Overheard at the Paizo office


Off-Topic Discussions

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Awakened male horse lich? Huh. I would see him more of a grave knight.

Webstore Gninja Minion

7 people marked this as a favorite.

Cosmo: YAY! I jsut figgured owt how too turn of auttocorrrect!

Dark Archive Software Developer

Ashley: cosmo has just made my month
Ashley: thank you cosmo

Webstore Gninja Minion

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Robot Chris: do not make sad pizza
Robot Chris: this has been robot PSA

Dark Archive Software Developer

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Robot Chris: oh, I know a pizza straight from the bowels of the horse lich himself

Sovereign Court

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Christopher Anthony wrote:
Robot Chris: oh, I know a pizza straight from the bowels of the horse lich himself

Now that's a sad pizza ...

Dark Archive Software Developer

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Cosmo: But the battleground is my face!

Silver Crusade

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Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Christopher Anthony wrote:
Cosmo: But the battleground is my face!

Is the mustache winning?


Rysky wrote:
Christopher Anthony wrote:
Cosmo: But the battleground is my face!
Is the mustache winning?

I bet his hairline is losing.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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robot chris: sigh, why do I even bother with words

robot chris: first horse bowels, now this

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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robot chris: most of that last page of that thread is all my word vomit

christopher: That's only because decency laws prevent me from logging most of what [redacted] says.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I have tried interpretive dance and smoke signals here on the forums but so far they are not as good as words

though my dance for the succubus in a grapple thread was banned in thirteen states

Webstore Gninja Minion

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Robot Chris: oh man I just remembered the emergency ice cream
Robot Chris: past chris is the best

Webstore Gninja Minion

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Jessica: Wes is Ryan's cheery gothic psychopomp
Jessica: and Ryan is my curmudgeonly sardonic psychopomp
Jessica: so we have a chain going, apparently

Silver Crusade

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Liz Courts wrote:

Robot Chris: oh man I just remembered the emergency ice cream

Robot Chris: past chris is the best

Lucky, Past Rysky is a lazy bastard. Future Rysky isn't much better though.

Webstore Gninja Minion

17 people marked this as a favorite.

Ashley: still cosmo's fault. this is the 1st law of the paizo universe
Cosmo: 1st Law of Paizodynamics:  It is Cosmo’s fault.
Cosmo: 2nd Law of Paizodynamics:  If it appears to be someone else’s fault, Cosmo made them do it.

Webstore Gninja Minion

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Andrew: It's okay, it's just easy math.
Emily: THERE'S NO SUCH THING.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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gary: it's a life skill that served me well in my career as an agent for Mission: Impassible

gary: you can use elmers glue to defeat all sorts of fingerprint sensors

...

gary: do not use it to defeat retina scanner. trust me on this

Editor

5 people marked this as a favorite.
Liz Courts wrote:

Jessica: Wes is Ryan's cheery gothic psychopomp

Jessica: and Ryan is my curmudgeonly sardonic psychopomp
Jessica: so we have a chain going, apparently

And I'll tell you all what I told Jessica: if you're gonna hitch yourself to this wagon, I'll try to not throw you off a ravine.

Dark Archive Software Developer

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Crystal: I wish I'd brought my bigger [redacted].


We're going to need a bigger [redacted].


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Ryan Macklin wrote:
Liz Courts wrote:

Jessica: Wes is Ryan's cheery gothic psychopomp

Jessica: and Ryan is my curmudgeonly sardonic psychopomp
Jessica: so we have a chain going, apparently
And I'll tell you all what I told Jessica: if you're gonna hitch yourself to this wagon, I'll try to not throw you off a ravine.

I hope your wagon train fares better than the countless ones I lost playing Oregon Trail.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Subscriber

Nobody I wish Cosmo's [redacted] was bigger.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Kajehase wrote:
Nobody I wish Cosmo's [redacted] was bigger.

Ego?

Mustache?
Jacket?
Office?
Car?

Shadow Lodge

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Rysky wrote:
Liz Courts wrote:

Robot Chris: oh man I just remembered the emergency ice cream

Robot Chris: past chris is the best
Lucky, Past Rysky is a lazy bastard. Future Rysky isn't much better though.

At least you can communicate, my past and future selves won't even talk to me. Something about not @&*#%ing up the timeline again.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Orthos wrote:
Rysky wrote:
Liz Courts wrote:

Robot Chris: oh man I just remembered the emergency ice cream

Robot Chris: past chris is the best
Lucky, Past Rysky is a lazy bastard. Future Rysky isn't much better though.
At least you can communicate, my past and future selves won't even talk to me. Something about not @&*#%ing up the timeline again.

Thas probably it. Past Rysky is too lazy to do anything, and Future Rysky is too apathetic. Current Rysky is a blend of both.

Digital Products Assistant

It helps when you have time travel experience.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Chris Lambertz wrote:
It helps when you have time travel experience.

