Overheard at the Paizo office


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Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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robot chris re: downstairs offices: (I hear there are sharks)

ashley: nope, just mice. which at this point with all of the food that's been brought in lately might be ROUS


Can't be. They don't exist.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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robot chris: I kinda like my little hive of scum and villainy


Sara Marie wrote:
robot chris: I kinda like my little hive of scum and villainy

Must not be a particularly wretched hive. ;)

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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redacted: maybe I'm farting in reverse


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Tels wrote:
Thomas LeBlanc wrote:
For all the peeg lovers, a new baby hippo has been discoverd!
That website seriously needs a better name for it's domain.

Maybe, but I give it 3 squees anyway for cuteness.


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SnowJade wrote:
Tels wrote:
Thomas LeBlanc wrote:
For all the peeg lovers, a new baby hippo has been discoverd!
That website seriously needs a better name for it's domain.
Maybe, but I give it 3 squees anyway for cuteness.

Might have been minor dyslexia, but when I first glanced at the domain name, I thought it said hairless sh*t p**%*s.


Sara Marie wrote:
redacted: maybe I'm farting in reverse

That could get painful and/or several other unsavory things after a while...

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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cosmo: DOWN THIS PATHWAY LIES MADNESS! PROBABLY!
cosmo: ...but you’ll only know if you try
cosmo: I say go for it!


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Sara Marie wrote:

cosmo: DOWN THIS PATHWAY LIES MADNESS! PROBABLY!

cosmo: ...but you’ll only know if you try
cosmo: I say go for it!

Is the pathway in question the one that goes to Cosmo's office?


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Cheapy wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:

cosmo: DOWN THIS PATHWAY LIES MADNESS! PROBABLY!

cosmo: ...but you’ll only know if you try
cosmo: I say go for it!
Is the pathway in question the one that goes to Cosmo's office?

It goes down the middle of the two shrubberies, where one shrubbery is slightly higher creating a two-level effect. {goes back to sharpening the herring of mighty tree slaying +5}

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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robot chris: hm, the first ingredient is mustard sauce

robot chris: this is a Cosmo pizza

Webstore Gninja Minion

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Liz: *links to Kickstarter project*

Part 1...
Money Chris: "Unsung Story is an exciting turn-based, tactical war simulation RPG that plays across a great epoch, through individual story episodes"
Money Chris: g@%*@&n it
Liz: O:-)
Liz: Check out the credentials of those that are making it.
Money Chris: Yasumi Matsuno?
Money Chris: Do I even need to read further than that name?
Liz: You do not.
Money Chris: *grumble*backed*grumble*
Liz: >:-)

Part 2...
Wes: LIZ!!
Wes: COME ON!
Wes: QUIT IT!
Liz: BWAH HAH HAH
Wes: :D
Liz: Soon, I will have everybody's weaknesses written in my Web Gninja Chronicles. :D
Wes: Not. Cool.

Death Attack (wallet): Critical success.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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jessica: why does excel hate me

cosmo: Because you have a soul. Excel covets.

Paizo Employee Sales Imp

Sara Marie wrote:

robot chris: hm, the first ingredient is mustard sauce

robot chris: this is a Cosmo pizza

The pizza in question. My favorite pizza, and one that I make sure to get whenever I'm visiting my hometown. :)


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Cosmo wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:

robot chris: hm, the first ingredient is mustard sauce

robot chris: this is a Cosmo pizza

The pizza in question. My favorite pizza, and one that I make sure to get whenever I'm visiting my hometown. :)

I approve of two different cheese, onions and Polish sausage, but sauerkraut on pizza is overkill...

Webstore Gninja Minion

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Part 3...
Robot Chris: Matsumo Yusami is making a new tactical RPG
Robot Chris: the guy who made Tactics Ogre and Final Fantasy Tactics
Robot Chris: liz! the shiny has spread!
Liz: Eeeeexcellent, Chris.
Robot Chris: and now I'm somehow being asked to part with monies
Liz: ...It happens.
Liz: >.>
Erik Keith: You invoked the words Ogre and Battle together...
Robot Chris: ;_;
Erik Keith: *sigh*
Erik Keith: Liz
Erik Keith: WHY
Erik Keith: Liz
Erik Keith: Stahp!


No one revealed yet that that kickstarter is actually Lisa's plot to have her employees' wallets emptied so they will be bound into the servitude even more?

Oh, wait... What is a ninja doing in my room saying that I will die for revealing the secre... Aaarrrgghhh!


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Fortunately I'm immune to Death Attack (wallet).

Unfortunately that's because my wallet is already dead.


Drock11 wrote:

Fortunately I'm immune to Death Attack (wallet).

Unfortunately that's because my wallet is already dead.

I think it's desiccated corpse lies next to my wallet's rotting skeleton...


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens Subscriber

I'm beginning to suspect that Cosmo is not nearly as evil as Liz.

Gninja Liz, a.k.a. Stormbringer wrote:


Farewell, friend. I was a thousand times more evil than thou!

