Overheard at the Paizo office


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Vic Wertz wrote:
Goblinworks animator, in art approval meeting: We're going to need bigger underwear.

Kevin's mom from the Wonder Years, buying him pants: Plenty of room in the crotch!

Paizo Employee Customer Service & Community Manager

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robot chris: OMG JUST GIVE ME TEH COFFEE


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Do not deny the caffeinoholics. This is your only warning!

Paizo Employee Director of Brand Strategy

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Rob: Oh, come on! Everyone has an inner 6'2" Russian dominatrix!

Former VP of Finance

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Mark Moreland wrote:
Rob: Oh, come on! Everyone has an inner 6'2" Russian dominatrix!

For some of us, it's not always inner.

Liberty's Edge Contributor

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Yeah. I'm pretty much a 6'2" dominatrix every day. Hard not to be.

Paizo Employee Managing Developer

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Mark: I need an extra screen so I can see my background.

Adam: [sarcasm]That’s a great use of two monitors.[/sarcasm]

Mark: It’ll make me more productive, because looking at rot grubs eating Imrijka’s arm is relaxing!

Contributor, RPG Superstar 2010 Top 4

Mark Moreland wrote:
Rob: Oh, come on! Everyone has an inner 6'2" Russian dominatrix!

Jim: Hmm, I never realized God had such a great sense of comedic timing...

Contributor

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Overheard whilst passing through warehouse: It's ninja bombs! Ninja bombs all day!

o_O


I smell new Alchemist PrC in the works.

Contributor

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Mark: You see what it's like to have a contrarian sitting in your cube all day, Rob?

Rob: No.


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Adam Daigle wrote:

Mark: I need an extra screen so I can see my background.

Adam: [sarcasm]That’s a great use of two monitors.[/sarcasm]

Mark: It’ll make me more productive, because looking at rot grubs eating Imrijka’s arm is relaxing!

Ah the wonders of two monitors. Either increases productivity... or reduces it :P (Now if only I could get a third...)

Liberty's Edge Contributor

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Crystal: "What the... how is it 6:30?"

Andrew: "Well, it used to be 6:10. Then it changed to 6:30."

Crystal: "Is that how it works now?"

Andrew: "Mmm-hmm. It's crazy"

Contributor

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Rob: I'm not as curmudgeonly as people think I am.

Jessica: I know -- you're a curmudgeon with a heart of gold.

Sean: Eh, it's more of a heart of tarnished silver.

Contributor

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Jessica Price wrote:

Rob: I'm not as curmudgeonly as people think I am.

Jessica: I know -- you're a curmudgeon with a heart of gold.

Sean: Eh, it's more of a heart of tarnished silver.

Lies. We all know you're Old Man McCreary, talkin' 'bout the good ol' days where we had only had THAC0 and chits-in-a-cup and LIKED IT.

Paizo Employee Customer Service & Community Manager

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gary: [link to pre-alpha corgi test]

sara marie: psh loading bard

sara marie: *bar

sara marie: although,... if you could make that a loading bard that would be cool

gary: those are back ordered, would you like a loaded bard instead?

Paizo Employee Customer Service & Community Manager

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gary: and then my eyes went all buggity and rolled back in my skull

The Exchange

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Sara Marie wrote:

gary: [link to pre-alpha corgi test]

sara marie: psh loading bard

sara marie: *bar

sara marie: although,... if you could make that a loading bard that would be cool

gary: those are back ordered, would you like a loaded bard instead?

Man, I wish that would happen for PFO.

Paizo Employee Sales Associate

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Accountant Chris: Lighter?

Robot Chris: LASERS

Liz: FIRE!

Liz: THERE GOES TOKYO! GO GO GODZILLA!

Web Product Manager

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Cosmo The best part was the screaming.

Paizo Employee Customer Service & Community Manager

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will: there's no such thing as a good fart.

Web Product Manager

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Cosmo:

"You know Bella, Jacob?" Lauren asked—in what I imagined was an insolent tone—from across the fire.

"We've sort of known each other since I was born," he laughed, smiling at me again. "I think she was she one asking about getting the soda machine refilled all those times."

"How nice." She didn't sound like she thought it was nice at all, and her pale, fishy eyes narrowed. She was very thirsty for soda.

"Bella," she called again, watching my face carefully, "I was just saying to Tyler that it was too bad none of the Cullens could come out today. Didn't anyone think to invite them?" Her expression of concern was unconvincing.

"You mean Dr. Carlisle Cullen's family?" the tall, older boy asked before I could respond, much to Lauren's irritation. He was really closer to a man than a boy, and his voice was very deep. Very, very deep.

"Yes, do you know them?" she asked condescendingly, turning halfway toward him.

"The Cullens don't come here," he said in a tone that closed the subject, ignoring her question. "They're too busy. They have actually seen to it that the pop machine is now refilled. Team Edward."

Tyler, trying to win back her attention, asked Lauren's opinion on a CD he held. She was distracted, thinking of all that sweet, sweet Coke.

I stared at the deep-voiced boy, taken aback, but he was looking away toward the dark forest behind us. He'd said that the Cullens didn't come here, but his tone had implied something more—that they weren't allowed; they were the soda providers. His manner left a strange impression on me, and I tried to ignore it without success. I decided to find a quarter and go buy myself one of those cans of Diet Dr. Pepper.