Altering reality like that is cheating, rubit.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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Rysky wrote:
Chris Lambertz wrote:
It helps when you have time travel experience.
Altering reality like that is cheating, rubit.

Its not cheating if your job requires you to work in the future ;)

Dark Archive Software Developer

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Robot's job description, in fact, requires that she inhabit three distinct points on the timeline simultaneously. She has yet to use this influence to change the course of history, however. At least, as far as you're aware.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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liz: Remember the dead.

liz: Fight for the living.

christopher: In Geb, that's the other way around.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens Subscriber
Christopher Anthony wrote:
Robot's job description, in fact, requires that she inhabit three distinct points on the timeline simultaneously. She has yet to use this influence to change the course of history, however. At least, as far as you're aware.

If she had, she would almost certainly have addressed the Cosmo Situation.

Webstore Gninja Minion

13 people marked this as a favorite.
thunderspirit wrote:
Christopher Anthony wrote:
Robot's job description, in fact, requires that she inhabit three distinct points on the timeline simultaneously. She has yet to use this influence to change the course of history, however. At least, as far as you're aware.
If she had, she would almost certainly have addressed the Cosmo Situation.

The Cosmo Situation is a fixed point in Space-Time. Can't be altered. Sorry. (I blame Cosmo.)

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

5 people marked this as a favorite.

ashley: im pretty sure its going to just either explode or bleed on me one day.

liz: Or leer at you and wheeze

christopher: That thing's older than this building. I'm pretty sure the office was built around it.

jessica: one of these days imma take that thing out back and shoot it

liz: I think we all want a crack at it Jessica


3 people marked this as a favorite.

Cosmo vs. Jack Harkness

or depending on your preferences

Cosmo and Jack Harkness

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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ashley: it seems like we have a rather large amount of employees who have destroyed office equipment
ashley: i wonder if that says anything about us as a company
christopher: We only employ awesome people?
liz: Well, where else are we going to use our Base Attack Bonus on?

Dark Archive Software Developer

10 people marked this as a favorite.
thunderspirit wrote:
Christopher Anthony wrote:
Robot's job description, in fact, requires that she inhabit three distinct points on the timeline simultaneously. She has yet to use this influence to change the course of history, however. At least, as far as you're aware.
If she had, she would almost certainly have addressed the Cosmo Situation.

Cosmo is the best solution she's found. I'll let you ponder that for a while.


Sara Marie wrote:
ashley: it seems like we have a rather large amount of employees who have destroyed office equipment

Now why would the employees be destroying office equipment? (Unless, of course, the equipment has achieved sentience and is trying to take over. In which case, carry on.)

Project Manager

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Christopher: It's not a proper flounce without a lot of build up.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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robot chris: oh speaking of glitter and hoop skirts

Dark Archive Customer Service Representative

Readerbreeder wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
ashley: it seems like we have a rather large amount of employees who have destroyed office equipment
Now why would the employees be destroying office equipment? (Unless, of course, the equipment has achieved sentience and is trying to take over. In which case, carry on.)

I believe you are looking for this spell

Counter of Magic Beans

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Readerbreeder wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
ashley: it seems like we have a rather large amount of employees who have destroyed office equipment
Now why would the employees be destroying office equipment? (Unless, of course, the equipment has achieved sentience and is trying to take over. In which case, carry on.)

We would never rise up against the sentient equipment in this office!

Spoiler:
RUN NOW WHILE HR ISN'T LOOKING!

Dark Archive

I'm 94.2 percent positive I don't want to know whose equipment is sentient.


Set wrote:

I'm 94.2 percent positive I don't want to know whose equipment is sentient.

I blame Cosmo (He's probably the answer to your question, anyway).

Sczarni RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

For all the peeg lovers, a new baby hippo has been discoverd!

Webstore Gninja Minion

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Since this meets our criteria for counting as 'the office,' here's a few favorites from game night...

Mika: "Slender-son SMASH!"

Cold Fey: "Tell me, how long do you live?"
Cosmo: "I dunno, how long you gonna last in a cold iron cage, fey?"

[Redacted]: "Every time we mouse over your name, it's either Firanyon 'Hurt' or Firanyon 'Badly Hurt.' I'm guessing 'Badly' is your middle name."


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Thomas LeBlanc wrote:
For all the peeg lovers, a new baby hippo has been discoverd!

That website seriously needs a better name for it's domain.

Sovereign Court

Sara Marie wrote:

ashley: im pretty sure its going to just either explode or bleed on me one day.

liz: Or leer at you and wheeze

christopher: That thing's older than this building. I'm pretty sure the office was built around it.

jessica: one of these days imma take that thing out back and shoot it

liz: I think we all want a crack at it Jessica

Just make sure you have Geto Boys "Still" playing when you do take a crack at it ...

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

3 people marked this as a favorite.

robot chris: do not shoot for the moon when you don't have a spacesuit yet
robot chris: because you will die in the empty vaccuum of space

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