Overheard at the Paizo office


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens Subscriber
Drejk wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:

ashley: dammit, i thought my computer was dieing. it's just the sound of cosmo's music being muffled by the wall.

cosmo: Sorry... I’ll turn it up

What kind of music Cosmo is listening to?

Well, he did once claim that this was the song of his people (though I confess I offered what I found a more viable one).

Webstore Gninja Minion

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Christopher: And consuming the bodies of fallen enemies?
Me: When I wanted to establish dominance, yes.
Christopher: Seems like consuming a fallen comrade should aid in interrogating the survivor(s).
Me: Eating the dead has numerous psychological advantages.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber
Liz Courts wrote:

Christopher: And consuming the bodies of fallen enemies?

Me: When I wanted to establish dominance, yes.
Christopher: Seems like consuming a fallen comrade should aid in interrogating the survivor(s).
Me: Eating the dead has numerous psychological advantages.

Don't forget to get the Heart! It's full of courage. Nice, tasty, delicious courage.

Paizo Glitterati Robot

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Erik Mona heheheheheheheheheheheheheheeee!


2 people marked this as a favorite.

I like the cut of this guy's jib.

Grand Lodge

Chris Lambertz wrote:
Erik Mona heheheheheheheheheheheheheheeee!

Not Batman.

Webstore Gninja Minion

12 people marked this as a favorite.

Removed a few posts. Whatever axe you have to grind regarding religion, these are not the forums to do it on.

Dark Archive Software Developer

Sharaya: it's just tricky and hard to find the right spot

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber
Christopher Anthony wrote:
Sharaya: it's just tricky and hard to find the right spot

That's why we have scopes.


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Pathfinder Adventure Subscriber
Christopher Anthony wrote:
Sharaya: it's just tricky and hard to find the right spot

But looking for it can be great fun.

Paizo Employee Sales Imp

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Ashley: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T FRY THAT? IT'S FOOTBALL SEASON DAMMIT AND I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF 'MURICA!


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens Subscriber
Kajehase wrote:
Christopher Anthony wrote:
Sharaya: it's just tricky and hard to find the right spot
But looking for it can be great fun.

I can't find the little man in the boat.

Webstore Gninja Minion

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Robot Chris: essentially they’re like Clippy
Robot Chris: but with knives


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*taps screen*


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Liz Courts wrote:

Robot Chris: essentially they’re like Clippy

Robot Chris: but with knives
That Damn Paper Clip wrote:
*taps screen*

"It looks like you're trying to go all stabby-stabby, slicey-slicey, murder-death-kill. Would you like help with that?"

Paizo Employee Sales Imp

12 people marked this as a favorite.

Post Monster: one donut to rule them all and in the darkness bind them http://33.media.tumblr.com/989b254dc2a05d9d05dc323b72a9beaf/tumblr_nbaq6ywy kO1r9no7zo1_500.jpg
Lissa: You offer this to me, freely?

Paizo Glitterati Robot

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Katina We gon' party like it's the dawn of the Second Age
Katina Gandalf! Drop the beat!

Webstore Gninja Minion

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Ashley: I would shank somebody for one of their muffins.
Me: I'm comforted by how willing our accountant is to shiv someone.
Ashley: Warms my cockles.


See the violence inherent in the system!

Paizo Glitterati Robot

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Katina I feel like there are several people in this office who are on the verge of breaking down and buying puppies every minute of their lives

Shadow Lodge

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Did someone say puppies?

Silver Crusade

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber
Chris Lambertz wrote:
Katina I feel like there are several people in this office who are on the verge of breaking down and buying puppies every minute of their lives

Puppies and kitties restore the soul and sanity. The help to keep the world right.

Dark Archive Software Developer

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Redacted: Benadryl is easy to find pure.

Paizo Glitterati Robot

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pmg if we add microwave emissions we can get a taser laser maser AND heat burritos

Webstore Gninja Minion

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Katina: Metaphorical pants.


5 people marked this as a favorite.
Liz Courts wrote:
Katina: Metaphorical pants.

...Plus a sharp simile shirt, an amazing allegorical ascot cap, and an obnoxiously-overweening onomatopoeic overcoat.

This advertisement paid for by Bulwer-Lytton Florid Fashions.

Webstore Gninja Minion

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Robot Chris: *wookie noises*
Katina: Um, I didn't hear wookie noises.
Sharaya: me neither
Robot Chris: I do not want to disturb art team
Katina: CS is disappoint.

