses of touch or taste have their work cut out for them...

Lickolyte?


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Cosmo Cultist wrote:
Rysky wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
ashley: this is why you have no friends cosmo
He's got me! :3
And me!

And me!


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Set wrote:
Drejk wrote:
Now I want to create a base class that buffs allies with smells and hampers enemies with stink...

Ooh, troglodyte bard! With bonuses to affect creatures with the Scent quality!

The bards who grants morale bonuses through the senses of touch or taste have their work cut out for them...

That is brilliant! Consider it stolen.

Webstore Gninja Minion

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Erik K.: witch with a misfortune hex and a pugwampi familiar. gguuuhhhh
Me: Mmm. Thanks for the idea.
Cosmo: Erik, please report to my office for summary beating.
Erik K.: it's okay Cosmo, I just slammed my head into my desk a few times.  That should suffice.
Cosmo: One more time, please...for me.
Erik K.: This time, with feeling.
Cosmo: And if I can’t hear the thunk from here, then it isn’t hard enough for giving her THAT idea.


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Liz Courts wrote:

Erik K.: witch with a misfortune hex and a pugwampi familiar. gguuuhhhh

Me: Mmm. Thanks for the idea.
Cosmo: Erik, please report to my office for summary beating.
Erik K.: it's okay Cosmo, I just slammed my head into my desk a few times.  That should suffice.
Cosmo: One more time, please...for me.
Erik K.: This time, with feeling.
Cosmo: And if I can’t hear the thunk from here, then it isn’t hard enough for giving her THAT idea.

And now I have shinobi ninja archetype in mind, which would be ninja with access to hexes....

Webstore Gninja Minion

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Cosmo: "I couldn't *possibly* roll a one twice."


Liz Courts wrote:

Erik K.: witch with a misfortune hex and a pugwampi familiar. gguuuhhhh

Me: Mmm. Thanks for the idea.
Cosmo: Erik, please report to my office for summary beating.
Erik K.: it's okay Cosmo, I just slammed my head into my desk a few times.  That should suffice.
Cosmo: One more time, please...for me.
Erik K.: This time, with feeling.
Cosmo: And if I can’t hear the thunk from here, then it isn’t hard enough for giving her THAT idea.

My inner DM just fell into the fetal position. (>_<)

My inner Player however... >:)

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

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Liz Courts wrote:
Cosmo: "I couldn't *possibly* roll a one twice."

Anyone who actually says this aloud deserves whatever happens.


Liz Courts wrote:
Cosmo: "I couldn't *possibly* roll a one twice."

He said before doing exactly that. Or at least that's how it usually goes in my campaign. Or my life.

Paizo Employee Sales Imp

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Ross Byers wrote:
Liz Courts wrote:
Cosmo: "I couldn't *possibly* roll a one twice."
Anyone who actually says this aloud deserves whatever happens.

...yeaaaah, about that.

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

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Cosmo wrote:
Ross Byers wrote:
Liz Courts wrote:
Cosmo: "I couldn't *possibly* roll a one twice."
Anyone who actually says this aloud deserves whatever happens.
...yeaaaah, about that.

My case, it rests.

Silver Crusade

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Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Cosmo wrote:
Ross Byers wrote:
Liz Courts wrote:
Cosmo: "I couldn't *possibly* roll a one twice."
Anyone who actually says this aloud deserves whatever happens.
...yeaaaah, about that.

Oooo who else got blown up?

Paizo Employee Sales Imp

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Rysky wrote:
Cosmo wrote:
Ross Byers wrote:
Liz Courts wrote:
Cosmo: "I couldn't *possibly* roll a one twice."
Anyone who actually says this aloud deserves whatever happens.
...yeaaaah, about that.
Oooo who else got blown up?

No one else was hit (I know my business...) but, since I was using Deadly Aim, Focused Aim, and Inspire Courage, while rolling max damage... well... I dang-near one-shot myself.

Aside: Mysterious Stranger & Arcane Duelist is awesome. I'm a singing cowboy!

Dark Archive

There is now a terrifying mental picture of a singing cowboy in many people's minds


I blame Cosmo.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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ulgulanoth wrote:
There is now a terrifying mental picture of a singing cowboy in many people's minds

Yes, well, fortunately for you, you don't have to be physically present at the game where his gunslinger with the slow cowboy drawl just took a level in bard.

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