*runs off to back Kickstarter*


Wallet? I do not understand this word you speak, strange person.

Paizo Employee Sales Imp

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Robot Chris: yes, I even busted out the fancy í.

Dark Archive Software Developer

Crystal: Patrick broke me.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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redacted: Just because it's wrapped in a tortilla doesn't mean it's a burrito. I'd post photographic proof of this, but I like my job.
...

liz: Filling between two pieces of absorbent food counts as sammich

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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robot chris: who knows what madness lies down the path of potato salad


what the-
dang redacted just bust out a tasty quesadilla as an example instead of making it all about unfortunate google image searches that will require counseling and/or a safeword

Project Manager

Christopher: Golem's been doing the Buns of Steel workout?


SnowJade wrote:
Wallet? I do not understand this word you speak, strange person.

It's the place where I keep bills, recent receipts, id and library card.


Drejk wrote:
SnowJade wrote:
Wallet? I do not understand this word you speak, strange person.
It's the place where I keep bills, recent receipts, id and library card.

By "bills", do you mean you actually have money to put in your wallet? Some people have all the luck.


SnowJade wrote:
Drejk wrote:
SnowJade wrote:
Wallet? I do not understand this word you speak, strange person.
It's the place where I keep bills, recent receipts, id and library card.
By "bills", do you mean you actually have money to put in your wallet? Some people have all the luck.

Bills that you paid (invoice), not bill with which you pay.


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Liz Courts wrote:

Part 3...

Robot Chris: Matsumo Yusami is making a new tactical RPG
Robot Chris: the guy who made Tactics Ogre and Final Fantasy Tactics
Robot Chris: liz! the shiny has spread!
Liz: Eeeeexcellent, Chris.
Robot Chris: and now I'm somehow being asked to part with monies
Liz: ...It happens.
Liz: >.>
Erik Keith: You invoked the words Ogre and Battle together...
Robot Chris: ;_;
Erik Keith: *sigh*
Erik Keith: Liz
Erik Keith: WHY
Erik Keith: Liz
Erik Keith: Stahp!

Now once upon a time an old man told me a fable ...

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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christopher: Giving us all paddles is only going to lead to shenanigans.


Top responses to this:
1. THANK YOU SIR MAY I HAVE ANOTHER
2. Did somebody say 'weeaboo'?
3. well, now we're only up the creek

I couldn't decide on one :(


Sara Marie wrote:
christopher: Giving us all paddles is only going to lead to shenanigans.

Shenanigans?

Webstore Gninja Minion

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Erik Keith: Pathfinder, teaching people to love spiders one picture at a time.

Liberty's Edge Digital Products Assistant

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Crystal Frasier: It's a cute little spider wearing a cloak!

Erik Keith: o.o

Crystal Frasier: His little cloak has eight little sleeves <3

Sara Marie: o.O

Crystal Frasier: And he's smiling! He's so cute!

Erik Keith: =o

Chris Lambertz: omg

Crystal Frasier: He's got a little coat!

Chris Lambertz: She is not joking.

Crystal Frasier: Eeeeeeee

Chris Lambertz: it is... omg... OMG

Erik Keith: Pathfinder, teaching people to love spiders one picture at a time.

Crystal Frasier: He's gonna commit mischief.

Ashley Gillaspie: I WILL NOT SUCCUM TO THE CUTE! I will not encourage more spiders in fantasy works!

Crystal Frasier: But. He. Has. A. Little. Coat.

Crystal Frasier: He's like if Stuart Little went through an emo phase

Silver Crusade

I approve of this positive portrayal of arachnid-kind =)


does the spider's bite cause necrotizing fasciitis
y/n?
is it still cute
y/n?

Silver Crusade

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Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Pictures of said cute spider pretty pretty please :3

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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gary: i could have sworn i emptied my pockets when i got here but there they are pulsating

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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cosmo: From time to time, people try to convince me that Gary is in fact NOT evil.

Paizo Employee Sales Imp

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Sara Marie: should have [redacted] before i went to lunchies

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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liz: Yeah, working with people I don't want to shiv in a dark alley is pretty cool.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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robot chris: I wonder if this is what knitting with spaghetti is like

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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robot chris: sounds like we need a dirt devil, some hairspray, matches, a blender, some candles, sage, and a hammer or three

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

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Sara Marie wrote:
robot chris: I wonder if this is what knitting with spaghetti is like

Just remember, don't add the tomato sauce until you are done knitting.

Trust me on this.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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Me, getting advice from cosmo for interview questions.

cosmo: 1) How would you kill everyone in this room, hide the bodies, and get out of the country without being caught?

redacted: doomsday death ray
redacted: get the whole planet
redacted: two birds, one stone
redacted: er, I mean, THAT'S NOT VERY NICE

cosmo: well... more like 7 billion birds.
cosmo: but that is a VERY impressive stone.

redacted: well the important thing is to get a mojo jojo helmet to show off your impressive brain BEFORE you press the button, otherwise, how will they notice your excellence beforehand?

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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redacted: wow, I've been redacted twice in one week

redacted: is that a record?

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