Dark Archive Software Developer

4 people marked this as a favorite.

The Art Team is already pretty... disturbed.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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cosmo: Your actual reality has no bearing on the needs of my funny joke.

Paizo Employee Customer Service She-Hulk

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Ashley: fake spiders are a great way to get a place accidentally burnt down


Katina Mathieson wrote:
Ashley: fake spiders are a great way to get a place accidentally burnt down

My three daughters would agree with you; in fact, for them anything with more than four legs is adequate cause for arsonous behavior. How do you get someone to stop being terrified of something 1/10,000 your size?

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

5 people marked this as a favorite.
Readerbreeder wrote:
Katina Mathieson wrote:
Ashley: fake spiders are a great way to get a place accidentally burnt down
My three daughters would agree with you; in fact, for them anything with more than four legs is adequate cause for arsonous behavior. How do you get someone to stop being terrified of something 1/10,000 your size?

They already figured that out. Fire.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Readerbreeder wrote:
Katina Mathieson wrote:
Ashley: fake spiders are a great way to get a place accidentally burnt down
My three daughters would agree with you; in fact, for them anything with more than four legs is adequate cause for arsonous behavior. How do you get someone to stop being terrified of something 1/10,000 your size?

"I have such wonderful, wonderful things... to show you..." Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Dark Archive Software Developer

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No one hazes like Customer Service

Sara Marie: just put Diego on the phones
Katina: YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN, DIEGO
Katina: ANSWER ALL THE THINGS
Sara Marie: ^
Katina: if he needs help, we'll play charades until he figure out what to say


Now I want to call customer service with some really arcane question...

Dark Archive Software Developer

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Robot Chris: ... there’s an overheard for that

Paizo Employee Customer Service Representative

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I WILL answer all the things, and the answers will be vague and sort of wise sounding, but not helpful at all!

Counter of Magic Beans

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Readerbreeder wrote:
Katina Mathieson wrote:
Ashley: fake spiders are a great way to get a place accidentally burnt down
My three daughters would agree with you; in fact, for them anything with more than four legs is adequate cause for arsonous behavior. How do you get someone to stop being terrified of something 1/10,000 your size?

For me it took having a husband that wants nothing to do with spiders. Someone has to get the buggers out of the house. Granted by "get them out of the house" I mean "squish with the biggest shoe I can find and scrape the remains off on the cement outside," but hey, THEY were the ones who went behind enemy lines.

Also, you obviously haven't seen the spiders from Australia. Pretty sure those things are running around at a 1:1 scale. They feed on dropbears.

Paizo Employee Customer Service She-Hulk

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Diego Valdez wrote:
I WILL answer all the things, and the answers will be vague and sort of wise sounding, but not helpful at all!

Just use an online fortune cookie generator. Fortune cookies are never wrong.


5 people marked this as a favorite.
Katina Mathieson wrote:
Diego Valdez wrote:
I WILL answer all the things, and the answers will be vague and sort of wise sounding, but not helpful at all!
Just use an online fortune cookie generator. Fortune cookies are never wrong.

Outlook good!

Silver Crusade

Ashley Kaprielian wrote:
Readerbreeder wrote:
Katina Mathieson wrote:
Ashley: fake spiders are a great way to get a place accidentally burnt down
My three daughters would agree with you; in fact, for them anything with more than four legs is adequate cause for arsonous behavior. How do you get someone to stop being terrified of something 1/10,000 your size?

For me it took having a husband that wants nothing to do with spiders. Someone has to get the buggers out of the house. Granted by "get them out of the house" I mean "squish with the biggest shoe I can find and scrape the remains off on the cement outside," but hey, THEY were the ones who went behind enemy lines.

Also, you obviously haven't seen the spiders from Australia. Pretty sure those things are running around at a 1:1 scale. They feed on dropbears.

See, we go to all lengths to protect you two-legs from all manner of pests and threats, and this is the thanks we get... if I wasn't practically a paladin... razza frazza....

Paizo Employee Customer Service She-Hulk

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Liz: MOM, I'M THE DOVAHKIIN! GOD!


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you will be a grounded dovahkiin if you do not clean up all these cabbages right now, young lady


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My Cabbages!! *collapses in a heap*

Customer Service Ray of Funshine

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Gary Teter: picture edward scissorhands when he's all sad that he accidentally cut people with his sharp scissorhands. except it's freddy krueger.
Gary Teter: so, he's sad, but he kind of likes it a little too much


5 people marked this as a favorite.

Diego needs a cool title like the rest of customer service.

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