Overheard at the Paizo office


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Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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crystal: Amateur. I've been redacted twice in a single post

Paizo Employee Chief Technical Officer

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Technically, this one should be in "Overheard at the Goblinworks Office":

Goblin Fridge Nazi wrote:

Whoever is breaking a flat to take one coke out, stop it immediately! Were you brought up by wolves? Take a dozen out and put them in the fridge - preferably half a flat at a time.

And don't get me started on whoever left the retaining ring on half a six pack of Barq's root beer. Are we animals, or are we men?

Sincerely,
The Fridge Nazi

Goblin Coder wrote:

I broke the flat and put three in, so I was not raised by wolves. My coke strategy is:

SodaType type = SodaType.COKE_ZERO;
GetSoda(type, 1);
if (SodaCount(type) < 4)
{
uint handfulAmount = UnityEngine.Random(3, 5);
AddSoda(type, handfulAmount);
}

...apparently my coke strategy has a bug. :(

Goblin Artist wrote:

my strategy

open fridge
pick a sodie that I like

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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redacted a: for what its worth, when i borrow a coke from GW , i always replace the one i took
redacted a: no more, no less
redacted a: so they can't pin it on me

redacted b: that fridge is tainted
redacted b: and I'm pretty sure HR could beat it in a fight

redacted b: HR tells other beverage providers to Suck It, and then it flops carelessly over them and jams your coke zero just for fun

redacted b: it has ~*personality*~

redacted c: I thought it pierced the can, sprayed soda all over its innards in joy, and then ejected the empty.

redacted b: oh ye who does not understand the subtleties of hatred
redacted b: it's not a complex creature, it's just spiteful

Spoiler:
Names redacted to protect the innocent guilty.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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more interview question advice

redacted a: 12. What are your thoughts on the [redacted] of Golarion elves?

robot chris: gosh darnit, redacted a, I already had my allotment of coke

redacted b: i'm guessing its a long time between [redacted]
redacted b: since their [redacted] is so [redacted]

cosmo: I’ll take a coke

cs erik: Theres an ask Merisiel thread, shes an elf
cs erik: I'm sure James will LOVE that!

robot chris: poor James


Over the course of my gaming groups life we have had many new people, so I developed a questionnaire to ensure a good fit with the group. Here is one of the questions that I ask.

14. You have just been given a powerful magical item from the DM (the fool). What is it?

a. A sword to smite your foes with.
b. An artifact with the power to destroy the known universe.
c. A cloak that makes you more charming.
d. Something you are probably going to throw away in a few levels anyways.
e. The final piece to your master plan.

The correct answers are b or e.


Who cares for coke zero, anyway?

(unless one has diabetes... but I suspect that folks with diabetes should probably avoid any sort of coke, even zero)

Contributor

Sara Marie wrote:

Me, getting advice from cosmo for interview questions.

cosmo: 1) How would you kill everyone in this room, hide the bodies, and get out of the country without being caught?

That's easy. I'd frame Cosmo. It's buy me at least two months of time before anyone realized that Cosmo's pleas of innocence were true; between the goatee and his recent confession about the usage and production of biological weaponry I'd get a +40 circumstance bonus on my combined Bluff and Linguistics skill checks to frame him.


Drejk wrote:

Who cares for coke zero, anyway?

(unless one has diabetes... but I suspect that folks with diabetes should probably avoid any sort of coke, even zero)

For me, Coke Zero fall somewhere in between Diet Coke (bleah) and Real Coke, with the real sugar, from Mexico (mmmmm....) Of course, I should likely be avoiding soda altogether, but some days I find that more difficult that others...

Dark Archive

Drejk wrote:

Who cares for coke zero, anyway?

(unless one has diabetes... but I suspect that folks with diabetes should probably avoid any sort of coke, even zero)

Coke Zero (or Pepsi Max, whichever is cheapest that week) are *way* tastier than Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi, for those of us who were once diabetic and don't want to ever be again. :)


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Pathfinder Companion, Maps Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Now, see, I like Diet Coke better than Coke Zero (and won't touch Diet Pepsi at all -- tastes like soap). But I read when Coke Zero came out that it was marketed toward men's tastes since Diet Coke pretty much had the female market sewn up.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Sara Marie wrote:

more interview question advice

redacted a: 12. What are your thoughts on the [redacted] of Golarion elves?

It's a good thing I don't have an interview with you guys any time soon. The way Pathfinder has in general done elves is one of the bigger irritations I have with the Golarion setting.

