Overheard at the Paizo office


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Paizo Employee Malaise-Inducement Construct

Sara Marie wrote:
robot chris: I’m not corrupted*, just busy!

*:
*Not a guarantee.
Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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cort: I will take infamy over fame every time.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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katina: We were gonna start blaming Cort for everything

katina: but realized that's what Cosmo is for

katina: so now you two shall fuse and become Cosmort


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Sara Marie wrote:

katina: We were gonna start blaming Cort for everything

katina: but realized that's what Cosmo is for

katina: so now you two shall fuse and become Cosmort

This isn't going to be some clean, Hollywood fusing like on the Tuvix episode of Star Trek: Voyager, is it? It's going to be some freaky, horror-show Cthulhoid amalgam.

'Cause it's Cosmo. And with Cosmo, you always choose the Elder of two Evils.


Readerbreeder wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:

katina: We were gonna start blaming Cort for everything

katina: but realized that's what Cosmo is for

katina: so now you two shall fuse and become Cosmort

This isn't going to be some clean, Hollywood fusing like on the Tuvix episode of Star Trek: Voyager, is it? It's going to be some freaky, horror-show Cthulhoid amalgam.

'Cause it's Cosmo. And with Cosmo, you always choose the Elder of two Evils.

No, just...no. Nope.

Development Manager

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Sara Marie wrote:

katina: We were gonna start blaming Cort for everything

katina: but realized that's what Cosmo is for

katina: so now you two shall fuse and become Cosmort

Uuuuuuuuuuhm, someone better buy me dinner first.

Paizo Employee Sales Imp

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Readerbreeder wrote:

It's going to be some freaky, horror-show Cthulhoid amalgam.

'Cause it's Cosmo. And with Cosmo, you always choose the Elder of two Evils.

:D

Silver Crusade

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Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Cort Odekirk wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:

katina: We were gonna start blaming Cort for everything

katina: but realized that's what Cosmo is for

katina: so now you two shall fuse and become Cosmort

Uuuuuuuuuuhm, someone better buy me dinner first.

Hssss, it is the coming of He-Who-Shall-Be-Blamed!


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Rysky wrote:
Cort Odekirk wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:

katina: We were gonna start blaming Cort for everything

katina: but realized that's what Cosmo is for

katina: so now you two shall fuse and become Cosmort

Uuuuuuuuuuhm, someone better buy me dinner first.
Hssss, it is the coming of He-Who-Shall-Be-Blamed!

He-Who-Shall-Be-Blamed-Without-Be-Named!


Sara Marie wrote:
robot chris: I’m not corrupted, just busy!

they aren't mutually exclusive.

8P

Webstore Gninja Minion

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Redacted A: Who doesn’t make more coffee when the first pot is empty before noon? On a Monday? That’s just…criminal.
Redacted B: >.>
Redacted B: I blame Cosmo. Coffee was his idea.
Redacted C: I bought 20 lbs of coffee last week. There is no reason the pot should be empty.

Silver Crusade

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Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Liz Courts wrote:

Redacted A: Who doesn’t make more coffee when the first pot is empty before noon? On a Monday? That’s just…criminal.

Redacted B: >.>

Another portent of He-Who-Shall-Be-Blamed's coming, these are dire days...

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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gary: we explore cheaper shipping alternatives all the time. just last month, we sent back a trebuchet that just wasn't cutting it

ashley: we're still lobbying the DOD to let us use the drones for drop shipments. we haven't heard back yet.

christopher: I still have the box cannon prototype in my garage.

cosmo: Unfortunately, my cloned flying monkey experiment still has hte status: “Overly Fighty”. They are not yet ready for public deployment.


Sara Marie wrote:

gary: we explore cheaper shipping alternatives all the time. just last month, we sent back a trebuchet that just wasn't cutting it

ashley: we're still lobbying the DOD to let us use the drones for drop shipments. we haven't heard back yet.

christopher: I still have the box cannon prototype in my garage.

cosmo: Unfortunately, my cloned flying monkey experiment still has hte status: “Overly Fighty”. They are not yet ready for public deployment.

The Air Force has some mothballed stealth bombers they're wanting to be rid of.

Grand Lodge

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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Sara Marie wrote:


cosmo: Unfortunately, my cloned flying monkey experiment still has hte status: “Overly Fighty”. They are not yet ready for public deployment.

ummmm.... Am I the only one who reads this and sees that Cosmo provided the genetic material for the flying monkeys??

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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cort: OK, apparently I'm the only one in the company that can't casually componse a sonet in old english.

katina: eh, it's more like sonnet mad libs
katina: and you should obviously work on that

robot chris: I can barely Oxford Comma
robot chris: so you’re not the only one, if that helps

katina: it WILL be brought up in your review

robot chris: *and* they trust me to talk to people somehow
robot chris: I don’t get it
robot chris: but wharves
robot chris: whatevs*


Sara Marie wrote:

cort: OK, apparently I'm the only one in the company that can't casually componse a sonet in old english.

katina: eh, it's more like sonnet mad libs
katina: and you should obviously work on that

robot chris: I can barely Oxford Comma
robot chris: so you’re not the only one, if that helps

katina: it WILL be brought up in your review

robot chris: *and* they trust me to talk to people somehow
robot chris: I don’t get it
robot chris: but wharves
robot chris: whatevs*

Overheard or Overread?