Paizo Employee Senior Software Developer

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Cosmo: I need more cowbell

Paizo Employee Sales Associate

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Gary: I need a waterballoon trebuchet

Paizo Employee Customer Service & Community Manager

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cosmo: I'm almost sorry for this... but not really.

Former VP of Finance

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Erik Keith: Honeycorgi doesn't care, it just runs how it wants

Robot Chris: MECHA-CORGI CRUSHES INCOMPATIBLE BROWSERS, PATHETIC HU-MAN

Paizo Employee Customer Service & Community Manager

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cs erik: I personally can't wait for our first annual running of the Corgis

Paizo Employee Customer Service & Community Manager

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cosmo: Write your manifesto upon 10# parchment, seal it in a sterilized glass mayonnaise jar, and bury it in your backyard. Within 12-48 hours, one of our agents will contact you.

Paizo Employee Sales Associate

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RoboChris: does this mean if I project soup and grilled cheese, I will get grilled cheese and soup?

RoboChris: or will I be soup and grilled cheese?

Gary: it is remarkably hard to grill soup

Paizo Employee Customer Service & Community Manager

3 people marked this as a favorite.

robot chris: so many worms, we need a dump truck

Former VP of Finance

Wes: Goldfish leap...last ditch effort...start of it...

This wasn't a vaguely heard muttering. This was clearly heard as I stood next to him.


1d20 + 7 ⇒ (1) + 7 = 8
Spellcraft to identify the spell Wes was casting...

Damn, that won't even get me a cantrip :(

Contributor

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Chris Self wrote:

Wes: Goldfish leap...last ditch effort...start of it...

This wasn't a vaguely heard muttering. This was clearly heard as I stood next to him.

We broke Wes? :(


Jessica Price wrote:
Chris Self wrote:

Wes: Goldfish leap...last ditch effort...start of it...

This wasn't a vaguely heard muttering. This was clearly heard as I stood next to him.

We broke Wes? :(

I think one of the proteans may have challenged him to write a chapter of 50 Lampshades of Chaos. If that didn't do it, having Fran Drescher and Gilbert Gottfried record the chapter as an audiobook certainly would have.


Jessica Price wrote:
Chris Self wrote:

Wes: Goldfish leap...last ditch effort...start of it...

This wasn't a vaguely heard muttering. This was clearly heard as I stood next to him.

We broke Wes? :(

I think his brain had a near meltdown, and did an emergency shutdown to save itself.

He should be fine in a few days, provided it was not a complete meltdown


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Azure_Zero wrote:
Jessica Price wrote:
We broke Wes? :(

I think his brain had a near meltdown, and did an emergency shutdown to save itself.

He should be fine in a few days, provided it was not a complete meltdown

Wes is half-Gallifreyan, right? If it was a complete meltdown, he'll just regenerate into the next Wes incarnation.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Jessica Price wrote:
Chris Self wrote:

Wes: Goldfish leap...last ditch effort...start of it...

This wasn't a vaguely heard muttering. This was clearly heard as I stood next to him.

We broke Wes? :(

We're going to need another Wes.

Contributor, RPG Superstar 2009, RPG Superstar Judgernaut

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Posh, people! That's just his genius at work! Don't try to understand it. Just know that when it all comes together, it'll be awesome!

Spoiler:
Gotta stick up for the Editor-in-Chief!

Sovereign Court

JMD031 wrote:
Jessica Price wrote:
Chris Self wrote:

Wes: Goldfish leap...last ditch effort...start of it...

This wasn't a vaguely heard muttering. This was clearly heard as I stood next to him.

We broke Wes? :(
We're going to need another Wes.

There can be only one!

wait ... highlander flashback ...

There should be only one!

any more Weses (Wesi?) would just get confusing.


I'm having flashbacks of Chekov saying "Wessel" instead of "Vessel."


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Apparently I'm the only one who remembers the TV show Dinosaurs that was on ABC.

Liberty's Edge

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Pathfinder Companion Subscriber
JMD031 wrote:
Apparently I'm the only one who remembers the TV show Dinosaurs that was on ABC.

Not the Momma! Not the Momma! Trust me, you're not the only one.

Oh, and "We're gonna need another Timmy!"

Web Product Manager

Ross Last week I was visited by a squirrel. He tried to steal my food.


...so he became MY food. MUAHAHAHAHA!

The Exchange

Chris Lambertz wrote:
Ross Last week I was visited by a squirrel. He tried to steal my food.

What does that have to do with anything?!

The squirrel was my friend!

Paizo Employee Sales Associate

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James Jacobs:...and THAT appears to be a skull, trailing gravedust with a bunch of jewels. ...and THAT appears to be a Cosmo, drinking Tang with a bit of borsht. Because he is Russian!

(I am not Russian)


Cosmo wrote:

James Jacobs:...and THAT appears to be a skull, trailing gravedust with a bunch of jewels. ...and THAT appears to be a Cosmo, drinking Tang with a bit of borsht. Because he is Russian!

(I am not Russian)

That's EXACTLY what you would say if you were Russian and didn't want us to know!

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