That one would probably trip me up.

The disposing of bodies one not so much with the ready availability of raptors at ones disposal and Cosmo around to blame things on.

Dark Archive

Sara Marie wrote:

more interview question advice

redacted a: 12. What are your thoughts on the [redacted] of Golarion elves?

Possible mad-libs;

1) ears
2) sexuality
3) dietary preferences

Sara Marie wrote:

redacted b: i'm guessing its a long time between [redacted]

redacted b: since their [redacted] is so [redacted]

1) hearing something and acting on it / auditory canal / long

2) happy fun times / refractory period / long
3) binging and purging / Constitution / delicate


Set wrote:
Drejk wrote:

Who cares for coke zero, anyway?

(unless one has diabetes... but I suspect that folks with diabetes should probably avoid any sort of coke, even zero)

Coke Zero (or Pepsi Max, whichever is cheapest that week) are *way* tastier than Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi, for those of us who were once diabetic and don't want to ever be again. :)

Point taken.

Myself given choice between those I would prefer Pepsi Max, though.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Mountain. Dew.

Dark Archive

Rysky wrote:
Mountain. Dew.

I used to tuck away a 24 pack of that over an all-day gaming session.

Hence, diabetes. :)

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Set wrote:
Rysky wrote:
Mountain. Dew.

I used to tuck away a 24 pack of that over an all-day gaming session.

Hence, diabetes. :)

All good things in moderation... Except kittens.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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robot chris: would you like to climb into this comically oversized cannon? I swear it's not aimed at the sun or anything

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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robot chris: I'm going to need a bigger cannon

Dark Archive Software Developer

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Sara Marie: I'm off to pick up my cats from the vet
CS Erik: Oh are you going meow?
CS Erik: cats you later
CS Erik: My puns are so bad they cause nyan-lethal damage!

Paizo Employee Paizo Customer Service Algorithm

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Christopher Anthony wrote:

Sara Marie: I'm off to pick up my cats from the vet

CS Erik: Oh are you going meow?
CS Erik: cats you later
CS Erik: My puns are so bad they cause nyan-lethal damage!

I admit to those, I don't want to be caught lion.

Dark Archive Software Developer

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Robot Chris: Who put [redacted] in my [redacted]?

Robot Chris: My whole week has been full of [redacted].

Robot Chris: I don't know how to use [redacted].

Dark Archive

Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Adventure, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber
Rysky wrote:
Set wrote:
Rysky wrote:
Mountain. Dew.

I used to tuck away a 24 pack of that over an all-day gaming session.

Hence, diabetes. :)

All good things in moderation... Except kittens.

Mountain. Dew. Throwback. Pure cane sugar awesomeness, both in the good and bad senses of the word.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

We should all have a mad libs type of contest where we try to come up with the best filler words for all the ([redacted]) on this board. What could possibly go wrong?


Erik Keith wrote:
Christopher Anthony wrote:

Sara Marie: I'm off to pick up my cats from the vet

CS Erik: Oh are you going meow?
CS Erik: cats you later
CS Erik: My puns are so bad they cause nyan-lethal damage!
I admit to those, I don't want to be caught lion.

Gah! Those puns are awful and some form of consequence should be designed to happen for such a thing.


Kvantum wrote:
Mountain. Dew. Throwback. Pure cane sugar awesomeness, both in the good and bad senses of the word.

I could probably become diabetic just from drinking this stuff alone, if I let myself.


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Erik Keith wrote:
Christopher Anthony wrote:

Sara Marie: I'm off to pick up my cats from the vet

CS Erik: Oh are you going meow?
CS Erik: cats you later
CS Erik: My puns are so bad they cause nyan-lethal damage!
I admit to those, I don't want to be caught lion.

What, they're purrfect.


Rysky wrote:
Set wrote:
Rysky wrote:
Mountain. Dew.

I used to tuck away a 24 pack of that over an all-day gaming session.

Hence, diabetes. :)

All good things in moderation... Except kittens.

*Purr*


SnowJade wrote:
Rysky wrote:
Set wrote:
Rysky wrote:
Mountain. Dew.

I used to tuck away a 24 pack of that over an all-day gaming session.

Hence, diabetes. :)

All good things in moderation... Except kittens.
*Purr*

Mew!