Dark Archive Software Developer

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Alex G St-Amand wrote:
Overheard or Overread?

Overwritten

Paizo Employee Quality Assurance Axiomite

Christopher Anthony wrote:
Overwritten

Objection!

Dark Archive Software Developer

Erik Keith wrote:
Objection!

Overruled

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Christopher Anthony wrote:
Overruled

Obliged.


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Pathfinder Adventure Subscriber
Christopher Anthony wrote:
Erik Keith wrote:
Objection!
Overruled

Overkill.


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Erik Keith wrote:
Christopher Anthony wrote:
Overwritten
Objection!

poor you...

Webstore Gninja Minion

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Katina: You just replenished my loyalty with an eggroll so you're good.

Dark Archive Software Developer

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Redacted: I need to livid

Customer Service Ray of Funshine

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Katina: we should offer [redacted] to customers

Robot Chris: is that where we get Cosmo to personally lick all the stamps?

Webstore Gninja Minion

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Money Chris: Have you ever dangled a participle in your life?
Me: Once when I was younger, to see what it felt like.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens Subscriber
Liz Courts wrote:

Money Chris: Have you ever dangled a participle in your life?

Me: Once when I was younger, to see what it felt like.

Hey, we were all young once (and needed the money).


Sharaya wrote:

Katina: we should offer [redacted] to customers

Robot Chris: is that where we get Cosmo to personally lick all the stamps?

I have never not wanted to know what [redacted] was before. Well done.

Paizo Employee Customer Service She-Hulk

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QA Erik: I just went to press delete a few times and accidentally pressed volume up on my computer
QA Erik: just when I thought Dethklok couldn't get anymore metal, I think I may be bleeding out of my ears.

Customer Service Ray of Funshine

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Diego: ...because I don't let even my best friends hang out in my mouth.

Customer Service Ray of Funshine

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Redacted A: Must be completely potty trained.
Redacted A: you think that means COMPLETELY?

Redacted B: Yes.
Redacted B: Yes, it does.

Redacted C: Well then I'm out I guess...


Sharaya wrote:

Redacted A: Must be completely potty trained.

Redacted A: you think that means COMPLETELY?

Redacted B: Yes.
Redacted B: Yes, it does.

Redacted C: Well then I'm out I guess...

Is Paizo becoming a dog-friendly workplace?!


Oladon wrote:
Sharaya wrote:

Redacted A: Must be completely potty trained.

Redacted A: you think that means COMPLETELY?

Redacted B: Yes.
Redacted B: Yes, it does.

Redacted C: Well then I'm out I guess...

Is Paizo becoming a dog-friendly workplace?!

Nah, Paizo is just no longer willing to hire Goblins to the work force.


Tels wrote:
Oladon wrote:
Sharaya wrote:

Redacted A: Must be completely potty trained.

Redacted A: you think that means COMPLETELY?

Redacted B: Yes.
Redacted B: Yes, it does.

Redacted C: Well then I'm out I guess...

Is Paizo becoming a dog-friendly workplace?!

Nah, Paizo is just no longer willing to hire Goblins to the work force.

Nah, we were doing great, but STEVE had to take a whiz on some servers last week. Now suddenly, all us gremlins are banned from the premises. The worst thing is, His Sparkling Luminescence didn't object... for He draws sustenance from our misery too!

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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redacted: so... paizo party bus to oregon?

redacted: swing by powells, voodoo and a liquor store?

Paizo Employee Customer Service She-Hulk

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Liz: If you want to hear the screams of the dying, press 0 for operator assistance.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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liz: Can we get Alan Rickman to do our voice messages?

liz: Because Alan Rickman = Karzoug

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

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Sara Marie wrote:

liz: Can we get Alan Rickman to do our voice messages?

liz: Because Alan Rickman = Karzoug

I'm still going with Hugo Weaving.


Pathfinder Adventure Subscriber

Ben Kingsley for me.

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

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Of the three, only Weaving has the forehead for the role.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Rather you save Rickman for Advion.


Sara Marie wrote:

liz: Can we get Alan Rickman to do our voice messages?

liz: Because Alan Rickman = Karzoug

PETER HAMMILL.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

4 people marked this as a favorite.

robot chris: getting slapped in the face with your own heart

sharaya: before or after your heart is trampled on?

robot chris: both
robot chris: slap - trample - slap
robot chris: it’s like a g+!%#~n bulbasaur of feelings

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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katina: or brew your own bear
katina: beer*
katina: don't brew a bear. Not recommended

sharaya: I've always wanted to try that

gary: mmmmm bear brew

christopher: Sounds like it could get hairy


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Sara Marie wrote:

robot chris: getting slapped in the face with your own heart

sharaya: before or after your heart is trampled on?

robot chris: both
robot chris: slap - trample - slap
robot chris: it’s like a g@$$%&n bulbasaur of feelings

See? That just makes me want to give Robot Chris a hug and a pat on the head. But since I'm not allowed to do that, I'll just hug my refrigerator instead.

Oooh! Leftovers! Mmmmm.....


Who will be played by Sir Christopher Lee?

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Baphomet?

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