'Wuuf'


BTW, if you're ever in Belize, there's a Coca-cola bottling plant in San Pedro, on Ambergris Caye (pronounced like "key"). It uses real sugar. You rent a bicycle or a golf cart and go pick up a couple of flat cases to put in the fridge in your room (or you can get Orange Crush).

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Companion Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Rysky wrote:
Set wrote:
Rysky wrote:
Mountain. Dew.

I used to tuck away a 24 pack of that over an all-day gaming session.

Hence, diabetes. :)

All good things in moderation... Except kittens.

Me and Spike agree with this sentiment.

Dark Archive

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Oh, kittens, definitely in moderation. With all the allergen-dander and that toxic stuff lubricating their wee little claws, you'll get crazy sick if you eat too many in a row...

What?


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Set wrote:

Oh, kittens, definitely in moderation. With all the allergen-dander and that toxic stuff lubricating their wee little claws, you'll get crazy sick if you eat too many in a row...

What?

Mistress Bast wants to have a word with you, Set.

Lantern Lodge

Mythic JMD031 wrote:
Erik Keith wrote:
Christopher Anthony wrote:

Sara Marie: I'm off to pick up my cats from the vet

CS Erik: Oh are you going meow?
CS Erik: cats you later
CS Erik: My puns are so bad they cause nyan-lethal damage!
I admit to those, I don't want to be caught lion.
Gah! Those puns are awful and some form of consequence should be designed to happen for such a thing.

Are you saying there needs to be punishment?

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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christopher: No lava. Lava is on backorder. We just have superheated pyroclastic flow.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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christopher: Things I wish I could post to the Overheard thread.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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gary: pony snorkels have been requisitioned

gary: unfortunately due to warehouse snafu we received pony snerkels instead

Dark Archive Software Developer

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Hordshyrd wrote:
Are you saying there needs to be punishment?

Working with Erik is all the PUNishment anyone should be subjected to.


Christopher Anthony wrote:
Hordshyrd wrote:
Are you saying there needs to be punishment?
Working with Erik is all the PUNishment anyone should be subjected to.

You're a PUNny guy, Chris.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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[bizarre warning from software]

sara marie: I do not know what it wants

christopher: If it's any comfort, I doubt it knows, either.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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jessica: Do we need a clause in there clarifying that this was after he died?

gary: it's a more interesting story if they [redacted] him before death though.

justin: do you *need* to clarify that he died before [redactification]?

jessica: I feel like it's implied since it isn't exactly *traditional* in [Redacted] to [redactifiy] the still-living

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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robot chris: I may have stupided a thing

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

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Sara Marie wrote:

jessica: Do we need a clause in there clarifying that this was after he died?

gary: it's a more interesting story if they [redacted] him before death though.

justin: do you *need* to clarify that he died before [redactification]?

jessica: I feel like it's implied since it isn't exactly *traditional* in [Redacted] to [redactifiy] the still-living

I'm putting a dollar on 'mummify'.


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How much money would I get if I trademarked "[redacted]"?


Ross Byers wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:

jessica: Do we need a clause in there clarifying that this was after he died?

gary: it's a more interesting story if they [redacted] him before death though.

justin: do you *need* to clarify that he died before [redactification]?

jessica: I feel like it's implied since it isn't exactly *traditional* in [Redacted] to [redactifiy] the still-living

I'm putting a dollar on 'mummify'.

Oh sure, be logical about it.

Dark Archive

Doesn't have to be mummify.

Could be embalm or autopsy or cremate or bury or animate-as-undead or even memorialize!

Or even eat. Not that it's 'traditional' in most traditions to eat people even after they die...

Paizo Employee Sales Imp

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Ross Byers wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:

jessica: Do we need a clause in there clarifying that this was after he died?

gary: it's a more interesting story if they [redacted] him before death though.

justin: do you *need* to clarify that he died before [redactification]?

jessica: I feel like it's implied since it isn't exactly *traditional* in [Redacted] to [redactifiy] the still-living

I'm putting a dollar on 'mummify'.

You think we'd mask it that obviously?


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Cosmo wrote:
Ross Byers wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:

jessica: Do we need a clause in there clarifying that this was after he died?

gary: it's a more interesting story if they [redacted] him before death though.

justin: do you *need* to clarify that he died before [redactification]?

jessica: I feel like it's implied since it isn't exactly *traditional* in [Redacted] to [redactifiy] the still-living

I'm putting a dollar on 'mummify'.
You think we'd mask it that obviously?

*slow clap*

*faster clapping*

*rises out of his seat, clapping*


HUZZARGH!!

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